Worst Joke Ever

[scottiejohn]

35 minutes ago, riceyummm said:

AU! that's a gold one!

 

PS;  Periodically I can get to the top of the table!

 

 

 

Edited August 2, 2018 by scottiejohn

[CantSpell]

[CantSpell]

[bluesofa]

5 minutes ago, scottiejohn said:

26 minutes ago, riceyummm said:

I prefer the brown and white wrapper they normally come with.  What did you do with it?

I always thought it had the same properties as rice paper, and was edible?

 

[laislica]

[scottiejohn]

3 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

I always thought it had the same properties as rice paper, and was edible?

The wrapper mentioned above certainly tastes like I described it (I assume) but the contents are always adorable according to the original delivery service owners!

Edited August 2, 2018 by scottiejohn

[bluesofa]

4 minutes ago, laislica said:

Odd, she doesn't look Thai...

[CantSpell]

[scottiejohn]

12 minutes ago, CantSpell said:

Sorry, can I come a bit closer to you as I seem to be going a bit deaf and blind?

[scottiejohn]

9 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

Odd, she doesn't look Thai...

Which one?

Maybe she is not a "She". 

 

Mind you the whole thing could give a totally new meaning to the "Hole in the wall" and "Where (how?)  do I insert it and what do I get out of it comments. (the ATM I mean!!)

Edited August 2, 2018 by scottiejohn

[riceyummm]

[riceyummm]

[CantSpell]

[CantSpell]

[riceyummm]

[CantSpell]

2 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

Which one?

Maybe she is not a "She". 

 

Mind you the whole thing could give a totally new meaning to the "Hole in the wall" and "Where (how?)  do I insert it and what do I get out of it comments. (the ATM I mean!!)

Strange that this ATM keyboard has only 2 keys though...

Maybe one needs to press them repeatedly... in sequence ?

 

[CantSpell]

- "Why did you get into comedy?"

- "People where laughing at me anyway so I thought: Screw itm, i might as well start charging them.."

[bluesofa]

1 minute ago, CantSpell said:

- "Why did you get into comedy?"

- "People where laughing at me anyway so I thought: Screw itm, i might as well start charging them.."

Bob Monkhouse: When I said I was going to change careers and become a comedian, they all laughed at me. Well they're not laughing now...

 

[kickstart]

Local health inspector  goes into a local cafe, to say the place is dirty is an understatement, in the kitchen, the owner was making some bread, he had on a dirty apron, a fag hanging out of his mouth, kneading the bread fag ash falling into the bread mix 

The health inspector looks on aghast and says, "just look at this place, you are making bread, smoking a fag, worktops filthy, you must have a tool for making the bread".

The shop owner says" yes, but I use that for making doughnuts."

[scottiejohn]

1 hour ago, CantSpell said:

Strange that this ATM keyboard has only 2 keys though...

Maybe one needs to press them repeatedly... in sequence ?

 

A single raised dot in Braille is the letter "A".  Do you get bra cups in that size or do you just squeeze this set of buns (oops Puns) out for as much as you can milk them for?

 

 

[scottiejohn]

17 minutes ago, kickstart said:

The shop owner says "yes, but I use that for making doughnuts."

I thought he said that  "yes, but I use that for making mini doughnuts with cream on top for the little kids."

[fasteddie]

6 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

Where is the "enormous penis"?  It looks a bit on the small side if you ask me (or the girlfriend)!

Why, is the girlfriend's bigger too?

[chickenslegs]

[chickenslegs]

[scottiejohn]

12 hours ago, fasteddie said:

Why, is the girlfriend's bigger too?

How do you know.  Have you been out with "her" as well? ?

Edited August 3, 2018 by scottiejohn

[overherebc]

So Quasi Modo and his mate are getting pis--ed together one feezing cold night. Quasi decides it's time to ring the bells.

He gets up about 3 or 4 steps and slips, falls backwards and lands on his mate who decided to follow. They both crash to the floor and Quasi bangs his head and gets knocked out at the same time as his mate throws up all over him.

3 minutes later he comes to and runs about in a panic screaming I'm dying I'm dying.

His mate says what's the panic? you just banged your head and I puked on you when you landed on me.

Oh thank god he says, I thought my hump had burst.

???

[chickenslegs]

[chickenslegs]

[Andrew Dwyer]

Here’s one for you Scottiejohn

[riceyummm]