So Mrs Ping says that mama is coming down from the village next month for a holiday (staying with us). My job is to be the driver and wallet. 'How long is she staying, darling?' 'Oh, not long - maybe only a week.' What does she mean?

Easy, the key word is maybe.

Like in snow maybe expected in Bangkok this week.

Means she doesnt know how long she is staying, hopefully she doesn't show up with a bunch of boxes and suitcases.

No, no.... they arrive with their toothbrush and LEAVE with the boxes and suitcases.

No, no.... they arrive with their toothbrush and LEAVE with the boxes and suitcases.

Only after completely destroying family harmony.

No, no.... they arrive with their toothbrush and LEAVE with the boxes and suitcases.

Only after completely destroying family harmony.

And the new house is built.

Emigrate now.

Personally I don't mind Thai family dropping in, they usually just sit out the back and the dog bites any of the kids that get out of control.

So nothing to worry about, then...

So nothing to worry about, then...

No, nothing at all.

Just buy yourself a couple of second hand 44 Gallon drums, 15 cartons of <deleted>, 200 cans of baked beans, 30 kilograms of cheese, 60 crates of beer, DVD player, 2000B of sukhumvit pornos, a big freakin lock, and go and hide in the back shed for a couple of months.

This is good advice.

So nothing to worry about, then...

No, nothing at all.

Just buy yourself a couple of second hand 44 Gallon drums, 15 cartons of <deleted>, 200 cans of baked beans, 30 kilograms of cheese, 60 crates of beer, DVD player, 2000B of sukhumvit pornos, a big freakin lock, and go and hide in the back shed for a couple of months.

This is good advice.

When the end of the world apocalypse is near, I respectfully decline your invitation to share your bunker, thank you.

Baked beans indeed!! Hmph. It's tinned corned beef and cabin crackers, cheese, and tinned tomatoes for any long duration isolation.

Bourbon, not beer.

Sudoku not porn.....unless you have a lady friend to watch with.

THIS is good advice.

Means she doesnt know how long she is staying, hopefully she doesn't show up with a bunch of boxes and suitcases.

Though, these items could surely be sneaked in later when his back is turned.

So nothing to worry about, then...

No, nothing at all.

Just buy yourself a couple of second hand 44 Gallon drums, 15 cartons of <deleted>, 200 cans of baked beans, 30 kilograms of cheese, 60 crates of beer, DVD player, 2000B of sukhumvit pornos, a big freakin lock, and go and hide in the back shed for a couple of months.

This is good advice.

200 cans of beans... thank goodness no cigarettes....

SC

So nothing to worry about, then...

No, nothing at all.

Just buy yourself a couple of second hand 44 Gallon drums, 15 cartons of <deleted>, 200 cans of baked beans, 30 kilograms of cheese, 60 crates of beer, DVD player, 2000B of sukhumvit pornos, a big freakin lock, and go and hide in the back shed for a couple of months.

This is good advice.

200 cans of beans... thank goodness no cigarettes....

SC

Still...a carton or two of air spray might not go amiss....

So nothing to worry about, then...

No, nothing at all.

Just buy yourself a couple of second hand 44 Gallon drums, 15 cartons of <deleted>, 200 cans of baked beans, 30 kilograms of cheese, 60 crates of beer, DVD player, 2000B of sukhumvit pornos, a big freakin lock, and go and hide in the back shed for a couple of months.

This is good advice.

200 cans of beans... thank goodness no cigarettes....

SC

Still...a carton or two of air spray might not go amiss....

Probably need extra undergarments too with that many beans and the danger of follow-through

So nothing to worry about, then...

No, nothing at all.

Just buy yourself a couple of second hand 44 Gallon drums, 15 cartons of <deleted>, 200 cans of baked beans, 30 kilograms of cheese, 60 crates of beer, DVD player, 2000B of sukhumvit pornos, a big freakin lock, and go and hide in the back shed for a couple of months.

This is good advice.

200 cans of beans... thank goodness no cigarettes....

SC

Still...a carton or two of air spray might not go amiss....

Never trust a fart

What a party pooper!

Straying back on topic.... before your mother in law arrives, find out if she has sold or rented out her own house... it might be a long week

SC

or eat all those beans just before she arrives, the result might scare her back home

I doubt the baked beans solution will work - last year, the missus sent her two large boxes of dried squid (pla meuk). She'd left them in the boot of the car overnight; it took a month to get rid of the smell. So if mama can withstand that smell, she's just as likely to say to me, 'Baked beans, huh - you're an amateur'.

I doubt the baked beans solution will work - last year, the missus sent her two large boxes of dried squid (pla meuk). She'd left them in the boot of the car overnight; it took a month to get rid of the smell. So if mama can withstand that smell, she's just as likely to say to me, 'Baked beans, huh - you're an amateur'.

Not if you light your farts

SC

So, you posted the original post a week ago.

Has she arrived yet?

Arrives Wednesday. Watch this space.

Ping, you mentioned your gal hailed from Khampaeng Phet, in the middle of no where.

Been there a friend lives there with his Thai family.

Thai version of 'beyond the black stump"

How does she travel to Phuket?.....

We were picked up from Swampy and driven.

I bet the water-buffalo's sick................

If you are not keen on the mother in law hanging around, you could encourage her to go, by wearing gumboots and a nice pear of polka dot boxers, after liberally applying a tub a Vaseline to all sections of exposed skin, adding some feathers as decoration, and encouraging the next door neighbour's Chiwowa to spend lots of time [dry] humping your leg.

She'll think you are nuts and run for her live.

If you are not keen on the mother in law hanging around, you could encourage her to go, by wearing gumboots and a nice pear of polka dot boxers, after liberally applying a tub a Vaseline to all sections of exposed skin, adding some feathers as decoration, and encouraging the next door neighbour's Chiwowa to spend lots of time [dry] humping your leg.

She'll think you are nuts and run for her live.

I imagine that would do it.

You suggest that with so much authority and detail that I do not doubt that you have tried it......did you stunble upon the ploy by accident one day while experimenting?...if so, what were you experimenting?

I imagine that would do it.

You suggest that with so much authority and detail that I do not doubt that you have tried it......did you stunble upon the ploy by accident one day while experimenting?...if so, what were you experimenting?

No, I confess, I am recalling a scene from a Burt Reynold's movie with a liberal dose of artistic license.

Trouble is that the average Thai wife, fully aware you are not nuts, could cause serious injuries for the offence caused to mair.

Trouble is that the average Thai wife, fully aware you are not nuts, could cause serious injuries for the offence caused to mair.

The average Thai wife believes ALL foreigners are nuts, especially husband and any buddies.

That's one reason for getting out of Dodge fast.

(I could list the other couple of dozen reasons, but you've all experienced them at one time or another)