Foreigner Speaks - Nothing Is Heard

[jimbeam1]

It means your with the wrong family, if they don't accept or value your opinion.

I would think that you are spot on.

This guy had a post on here a couple of weeks ago. Similar type of situation with his stepson. Sure sounds like time to move on before they make your life hell, TQM. It certainly seems that they are getting to you?

jb1

hi jimbeam. the wife had some choice words with the stepson and he has now pulled his head in drastically. he now helps when things need to be done( i still have to ask however) but progress none the less.

Dont get me wrong, I use thaivisa to vent my frustrations sometimes but shortly after I calm down and everything is worked out. As some have said, things get lost in translation even after nearly 10 years together. I love the wife. She is sweet,kind and most times considerate. She works hard as do I, and we still behave in the same manner as if we met only last week. There is giggling and strange sexy looks and we have fun together. I have said it before, I wouldnt change her for anything and I believe we will be together for ever. Thaivisa is a great outlet for those in the sticks and its always good to hear all the different opinions and to know that other farang are going through the small hurdles as others do.

Thanks for all the replies and most importantly.........be careful out there. :jap:

So right, In the end it just down to the both of you.

I wish you well. :jap:

jb1

[endure]

Ah yes, the old love it or leave it gambit. Well played as I didn't even see it coming.

Where did I suggest that anyone ought to 'love it or leave it'? I simply pointed out that when you move to a place which is completely different in almost all possible ways to the one you were brought up in you ought not to expect to find things the way they were back home.

[Flatouthruthefog]

Maybe the Thais in question read ThaiVisa and hate us all..

Officials of Immigration and the Labour Office certainly read tv. And if they don't hate us on this thread (yet), they certainly will when they see some of the comments on Kowtow.

A polite 'wai' before and after the Immigration stamp, is worth a thousand knock-backs.

[JSixpack]

Include more ghosts in your suggestions and they might listen more.

Good one rakers. Start every sentence with " Granny Lek came to me in a dream and said...." It'll work wonders I reckon.

"Granny Lek came to me in a dream and said that the correct tyre pressures on an unladen D-Max are about 30 psi and not 60 as your brother seems to insist"

or

"Granny Lek came to me in a dream and said not to celebrate a 1000 baht win on the lottery seeing as you spend 5000 baht a month on tickets. You haven't "won" 1000 baht. You've only lost 4000."

or

"Granny Lek came to me in a dream and doesn't think it's a good idea to let our 12 year old son to take the motorcycle to school with his 7 year old sister on the back"

:D

Of a piece w/ the OP's complaint is that if a farang is talking to a Thai, and another Thai interrupts, then the listening Thai will turn to the other Thai and engage in that conversation, leaving the farang talking to himself.

But I'd say this is mostly uneducated lower-class behavior. Still, even educated Thais tend to give greater weight to an opinion voiced by a Thai peer rather than by an educated farang.

[Moonrakers]

Why do people allow this?

[F1fanatic]

To be fair, us Westerners pay far more attention to what other Westerners tell us over what a Thai tells us.

[Moonrakers]

To be fair, us Westerners pay far more attention to what other Westerners tell us over what a Thai tells us.

But with partners?

[ludditeman]

Learn to say

"Mung poot arai maa wa"

In an angry tone of voice, when someone butts in on your conversation.

It's a real show-stopper!

A good alternative

"Man tong hup paak wa"

[JSixpack]

Learn to say

"Mung poot arai maa wa"

In an angry tone of voice, when someone butts in on your conversation.

It's a real show-stopper!

A good alternative

"Man tong hup paak wa"

Pls write in Thai so that we can get the correct pronunciation.

[ludditeman]

Sorry, Thai script only allowed in Thai language forum.

Mung is grinning U, wa is short version A

[tijnebijn]

Sorry, Thai script only allowed in Thai language forum.

Mung is grinning U, wa is short version A

Not very good to talk like that , Meung is very impolite , lo-so as they say here , if you do want people

to notice you in a positive way should try to talk with manners , that really works .

And the sentence you refer to is no good Thai also by the way , kgo thot nah .

[Willeyeam]

Do you mind me asking where you live?

Is it a village thing?

Yes. :jap:

You ( as a foreigner) can suggest to a Thai that the sky is blue - but, If a Thai was to exclaim the sky was a shade of tartan with little pink dots - they will believe the Thai! That is one of simple facts that has led this country to the edge of stupidity - they actually believe themselves - they cannot accept logic, physical laws, reality - they live in their own little world, a bit like The Clangers - they even speak the same!

For EXAMPLE!

Thailand - The Hub Of Flooding!

[StreetCowboy]

Do you mind me asking where you live?

Is it a village thing?

Yes. :jap:

You ( as a foreigner) can suggest to a Thai that the sky is blue - but, If a Thai was to exclaim the sky was a shade of tartan with little pink dots - they will believe the Thai! That is one of simple facts that has led this country to the edge of stupidity - they actually believe themselves - they cannot accept logic, physical laws, reality - they live in their own little world, a bit like The Clangers - they even speak the same!

For EXAMPLE!

Thailand - The Hub Of Flooding!

Americans believe their own stories as well. There's nothing wrong with having a bit of faith.

And I'll not hear a bad word said about the Clangers. Major Clanger was offered the chance of a trip to Earth, but when he saw what he could expect, he dismantled his rocket ship and stuck to what he knew - and who can blame him?

SC

[MrHammer]

It means your with the wrong family, if they don't accept or value your opinion.

Typical of the denial on Thaivisa. The most obvious answer is simply ignored.

[hehehoho]

after 10 years of taking care of this family and my opinion means nothing.

They probably have little to no respect for you.

Generosity here will largely get you taken for a fool.

That's probably why they don't value your opinion.

Plus the local conditioning on youngsters (et al) about how great Thailand and Thais are, you being a non-Thai probably won't help.

Why have you been 'taking care of them' for 10 years? Didn't they manage to take care of themselves before you came along?

[WarpSpeed]

I don't have this problem much with my Thai neighbors they're always asking for and often times taking my advice, I only have this problem with my Chinese missus and our children ..... Wonder where they get it from ...

[JSixpack]

You ( as a foreigner) can suggest to a Thai that the sky is blue - but, If a Thai was to exclaim the sky was a shade of tartan with little pink dots - they will believe the Thai! That is one of simple facts that has led this country to the edge of stupidity

There used to be a book in the Jim Thompson museum w/ stories from old Siam. One was about some Thais who had happened upon an explosive, probably used for blasting in road construction but perhaps for weaponry. (Been many years since I read the story, but I remember the essence well because the similarity w/ current culture was so striking.)

These Thais didn't know what the explosive was and proceeded to mess with it. But a Westerner saw them, knew it was highly dangerous, and urged the Thais to keep away and leave it alone.

And they then proceeded to blow themselves up.

[Fookhaht]

Yes, the OP is definitely not alone.

At first I thought he was describing a typical Thai-foreigner teacher's meeting at our university! There's no language problem there, as all speak good English. It's definitely a cultural problem born from a deep xenophobia that many Thais just cannot seem to shake.

In my many years there, I've shared numerous warnings to fellow Thai instructors, who are not typically pro-active about upcoming problems. Normally, the foreigners' advice is ignored, and I get the feeling they think we're crying "wolf." We get the pat on the back of the hand that it'll all work out, and nothing is done. Their normal M.O. is to wait and see. Yes, the problems fester and then blow up in their faces. Then, my fellow Thai teachers go into "crisis-panic-mode" management with the resulting fallout which is much worse than if the problem had been headed off early.

We just went through a situation where two renegade teachers were negligent in performing their duties throughout the year. The immediate Thai administration was warned by the foreigner staff early-on, but the input was ignored, and foreigners were told not to complain. At the end of the term, things really blew up with the teachers skipping town, students not receiving grades, parent complaints, upper university administration lowering the boom, damage to the department's reputation, and much more.

All of this because foreigners' advice and input were considered inconsequential to the situation. Pretty frustrating stuff, and I feel your pain. Really!

[RakJungTorlae]

A lot of you guys live with the MILs I'm shore the majority of the world would not respect you.

[ludditeman]

I'm shore the majority of the world would not respect you.

Life's a beach!

[baboon]

A lot of you guys live with the MILs I'm shore the majority of the world would not respect you.

Whatever that meant.

[hehehoho]

The best way to prove an idiot wrong, let them have their own way.

Sit back and enjoy the show, Thailand's for fun. Nothing more.

[ES1]

Do you mind me asking where you live?

Is it a village thing?

Yes. :jap:

Give them more money. Clearly you are not being 'generous' enough.

[StreetCowboy]

I'm shore the majority of the world would not respect you.

Life's a beach!

Well done!

Humour is in the eye of the beholder, aqueous or vitreous.

SC

[billd766]

A lot of you guys live with the MILs I'm shore the majority of the world would not respect you.

In my case you got that the wrong way around.

My mother in law lives with us in her own small house that we built with her in mind.

She is also a year younger than me, speaks no English at all and every morning I give her her diabetes injection and in the afternoon she does it herself.

Also I really couldn't give a rats axxx whether the world respects me or not as the world certainly doesn't know me.

Have a nice day.

I know that I will.

[hehehoho]

Hope so, as you sound quite angry.

[softgeorge]

It may be a language thing. I can tell my wife something in English and she doesn't pay much attention. But when someone tells her the same thing in Mandarin, it is 100% right.

Just a thai thing. I can make suggestions to my wife (Thai) on various things and she thinks they are riduclous and pays no attention. The next day she will come up with a solution which is identical to that I proposed. I just say great idea dear and help her implement her own ideas and all is well. The way to go is to plant the seed in thier minds and let them "Think" it is thier brainwave and not yours.

[softgeorge]

A lot of you guys live with the MILs I'm shore the majority of the world would not respect you.

In my case you got that the wrong way around.

My mother in law lives with us in her own small house that we built with her in mind.

She is also a year younger than me, speaks no English at all and every morning I give her her diabetes injection and in the afternoon she does it herself.

Also I really couldn't give a rats axxx whether the world respects me or not as the world certainly doesn't know me.

Have a nice day.

I know that I will.

Your Mother In Law is YOUNGER than you??? Did I read that right or is it a typo? Not judging you but have not heard of this before, most our mother in laws are older than thier son in laws.

[kerryk]

A lot of you guys live with the MILs I'm shore the majority of the world would not respect you.

In my case you got that the wrong way around.

My mother in law lives with us in her own small house that we built with her in mind.

She is also a year younger than me, speaks no English at all and every morning I give her her diabetes injection and in the afternoon she does it herself.

Also I really couldn't give a rats axxx whether the world respects me or not as the world certainly doesn't know me.

Have a nice day.

I know that I will.

Your Mother In Law is YOUNGER than you??? Did I read that right or is it a typo? Not judging you but have not heard of this before, most our mother in laws are older than thier son in laws.

My last marriage in the West and all my relationships in Thailand have had mother in laws that were younger than me. I thought it was the norm. I guess it's a 60's generation thing. The 60's were a lot of fun. I just can't stop having fun. Maybe when I'm dead.

[ludditeman]

Your Mother In Law is YOUNGER than you??? Did I read that right or is it a typo? Not judging you but have not heard of this before, most our mother in laws are older than thier son in laws.

A wise man's MIL is younger than him. Then when he gets tired of the wife, he can shag the MIL.