Ok, loaded question! How in my face in the sex problems in Thailand?

[prestburypark]

Could be right in your face for a small consideration, really have you ever travelled anywhere? Check it out its a country not a tv show . It is not considered a problem here either, no repressed western hangups

just some eastern ones to find out about.

There are quite a few western wives with faces like slapped <deleted> wandering about places like Pattaya as the local talent is somewhat more desirable than they are.

Them's the breaks, the quality of the western men here aint that appealing on the whole, so thems the breaks for the girls here.

Come here, enjoy the place and don't get hung up on nonsense.

[simple1]

Before yet another post questioning whether OP has ever travelled, is a troll etc etc take a look at the other topic posted by the OP.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/698633-who-can-telll-me-all-they-know-about-chanthaburi/page-2

[phka]

KANELA im not sure where you will want to live in thailand but if you moved to kanchanaburi there wont be a problem for you, there is absoulutly no sex industry in that province whatsoever, however you might find the people are particually unfriendly in that province

Really ? There's sex industry everywhere in Thailand just it's only openly visible in tourist areas as Thai men won't be seen with hookers in public and really can't understand why farangs do.

Whether it's a local karaoke bar, hairdressers, massage place fronting as a clean massage place or the golf course, it is everywhere but kept out of sight.

almost correct but kanchanaburi and saphanburi are well known to have a zero tolerance of any sex related establishments

[mrtoad]

KANELA im not sure where you will want to live in thailand but if you moved to kanchanaburi there wont be a problem for you, there is absoulutly no sex industry in that province whatsoever, however you might find the people are particually unfriendly in that province

Kanchanaburi ?

He is considering Chanthaburi, and they are a pretty long way apart. As for no sex industry in Kan, you obviously haven't seen much of the place and there is nowt wrong with the people up there either.

[mrtoad]

KANELA im not sure where you will want to live in thailand but if you moved to kanchanaburi there wont be a problem for you, there is absoulutly no sex industry in that province whatsoever, however you might find the people are particually unfriendly in that province

Really ? There's sex industry everywhere in Thailand just it's only openly visible in tourist areas as Thai men won't be seen with hookers in public and really can't understand why farangs do.

Whether it's a local karaoke bar, hairdressers, massage place fronting as a clean massage place or the golf course, it is everywhere but kept out of sight.

almost correct but kanchanaburi and saphanburi are well known to have a zero tolerance of any sex related establishments

Nonsense, there is a number of places in Kan. Not so sure about Suphanburi, as only spent minimal time there. Edited January 27, 2014 by mrtoad

[nicolas18]

KANELA im not sure where you will want to live in thailand but if you moved to kanchanaburi there wont be a problem for you, there is absoulutly no sex industry in that province whatsoever, however you might find the people are particually unfriendly in that province

Not quite accurate...the sector of the sex industry that caters to Thai men is EVERYWHERE, every province, every "market town"...it's WAY bigger than the farang-oriented sector, which is only in a very few places. The difference is, as an outsider clearly knowing nothing about Thai society, the OP will not know the Thai sector of the sex industry when she sees it...but make no mistake, it's there.

Not just Thai men, there is also a wide array of establishments in any medium/large town that cater to Thai women as well.

[donniereadit]

You will see prostitution massage places and small bars with girls all over and foreigners with young prostitutes are walking around everywhere.

But it's really easy to see and not think much more about it in the short term, because it appears very normal, not really like a hooker would look in the west.

That's for Chiang Mai, if you go south to Phuket, Pattaya or Bangkok it gets more obvious. Also, stay away from backpacker and tourist areas, get your own house away from apartments and condos if you can.

I'm sorry to say that over time It will be a factor in your stay here if it bothers you, and never altogether absent. More conservative countries include Laos and Vietnam.

[nicolas18]

because it appears very normal, not really like a hooker would look in the west.

We, sir, have apparently not seen the same farang/BG couples.

[true blue]

Well I don't know about you but whenever I see an older gent with a local woman who's clearly his wife/GF in places like Big C or Tesco, invariably she is anything but young, hard-bodied and attractive.

As someone else said, if these men are describing these local women as "beautiful", <deleted> were they knocking boots with back home??

All the women I had relationships with, in Thailand, where attractive when I met them.

How attractive they would have been after 10 years, maybe not.

The one I was married to in the UK, wasn't so hot after 30 years, but looked OK when she was 19.

I am a happily married man in Chiang Mai.

Almost impossible to stay faithful to my wife as I get offers all the time (at least one at random every month).

Only last week, I smiled at a young woman in my local coffee bar.

As I left she pulled up alongside me in a big 4x4, wound her window down, and said get in ..... yes, I was tempted.

Then you woke up................

he does talk some utter crap that 52,little boy lost syndrome??

[howerde]

Well, here's the perspective of an married retired woman living in Chiang Mai. If the OP has to ask about this, then (I'm sorry to say) she's got reason to be concerned. I have to assume she's done some traveling or else she wouldn't be retiring to Chiang Mai. Everywhere in the world, the sex trade is confined to geographically defined parts of town. Nowhere is the entire country one big brothel. She's got to know this.

As has been pointed out -- it's not the sex workers who are a concern -- it's the friendly cashier at the coffee shop, the lady in the condo office, yes, even the lady who does your laundry. They'd all like a "sponsor" and who better to sponsor them than that nice, new arrival -- your husband. If you suspect your husband "played around" with a co-workers before he retired, but had the good sense to keep it from you, then he's going to have a lot more time to engage in his favorite hobby now that he's retired. And, unfortunately, his money is going to be worth much, much more in Thailand, which will make him much more appealing to women much more attractive than Doris in Accounting -- remember her? The one who was past her sell-by date, wore too much make-up and clothes that were way too tight and revealing , but always laughed at your husband's jokes at the company parties.

It's time to have a really frank talk with Hubby. As for me and my Hubby, you simply can't deny a man all the beauty and flirting here. My "rule" is a firm "look but don't touch rule". I don't mind him going out with friends once or twice a month to look at everything on display. I have other friends with a "don't ask, don't tell rule" who don't mind their Hubby's having a mia noi. Personally, I don't think our finances could handle that and Hubby says he doesn't want that much drama in his life. Instead he just listens to his friends try to manage their wives and mia nois. Yes, it's a challenge.

Yes Bar girls are not likely to be your problem, it is that waitress/shop assistant, that is more of an issue, that smile that lasts a little longer than most customers get, the running to get you a table, just lingering a little too long at ordering, only glancing up at the counter ensures she is at your side at mach speed, she seems always to be in eye view where ever you look, these things really do things to a mans ego, even though you know its money, these woman are very patient.

Edited January 27, 2014 by howerde

[true blue]

lets be honest,the whole place/country is one fantastic sex driven orientated wet dream for those who want it.

[wym]

KANELA im not sure where you will want to live in thailand but if you moved to kanchanaburi there wont be a problem for you, there is absoulutly no sex industry in that province whatsoever, however you might find the people are particually unfriendly in that province

almost correct but kanchanaburi and saphanburi are well known to have a zero tolerance of any sex related establishments

I find that very very interesting, and will take it as a personal challenge to investigate with some of my Thai mail friends next time the opportunity arises.

I will be very surprised to find the karaoke and sing-sing girl places manage to make a profit without the extras. No short-time hotels, nor girls available in the lobbies or via the concierge at the regular hotels? No coffee shops, no massage places, no barber shops offering extras? No areas in town with girls hanging around the front of a bar with colored lights outside?

If this is indeed true, then the only possible explanation is that the local mafia/BiB are operating something very discreet like outcall-only services, and don't tolerate any competition at all.

And of course none of this is relevant to the persuasive power of a single farang guy with money in his pocket interacting out and about with normal Thai women. Obviously that's got nothing to do with prostitution as far as Thais are concerned, but. . .

Bottom line is there isn't a single place on this planet where a determined man can't find a girl willing to give it up for money, and that's including places where women are stoned to death for doing so.

[wym]

Not just Thai men, there is also a wide array of establishments in any medium/large town that cater to Thai women as well.

Now this I also find fascinating - really?

What sort of cover do these establishments operate under, hair salons?

I've seen Thai women - but only wealthy ones picking up boy toys in the Boystown area along Surawong, but those are establishments mainly catering to gay foreigners (many male sex workers there aren't actually gay, just in it for the money). Also occasionally picking up African boy toys on Nana Neua, but AFAIK there isn't a bricks-and-mortar business for that, just normal street-level transactions.

But in my experience Thai women generally don't want random sex with strangers, most want some sort of ongoing relationship even when it's just for fun. More modern younger girls of course are starting to be more liberated that way, but then they don't have to pay for it.

[donniereadit]

Well I don't know about you but whenever I see an older gent with a local woman who's clearly his wife/GF in places like Big C or Tesco, invariably she is anything but young, hard-bodied and attractive.

As someone else said, if these men are describing these local women as "beautiful", <deleted> were they knocking boots with back home??

All the women I had relationships with, in Thailand, where attractive when I met them.

How attractive they would have been after 10 years, maybe not.

The one I was married to in the UK, wasn't so hot after 30 years, but looked OK when she was 19.

I am a happily married man in Chiang Mai.

Almost impossible to stay faithful to my wife as I get offers all the time (at least one at random every month).

Only last week, I smiled at a young woman in my local coffee bar.

As I left she pulled up alongside me in a big 4x4, wound her window down, and said get in ..... yes, I was tempted.

This is actually a good example of how many people think in Thailand. They have a gift for taking appearances as reality while ignoring what's under the surface. Notice how only looks are mentioned and nothing about personality or anything other then body and looks.

If you can do this daily for most things you are fine with living here and is one of the things Thailand is great at it providing appearances and surface smiles, just look at the smile, nevermind about the rest and don't analyze or bring up problems. Drinking can help too.

[nicolas18]

Not just Thai men, there is also a wide array of establishments in any medium/large town that cater to Thai women as well.

Now this I also find fascinating - really?

What sort of cover do these establishments operate under, hair salons?

I've seen Thai women - but only wealthy ones picking up boy toys in the Boystown area along Surawong, but those are establishments mainly catering to gay foreigners (many male sex workers there aren't actually gay, just in it for the money). Also occasionally picking up African boy toys on Nana Neua, but AFAIK there isn't a bricks-and-mortar business for that, just normal street-level transactions.

But in my experience Thai women generally don't want random sex with strangers, most want some sort of ongoing relationship even when it's just for fun. More modern younger girls of course are starting to be more liberated that way, but then they don't have to pay for it.

I'm gay, so I've sometimes been dragged to Thai male karaokes by gay Thai friends. Well over half of the clientele in those establishments are groups of girls/women. Since they are Thai-oriented, they are not located in gay areas. In Pattaya, they can be found mostly on 3rd Road and in Soi Khopai.

I tend to stay away from those places though, because I'm not a huge fan of Thai music and because a lot of these Thai karaoke places employ underage boys (16-25yo seems to be the average age range in these places).

Edited January 27, 2014 by nicolas18

[wym]

As I said, I have seen this - TGs openly buying sex in ostensibly gay venues - in places like downtown Bangkok and especially Pattaya, but in provincial towns??

That's the part I have a hard time visualizing. . .

[nicolas18]

As I said, I have seen this - TGs openly buying sex in ostensibly gay venues - in places like downtown Bangkok and especially Pattaya, but in provincial towns??

That's the part I have a hard time visualizing. . .

It exists there as well... I once ended up in a male Thai karaoke right in the middle of nowhere, halfway between Sakhon Nakhon and Nakhon Phanom...

Same same, mostly female clientele, along with some gay guys...

Edited January 27, 2014 by nicolas18

[sustento]

Yes, everywhere you go, it cannot be avoided. Same as kangaroos roaming the streets in Sydney.

[wym]

As I said, I have seen this - TGs openly buying sex in ostensibly gay venues - in places like downtown Bangkok and especially Pattaya, but in provincial towns??

That's the part I have a hard time visualizing. . .

It exists there as well... I once ended up in a male Thai karaoke right in the middle of nowhere, halfway between Sakhon Nakhon and Nakhon Phanom...

Same same, mostly female clientele, along with some gay guys...

And I know might be a silly question, but do they regularly partake of the extra services or just there for the booze and singing?

[kanela]

I believe the question you're really asking is, will your boyfriend leave you for a Thai girl, given all the offerings and distractions?

The answer is, it depends; on the well-being of your relationship, and where you choose to stay.

Stay out of the touristy areas in Bangkok / Chiang-Mai and you should generally be ok.

Actually I can clearly see that is what everyone thinks. I have not responded because this is not what the intent of my question was. I have no concerns about my husband. That is not what the question was about. The responses seem to have really gotten out of control. However it turned out to be quite the eye opener as to the quality of the foreigners in Thailand. Thank you for your advice.

[wym]

Well the answer to your original question was made very clear I think, but there's a big BUT that we wanted to point out

Glad to hear you have such confidence in your husband, hope that works out for you.

And you're completely right, in moving here, most sane people have far more complaints about the foreigners around them than with the Thais.

Glad we could help prepare you so you know what to expect. . .

[kanela]

And, unfortunately, his money is going to be worth much, much more in Thailand, which will make him much more appealing to women much more attractive than Doris in Accounting -- remember her? The one who was past her sell-by date, wore too much make-up and clothes that were way too tight and revealing , but always laughed at your husband's jokes at the company parties.

Jesus!

Is this what happened to you with your husband?

OMG this is all to ridiculous!!

[wym]

Actually most true answer I could give to the OP is

"What problems?"

Edited January 27, 2014 by wym

[thehelmsman]

And, unfortunately, his money is going to be worth much, much more in Thailand, which will make him much more appealing to women much more attractive than Doris in Accounting -- remember her? The one who was past her sell-by date, wore too much make-up and clothes that were way too tight and revealing , but always laughed at your husband's jokes at the company parties.

Jesus!

Is this what happened to you with your husband?

OMG this is all to ridiculous!!

Actually you started the ball rolling with a ridiculous question.

[NancyL]

And, unfortunately, his money is going to be worth much, much more in Thailand, which will make him much more appealing to women much more attractive than Doris in Accounting -- remember her? The one who was past her sell-by date, wore too much make-up and clothes that were way too tight and revealing , but always laughed at your husband's jokes at the company parties.

Jesus!

Is this what happened to you with your husband?

OMG this is all to ridiculous!!

Actually you started the ball rolling with a ridiculous question.

Yes, Kanela, you did. It was something I didn't really think about before we decided to retire over here and the fact that you are thinking about it made me wonder why -- that's why I put some thought into my answer. Clearly "Hardened Soul" doesn't know me or Hubby, or he wouldn't have made that crack. We're one of the many expat couples in Chiang Mai who retired here as a couple and stay together as a couple.

I organize a twice-monthly expat ladies lunch group, open to the public, so the lunches attract many newcomers. I post announcements about our lunches in the Thai Visa Chiang Mai Events subforum. Chiang Mai attracts many retired expat couples and I've gotten to know many new arrivals. The vast majority of couples have no problems with the "sex problem in Thailand" as you put it in your OP, but some do and it's devastating for the wife. If the problem occurs, it's almost always during the first year -- probably the "kid in the candy store" effect. It's my observation that these guys were probably playing around quietly before retirement, but once they got to Thailand either their hobby become harder to hide from the wife or they simply decided it was time to trying to hide their dissatisfaction with their marriage.

So it's puzzling as to why if you trust your husband and have complete confidence in him you would ask the question "how in my face is the sex problems in Thailand" I think you received some good answers to your question.

Edited January 28, 2014 by NancyL

[nicolas18]

As I said, I have seen this - TGs openly buying sex in ostensibly gay venues - in places like downtown Bangkok and especially Pattaya, but in provincial towns??

That's the part I have a hard time visualizing. . .

It exists there as well... I once ended up in a male Thai karaoke right in the middle of nowhere, halfway between Sakhon Nakhon and Nakhon Phanom...

Same same, mostly female clientele, along with some gay guys...

And I know might be a silly question, but do they regularly partake of the extra services or just there for the booze and singing?

From what I've seen, younger (20-ish) girls tend to go to male karaoke places just to have fun with their friends. They do invite one or several boys to their table, but they usually don't bar fine them. The older ones are the ones who tend to take one of the guys back home.

[wym]

or often not home I would think, Thai husbands usually don't play fair in the non-monogamous game

Edited January 28, 2014 by wym

[canman]

I believe the question you're really asking is, will your boyfriend leave you for a Thai girl, given all the offerings and distractions?

The answer is, it depends; on the well-being of your relationship, and where you choose to stay.

Stay out of the touristy areas in Bangkok / Chiang-Mai and you should generally be ok.

Actually I can clearly see that is what everyone thinks. I have not responded because this is not what the intent of my question was. I have no concerns about my husband. That is not what the question was about. The responses seem to have really gotten out of control. However it turned out to be quite the eye opener as to the quality of the foreigners in Thailand. Thank you for your advice.

You have made it clear that when you say "in my face sex problems" you are not refering to your husband wandering. Maybe you could define exactly what you mean by "in my face sex problems"

[geriatrickid]

What happens in Thailand, stays in Thailand !!

Not really. There have been several STI epidemics in the UK and Germany that arose after visitors to Thailand returned to their countries.

Last year the Aftenposten of Norway printed a recap of a Norwegian Institute of Public Health(NIPH) study. It was very interesting;

- The 2 most common diseases Norwegians acquire when they travel are GI and sexually transmitted varieties.

- The most common of the sexually transmitted diseases is gonorrhea with 120 cases found, followed by HIV infection (41 cases) and syphilis (13 cases).

- Heterosexual men mostly were infected in Southeast Asia (particularly Thailand), while gay men usually infected in Europe (especially Spain and Germany). (That stat says alot)

[JLCrab]

Maybe Ms. Kanela could have better asked the question: How visible is the sex industry here in Thailand if one does not want to be confronted on a daily basis that such an industry exists?