Will my Thai wife experience culture shock in the US?

[zierf1]

I'm 33 I am trying to get my Thai wife a marriage visa to the US. It is a nightmare getting all the required forms. I cannot get her a tourist visa(this makes me real angry but that's another story). I don't think she will like it here that much when she arrives. I am from the midwest and the weather here is miserable, cloudy and cold. I notice a lot of guys are from exciting, warm places like California and Hawaii. Unfortunately, I'm not. I notice that many Americans around me don't travel *particularly* much. We have a lot of rednecks and country bumpkins around here. A hot, young Thai girl like my wife will stick out here like a sore thumb and will attract all kinds of unwanted attention from other men!! There is not much Thai food or other Thai people around here. I have not seen ANY other men around here with foreign women(not too unusual since most Americans don't travel a great deal). How will she adapt? Will she want to go back home? This is a huge question!

[Costas2008]

OP, what an exiting place you live in!

I give her 3 months, before she wants to come back.

So you better get a return ticket to Thailand.

Anyway, wish you and your wife Good Luck and Thailand will always be here.

[krisb]

Seriously, how would we know how your wife will find living in your town??

I know most Thai girls would like access to their food ingredients, not just rice alone.

[Shot]

According to some of your past posts, you have a small internet company. Where do you live now, and why do you live there? Move to Orlando, or another warm, inexpensive location that has a wide variety of races and cultures.

[daboyz1]

I know a girl that came on a K-1 visa to Green Bay about a year ago. She seemed to adapt just fine. The marriage didn't work out and she's still in Wisconsin.

[Suradit69]

I notice that many Americans around me don't travel *particularly* much. We have a lot of rednecks and country bumpkins around here.

When you say "around me" and "here" are you speaking of a place in the US or in Pattaya & Chiang Mai? Seems your comment would be applicable in either case.

Given all the moaning and whining on TV from Americans and Brits in Thailand, most are suffering severe culture shock even after being here for many years, so I suppose Thais might be expected to do the same, although without being as loud or crude in expressing it.

Considering your description of your life and your neighbors where you stay, why would you, let alone her, want to live there? The last time I was back in the midwest, things didn't seem quite that "backwoodsy" as you imply.

I am from the midwest and the weather here is miserable, cloudy and cold.

That's not exactly an issue of culture shock.

[NeverSure]

The midwest is huge - bigger than most countries. It spans from pretty bitter winters up North to nice and balmy down South. It has open farmland and deep woods. It has beautiful big cities and very rural areas of very simple people.

It would be nice to have an idea what part of the midwest before making an assessment of it. Sort of like the blind man describing the elephant saying.

[xen]

Just to help her make sure she has access to internet and skype , and a source of ingredients for som tum. It will take the edge of the shock.

[The Man Who Sold the World]

zierf1;

The short answer is Yes, there is no way she will not experience culture shock. The question is how bad will it be. Hopefully , only minor irritations will occur.

The things you can do to minimize the “negatives” of culture shock; 1) plan a return “visit” for her, make plans for a one or two month vacation back to Thailand maybe a year or eighteen months after her arrival. 2) set her up with the internet connections so she can skype her family. 3) Find local girls her age and enlist their help in making her “feel-at-home”. 4) find the closest Asian food store so you can take her shopping for Asian food staples. 5) set up internet shopping sources for Thai products. 6) arrange transportation for her so she is not house-bound. 7) set up Thai TV at home.

Anyway you (and it is your responsibility), must make her feel comfortable, and happy in her new home. Loneliness and homesickness will set in, they are human nature and you must prevent them from damaging or destroying your plan(s). Unfortunately culture shock can be a deal-breaker.

Good Luck.

[slipperylobster]

I am sure she will, once you go to Walmart...

[F4UCorsair]

She'll suffer culture shock if she sees that T shirt on the fat Walmart chick.

Seriously, what level of maturity is needed to wear that shirt? I'd suggest that of an 8 yo schoolboy.

Edited September 15, 2014 by F4UCorsair

[F4UCorsair]

You can take the girl out of Thailand/Asia, but you can't take Thailand/Asia out of the girl.

Asians are far more family oriented than us, and she'll miss them desperately.

A few succeed, many fail.

Good luck.

Edited September 15, 2014 by F4UCorsair

[ridge runner]

depends. do you/where you live. I am from small farm grew up with pigs chickens cows garden dogs my wife pigs chickens ducks buffalo dogs. get the PIC same same but diff. she loved my dad became her pa and was the last person he spoke to. still spends more time on phone with mom than I do. my wife loved Wisconsin also. ice fishing driving in the snow. could go on and on but won't. bottom line does she want to be with you? not who or what she thinks you are! does she know you? and same ? for you. my wife and I had no secrets from day one. 45 years 2 kids 4 grandkids andv2 great grands we are still together.

[ebean001]

I actually know 2 thai ladies who have moved to small town in Missouri. They seem to have adjusted well. The issue is thai food, what does she do all day when your at work, can she make friends, do you have English training classes nearby, can she drive. The English training classes will be good way for her to meet other farangs. The problem is some can guide her very wrong. Be prepared for a lot of questions after she gets to know them. I live in Thailand but visited USA with my wife. She would never live in USA. She liked it but - Thais don't try to adjust as much as we try to adjust to Thai. I think it has to do with their education level - etc. My wife hated bars in America. People just making a lot of noise and drinking. She wants to play pool and have her lady friends with her otherwise she just sat and drank since, especially, she did not knowing the language well. Your having fun with your friends - she cannot because of language. Then with all the English being spoken her brain will get tired and headache and etc. Good luck - I do know of successes.

[Card]

I personally love the American west and once did a tour and will visit again. I love those out of the way places where no body travels to or from, and the people are unloved and unloving, like Australia and Scotland. I am interested to know which part of the USA you are from - just the region is enough.

[klauskunkel]

she will experience money shock the first time she goes for a foot massage.

you will experience another shock once she starts to put on the weight.

...but mostly she will miss interactions with family and friends, keep her busy and interested!

[tx22cb]

If she is a pretty young thing, I think she will be accepted more readily/more quickly by the locals.

Try to find something for her to do. A part-time job. Or a hobby. How to use an oven and then bake cookies. Join a women's or church group.

Shopping trips to Walmart will cure most forms of depression.

There may not be many Thais nor Thai food, but there is bound to be some Asian/Chinese shops.

[masuk]

I think the climate will wear her down in a matter of months.

Friends of mine here insulated the roof of their house, which stopped it getting so hot during the day. His Thai wife complained that the house was too cold.

Imagine what it would be like if your state is as cold as you describe.

[glennb6]

BTDT, locate thai food, thai videos, and keep the humor level up. Chokdee

[tboxcar]

Get her access to Thai food ingredients first, then see about local Thai community even if it's far away. My wife and I live in Lake Tahoe and she handled the cold like 'a champ' and found a Thai restaurant and even learned to drive in the snow, but Tahoe was still rough.

Finally moved back to San Franciso and many more Thais there and job opps, she now works two jobs and has many friends, and is saving alot of money. The family thing is the real issue, and a big issue as she is from Isaan, she has been back several times and misses the family alot/

So keep her connected to Thailand so important, dont' worry about the cold...she will make it....but friends who speak Thai and connections to home are most important.

[Gandtee]

Why are you even thinking about it? From your description I wouldn't want to live there.

[chickin]

Because of certain rules of this forum, I'm not able to give you a more broad answer. What many people deem as the truth, they ain't havin' 'round these parts. Fair enough, I say, your forum not mine.

But just don't do it man. Concerning taking animals out of their natural habitat, I've seen the few (relative) successes, and they don't look like success to me. The failures are epic, note worthy, and supreme. The sense of wonder that you have while in TH completely morphs into something else when you try to remove it.

Maybe you could do a reverse on your perspective? Get a degree/certification/profession, if you don't already have one. Move to Thailand. Lower your expectations. Consume mass quantities of alcohol to lower your IQ. Buy some flip-flops, muscle shirts, and get a few bad tats so you look like a hobo. You have a much better chance of acclimating here, in TH, than there.

As an alternative, you can find fulfilling work in your home country. Spend quality time with like-minded people. Develop a following or group of friends, employees, customers, loved-ones, etc. Maybe even find a local girl to court, breed, marry, and subsequently divorce. Twice. Then after building this life, income, and lineage, you will find yourself with a small amount of extra income; if you've spent/saved wisely. At this point it's time to embark on what you normal westerners call "vacation". Ah, vacation. I remember those. It's when you set aside realities and set out for wild times of wonderment, fornication, and random acts of debauchery. These normally last one-two weeks. And then one goes back to their normal, productive lives.

During this time you will taste the fruits of what Thailand, or whatever country filled with less fortunate people you choose to visit. And the fruit will be fresh, ripe, and always in season. Stay past the two week window, and the fruit WILL spoil. Many try to stockpile this fruit, hoping to have it ferment into an elixir that may bring back the original glory of those first few weeks. But, alas, it never happens. Once you lose your tourist badge, the locals see you in a different light. Where once they filled your basket with pineapple, dragon fruit, and berries, it suddenly becomes durian and rock fruit. Stay a tourist. Their fruit is much sweeter.

You see, that's what Thailand is designed for. That's why all these tourism awards are bestowed upon them. That's what this government (?) wants. Tourists.

Back to the question. Just don't do it.

[jacksam]

OP you are right on the money. She will miss Thailand way more than us farang can grasp.

Some love one aspect, and thats finally able to get some work and recieve more than 300 baht a day.

Doesnt sound like that may be an option. Make the first trip to usa with a timeframe. Maybe 6 weeks.

We all assume our thai gfs will love the wonderful scenery etc of our respective countries. Doesnt mean as much to them as would imagine

On top of that most younger men are still working. What do they do.

Good luck you sound a realist

[Evolare]

I'm 33 I am trying to get my Thai wife a marriage visa to the US. It is a nightmare getting all the required forms. I cannot get her a tourist visa(this makes me real angry but that's another story). I don't think she will like it here that much when she arrives. I am from the midwest and the weather here is miserable, cloudy and cold. I notice a lot of guys are from exciting, warm places like California and Hawaii. Unfortunately, I'm not. I notice that many Americans around me don't travel *particularly* much. We have a lot of rednecks and country bumpkins around here. A hot, young Thai girl like my wife will stick out here like a sore thumb and will attract all kinds of unwanted attention from other men!! There is not much Thai food or other Thai people around here. I have not seen ANY other men around here with foreign women(not too unusual since most Americans don't travel a great deal). How will she adapt? Will she want to go back home? This is a huge question!

F8rst i would ask has she travelled abroad in the passed?

If i was in your position I would say take her over for a shorter visit first a few weeks. Then travel around a little in the US before going back to Thailand then she can digest her impressions and will probably have a more positive impression than if she stays in one place too long. And won't miss home too much...how she reacts to it depends on what happends of course but the lack of other Thai people and lack of thaifood in your area can be an issue..

[dannyspurs]

While we live in New York now, I brought my wife to Michigan when she first moved to the US. She had big-time culture and weather shock at first. She stared out the window for an hour the first time it snowed, and she had trouble grasping the idea that it could be sunny and freezing cold at the same time. But she came to love living here, to the point that I'm probably more willing to move to Thailand right now than she is.

From my experience, biggest keys to adjusting: 1. Find out if there are any Thai people living nearby. You may be surprised. 2. Find out where you can find ingredients for making Thai food. In Michigan, we could find many things in Vietnamese stores or Chinese stores. 3. Pay for an internet stream of Thai TV.

There's no guarantee your wife will adjust, but don't simply assume she won't. My wife and I have met many other Thais who live here and love it.

[ToddinChonburi]

Well you did not answer anyones ? to you so you must not be very serious,

If you go to work and leave her at home all day this will be a disaster. She will love the visit but but the family ties are very strong, it is amazing how important family is to them. Plan on moving mom and dad with her. good luck !!

[SpokaneAl]

If she does not speak English, language will be a big deal. It will always be a challenge for both you and her to fit in among other couples. With Thai wives we live a bit with one foot in each country and culture and always will. It is not bad or good - after 39 years of marriage with the vast majority of our time in the US we have found that that is just a fact of life.

We spend much of those years with me in the military which allowed access to other Thai ladies and travel and living in a variety of locations. However, for the past twenty years we have been pure civilians living in the same city.

People are people - some will not be interested in making the effort to become friends and communicate with you and your wife and many others will not.

So yes, your wife arrives with some preconceived notions about the US of course - and some of those are correct and some are not -the result - massive culture shock. Understanding, going with the flow, and accepting that each of you possess habits that irritate the hell out of the other are a key. These first couple of years in this strange place called the USA will make or break your relationship.

P.S. In regard to the cold - get her good, cold weather clothes including long underwear, a good stout coat and excellent, robust winter boots. If you allow fashion be the main priority she will be constantly cold. Scarves, head coverings and gloves are essential - you are the expert in this area - she has no experience dealing with the cold - Thais tend to think that a few cool days are as bad as it gets - so make sure that she has the right clothes. Get her out of those flip flops - if your feet are cold the rest of your body is cold. Good socks and slippers for around the house are essential.

Good luck to the both of you.

Edited September 15, 2014 by SpokaneAl

[Card]

BTDT, locate thai food, thai videos, and keep the humor level up. Chokdee

I think the main issue for Thais abroad with their spouses is boredom and missing family, friends and food in Thailand. From the sound of your place, I will give her about 3 months if she hangs on with gritted teeth. Don't expect her to stay much longer unless you are prepared to move somewhere where there is a sizable Thai community and she can take regular trips back home. A job in a Thai restaurant or a local Thai temple would help if that's possible.

[Rick Sukstorf]

My wife wasn't cultured shocked moving from Udon Thani.To the States. And I lived in Las Vegas. But now she thinks the whole U.S. is like Vegas.

[Honkeydog]

Well on the positive side most Thai have never seen snow and you are sure to get some there so she should enjoy that. Take her to "play ski"? Then you can travel around to show her your area and surely there are Thai restaurants somewhere near you. Take her to explore! It is a start,If you have a computer she can watch all the Thai soaps when you are gone. Don't listen to all the negative stuff here!! Have Sanuk,