Please please help

[fireroksy]

I'm not the kind of person who is comfortable asking for any help, have always been an independant resourfull lady so putting this post on here is not easy for me.

At this moment though I've run out of the ideas and the resources, so any help and suggestions are welcome.

I am Ukraine borne British citizen, married to Burmese man. Both of us are in Phuket at the moment.

We have met on the lovely island Koh Tao, where I was working as a manager of a dive school and resort and he was driving a long tail boat. He lived in Thailand for 7 years and I have been here 2 years.

After being together for a while, we've decided to travel to his homeland to get legally married and hopefully settle down.

As many burmese, my husband is really poor. By poor mean a family that has no more than a small bamboo sort of "house" , with two pots, couple of bowls, where the whole family sleeps at night close to each other like sardines in the tin. All the possessions they have will easily fit in a rice bag. The poverty did not scare me though, I am myself from a poor family. Have travelled a lot and very familiar with poverty. I have a great man for a husband, who loves me and that what matters. Besides, I had enough money that I've earned working in hospitality and entertainment business in UK , to build a home and settle down.

Well, we had left Koh Tao for Burma.

That's where our troubles started.

It was a long chain of unfortunate events, with only but one good thing, we have managed to get legal marriage certificate in Burma. Many did not succeed and do belive it's not possible, it is possible, not easy though.

Soon after arrival to Burma we've got a food poisoning. My husband got better in a few days but it left me ill for over 7 month. I've got so weak that I could hardly walk. My husband was by my side fanning me, there is no electricity, building fire and cooking, there is no gas, washing me etc.

Needless to say we did not work.

We where reassured by the local government that I will be able to stay in the country with my husband so we've paid some money to the local immigration, bought a bit of land and hired local builders to builds a house, I have designed it and made the drawings.

Few month later, our house is half ready, there happened some changes at the goverment and we had a messenger. We were told that I had to leave the country and also have a massive overstay fee.

We had to abandon our home project and head for the capital.

By that time we were short on cash. The good news, I started feeling better and got pregnant. We've started a process for a British visa application for my huband. Soon after, I had an accident and miscarried. My husband got refused the visa.

Staying in burmese capital as a foreigner is very expensive, even if you eat at the road side and sleep in filthy rooms with mise crawling over you at night, the money disappeared fast.

My passport had only 4 month validity left, so no chance now to apply for renewal from abroad, I had only enough money for 2 plane tickets. I had to go to UK.

At the airport I was stopped by the immigration and detained with the explanation that there is a problem with my visa. A week ago at the the head quarters, after making a payment, I was reassured that all is fine.

I've missed my plane. After long negotiations I was told that I need to get another stamp in my passport and pay an overstay fee (another one? ). We had to borrow money from a local monastery for the overstay fee, my husband has some connections with a monastery as his was a monk in the past. We had to get another plane ticket.

I've arrived to UK with no money, my husband was left waiting for me at the monastery.

Back in UK I had some money left with my business partner and some personal possessions in a friend's storage. No place to stay, I used to rent and no family.

Very soon I've discovered that my business partner had used my savings becouse he have had a baby a money were tight. He had no way of repaying it.

With a help of a few old and some new friends, some put me up some offered a meal, I've managed to sell some of my possessions to raise some money. I had very limited communication with my husband, it is very difficult to get in touch with Burma from outside, not to mention that it is very expensive.

After I've raised enough money I went back to Burma. My husband managed to earn enough to pay back the monastery.

In that time there where some new changes to the law in Burma.

We were told that I could apply for a resident visa for a fee of 1000$, after we have been married for over 2 years. Till than I will have to reapply for a visa every 3 month. With the cost of the visa , the frequent travel to the capital from the Rakhine state which is very difficult and expensive, we simply could not afford it. An average wage in my husbands village is 2$ a day.

We have decided to traveled back to Thailand and look for work.

Applied for a new international passport for my husband. Not easy but got it. Most burmeese are crossing border illegally and then get a temporary burmeese passport in Thailand. This is how my husband came to Thailand first time, the reason why he got refused UK visa. Now, he is married to a foreiner, we had to do everything properly.

We headed strait for Phuket. We belive that it will be the easiest place to find work for both of us. His 7 years experience of working in Thailand and my experience in hospitality, entertainment and food industry. My knowledge of Russian, Ukrainian, Persian languages we be lived would be a bonus in Phuket.

Soon upon arrival we discover that I am expecting again and immediately after that I fall unwell with extremely high fewer etc.

Pregnancy did continue as normal though.

We started our search for work, of course I've realised that trying to get a work permit while pregnant is not an easy business. We were really scared. We had not enough money for the baby hospital fees etc.etc, if my husband only worked.

My pregnancy did not go on too well, I knew that something was not right. At 12 weeks went to the hospital for a scan. What a horror, the baby in the womb was long dead while the pregnancy continued, must have happened at the time when I had the fewer.

Was admitted immediately for an operation. It ended up costing more than the childbirth would.

We've lost the baby, the money and 3 month of job search.

Now we live in cheap room in Patong. My husbands 2 month tourist visa has run out, he can not extend it. He has no trouble finding job though, earning about 400 a day. My visa extention will end in a few weeks. I only have enough money to apply for one more tourist visa, will be going to Penang. What are we to do after that, no idea. I could not find a job yet. At most places I went, I was told that they do not hire foreigners, or it's low season, bad economic situation, no tourists or they are happy to have me but can not help with work permit. I had no trouble applying for permit before.

After a long time of, as we see it, simply bad luck, we are left with no way of supporting ourself. Luck of money means no transport, limited access to internet etc.etc, all of which makes the job serch lot harder.

All we have left is our battered suitcases with some closing, my computer, a few baht and ourselfs. Two people in a forein country, with no country where we can live together. Nowhere to go.

What are we to do?

Please, any useful suggestions or help will be gretfuly welcome.

[Costas2008]

I'm really sorry, that I can't offer you any advice on this, but I was greatly affected by your story.

If you have a bank account in Thailand, please PM me with the details.

I hope this is not a scam and it is for real.

Wish you and your husband Good Luck.

[transam]

I'm really sorry, that I can't offer you any advice on this, but I was greatly affected by your story.

If you have a bank account in Thailand, please PM me with the details.

I hope this is not a scam and it is for real.

Wish you and your husband Good Luck.

Can I give you mine too Coss........?............

[hansgruber]

I don't even know where to start.

Ive read that wall of text twice now and still can't make full sense of your situation.

Sounds like a nightmare.

Firstly, does your husband have any skills?

I actually know a villa owner who is looking for a live in maid/cook and a gardener/handyman couple.

Any credentials?

[Rod Wallop]

Hmm.

[Seligne2]

Start on the road back with the one thing you can control: your fertility. Forget about getting pregnant until you gain some stability.

Sounds like your husband should take just about any job he can get for the time being to buy some time so you can hit the pavement looking for a job. Once you are established in something he can look to better his position.

You lived in Ko Tao. Where are all of your Ko Tao friends? Why would you not try to work there as you seem to have been relatively successful there.

[Denim]

With respect , I would say that what you really need is not a temporary fix but a long term strategy. A quick fix might help you for 6 months but in the end what you really need is cash and long term stability. In order to get these things you are going to have to do what a lot of westerners married to Thai women have to do. This could mean returning to Europe , finding regular tax paying employment and some kind of accommodation. In the meantime your husband should try to stay in Thailand as legally as possible and look after himself while you save your money. At least if he is in Thailand you can call each other face to face using Skype.

After a year or two , if you have saved enough and have a regular home and steady employment you can then have your husband try to join you with you acting as sponser.

If you both continue trying to improve your situation whilst staying together in Thailand you are only delaying more problems that will continue to come your way.

[NamKangMan]

You are doing better than the people living in Donestk at the moment.

[beechbum]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

You are doing better than the people living in Donestk at the moment.

Probably better sticking to the nothing nice to say then don't say anything rule.

[jerojero]

Please post a longer diatribe. We all want to read a novel.

Edited April 8, 2015 by jerojero

[samsensam]

With respect , I would say that what you really need is not a temporary fix but a long term strategy. A quick fix might help you for 6 months but in the end what you really need is cash and long term stability. In order to get these things you are going to have to do what a lot of westerners married to Thai women have to do. This could mean returning to Europe , finding regular tax paying employment and some kind of accommodation. In the meantime your husband should try to stay in Thailand as legally as possible and look after himself while you save your money. At least if he is in Thailand you can call each other face to face using Skype.

After a year or two , if you have saved enough and have a regular home and steady employment you can then have your husband try to join you with you acting as sponser.

If you both continue trying to improve your situation whilst staying together in Thailand you are only delaying more problems that will continue to come your way.

agree, you need a long term plan; gety ourself back to the UK, work hard and save for a couple of years - look at it as an investment in your future - you will be able send money to support your husband - he can find work here, thai business owners i know are crying out for hard working, reliable staff who will not steal (!)

when you have enough money saved return to thailand or look into taking your husband to the UK

[keestha]

With respect , I would say that what you really need is not a temporary fix but a long term strategy. A quick fix might help you for 6 months but in the end what you really need is cash and long term stability. In order to get these things you are going to have to do what a lot of westerners married to Thai women have to do. This could mean returning to Europe , finding regular tax paying employment and some kind of accommodation. In the meantime your husband should try to stay in Thailand as legally as possible and look after himself while you save your money. At least if he is in Thailand you can call each other face to face using Skype.

After a year or two , if you have saved enough and have a regular home and steady employment you can then have your husband try to join you with you acting as sponser.

If you both continue trying to improve your situation whilst staying together in Thailand you are only delaying more problems that will continue to come your way.

Makes sense.

Plan B: Being a young western woman who even has some working experience in Thailand, you might be able to find hotel work in Phuket/Khao Lak/Krabi, most likely as a "guest relations officer", in other words reception work. Make a resume and present yourself at the big hotels, starting with the ones belonging to international chains. Two young German women I know found work that way, salary about 30.000 Baht/month.

Your husband should try to get a work permit for Phuket/Phangnga/Krabi or whatever other Thai province you might find a job.

Assuming your story is genuine (be prepared for people to question this, if they allow this thread to run), I wish you good luck.

Kees.

[NamKangMan]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

You are doing better than the people living in Donestk at the moment.

Probably better sticking to the nothing nice to say then don't say anything rule.

That was nice, for me.

[racyrick]

Of course everyone is skeptical when they read these kind of stories, but sometimes they are true and my heart goes out to these people, if true.

Before people assume all these stories are are a hoax, please do not judge and if you want or can help people in these situations, why don't you meet them in person and then pass judgement. If not, just remain silent.

There is a word-COMPASSION-please look up the definition for all you fortunate people and hope you are never in this situation.

[hansgruber]

Well they can't be in that dire need if she can't post some sort of replies to her thread.

Also, try some contraception until you get your life together as it seems to have been a hindrance twice.

[DLock]

I feel for your situation.

But I agree with the other posters. Get back to Europe and get a real job, or 2 jobs, and save for the future. Small sacrifice to have a future.

Trying to survive in Phuket, with little prospect of a job that pays enough to more than exist for now, is not a well thought out plan at all.

And do not even consider having a baby. You think it's difficult now...a baby with multiply that tenfold.

Food poisoning for 7 months? You may want to go get some medical tests. That's not normal.

Good luck.

[fireroksy]

Well they can't be in that dire need if she can't post some sort of replies to her thread.

Also, try some contraception until you get your life together as it seems to have been a hindrance twice.

[fireroksy]

Thanks a lot for your reply.

I did mention that my husband who is hard working and reliable ,doesn't have any problems finding a job. The trouble is, he only earns burmeese wages.

[fireroksy]

Well they can't be in that dire need if she can't post some sort of replies to her thread.

Also, try some contraception until you get your life together as it seems to have been a hindrance twice.

The only reason I was not replying is becouse I do not have Internet. I have mentioned this in my post.

The use of Internet cost me a drink or a meal in the restaurant, with I can not really afford, we normally eat street food to save money.

About contraception.

Of course I am aware of it.

I have been married and divorce long time ago. I have a 20 year old daughter. I have been using contraception for the last 20 ears.

I am 39 years old now. My husband do not have any children, I was his first woman. For burmese not having children is not an option, they do not have pensions. Also, people coming from were husband did, do not tend to remarry, one partner for life or not at all. Well, I did say that I had a grate man. In regards to my future pregnancies, it will be a miracle if I will ever have a baby.

[fireroksy]

Thanks for all your replies.

I was prepared for the negative staff.

Off course, my story may be hard to belive.

If some one had told me 2 years ago that this will happen to me , I would have never believed it.

Unfortunately for me this is not a story, this is real, I am real.

I will be glad to meet anyone who wants to meet face to face.

I live in Patong, Phuket.

It will be lovely to actually talk to some one for a change, instead of crying in a pillow.

[Shot]

Well they can't be in that dire need if she can't post some sort of replies to her thread.

Also, try some contraception until you get your life together as it seems to have been a hindrance twice.

The only reason I was not replying is becouse I do not have Internet. I have mentioned this in my post.

The use of Internet cost me a drink or a meal in the restaurant, with I can not really afford, we normally eat street food to save money.

About contraception.

Of course I am aware of it.

I have been married and divorce long time ago. I have a 20 year old daughter. I have been using contraception for the last 20 ears.

I am 39 years old now. My husband do not have any children, I was his first woman. For burmese not having children is not an option, they do not have pensions. Also, people coming from were husband did, do not tend to remarry, one partner for life or not at all. Well, I did say that I had a grate man. In regards to my future pregnancies, it will be a miracle if I will ever have a baby.

Most internet café type shops will offer service at 1B/minute. with minimum 10 minutes. Much cheaper than a drink or meal out.

[fireroksy]

I'm really sorry, that I can't offer you any advice on this, but I was greatly affected by your story.

If you have a bank account in Thailand, please PM me with the details.

I hope this is not a scam and it is for real.

Wish you and your husband Good Luck.

Hi, Costas2008.

You reply is greatly appreciated.

It's good to know that there are caring people out there, it gives one hope.

I do have a Thai bank account with 500 left in it but I will decline your offer though, since I feel uncomfortable to accept it.

I still have enough for one more visa run and do hope that somehow g can sort myself out. I have never in my life personally even borrowed money. Really hope it will not come to relying on such help from others.

Thanks again for your heartfelt offer, we all need more good people like you around.

[fireroksy]

I don't even know where to start.

Ive read that wall of text twice now and still can't make full sense of your situation.

Sounds like a nightmare.

Firstly, does your husband have any skills?

I actually know a villa owner who is looking for a live in maid/cook and a gardener/handyman couple.

Any credentials?

Thank you.

Well, it feels like a nightmare. I often use this word, talking to my husband. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that he always stays positive.

Please let us know more about villa owner. It might be something that can be exactly what we need.

What are the requirements?

[Seligne2]

Could any harm come to you if you posted here your Thai bank and account number? I can't think how that could be bad, but I do not have a criminal mind. I think it somewhat irresponsible of you to dump a story like this on Costas, me, and the other good folk of TV. If several of us gave you the equivalent of a 6-pack of beer, it would make merit for us (I don't find monks particularly deserving) and help you climb out of a hole.Or perhaps someone here has a better idea. Maybe you register at the Red Cross and we give to them as intermediaries?

[fireroksy]

Well they can't be in that dire need if she can't post some sort of replies to her thread.

Also, try some contraception until you get your life together as it seems to have been a hindrance twice.

The only reason I was not replying is becouse I do not have Internet. I have mentioned this in my post.

The use of Internet cost me a drink or a meal in the restaurant, with I can not really afford, we normally eat street food to save money.

About contraception.

Of course I am aware of it.

I have been married and divorce long time ago. I have a 20 year old daughter. I have been using contraception for the last 20 ears.

I am 39 years old now. My husband do not have any children, I was his first woman. For burmese not having children is not an option, they do not have pensions. Also, people coming from were husband did, do not tend to remarry, one partner for life or not at all. Well, I did say that I had a grate man. In regards to my future pregnancies, it will be a miracle if I will ever have a baby.

Most internet café type shops will offer service at 1B/minute. with minimum 10 minutes. Much cheaper than a drink or meal out.

Thanks. Will look into it.

[fireroksy]

Could any harm come to you if you posted here your Thai bank and account number? I can't think how that could be bad, but I do not have a criminal mind. I think it somewhat irresponsible of you to dump a story like this on Costas, me, and the other good folk of TV. If several of us gave you the equivalent of a 6-pack of beer, it would make merit for us (I don't find monks particularly deserving) and help you climb out of a hole.Or perhaps someone here has a better idea. Maybe you register at the Red Cross and we give to them as intermediaries?

I was not asking for money and did not meen to upset the lovely folk mm TV.

Every one wants to live good and have to worry to much but sometimes s**t happens to many of us. That is the time when you will be looking for support. I was hopping to find it here, or shall I just go and throw myself of the cliff as not to upset everyone around me?

By the way, we're is the red cross in Phuket?

[JetsetBkk]

I've only just read this. I will now upset a lot of people. It reads like a scam. Very clever, lots of sad bits about babies dying, totally unnecessary if she (he?) simply wanted advice on what to do when stuck in Patong with no money.

See? I said I'd upset some people.

[Sharp]

Jetset I concur!!

[fireroksy]

With respect , I would say that what you really need is not a temporary fix but a long term strategy. A quick fix might help you for 6 months but in the end what you really need is cash and long term stability. In order to get these things you are going to have to do what a lot of westerners married to Thai women have to do. This could mean returning to Europe , finding regular tax paying employment and some kind of accommodation. In the meantime your husband should try to stay in Thailand as legally as possible and look after himself while you save your money. At least if he is in Thailand you can call each other face to face using Skype.

After a year or two , if you have saved enough and have a regular home and steady employment you can then have your husband try to join you with you acting as sponser.

If you both continue trying to improve your situation whilst staying together in Thailand you are only delaying more problems that will continue to come your way.

Makes sense.

Plan B: Being a young western woman who even has some working experience in Thailand, you might be able to find hotel work in Phuket/Khao Lak/Krabi, most likely as a "guest relations officer", in other words reception work. Make a resume and present yourself at the big hotels, starting with the ones belonging to international chains. Two young German women I know found work that way, salary about 30.000 Baht/month.

Your husband should try to get a work permit for Phuket/Phangnga/Krabi or whatever other Thai province you might find a job.

Assuming your story is genuine (be prepared for people to question this, if they allow this thread to run), I wish you good luck.

Kees.

Thanks for your reply.

I am already looking for this kind of employment along with many others. So far unsuccessfully.

Wrong time of the year, bad economy etc.etc. The work permit seems to be the main problem, as not everyone happy or able to provide with one. Otherwise there is work.

My husband is working hard, saving money for his paperwork, although it may take long time.

[fireroksy]

Start on the road back with the one thing you can control: your fertility. Forget about getting pregnant until you gain some stability.

Sounds like your husband should take just about any job he can get for the time being to buy some time so you can hit the pavement looking for a job. Once you are established in something he can look to better his position.

You lived in Ko Tao. Where are all of your Ko Tao friends? Why would you not try to work there as you seem to have been relatively successful there.

Hi.

Thanks for your suggestion.

My husband is already doing exactly that.

As for Koh Tao, I have enquired, not much work there.

Most of farang do not stay there long, all my friends are long left. My employer has a new employee in my place.