Do You Live In A Thai Village Full Time

[SIamYank]

I wake up about 5 am when the wife does, have some fun, and then go promptly back to sleep until 10 am.

At 10:02 my mother inlaw yells at my wife for her to get me coffee.

At 10:04 my mother inlaw informs me that she is drunk and she stole two of my beers this morning. She want to know if I am angry. Yes very angry!. Why I leave two beer in Doo Yen from you!

At 10:12 my mother inlaw yells at my wife and informs her that I have finished my coffee and to get me a beer.

At 10:20 my mother inlaw yells at my wife to make me breakfast.

At 10:45 I am served a breakfast of usually either; rice soup w/pork (Khao Tom), pork chile and basil w/egg on top (Pat Gra Pow Kai Dow) , fried eggs, bacon, toast and hash browns, basic thai noodle soup (Gang Jued), or a pork hamburger with constantly evolving recipe.

At 11:30 I do start my work day on the computer.

At 13:30 I finish for the day... maybe theres a 50% chance I'll work 2-3 more hours in the evening.

13:30 to 16:30 is like free play... it could be time for reading a book lazing in a hammock, it could be cooking a bbq with whatever I find at the local market, it could be getting drunk with the local guys, it could be playing some bay-tong (thai bocci) or maybe even putting it some handyman time around the house.

At 16:45 I return and drunkenly try to work on any project that my wife was going to have the village handyman do. I want that pig gone... sh-t... I'll do it!

At 16:46 my wife tells me I am crazy and I'll hurt myself and toI should leave the project untill the drunkard handyman comes around:

At 16:47 I tell her... I'll do it myself

At 16:57 I fall to the ground with a paralyzing back spasm that forces the wife to call and ambulance. But to call an ambulance she has to first call her cousin Nok, so she can then tell her husband Nai that he should go to find her uncle Sarin, Uncle Sarin then needs to call tell the Phu Yai Baan and ask him to call me an ambulance. Phu Yai Baan is sleeping. Uncle knows Phu Yai Baan is sleeping because he was drinking at his house all day and he was blasted. Phu Yai Ban wont like to be woken. Can it wait till morning Uncle asks? No it can't wait! So Uncle calls the Ambulance to avoid waking the Phu Yai Ban. After talking to uncle Sarin the Hospital calls the Phu Yai Baan and wakes him. Phu Yai Baan is angry with Uncle. My fault! Ambulance is on its way.

At 17:00 15 relatives arrive at my 1 bedroom house.

At 17:10 10 more relatives arrive at my house.

At 17:15 The wife starts to make som tom

At 17:20 8 people I have never seen before have joined the onlookers.

At 17:21 Uncle Sarin explains that the eight people who just arrived are his brother (from a different mother), 2nd wife's cousins from Roei Et who are coming back from visiting his aunt in Baan Kruat, who they have left their newborn baby with, because they already have two other babies living with the grandparents, and the grandparents cant handle any more, so they didn't tell the grandparents about the pregnancy, and they can't take care of the kid either because they work in Bangkok too much and have no time to take care of a baby, and Lek first husband doesn't send any money, even though he still comes around to Roi Et because he has a girfriend there, but he never take the time to even visit his mama whe he come. !!!!!!! Great! Did they bring beer and popcorn!!!!! Please tell them to enjoy my agony, and don't forget to have some som tam!

At 17:25 The witch doctor arrives clad in a dirty sarong and tattoos. "Doctor Come, "Maybe don't have to go hospital" my wife proudly announces.

17:30 - 18:00 witch doctor chants, blows smoke on my back, runs a machete up and down my spine, rubs some magic ointment in to my skin and declares I will be better in five days.

18:01 Wife says " today not good day for ambulance. Yesterday was very good! Lucky day!" Of course yesterday I was not hurt in any way.... so not good day to go to hospital!

19.45 Ambulance arrives with two 40 kilo teenagers as parametics to carry me out of my house on a backboard. Of course this will not work so them men volunteer. Never mind they have been drinking beer and rice whiskey for the past 13 hours!

19:45 - 20:15 Horrible rid in the back of the ambulance screaming back spasms at every bump, twist or seam in the concrete.

20:15 Doctors have examined my xrays and declared there is absolutely nothing wrong. I should take some paracetamol and go home!

20:45 Family has arrived at the hospital room with sleeping gear, my laptop, nd lots of soda and whiskey,

5 days in hospital and they have done nothing for me accept give me pain pils a bed.

But I am better, just like the witch doctor said.

[transam]

I wake up about 5 am when the wife does, have some fun, and then go promptly back to sleep until 10 am.

At 10:02 my mother inlaw yells at my wife for her to get me coffee.

At 10:04 my mother inlaw informs me that she is drunk and she stole two of my beers this morning. She want to know if I am angry. Yes very angry!. Why I leave two beer in Doo Yen from you!

At 10:12 my mother inlaw yells at my wife and informs her that I have finished my coffee and to get me a beer.

At 10:20 my mother inlaw yells at my wife to make me breakfast.

At 10:45 I am served a breakfast of usually either; rice soup w/pork (Khao Tom), pork chile and basil w/egg on top (Pat Gra Pow Kai Dow) , fried eggs, bacon, toast and hash browns, basic thai noodle soup (Gang Jued), or a pork hamburger with constantly evolving recipe.

At 11:30 I do start my work day on the computer.

At 13:30 I finish for the day... maybe theres a 50% chance I'll work 2-3 more hours in the evening.

13:30 to 16:30 is like free play... it could be time for reading a book lazing in a hammock, it could be cooking a bbq with whatever I find at the local market, it could be getting drunk with the local guys, it could be playing some bay-tong (thai bocci) or maybe even putting it some handyman time around the house.

At 16:45 I return and drunkenly try to work on any project that my wife was going to have the village handyman do. I want that pig gone... sh-t... I'll do it!

At 16:46 my wife tells me I am crazy and I'll hurt myself and toI should leave the project untill the drunkard handyman comes around:

At 16:47 I tell her... I'll do it myself

At 16:57 I fall to the ground with a paralyzing back spasm that forces the wife to call and ambulance. But to call an ambulance she has to first call her cousin Nok, so she can then tell her husband Nai that he should go to find her uncle Sarin, Uncle Sarin then needs to call tell the Phu Yai Baan and ask him to call me an ambulance. Phu Yai Baan is sleeping. Uncle knows Phu Yai Baan is sleeping because he was drinking at his house all day and he was blasted. Phu Yai Ban wont like to be woken. Can it wait till morning Uncle asks? No it can't wait! So Uncle calls the Ambulance to avoid waking the Phu Yai Ban. After talking to uncle Sarin the Hospital calls the Phu Yai Baan and wakes him. Phu Yai Baan is angry with Uncle. My fault! Ambulance is on its way.

At 17:00 15 relatives arrive at my 1 bedroom house.

At 17:10 10 more relatives arrive at my house.

At 17:15 The wife starts to make som tom

At 17:20 8 people I have never seen before have joined the onlookers.

At 17:21 Uncle Sarin explains that the eight people who just arrived are his brother (from a different mother), 2nd wife's cousins from Roei Et who are coming back from visiting his aunt in Baan Kruat, who they have left their newborn baby with, because they already have two other babies living with the grandparents, and the grandparents cant handle any more, so they didn't tell the grandparents about the pregnancy, and they can't take care of the kid either because they work in Bangkok too much and have no time to take care of a baby, and Lek first husband doesn't send any money, even though he still comes around to Roi Et because he has a girfriend there, but he never take the time to even visit his mama whe he come. !!!!!!! Great! Did they bring beer and popcorn!!!!! Please tell them to enjoy my agony, and don't forget to have some som tam!

At 17:25 The witch doctor arrives clad in a dirty sarong and tattoos. "Doctor Come, "Maybe don't have to go hospital" my wife proudly announces.

17:30 - 18:00 witch doctor chants, blows smoke on my back, runs a machete up and down my spine, rubs some magic ointment in to my skin and declares I will be better in five days.

18:01 Wife says " today not good day for ambulance. Yesterday was very good! Lucky day!" Of course yesterday I was not hurt in any way.... so not good day to go to hospital!

19.45 Ambulance arrives with two 40 kilo teenagers as parametics to carry me out of my house on a backboard. Of course this will not work so them men volunteer. Never mind they have been drinking beer and rice whiskey for the past 13 hours!

19:45 - 20:15 Horrible rid in the back of the ambulance screaming back spasms at every bump, twist or seam in the concrete.

20:15 Doctors have examined my xrays and declared there is absolutely nothing wrong. I should take some paracetamol and go home!

20:45 Family has arrived at the hospital room with sleeping gear, my laptop, nd lots of soda and whiskey,

5 days in hospital and they have done nothing for me accept give me pain pils a bed.

But I am better, just like the witch doctor said.

Just a normal day, eh.

[jamescollister]

I wake up about 5 am when the wife does, have some fun, and then go promptly back to sleep until 10 am.

At 10:02 my mother inlaw yells at my wife for her to get me coffee.

At 10:04 my mother inlaw informs me that she is drunk and she stole two of my beers this morning. She want to know if I am angry. Yes very angry!. Why I leave two beer in Doo Yen from you!

At 10:12 my mother inlaw yells at my wife and informs her that I have finished my coffee and to get me a beer.

At 10:20 my mother inlaw yells at my wife to make me breakfast.

At 10:45 I am served a breakfast of usually either; rice soup w/pork (Khao Tom), pork chile and basil w/egg on top (Pat Gra Pow Kai Dow) , fried eggs, bacon, toast and hash browns, basic thai noodle soup (Gang Jued), or a pork hamburger with constantly evolving recipe.

At 11:30 I do start my work day on the computer.

At 13:30 I finish for the day... maybe theres a 50% chance I'll work 2-3 more hours in the evening.

13:30 to 16:30 is like free play... it could be time for reading a book lazing in a hammock, it could be cooking a bbq with whatever I find at the local market, it could be getting drunk with the local guys, it could be playing some bay-tong (thai bocci) or maybe even putting it some handyman time around the house.

At 16:45 I return and drunkenly try to work on any project that my wife was going to have the village handyman do. I want that pig gone... sh-t... I'll do it!

At 16:46 my wife tells me I am crazy and I'll hurt myself and toI should leave the project untill the drunkard handyman comes around:

At 16:47 I tell her... I'll do it myself

At 16:57 I fall to the ground with a paralyzing back spasm that forces the wife to call and ambulance. But to call an ambulance she has to first call her cousin Nok, so she can then tell her husband Nai that he should go to find her uncle Sarin, Uncle Sarin then needs to call tell the Phu Yai Baan and ask him to call me an ambulance. Phu Yai Baan is sleeping. Uncle knows Phu Yai Baan is sleeping because he was drinking at his house all day and he was blasted. Phu Yai Ban wont like to be woken. Can it wait till morning Uncle asks? No it can't wait! So Uncle calls the Ambulance to avoid waking the Phu Yai Ban. After talking to uncle Sarin the Hospital calls the Phu Yai Baan and wakes him. Phu Yai Baan is angry with Uncle. My fault! Ambulance is on its way.

At 17:00 15 relatives arrive at my 1 bedroom house.

At 17:10 10 more relatives arrive at my house.

At 17:15 The wife starts to make som tom

At 17:20 8 people I have never seen before have joined the onlookers.

At 17:21 Uncle Sarin explains that the eight people who just arrived are his brother (from a different mother), 2nd wife's cousins from Roei Et who are coming back from visiting his aunt in Baan Kruat, who they have left their newborn baby with, because they already have two other babies living with the grandparents, and the grandparents cant handle any more, so they didn't tell the grandparents about the pregnancy, and they can't take care of the kid either because they work in Bangkok too much and have no time to take care of a baby, and Lek first husband doesn't send any money, even though he still comes around to Roi Et because he has a girfriend there, but he never take the time to even visit his mama whe he come. !!!!!!! Great! Did they bring beer and popcorn!!!!! Please tell them to enjoy my agony, and don't forget to have some som tam!

At 17:25 The witch doctor arrives clad in a dirty sarong and tattoos. "Doctor Come, "Maybe don't have to go hospital" my wife proudly announces.

17:30 - 18:00 witch doctor chants, blows smoke on my back, runs a machete up and down my spine, rubs some magic ointment in to my skin and declares I will be better in five days.

18:01 Wife says " today not good day for ambulance. Yesterday was very good! Lucky day!" Of course yesterday I was not hurt in any way.... so not good day to go to hospital!

19.45 Ambulance arrives with two 40 kilo teenagers as parametics to carry me out of my house on a backboard. Of course this will not work so them men volunteer. Never mind they have been drinking beer and rice whiskey for the past 13 hours!

19:45 - 20:15 Horrible rid in the back of the ambulance screaming back spasms at every bump, twist or seam in the concrete.

20:15 Doctors have examined my xrays and declared there is absolutely nothing wrong. I should take some paracetamol and go home!

20:45 Family has arrived at the hospital room with sleeping gear, my laptop, nd lots of soda and whiskey,

5 days in hospital and they have done nothing for me accept give me pain pils a bed.

But I am better, just like the witch doctor said.

Just a normal day, eh.

Sounds about average, except I wouldn't bother with the hospital. Witch doctor knows best. Jim

[bergen]

Using the witch doc was not so good for two of my friends.............

The started proper treament in hospital too late and died.

[villagefarang]

I live more than 50k from Chiang Rai, on the fringe of a small rice farming village. While I find some of these stories humorous and entertaining they also have me questioning whether I live on the same planet. One would hope posters are just playing up the negative side of things for their entertainment value.

I prefer to focus on the positive and find beauty in the most mundane aspects of village life. From toiling in the fields(not my toiling), to sunsets by the pond I prefer to focus on the physical beauty of my surrounding than on the often messy circumstances of peoples personal lives. I find life in our village much to my liking.

[edwinclapham]

^^^ Stunning photos, this is the Thailand that I know and love.

[dezy1801]

Nice picturesvillagefarang just gave me the idea to upload these one. You just dont get sunrise and sunsets like this in the city.

[SIamYank]

Using the witch doc was not so good for two of my friends.............

The started proper treament in hospital too late and died.

Yes but in this case the witch doctor was right and the medical doctors were wrong. I am not saying you should completely rely on traditional medical beliefs. My personal attitude would be to do anything and everything that has any chance of improving your situation.

That said I often take part in rituals that I personally have no belief in, but the important part is that my wife and family believe in them, so their comfort level is increased and it adds to the general sabai-ness of the whole situation and family. And even if there is no direct "magical" result, will be a karmic result because the network of personal relationships that are attached to me is stronger.

[rct99q]

Normal day starts at 6:00am as the wife gets up and irons our sons and my clothes for school (son = student, me = teacher), back to sleep again till 7:00am. Wake up again to get ready for work. Out the door by 7:45am. Arrive at work by 8;00am and ready for first class by 9:00am. Usually home by 3:00pm for a quick nap before dinner. Wife after a quick snooze gets up at 8:00am to head off to work and usually comes home around 4:00pm. A little afternoon nap then off to the market to pick up items for the evening meal. Start cooking dinner around 7:00pm, eat around 8;00pm, clean up, a bit of a chat with the family, and off to bed around 9:00pm. Shower, T.V. and finally asleep by 10:00pm. pretty boring but not much different to my family and friends back home in Canada.

Have been living here for 3 years to a wonderful Thai woman (yes there are some, in fact many) who truly enjoys living with a Farang.

[StevenHeidbriderSr]

Wow I really feel guilty reading some of the posts here as it seems everyone gets up from bed between 5:30 and 8:00 AM and I cant seem to scrape myself out til almost 1PM. Of course i am up watching the market or other news, and tv shows til 3AM or 4 AM most days. I think i am still on East Coast Time to some extent...

My day ussually consists of eating,reading,watching tv, and some yard and house work.

I do notice that most of the other Farangs i see dont seem to be too friendly or seem not to want to strike up a friendship. I will say hello to someone in the Nong Khai Tesco and am lucky if i get a grunt LOL Of course they could be Non English speaking Farangs as far as i would know.

I am very Thankful for my wife's family as the sole reason we moved here after 25 years of marriage is my wife's health was failing and she needed more attention than i could give trying to work full time and care for her alone. Her family have been a God send as they look after her like she is the Family Matriarc.

We have a small house that is just big enough for the two of us with plans to extend it out to another two bedrooms with ensuite in hopes that children and grand children will visit. The house sits on about 3/4 Rai which is plenty for us and is much larger than our acreage in the states.

We are now awaiting delivery of our new car which i am very much looking forward to. No more paying for alternate transportation to and from Dr,shopping, etc.. Once we get the car I will feel that i have replaced almost everything i gave to Charity or sold in the US before our move.

I am very glad that we made the move and retired early. Oh did i mention i retired early? I meant to wait until 2016 when i hit 62 but the economy and health moved the date up.

I guess my biggest obstacle of life in the village is my very limited knowledge of how to speak Thai and it doesnt help when all the people around me speak Issan NOT Thai LOL

I have found the Thai people most helpful and honest in thier dealings with me. I also feel its a priveledge to be here.

Thanks for the opportunity to write this.

Steve

[StevenHeidbriderSr]

I wake up about 5 am when the wife does, have some fun, and then go promptly back to sleep until 10 am.

At 10:02 my mother inlaw yells at my wife for her to get me coffee.

At 10:04 my mother inlaw informs me that she is drunk and she stole two of my beers this morning. She want to know if I am angry. Yes very angry!. Why I leave two beer in Doo Yen from you!

At 10:12 my mother inlaw yells at my wife and informs her that I have finished my coffee and to get me a beer.

At 10:20 my mother inlaw yells at my wife to make me breakfast.

At 10:45 I am served a breakfast of usually either; rice soup w/pork (Khao Tom), pork chile and basil w/egg on top (Pat Gra Pow Kai Dow) , fried eggs, bacon, toast and hash browns, basic thai noodle soup (Gang Jued), or a pork hamburger with constantly evolving recipe.

At 11:30 I do start my work day on the computer.

At 13:30 I finish for the day... maybe theres a 50% chance I'll work 2-3 more hours in the evening.

13:30 to 16:30 is like free play... it could be time for reading a book lazing in a hammock, it could be cooking a bbq with whatever I find at the local market, it could be getting drunk with the local guys, it could be playing some bay-tong (thai bocci) or maybe even putting it some handyman time around the house.

At 16:45 I return and drunkenly try to work on any project that my wife was going to have the village handyman do. I want that pig gone... sh-t... I'll do it!

At 16:46 my wife tells me I am crazy and I'll hurt myself and toI should leave the project untill the drunkard handyman comes around:

At 16:47 I tell her... I'll do it myself

At 16:57 I fall to the ground with a paralyzing back spasm that forces the wife to call and ambulance. But to call an ambulance she has to first call her cousin Nok, so she can then tell her husband Nai that he should go to find her uncle Sarin, Uncle Sarin then needs to call tell the Phu Yai Baan and ask him to call me an ambulance. Phu Yai Baan is sleeping. Uncle knows Phu Yai Baan is sleeping because he was drinking at his house all day and he was blasted. Phu Yai Ban wont like to be woken. Can it wait till morning Uncle asks? No it can't wait! So Uncle calls the Ambulance to avoid waking the Phu Yai Ban. After talking to uncle Sarin the Hospital calls the Phu Yai Baan and wakes him. Phu Yai Baan is angry with Uncle. My fault! Ambulance is on its way.

At 17:00 15 relatives arrive at my 1 bedroom house.

At 17:10 10 more relatives arrive at my house.

At 17:15 The wife starts to make som tom

At 17:20 8 people I have never seen before have joined the onlookers.

At 17:21 Uncle Sarin explains that the eight people who just arrived are his brother (from a different mother), 2nd wife's cousins from Roei Et who are coming back from visiting his aunt in Baan Kruat, who they have left their newborn baby with, because they already have two other babies living with the grandparents, and the grandparents cant handle any more, so they didn't tell the grandparents about the pregnancy, and they can't take care of the kid either because they work in Bangkok too much and have no time to take care of a baby, and Lek first husband doesn't send any money, even though he still comes around to Roi Et because he has a girfriend there, but he never take the time to even visit his mama whe he come. !!!!!!! Great! Did they bring beer and popcorn!!!!! Please tell them to enjoy my agony, and don't forget to have some som tam!

At 17:25 The witch doctor arrives clad in a dirty sarong and tattoos. "Doctor Come, "Maybe don't have to go hospital" my wife proudly announces.

17:30 - 18:00 witch doctor chants, blows smoke on my back, runs a machete up and down my spine, rubs some magic ointment in to my skin and declares I will be better in five days.

18:01 Wife says " today not good day for ambulance. Yesterday was very good! Lucky day!" Of course yesterday I was not hurt in any way.... so not good day to go to hospital!

19.45 Ambulance arrives with two 40 kilo teenagers as parametics to carry me out of my house on a backboard. Of course this will not work so them men volunteer. Never mind they have been drinking beer and rice whiskey for the past 13 hours!

19:45 - 20:15 Horrible rid in the back of the ambulance screaming back spasms at every bump, twist or seam in the concrete.

20:15 Doctors have examined my xrays and declared there is absolutely nothing wrong. I should take some paracetamol and go home!

20:45 Family has arrived at the hospital room with sleeping gear, my laptop, nd lots of soda and whiskey,

5 days in hospital and they have done nothing for me accept give me pain pils a bed.

But I am better, just like the witch doctor said.

Just a normal day, eh.

Sounds about average, except I wouldn't bother with the hospital. Witch doctor knows best. Jim

I really liked your sense of humor. At least i hope you meant it to be funny

[m3dave]

Hi Guys

Usually mosquitos like me

So during the rainy season I put on mosquito repellent in the morning before going outside, and once again in the evening, if staying out after dark.

It does'nt matter where I am in this part of the world.

My house have mosquito screens on all windows and doors, so inside the house is no ploblem!

Better safe than sorry.

Hi Guys

When in Thailand I tend to rise early, remove still warm bread from bread making machine cut a couple of thick slices and coat liberally with marmite.

I then don my silk dressing gown and panama hat (have reputation to maintain as tame, harmless, crazy local farang) and stroll around garden eating marmite bread.

This has many benefits (1) entertains locals (2) fends off mossies! apparently they do not like yeast and the marmite smell that exudes from our skin after eating. (Imperceptible to humans) (3) enables me to feed fish and size up potential victim for lunch. (4) check on any work that needs doing in garden.

I then retire back to the house making several random, irrational gestures to nothing in particular for the benefit of any locals still bored enough to be hanging around.

Now for a cup of coffee or fresh squeezed orange juice whilst I plan my foray to the newagent for the Bangkok post!

God, I do love Thailand

TBWG

Hi as topic is slipping down the page so I feel obliged to continue with my day............

Bangkok Post, sit up and beg Thai style Mary Poppins bike or Motocy? flip 5 baht coin, motocy it is, helmet direction? flip coin again. I lose therefore helmet on back to front, this combined with the fact that I am wearing odd knee length socks with shorts should help maintain my credibility as crazy farang.

So off to papershop, however sidetracked by visit to bakers, arrive in a cloud of dust revving motocy and generally making a lot of noise, this has 2 benefits (1) lets baker run and hide in back of shop (2) enables him to send out attractive teenage daughter to serve me. Now ensues a daily ritual where I pretend not to know the price of 4 banana bread and complain about extortionate price being demanded from gullible farang, threaten to take business elsewhere (difficult because he is only baker in town) As no crowd has appeared I decide to move on after making my purchase, much to the disappointment of attractive teenage daughter who was hoping for more entertainment'

Right so its off to the papershop....arrive in cloud of dust, noise etc do you detect a theme here? However owner of papershop is having none of it and keeps attractive daughters out of sight, he also takes the wind out of my sails by berating the lackadaisical attitude of the Bangkok bus operator who brings the papers to town. But he and I both know that I deliberately arrive 5 minutes before the bus so that I can have a whinge and chat to his attractive daughters. my ploy however has failed miserably and I have time to kill.

I know a haircut! So I make my way to the only barber left in town from which I am not banned. Not sure of his attractive daughter status. Anyway I tell him I want a Piers Brosnan look alike haircut, how was I to know he was deaf! 5 minutes later I look like a demented badger who has come off worse from an argument with a strimmer. Several attractive daughters now appear and collapse in a heap giggling and pointing. Why these local barbers cannot convert my 6 dozen strands of hair into an 007 lookalike I will never know. Thats Brosnan not Connery already have his hairstyle!!!

So now decide to pay a visit to the market but despite doing 3 circuits only get 2 marriage proposals and one comittment of undying love! not a very good tally and put it down to my bad hair day!! I do notice some turtles that are being sold for the pot and decide to rescue them at some vastly inflated gullible farang price. So its straight to he river to give them their freedom until the next time.

Feeling good on the way home I decide to give the pla nin a break and buy a couple dozen satay sticks and a half gallon polythene bag of lemon tea for lunch.

When I get back to the house word has got around about the farangs haircut and a crowd of locals has gathered for the entertainment! When I remove helmet there are hoots of laughter and several derisive comments and I swear a couple of them are peeing themselves.

But so what I have my public to think of and standards to maintain.

Besides I have freed some turtles saved a pla nin from the pan.

It then occurs to me tha I still don't have my Bangkok post and what is that the wife is cooking, looks suspiciously like a pla nin!!

God I love Thailand and its still only lunchtime.

TBWG

Super stuff! please can you do a diary a week? most enjoyable, thankyou

Keep us up to date if you can!

[jimbobs1]

I wake up about 5 am when the wife does, have some fun, and then go promptly back to sleep until 10 am.

At 10:02 my mother inlaw yells at my wife for her to get me coffee.

At 10:04 my mother inlaw informs me that she is drunk and she stole two of my beers this morning. She want to know if I am angry. Yes very angry!. Why I leave two beer in Doo Yen from you!

At 10:12 my mother inlaw yells at my wife and informs her that I have finished my coffee and to get me a beer.

At 10:20 my mother inlaw yells at my wife to make me breakfast.

At 10:45 I am served a breakfast of usually either; rice soup w/pork (Khao Tom), pork chile and basil w/egg on top (Pat Gra Pow Kai Dow) , fried eggs, bacon, toast and hash browns, basic thai noodle soup (Gang Jued), or a pork hamburger with constantly evolving recipe.

At 11:30 I do start my work day on the computer.

At 13:30 I finish for the day... maybe theres a 50% chance I'll work 2-3 more hours in the evening.

13:30 to 16:30 is like free play... it could be time for reading a book lazing in a hammock, it could be cooking a bbq with whatever I find at the local market, it could be getting drunk with the local guys, it could be playing some bay-tong (thai bocci) or maybe even putting it some handyman time around the house.

At 16:45 I return and drunkenly try to work on any project that my wife was going to have the village handyman do. I want that pig gone... sh-t... I'll do it!

At 16:46 my wife tells me I am crazy and I'll hurt myself and toI should leave the project untill the drunkard handyman comes around:

At 16:47 I tell her... I'll do it myself

At 16:57 I fall to the ground with a paralyzing back spasm that forces the wife to call and ambulance. But to call an ambulance she has to first call her cousin Nok, so she can then tell her husband Nai that he should go to find her uncle Sarin, Uncle Sarin then needs to call tell the Phu Yai Baan and ask him to call me an ambulance. Phu Yai Baan is sleeping. Uncle knows Phu Yai Baan is sleeping because he was drinking at his house all day and he was blasted. Phu Yai Ban wont like to be woken. Can it wait till morning Uncle asks? No it can't wait! So Uncle calls the Ambulance to avoid waking the Phu Yai Ban. After talking to uncle Sarin the Hospital calls the Phu Yai Baan and wakes him. Phu Yai Baan is angry with Uncle. My fault! Ambulance is on its way.

At 17:00 15 relatives arrive at my 1 bedroom house.

At 17:10 10 more relatives arrive at my house.

At 17:15 The wife starts to make som tom

At 17:20 8 people I have never seen before have joined the onlookers.

At 17:21 Uncle Sarin explains that the eight people who just arrived are his brother (from a different mother), 2nd wife's cousins from Roei Et who are coming back from visiting his aunt in Baan Kruat, who they have left their newborn baby with, because they already have two other babies living with the grandparents, and the grandparents cant handle any more, so they didn't tell the grandparents about the pregnancy, and they can't take care of the kid either because they work in Bangkok too much and have no time to take care of a baby, and Lek first husband doesn't send any money, even though he still comes around to Roi Et because he has a girfriend there, but he never take the time to even visit his mama whe he come. !!!!!!! Great! Did they bring beer and popcorn!!!!! Please tell them to enjoy my agony, and don't forget to have some som tam!

At 17:25 The witch doctor arrives clad in a dirty sarong and tattoos. "Doctor Come, "Maybe don't have to go hospital" my wife proudly announces.

17:30 - 18:00 witch doctor chants, blows smoke on my back, runs a machete up and down my spine, rubs some magic ointment in to my skin and declares I will be better in five days.

18:01 Wife says " today not good day for ambulance. Yesterday was very good! Lucky day!" Of course yesterday I was not hurt in any way.... so not good day to go to hospital!

19.45 Ambulance arrives with two 40 kilo teenagers as parametics to carry me out of my house on a backboard. Of course this will not work so them men volunteer. Never mind they have been drinking beer and rice whiskey for the past 13 hours!

19:45 - 20:15 Horrible rid in the back of the ambulance screaming back spasms at every bump, twist or seam in the concrete.

20:15 Doctors have examined my xrays and declared there is absolutely nothing wrong. I should take some paracetamol and go home!

20:45 Family has arrived at the hospital room with sleeping gear, my laptop, nd lots of soda and whiskey,

5 days in hospital and they have done nothing for me accept give me pain pils a bed.

But I am better, just like the witch doctor said.

Just a normal day, eh.

Sounds about average, except I wouldn't bother with the hospital. Witch doctor knows best. Jim

I really liked your sense of humor. At least i hope you meant it to be funny

excellent very sick but true ha ha

[humblefalang]

Love it.

Did nobody turn a turtle over to see if it had the vague winning lottery numbers on its under-belly?

If you live here, you will know what I am on about

have done turtles and also some kind of frog (with baby powder spryed on the belly to increase visibility) sister in law

[Huayrat]

wake up at 11am .. sleep at midnight or later... wont allow anyone to wake me up early,, shouting, banging all will be told to f off...no animals and if a chicken happens to venture in my crib then it will be shot

[maddas]

great thread, I recently returned from a visit to Kantharalak and am planning to sell up and move there from Perth WA, gf has a rental for now and fulltime job, @ 57 and after raising 4 kids in oz its time to do what I want, language and culture are a big challenge for me so keep the posts going, cheers all Kimbo

[Issangeorge]

I wrote the following 6 years ago:"Posted 2006-09-05 22:22:10

Macb, I live in a small village 22kms. from the nearest town 6 of which is down a dirt road, and 80 kms. from a city. I usually get up around 7:30am shower and then go downstairs to eat with the family. My family consists of my Thai wife, her Mother, her younger brother and his wife and two daughters, a 5 year old and a five month old, her youngest brother, her 11-year-old grand niece and her 34-year-old cousin with her 12-year-old daughter. Yes we have a big family and I am the main means of support, but I don't mind at all. None of the brothers or cousin are lazy or drunks. It is more like having my own servants than supporting a lazy family. I have a big house and by Thai standards we are not crowded at all. I have my own big bedroom with my wife and can go there for some privacy if needed, which it never is. After eating I usually settle into my hammock and read, I love to read and this passes my time very effectively. I read books off my PDA that I download from the Internet, I also read the Bangkok Post every day and do its crossword and saduku. Most days I go out to the rice farm to check it out and am out there every day during planting and harvesting for most of the day, although I don't do any actual work, I have a hammock there as well. I usually go to town about every two to three days to check my e-mail and read the forums and get my Bangkok Post and take my wife to the market. Since my wife does not drive I spend a lot of time as her driver. We usually eat dinner around 7pm earlier in the winter and I go to bed around 8-9pm and usually read myself to sleep shortly there after. I know it sounds like a very boring life, but I quite enjoy it. Every Tuesday I meet a group of Falangs in the town for dinner and quite often get together with an Aussie mate of mine at other times during the week. Also about every two to three weeks we go to the closest city to shop at Tesco and eat by the Mekong River. I retired 3 years ago and decided I really did not want to do anything after retirement. However I recently became interested in teaching English as a second language. This summer I took a course and I am now looking for a job, but it has to be in my area so I can live at home or at least easily commute on weekends. If any body knows of a job in the south west corner of Kalasin, north east corner of Roi-et or west end of Mukdahan, please let me know. Issangeorge."

Here is an update, I did get a teaching job, actually many, but they were all a weekend comute from me and after 6 years I got tired of it, so I am happily retired again. I still have a large family living at my house. My mother-in-law died 5 years ago and my wife's cousin and her daughter moved out, but they have since been replaced with another cousin's daughter and my 12 yearold grand niece has moved out, but has been replaced with another 10 month old grand niece. Also my wige's brother has now a 3 year old son, so the house is still full. The one good change is we have gone from 5 dogs to one very good dog. Also I now have high speed internet, and I bought my wife a car so I don't have to drive her around anymore. Village life in Isaan isn't for everyone, but for me it is great and I wouldn't trade my present life for anything. Issangeorge.

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[pgs]

It's been interesting reading over the lives of people for the SIX years since this thread was started. I'm amazed it's still going - especially as there doesn't seem to have been much in the way of the usual trolling or aggression.

While the basics are much the same, they are all different.

Over the past few years, we've had a couple of deaths, a few uni grads, nephew has made sergent in the army - with 95% in his exam. The niece that caused lots of trouble as a teenager has seen the light & settled down, only a year or so off being a nurse and is buying her parents thier first house.

Watching the villages of our area grow and change each visit has been interesting. New stores, new markets, new houses. The bus to Chaiyaphum is less frequent than before. Good thing it's only 40km. There are still only a few foreigners about the place. Haven't met any of them over the years, but I know they exist. I remember seeing one in the next village once, about 7 years back. I don't recall ever seeing any tourist types though. Few in Chaiyaphum sometimes, but not near us.

My Thai is still limited - I don't pick up a lot of the tones, so I'd only understand the wrong things anyway.

Last trip we did a 'walking tour' of the village, taking photos of the old buildings and their inhabitants when possible. It's nice to have a record of what was there before the (grand)kids get the place & knock it down. As with the westerners, a lot of the oldies have some interesting stories to tell; just ask what their lives were like when they were kids. A lot of them will be happy to tell someone that wants to listen. For most of us it will be very different to what we had.

[jamescollister]

As said. village life is not for most, but once settled there is no better place to be. You are not just another person on the street, but part of the village. Small villages are big families and a family takes care of their own. It's not heaven or hell, but it's a lot better than being a nameless face on a street in a city. Jim

[DILLIGAD]

As said. village life is not for most, but once settled there is no better place to be. You are not just another person on the street, but part of the village. Small villages are big families and a family takes care of their own. It's not heaven or hell, but it's a lot better than being a nameless face on a street in a city. Jim

Well said

Its life Jim but not as we know it!

Think I've heard that before somewhere?

[cooked]

For anyone that grew up and worked in a city, village life here must be a real shock. On another thread here I was accused of living in a hovel and of being vulnerable to roaming bands of Cambodian drug fiends. The hovel is still there, serving a a store place for the farming machines and any Cambodians don't take it on themselves to drive the 8 Km from the main road under the eyes of all and sundry, to nick stuff in our village. A buffalo plus two Kubota tractors disappeared just before rice harvest from the village up on the main road. In our village someone stole half a fish, he no longer gets any jobs in the village.

What amazes me is the mixture of prude attitudes (my wife,a very intelligent lady, chats with the prostitutes, quite often when they come back from Pattaya and discover that unprotected sex isn't a good idea) and libertarianism. Some in the village ostracise her.

I experience almost every day people getting drunk, the ladies begin to shout out banana jokes and take their pick of the assembled court.

It's a mixture. I have the impression of an amoral society where you can solve everything by going to the temple and buying amulets (bit like medieval Catholicism really) accompanied by a rigid scheme of how things should be done.

I quite like it really and just do my thing.

[pgs]

@ Cooked: Their hovel, your castle. As long as you're happy, it matters not what others think.

I live in a city (Sydney) here by necessity, not by choice. I'm far happier in TH, in a little village somewhere without most of the unecessary mod-cons (emphasis on cons) of today.

[BillH52]

Great thread! Will add my experiences when I get caught up with stuff!

[billd766]

We were invited by a friend to a party for her son going into the monkhood last night. AFAIK she isn't married and has a son and daughter and lives in a small shophouse in the main village.

We got there early as it was school on Friday so we could leave early.

There was probably 40 or 50 8 person tables with coke and soda bottles, glasses etc and when we sat down somebody turned up with a bottle of Hong Thong and we had a good time. There was the usual singing and "pretty" girls up on the stage and 3 or 4 singers but it wasn't too loud. plenty of food was served and a great night was had. My son was happy as I took him down the 6km on the Honda CB 400 with lots of noise but in lower gears so I didn't go that fast.

The local BiB were out in force on 3 tables behind us trying to find the bottom of the whisky bottle. My wife and friends got an invitation to another party next friday at the local school from the wife of a Pol Lt so thats next Friday night sorted out.

My son and I went home just before 9 and he had the biggest smile I have seen in a long while after the ride home and 'er indoors strolled in after 10 mumbling things like drink, drunk, die.

She got up before 6 to get our son sorted out for school the went back and died for another 3 hours. She made a coffee and had a fag and I spoke quietly and looked into her eyes.

I haven't seen pissholes in the snow like that for a long time.

At 47 I think she has lost her touch.

And we have to do it all over again next Friday.

[billd766]

One disadvantage of living out in the rurals is that there are no handt western style supermarkets to nip in to.

This has made me relearn how to cook and make my own food.

I now make bacon, ham, pate, bread, rolls and odd other bits that sometimes work and the mistakes are eaten by the cats, dogs, chickens or ducks. Little gets wasted here.

This morning I got my son and his friend from next door over and we made some fairy cakes with mixed fruit and a cherry on the top. This involves some planning in the monthly bulk shopping and Pi Suk's shop in the village which sels some baking things.

I showed them how to weigh things and mix them up in the bowl and gave them a choice of mixed fruit or raisins, sultanas are hard to find, and they chose the mixed fruit

They took turns in mixing and then filling the cake cases but were a bit confused with the left overs in the bowl. I explained that the leftovers were the cooks perk and as they were a bit dubious I ate some and they tried a taste and that cleaned the bowl.

I put the cakes in the oven and they were done in 20 minutes and the first ones were gone 15 minutes later.

They enjoyed doing the cake making judging by the big grins and the mess they made.

Next weekend we will try for a sponge cake with icing and hundreds and thousands.

Neither of the mothers ever made cakes because they are Thai and don't know how.

I am using my memory, some of what my ex-wife taught me and the internet.

If it all goes wrong we have 19 ducks and loads of chickens in for a good time soon.

Have a great dayand tink about me hiding in the corner scoffing home mede cakes where the kids can't find me.

[billd766]

One disadvantage of living out in the rurals is that there are no handt western style supermarkets to nip in to.

This has made me relearn how to cook and make my own food.

I now make bacon, ham, pate, bread, rolls and odd other bits that sometimes work and the mistakes are eaten by the cats, dogs, chickens or ducks. Little gets wasted here.

This morning I got my son and his friend from next door over and we made some fairy cakes with mixed fruit and a cherry on the top. This involves some planning in the monthly bulk shopping and Pi Suk's shop in the village which sels some baking things.

I showed them how to weigh things and mix them up in the bowl and gave them a choice of mixed fruit or raisins, sultanas are hard to find, and they chose the mixed fruit

They took turns in mixing and then filling the cake cases but were a bit confused with the left overs in the bowl. I explained that the leftovers were the cooks perk and as they were a bit dubious I ate some and they tried a taste and that cleaned the bowl.

I put the cakes in the oven and they were done in 20 minutes and the first ones were gone 15 minutes later.

They enjoyed doing the cake making judging by the big grins and the mess they made.

Next weekend we will try for a sponge cake with icing and hundreds and thousands.

Neither of the mothers ever made cakes because they are Thai and don't know how.

I am using my memory, some of what my ex-wife taught me and the internet.

If it all goes wrong we have 19 ducks and loads of chickens in for a good time soon.

Have a great dayand tink about me hiding in the corner scoffing home mede cakes where the kids can't find me.

I think my computer has a case of the stupids.

The last line should have read

Have a great day and think about me hiding in the corner, scoffing home made cakes where the kids can't find me.

[Adventure1]

A a

[kevin2008]

Life in a Thai village for me would be a nightmare of boredom and isolation etc,.... while i understand for others, it is an idyllic fantasy.

[kevin2008]

We have actually an Irish, Dutch, another German, a French, a US, a Swiss plus a Japanese but they only visit the village for the Songkran holidays.

Some of their wife's are playing already with local guys and the foreigners just keeps sending money. Go figure...

.......mmm....mmm

[billd766]

Last week I made some belly porkinto Honey and mustard bacon.

The biggest problem I have is slicing it thin enough but whatever it still tastes great.

This is about 3 kg worth.

Bacon-honey mustard cure.doc