Keeping score. How to measure your success as a Thai expat

[JLCrab]

[overherebc]

I always set my standards fairly low and consistently fail to maintain them.

That's what I call success.

[akentryan]

You have succeeded when you convince your Thai wife to make a will leaving 100% of everything in her name to you as sole heir. It does not matter if she is 20 years younger than you she still may die before you. Accident, sudden illness you name it. Without a will you end up buying one-third (assuming both her parents are alive) of the value of houses and cars that you've already paid for. You will also lose one-third of any cash in bank accounts in her name. You will also incur attorney fees in excess of 100,000 baht and wait a year for any settlement.. Don't forget to name yourself as Executor. Old man's prayer "Please Lord let me die first".

[JLCrab]

<snip> Without a will you end up buying one-third (assuming both her parents are alive) of the value of houses and cars that you've already paid for. < snip >.

That makes a lot of sense if you have indeed have paid for houses, cars, & whatever, that is now solely in your Thai wife's name. If you aren't married and have bought nothing in any Thai girl's name then that is not a worry. But if you do that, and make other concessions to your non-married long-term female Thai partner and maybe her family, you will then become the target of The Thai Visa Boo-birds as earlier in this topic.

[geronimo]

I measure my success by my happiness.Material wealth is fine but it isn't that important, unless of course, you deem it so!Happy with wife, two grown up kids,life is good.

[louse1953]

How many times i reply to bs posts.

[louse1953]

You have succeeded when you convince your Thai wife to make a will leaving 100% of everything in her name to you as sole heir. It does not matter if she is 20 years younger than you she still may die before you. Accident, sudden illness you name it. Without a will you end up buying one-third (assuming both her parents are alive) of the value of houses and cars that you've already paid for. You will also lose one-third of any cash in bank accounts in her name. You will also incur attorney fees in excess of 100,000 baht and wait a year for any settlement.. Don't forget to name yourself as Executor. Old man's prayer "Please Lord let me die first".

Cynical.If you have donated,given or been hoodwinked into putting a house and land,money in bank,cars bikes ect,into the wife's name it is hers to do with what she wants,or are you an indian giver.If you where fool enough to do the above,you deserve to lose the lot,as many fools do and continue to do.

[louse1953]

Successfully resisting the temptation to get baited into arguments is underappreciated on TVF.

[/quote

Understanding the bait has been thrown but refuting bs is a TVF posters right to reply.

[catman20]

I measure my success only on the "hottness" of my current girlfriend. My current one, I'd give an 8.5. She's pretty damn hot and the farang blokes I meet are all jealous. That is the only thing of importance to me.

that's cos ur a sexy man

[Naam]

i'm not a Thai but a German expat. that's why i can't answer your question.

[Gecko123]

You need to be Thai to be a Thai expat.

You grammarians may be correct that "Thailand" expat might be a better choice of words, but I am not certain that saying "Thai" expat is completely incorrect.

Thai

tī/

adjective

1.

of or relating to Thailand, its people, or their language.

I am a Thai expat in the sense that I am an expat living in the country of Thailand. If anybody can clarify this usage question further, it will be appreciated.

Edited November 9, 2015 by Gecko123

[nikmar]

By how happy I am.

I'm doing pretty well.

and ,by extension, how happy my family are.

[samsensam]

how calm i remain.

[samsensam]

You need to be Thai to be a Thai expat.

You grammarians may be correct that "Thailand" expat might be a better choice of words, but I am not certain that saying "Thai" expat is completely incorrect.

Thai

tī/

adjective

1.

of or relating to Thailand, its people, or their language.

I am a Thai expat in the sense that I am an expat living in the country of Thailand. If anybody can clarify this usage question further, it will be appreciated.

we are not thai expats as they are thais living abroad, we are expats in thailand.

[05daytona]

I agree with SoiBiker.

I am working here at the moment,but would like to stay when my contract ends.

Back home i was a collector of all things new, had a boat, wanted a bigger one, same with the car, bike, house etc etc.

I came here, same, never satisfied, had a sexy lady, wanted a more sexy one.

I would be more happy now to sell everything back home, come and live here with like minded people. Get a job, which pays the bills and just watch the world go around.

I think, only then will i be able to sit back and look at what i have done and where i have come from and say that i am happy

[natway09]

This wonderful game of life I am living here in Thailand does not need a scorecard

[chicowoodduck]

Why the hell keep score??? At the end of the day we all go into the same size hole???

[RolandRat]

by the length of time I have been here, and by not (yet) having to resort to "other methods" to remain here as many seem to do.

I also dont get flustered and go running to an internet forum because my pension is 24 hrs late arriving, if it was that critical, it would be time to "go home".

[pgrahmm]

If you're "keeping score/status counting" you've already lost the race - because you are mentally looking/putting others down in the proccess of Elevating Yourself - For yourself....

And that does not equate to happiness.....

But it can provide angst as you go along feeding an inferiority complex constantly comparing yourself to others and strangers......All of who really don't give two hoots about you while you let them impact your world by matching up against THEIR possessions.....Basically makes you a follower of THEM - a Copycat....

I've known people that are mega bucks happy and people that have little and are happy.....One thing they have in common is they are grounded and they don't keep scorecards.....

[Gecko123]

If you're "keeping score/status counting" you've already lost the race - because you are mentally looking/putting others down in the proccess of Elevating Yourself - For yourself....

And that does not equate to happiness.....

But it can provide angst as you go along feeding an inferiority complex constantly comparing yourself to others and strangers......All of who really don't give two hoots about you while you let them impact your world by matching up against THEIR possessions.....Basically makes you a follower of THEM - a Copycat....

I've known people that are mega bucks happy and people that have little and are happy.....One thing they have in common is they are grounded and they don't keep scorecards.....

FYI, I've read Wayne Dwyer's 'Your Erroneous Zones' and 'The Sky's The Limit' too.

My OP merely sought to engage people in a discussion of how they measure their own success as an expatriate in Thailand, and threw some conventional measures of success out in order to get the discussion rolling. I hope no one has assumed that the measures I listed represent my own personal criteria for measuring success.

But some of them are applicable to me. I certainly see myself as successful for having managed my finances sufficiently well that I can live comfortably here and, at the very least, haven't run out of money. I view my family life as a measure of success. I think my language studies have been successful. I see my insights into Thai culture and integration into my community as successes. I think I've grown emotionally, spiritually, and philosophically here, and see that as a success. I see myself as a successful gardener. And, yes, I do compare myself to how others are doing. I do that both in real life and on TVF. I think everybody does, whether they want to admit it or not.

I'm not running around obsessively comparing myself to other people, careening from emotional highs to emotional lows depending on whether I meet someone who is better off or worse off than me. When I encounter someone who is not doing well, I try to help them, or learn from their mistakes. When I meet someone who is doing well, I try to learn from them.

But I refuse to accept for a minute the notion that anyone who compares themselves to other people is emotionally unhealthy or a loser.

Edited November 9, 2015 by Gecko123

[fred Kubasa]

After 11 years I AM ALIVE, barely, but ALIVE !

[fang37]

After 11 years I AM ALIVE, barely, but ALIVE !

Congratulations are in order.

Wine, women & song?

[nikmar]

A suppose success can be measured by experience. As in the things you have done here that you would never have done if you had remained in your native country.

For example, I would never have learnt to scuba dive in the UK. But now its something Ive done a few times. Its things like that that I will be thinking of when Im on my deathbed, not my bank balance. Learnt a new language etc.

Im not a rich man, but I have many positive memories and I would like to think that Im rich in experience.

Can that be related to success?

[stephenterry]

When my hot Thai wife agrees with me.

[Travel Dude]

I measure it by the size of my d.ck.

Reason is I can also apply it abroad. It's like a universal measurement

[JLCrab]

My adage: He who screws last, screws best.

[Gecko123]

My adage: He who screws last, screws best.

Are you familiar with the expression "sloppy seconds"?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Edited November 9, 2015 by Gecko123

[HerbalEd]

I've always defined being financially rich as having optimal opportunities and choices. If you have lots of money then the cars, motorbikes, houses/condos, Thai ladies, travel, restaurants & hotels, clothes, jewelry, and much more are whatever you want them to be.

For sure poverty won't increase happiness. I've heard it said that if money won't buy happiness then you're shopping in the wrong place. However, I've know rich people who are not happy, and some rich people are actually made unhappy by their money ... esp. if that money came quickly and easily.

Personally, I've tried poor and I've tried wealthy, and I know which one I prefer. ;-)

Anyway, at the end of the day the thing that makes me the happiest is making other people happy. That really puts a smile on my face and makes me feel good about myself and my life.

Edited November 9, 2015 by HerbalEd

[Fabricus]

I judge my success by how many children I father.

Current score,

4 in the UK.

1 in Thailand.

Currently looking for more success in Thailand.

Not worried about money, I have enough.

You've done well. That's an admirable record.

[JLCrab]

My adage: He who screws last, screws best.

Are you familiar with the expression "sloppy seconds"?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Yes -- but I did make it past the age of 12. But more along the lines of the last time some (most?) of my contemporaries back home screwed a 20+ year old is when they were 20+

Edited November 9, 2015 by JLCrab