Things that your partner says that make you think... " huh "

[mesterm]

Talking about the classical music concert at Tiffany's opposite Big C next week I simulate playing violin and trumpet ands ask "you like?" yes, yes yes. later she insists I was talking about " go lek Hotel near Big C" huh?

Was she a hooker? Might explain the interpretation.

[mesterm]

It's pretty much extinct now but over the years I'd sometimes ask a question & get the response -

"I'm don't sure"....

Or "l can't know".

How philosophical.

"Is space infinite?"

"Hmm... I can't know."

Edited April 4, 2016 by mesterm

[mesterm]

"You not love me. You only think yourself" And a Thai can say this???

Must be more mirrors, make up and hairbrushes in this house to aid thinking about myself than in any New York Beauty Salon!

"You not good" "Not look after me" Well apart from the house, the land, the car, the motorbike, the fridge, the washing machine ,the air con, the clothes and my not chasing girls around town I suppose she has a point?

Perhaps you drink and smoke too much???

Or perhaps he just has a Thai wife.

[YeahSiam]

I bet the OP sat there

and thought really,

really hard about a

topic he could a

thread on. If this is

all he could come up

with, he should head

for the nearest high

rise and jump

Time to change your Meds again YS.

Just when I thought you couldn't get anymore bitter you jump up with this beauty.

Why attack the OP?

Are you just jealous because he has a real wife and child, meanwhile your stuck in your rut?

As you've been told a thousand times before on this forum, if you don't like it, don't read it.

It really is time you wind your neck in old chum.

How bout you run along to 7/11 and shout yourself an ice cream, go sit on the stairs, eT it and have a bit of 'self reflection' time and stop attacking all and sundry on this forum

Have a good week, I pray your luck changes soon and you find some happiness yourself!

OP, funny story about the slime, I sure as hell won't be making a trip to your refrigerator in the middle of the night.....what a repulsive thing to be kept in the fridge 5555

What the heck is it for?

Jealous? That's the

best theory you could

muster? I think I know

why you never made it

beyond detective in

the police force.

[Robm579]

" hurry up, take your time" .... No idea what that's supposed to mean...

"You are shellfish.... " ....?

" i will put that in the fridge later..." Which I now know means never.... Until it goes mouldy...! And I throw it in the rubbish....

" ... Oh we don't go now".... as I'm about to drive to the bus station, at 6 am... to collect her daughter who yet again missed the bus ... Nine hours earlier... But never felt the need to inform anyone...

And the classic

" no not hot.... Just nid noi...." As she serve me something with paint stripper qualities...

Edited April 4, 2016 by Robm579

[ggt]

She was actually referring to you...did not mean for you to over-hear her...

[ChrisKC]

The Missis once tried explaining plaa raa to me as "fish expire".

"I am going to dye my hair"

"What colour"

"mai kao jai"

"You said you were going to dye your hair"

"No. I am going to dai pom"

"You are mixing English and Thai together". "dye in English means to change the colour"

"Oh. I just go to make my hair beautiful"

"And while I there I for to have my foot fingers done"

"Yes, darling, have a great time"

Edited April 4, 2016 by ChrisKC

[lemonjelly]

Me: Honey, my friend is selling his motorbike cheap, we need another motorbike, It's automatic, are you interested?

Her: What colour is it?

Edited April 4, 2016 by lemonjelly

[Lokie]

Talking one day to a middle aged Thai lady about family and where from etc, her: how many babies you...?

Me; Five

Her; Five??, You like F ooking! (while I am slightly lost for words she goes on - Yes you like F ooking, you Good F ooker!! (with her thubs up lol...)

where else in the world, made me smile that day...

[Carl64]

We were watching My Kitchen Rules on TV and she calls it - My Chicken Law.

Mouth Wash - Tooth Water.

Lime - Lamb, I have been trying for 5 years to get her to say Lime.

[Linzz]

My wife got her lipstick ricence the other day (restricted licence) (NZ) afterwards we negotiated the factory joy (traffic jam) but her Engwitsh in improving all the time.The best thing about our relationship is the laughs I get. And she me too speaking Thailish..

[lucifer666]

Her " I washing the elevator". I arrive home to find her watching "Predator"

[nikmar]

My wife got her lipstick ricence the other day (restricted licence) (NZ) afterwards we negotiated the factory joy (traffic jam) but her Engwitsh in improving all the time.The best thing about our relationship is the laughs I get. And she me too speaking Thailish..

Thats a good point. My wife could start a similar thread about the things I say.

I asked her if "kii kwai" is a usable phrase, as in "BS". She still laughs at that.

[Hatyaier]

Same but different.

[bazza40]

Air Asia ad is on with cheap fares.

She: Look,look mai peng

Me: Where to? ( Teenai )

She: I don't know, does that matter?

[Ghostnigel]

Its funny how they look at you weird when you tell them their version of a word is incorrect, but they say her english teacher (thai) taught her that way. I have to laugh and say "so i am english, but i say the word wrong, and your teacher was right?"

Then she wants to be able to know how to improve by saying the word correctly, but their version is so cute, I don't want her to say it correctly, her version is better. I could never tell her that they are not fingers on her feet, just can't bring myself to tell her....

But on the whole, she speaks clearer english than me, she has even got a Dorset accent at times...

[nikmar]

Its funny how they look at you weird when you tell them their version of a word is incorrect, but they say her english teacher (thai) taught her that way. I have to laugh and say "so i am english, but i say the word wrong, and your teacher was right?"

Then she wants to be able to know how to improve by saying the word correctly, but their version is so cute, I don't want her to say it correctly, her version is better. I could never tell her that they are not fingers on her feet, just can't bring myself to tell her....

But on the whole, she speaks clearer english than me, she has even got a Dorset accent at times...

Yep. My wife's version of liverpool slang makes me giggle a bit. "it's sound naaaa kaaaa"

[1BADDAT]

My Vietnamese wife, who had a great command of English, but never cussed, got very upset at someone and tried to call him one of his favorite profanities.

She called him, "suckerbug." Took me a while to figure out what she attempted to call him.

My Vietnamese ex-gf used to say "jaberlash" instead of gibberish. She also use to call a backpack a "pack back"

[dick dasterdly]

The funniest one that I ever heard was a guy who took his wife back to England, and when she got out of the 'plane asked why they'd left the aircon on outdoors!

How cute is that .

[Guest]

As a few have said, sometimes the Mrs. will come up with something and you do not want to change it.

My wife loves peanut butter ...

One of her favorite treats is "Butter Bean Bread"

I tried a few times to correct her, but now think Butter Bean is better ... with the smile it gives me ...

And these conversations:

"I am getting two new makeup brushes"

You just bought two last week.

"I know, but these are better" (Shows picture)

These look exactly the same, Is there any difference.?

"The new ones are gold, the old ones are silver"

Is there any other difference?

"No"

So, it is like the silver ones are gold, and that is the only difference?

"Yes, Same same, but not gold"

So then it will be like you have four of the same brush??

"NO. The gold ones are better"

Why?

(Exasperated I could be so stupid) Because they are GOLD color, NOT silver!

Yes dear, have a nice time ...

(These brushes NEVER leave the house, and no one but her will ever see them)

[Guest]

Bought my wife 3 lottery tickets.

April 2nd, asked "Did you win the lottery?"

Looks at me with a frown of disappointment... "No! Next time I buy my own tickets!"

Yes dear .. that should do it.

[pgrahmm]

As a few have said, sometimes the Mrs. will come up with something and you do not want to change it.

My wife loves peanut butter ...

One of her favorite treats is "Butter Bean Bread"

I tried a few times to correct her, but now think Butter Bean is better ... with the smile it gives me ...

She is technically correct....

Peanuts are beans around here too...

[laolover88]

"You not love me. You only think yourself" And a Thai can say this???

Must be more mirrors, make up and hairbrushes in this house to aid thinking about myself than in any New York Beauty Salon!

"You not good" "Not look after me" Well apart from the house, the land, the car, the motorbike, the fridge, the washing machine ,the air con, the clothes and my not chasing girls around town I suppose she has a point?

Perhaps you drink and smoke too much???

As it happens I neither drink, nor smoke. But nor do I go to church

[laolover88]

Had another good one today

Tossing and turning in the bed

"Why you not go sleep in the other room. It is more cool"

"No. cannot sleep alone"

"Why not?"

"I afraid of goats"

"Goats?"

""Yes very dangerous"

Think

"Oh you are afraid of ghosts?"

"You stupid. Is what I say!"

[sipi]

I pulled up at a tee intersection on a curve and couldn't see if there was any traffic approaching from the left.

I asked a Thai friend "Are there any cars coming?". "No" she replied, so I pull out. There was a blasting horn noise and a truck flew past a few feet in front of us.

"I thought you said there weren't any cars coming" I screamed.

"No, that one truck"...

[totally thaied up]

This morning I sent my partner off to buy two new motorcycle tires to be fitted.

I told her to put a set of Bridgestones on the bike. Off she goes and a hour later her comes back with Chinese cheap shit tires on my bike.

I said, "I asked you to put Bridgestones on my bike" and I was not trying to lose my cool.

She said, "Good tire. First tire they show me was 400 baht, second tire they show me 600 baht, Fridgestone was 1100 baht. 600 baht tire good they tell me"....

I only did not lose the plot due to her saying "Fridgestone".....

I took my bike back, explained what I wanted done and had these tires changed over to Mamma's bike (they were just about stuffed and we have both the same bikes) and had a set of these so called "Fridgestones" put on".

[dick dasterdly]

I pulled up at a tee intersection on a curve and couldn't see if there was any traffic approaching from the left.

I asked a Thai friend "Are there any cars coming?". "No" she replied, so I pull out. There was a blasting horn noise and a truck flew past a few feet in front of us.

"I thought you said there weren't any cars coming" I screamed.

"No, that one truck"...

I did the same once, and as we pulled out quickly added "if you're quick"... Strangely it wasn't appreciated .

[NickJ]

Here are two that stuck with me......

Honey I just hurt one of my foot fingers. She meant her toe.

I cleaned off all the bird hair that was on the bed.....feathers from a down pillow......

[nikmar]

In spite of the occasional break downs in logic I experience with my good lady, there is nothing I would change about her.

Even her Mum, I love her as my own Mother, brings sunshine into my life.

Example, last week, we went to visit and she wouldn't let me make a coffee for myself as I hadny finished the coffee from my last visit.

It was in the fridge. The dregs that were left were green.

Thanks for the replies, guys, some of these have been very funny.