why do so many girls turn to toms

[Gandtee]

58 minutes ago, DSJPC said:

I never heard the word "Tom", and I been in Thailand off and on since 1967!!...must be a "cool" term, like Pats and Swampy and Sookie, for those with baseball caps on backwards and wearing their jeans slung low and showing their ass-crack!!!...no thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I arrived here in 1985 and a Tom and his/her wife lived next door. Sorry DSJPC, My new wife used the term when she was complaining about their noisy dogs. Obviously you haven't mixed with the right people. 

[lemonjelly]

Thai girls are simply tired of uncaring, arrogant, violent, unfaithful, immature alcoholic Thai men. Just that.


Sent from my twisted mind using Thaivisa Connect

[anotheruser]

On 11/30/2016 at 5:09 PM, Thaiwrath said:

 

The Tom is not lesbian, she gets no sexual gratification from any sexual encounter with the dee, apart from being in complete control.

The dee has no desire to touch the tom sexually. 

 

I literally burst out laughing reading this. You would make the man in this pic proud.

[Thaiwrath]

4 minutes ago, anotheruser said:

 

I literally burst out laughing reading this. You would make the man in this pic proud.

 

Try speaking to some in real life, instead of listening to hearsay.

[anotheruser]

21 hours ago, Berkshire said:

 

If you're talking about prison rape, these guys didn't turn gay.  It's a power/domineering thing.  Really has nothing to do with sexuality.  And the guys taking it...well, let's just say they didn't have much of a choice. 

 

hmmm Not sure that is exactly true either. There certainly are for example guys in prison that make themselves up as girls to attract men. Sometimes when fish isn't available a person will try beef. 

 

If it were simply based upon power and had nothing to do with sex appearance wouldn't be taken into account.

[anotheruser]

Just now, Thaiwrath said:

 

Try speaking to some in real life, instead of listening to hearsay.

 I know plenty of lesbians in real life so spare me the lecture. You state your rather bizarre opinion as if it is fact. As if it is the same for every lesbian couple on the planet. 

[Thaiwrath]

4 minutes ago, anotheruser said:

 I know plenty of lesbians in real life so spare me the lecture. You state your rather bizarre opinion as if it is fact. As if it is the same for every lesbian couple on the planet. 

 

It is not a lesbian relationship. One CONTROLS the other, and gives her sexual gratification.

In a lesbian relationship, they both give each other sexual gratification.

[Berkshire]

3 hours ago, lemonjelly said:

Thai girls are simply tired of uncaring, arrogant, violent, unfaithful, immature alcoholic Thai men. Just that.


Sent from my twisted mind using Thaivisa Connect

 

So what you're saying is if you've had some bad experiences with women, you can easily turn gay....correct?  Not that there's anything wrong with that. 

[Berkshire]

1 hour ago, anotheruser said:

 

hmmm Not sure that is exactly true either. There certainly are for example guys in prison that make themselves up as girls to attract men. Sometimes when fish isn't available a person will try beef. 

 

If it were simply based upon power and had nothing to do with sex appearance wouldn't be taken into account.

 

I was talking mostly about prison rape.  But ok, let's make sure we understand each other.  Prison life is nothing like life on the outside.  The real world.  Comparisons may not necessarily be valid.

[Dumbastheycome]

11 hours ago, gemguy said:

Usually...but not always one of them is butch looking and the other is pretty.

The butch looking one plays the more manly role and the pretty one plays the more feminine role...as would be expected...but not always.

Both of them being women they understand one another far more than any man would understand them while the butch girl will shield and save the pretty from the bad men that she could otherwise be preyed upon by while "their" love is a special kind of love that no man could ever provide...lol

And if the butch one is not attracting any attention from men and not getting any loving then many will give up on their interest in men and turn to pursuing another women and find solace in their relationship and satisfaction in the sexual aspect of the relationship

Meantime the "kinky sex" aspect of a lesbian affair is satisfying for a lot of the women, as that old saying goes:

 Do not knock it, until you try it...lol

Cheers

Is the  latter part  of your  post applicable to those males  who are attracted to ladyboys ?  A "female" who is  not  but outwardly appears to  be  but in reality a "male  who understands? It has never been  or likely to be my experience or inciination but in whatever various departures from  conventional gender role  association I have often  wondered if it is a social reactionary response (Head  job) (no pun )  or a  genetic anomoly or a combination of  both.

Adding to my contemplative confusion is the recent "marriage"of a ladyboy to a  tom.  If a prenancy is  eventually involved then how is that rationalized ? A temporary  role reversal reversal?

 

[Denim]

1 hour ago, Berkshire said:

 

So what you're saying is if you've had some bad experiences with women, you can easily turn gay....correct?  Not that there's anything wrong with that. 

 

You must be a newbie to Thailand. You seem to think that relationships revolve around the sex act and nothing else and that if a woman chooses another woman as her partner it is purely down to sexual orientation and that both have sex as the common denominator.

Ok.....if you have not been here long and are carrying a lot of mental baggage from the west with you then it is understandable that you assume everywhere in the world is just like the place you grew up in.

However.....this is Thailand and surely any nincompoop can see that here security in a relationship is just as important as what goes on in bed. Look at all the young Thai women knocking around with much older partners..both local and foreigners. This is not because they find wrinkles and baldness sexually attractive but they look to other benefits before entering a relationship.

I actually have known personally , two Thai women who lived with Toms because putting sex aside, they needed a faithful and reliable companion more than they needed a useless swinging dick. One of those women subsequently met a reliable man and is now married with two children.

 

Try opening your eyes to the reality around you before making smug comments based on your own ignorance of human relationships.

[Berkshire]

1 minute ago, Denim said:

 

You must be a newbie to Thailand. You seem to think that relationships revolve around the sex act and nothing else and that if a woman chooses another woman as her partner it is purely down to sexual orientation and that both have sex as the common denominator.

Ok.....if you have not been here long and are carrying a lot of mental baggage from the west with you then it is understandable that you assume everywhere in the world is just like the place you grew up in.

However.....this is Thailand and surely any nincompoop can see that here security in a relationship is just as important as what goes on in bed. Look at all the young Thai women knocking around with much older partners..both local and foreigners. This is not because they find wrinkles and baldness sexually attractive but they look to other benefits before entering a relationship.

I actually have known personally , two Thai women who lived with Toms because putting sex aside, they needed a faithful and reliable companion more than they needed a useless swinging dick. One of those women subsequently met a reliable man and is now married with two children.

 

Try opening your eyes to the reality around you before making smug comments based on your own ignorance of human relationships.

 

Do you know how ignorant you sound?  Do you even understand the social dynamics of a Tom/Dee relationship?  In nearly all cases, it's not about marriage or a long term relationship.  You need to remove your head from your rear if you want to have an intelligent debate. 

[Denim]

4 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

 

Do you know how ignorant you sound?  Do you even understand the social dynamics of a Tom/Dee relationship?  In nearly all cases, it's not about marriage or a long term relationship.  You need to remove your head from your rear if you want to have an intelligent debate. 

 

So now you are actually agreeing with me. Glad your sphincter was not so tight that you couldn't get your head out. Now breath some fresh air and go and lie down. Even cyber warriors need to rest now and then.

[Berkshire]

Just now, Denim said:

 

So now you are actually agreeing with me. Glad your sphincter was not so tight that you couldn't get your head out. Now breath some fresh air and go and lie down. Even cyber warriors need to rest now and then.

 

You're not particularly bright.  It has nothing to do with security as you claim.  Most of these dee's are young girls who aren't thinking about security.  You have them confused with Thai women that you date.  At least be honest about that. 

[elliss]

On 11/29/2016 at 9:04 PM, fruitman said:

 

I also have a Tom couple as neighbours.

 

There waterpump made terrible noise for months in row untill it drove me really crazy and went to them. I told them it drives me crazy to hear that loud noise all day and since then never heard it again.

 

Why did they wait so long to fix it since it was an easy fix?

 

  Really ?  ,

i did not know Tom boys , had pumps ,

                     live and  learn .555

[elliss]

5 hours ago, Thaiwrath said:

 

It is not a lesbian relationship. One CONTROLS the other, and gives her sexual gratification.

In a lesbian relationship, they both give each other sexual gratification.

 

I  take it , really . 

  Are  you are referring  to your own life experiences ?

      You are awful ,  but i like you .555

Edited December 1, 2016 by elliss

[gemguy]

11 hours ago, Dumbastheycome said:

Is the  latter part  of your  post applicable to those males  who are attracted to ladyboys ?  A "female" who is  not  but outwardly appears to  be  but in reality a "male  who understands? It has never been  or likely to be my experience or inciination but in whatever various departures from  conventional gender role  association I have often  wondered if it is a social reactionary response (Head  job) (no pun )  or a  genetic anomoly or a combination of  both.

Adding to my contemplative confusion is the recent "marriage"of a ladyboy to a  tom.  If a prenancy is  eventually involved then how is that rationalized ? A temporary  role reversal reversal?

 

I think so, as that is what the ladyboys would have you know and try to convince you there of:

Do not knock it until you have tried it ..type of attitude.

Thailand has all kinds of variations or "sexual types" while the Thais themselves do not make a big fuss about anything concerning sexual practices or sexual relationships other than heterosexual relationships...

However,  they do talk about it and gossip about it and poke fun at Ladyboys and Toms and Lesbians and Gays but they do not attack or shame those that do practice sexual relationships other than heterosexual relationships nor do they scorn them or loath them collectively as a society or create a nation wide public debate about the percentage of people that do choose sexual relationships other than heterosexual relations while they do not go about falsely claiming other kinds of sexual relations are some sort of threat to civilization or national security..lol ...rather more of a "Live and let Live"  type of attitude.

Besides I would surmise at least 90 % or more of Thai people are heterosexual and no inclination otherwise while other people can do as they please is what they are thinking overall.

Cheers

[elgenon]

I met a young girl in Pattaya who looked like a beautiful Tom. She wasn't allowed to have a phone of her own. She was living w a Tom because the Tom took good care of her in a strange new place where she new no one. I asked her what she wanted in the future and she said to marry a male farang.

[UPDEHSOI]

On 11/30/2016 at 3:53 PM, bendejo said:

 

Yes they can!

So the Tom says to her girlfriend "I want to be frank with you," to which the girlfriend replied "you're always Frank, tonight it's my turn!"

 

 

THAT'S IT!! Where's deh <deleted>' balcony?

[nunoyabiznez]

On 30/11/2016 at 5:09 PM, Thaiwrath said:

 

The Tom is not lesbian, she gets no sexual gratification from any sexual encounter with the dee, apart from being in complete control.

The dee has no desire to touch the tom sexually. 

 

Woah! I'm not trolling here, but isn't this a rather large generalisation? 

Or do you know an asexual-lesbian couple?

I indirectly know a Dee/Tom couple, I will ask my girl to ask them , if it is appropriate, for their take.

You're possibly describing a facet of 'asexualism' people who just don't get a charge from sex, the ones I read about were heterosexuals, they have an even harder time of any other social subgroup finding companionship, because, of course, we all need love to thrive.

Interested to hear more about your thoughts and how you came to make this statement. On reflection, it sounds like some sort of sexual tension power thing with no tenderness, ever. A bit of a forlorn existence, but as a barstool pervert, who am i to judge

Edited December 2, 2016 by nunoyabiznez

[Thaiwrath]

Joined 6 hours ago, 35 posts to date !

Gotta larf.

[nunoyabiznez]

11 minutes ago, Thaiwrath said:

Joined 6 hours ago, 35 posts to date !

Gotta larf.

 I'm bored, glad you got a larf.

Got a reply worth writing?

6 minutes later update: Congratulations! I joined six hours and six minutes ago, you made it onto my 'ignore' list in record time, keep up the good work!

Edited December 2, 2016 by nunoyabiznez

[cyberfarang]

Toms are just very masculine lesbians as pre-OP ladyboys are very feminine gays.

 

If I found my wife or long term girlfriend showing interest in the friendships and company of lesbian Toms I would be very concerned as I`m sure a wife or girlfriend would be very worried if her man began enjoying the company of ladyboys or other men who dress in feminine styles. Besides that, I believe some girls like to hang about with toms because it seems fashionable, a certain trend the social media seems to promote. I have often seen stunning young girls walking hand in hand in shopping malls with toms. So there ya go, welcome to the modern world.

[Thaiwrath]

8 hours ago, nunoyabiznez said:

 I'm bored, glad you got a larf.

Got a reply worth writing?

6 minutes later update: Congratulations! I joined six hours and six minutes ago, you made it onto my 'ignore' list in record time, keep up the good work!

 

Mission accomplished.

[The Dark Lord]

On 01/12/2016 at 10:01 AM, F4UCorsair said:

 

Maybe I didn't dumb It down sufficiently for you, although one would have thought the 'refreshments' would have been a clue??

 

You appear to be the only one who has taken It seriously and come back full of fire.

 

I'll make It easy for you, just In case the 'six pack and pizza' wasn't a blunt enough hint.

 

IT WAS A JOKE!!!

 

Incidentally your analogy/ comparison wasn't a valid one.  Did you mrean a heteroserxual woman (wife) watching two men having sex?

 

Unable to edit typos

I am sorry FUCorsair but your final para is just bad. Bad, bad, bad in addition to being completely unnatural, an abhorration and a crime against nature. 

 

Whilst i I see where you are coming (sic) from with the analogy, .....

 

i feel quite revolted.

[smokie36]

What a bizarre clickbait topic! 

[BsBs]

On 11/30/2016 at 7:33 AM, geronimo said:

The main reason is the completely unacceptable behaviour of the Thai male population.

 

So true !

 

 

[ozmeldo]

I see a great deal of lesbian couples on the MRT. I think the Dee is sexually retarded, most Thai's are far more immature than Western counterparts. The Dee has little or no experience with men for numerous reasons.

 

I was told the Dee is often not lesbian, she enjoys the interest, care, money spent on her, companionship. Total passive participation in anything sexual. I was also told many Dee move on and find men and get married. Have kids...

 

I've no respect for most Tom's. They are obsessive, insecure of themselves, their personas and their relationships. Manipulative comes quickly to mind. The manner in which they cling to the Dee - if it were a man (especially farang!), people would gawk. It's a weird, unnatural, forced relationship and it looks exactly like that. I bet Tom's actively seek these sorts of women bc the type of young woman seems to fit a pattern.

 

The whole Tom thing is pathetic and so is the crazy immature girl clinging to her. It's so sadly lifestyle.

 

Still, they are young and it's just a harmless diversion for Dee. Tom is just lost.

 

I think most homosexuality is lifestyle. Perhaps 4% of men and 1% women are truly homosexual. Yeah, I realize this is not a popular opinion but I'm always ten years AHEAD of my time.

Edited January 4, 2017 by ozmeldo

[champers]

On 11/30/2016 at 7:38 AM, geronimo said:

If I wanted a partner, yes.

 

On 11/30/2016 at 7:37 AM, Berkshire said:

 

So using your logic, if you were living somewhere that had no desirable females (or none will have you), what would you do?  Switch to men? 

Isn't this what happens in prisons? All male or all female. Used to be a problem on naval ships before they got quicker and stopped off at ports for r&r.

[Berkshire]

5 minutes ago, champers said:

 

Isn't this what happens in prisons? All male or all female. Used to be a problem on naval ships before they got quicker and stopped off at ports for r&r.

 

What happens in prisons has nothing to do with sexuality, but rather power and control.  Unless you're saying that you can turn gay if you spent some time in prison?