Intellectual Whore

[Retiredandhappyhere]

If I bumped into a lady in Makro or wherever who appeared to come from my own country, I would certainly say "hello" and ask her if she was in Thaiand on holiday or actually lived here permanently etc., without there being anything to it other than a friendly chat.  During the conversation, she might reveal that she has a husband here and I might reveal that I am married to a Thai girl, but that would in no way affect the conversation we were having, whether the lady was as beautiful as the OP appears to think she is, or she or I were downright ugly.

 

I think the OP does have a high opinion of herself, justified or not, but she appears to be looking for flaws in any Western men she meets. My Thai wife has a friend who believes she (the friend) is the most beautiful girl on the planet (whereas in truth it is my wife) but all the Western men she has met over the past few years, although initially dazzled by her looks, soon find out that she is not as interesting as they thought and she is still alone. I have to wonder if something similar to this is the OP's problem and that she is blaming the Western men she meets for appearing to notice only her "intellectual" assets and failing to notice all her other desirable qualities?

[Deepinthailand]

I have to admit it does not suprised me in the least. They must feel vulnerable in your presence as if your suddenly the enemy. Maybe it's down to bad carma with the white western woman they have had in the past. Or maybe they know you will not take the crap they spout to Thai women about there "past".  Male Expats in Thailand are a diffrent breed from other Expats I have seen/spoke to and lived amongst. They are not all the same as the impression you get on here by any means. But in my experiance it can be hard work if not impossible to.

1. Get Expats here to have a conversation with you.

2. When you do its near impossible to get them to shut up about how many millions they have and isn't Thailand the pits.

So my advise to you is to carry on doing what your doing enjoying yourselfs and forget about the people who think wrongly of you. Remember your the braver person. But you represent hostility to many Expat men. How very dare a woman live on her own in Thailand. I say good for you.

[amykat]

20 hours ago, LivinLOS said:

 

I wasnt calling 'you' a typical female I was saying many of the statements in this thread are to me typical.. The way its everyone elses fault, the way some want to be approached, but not approached, but maybe approached.. The way theres posts where for paragraph after paragraph theres no consistency to the issue or side, men are left confused to guess.  I think many men would agree, that kind of lack of clarity is kind of like arguing with a female. 

 

Well to categorize this behavior as belonging to only one gender is ridiculous!  I am NOT sure the OP was a female to begin with. I have written to "her" and she has not responded.  There are people with different personalities in the world and different writing abilities. There are people with various abilities to reason through problems and to use logic ...there are people who have no grasp on logic at all.

 

Many posters who have attempted to argue with me on this thread have shown a poor ability to argue an issue in a logical fashion.  They have attacked me instead of the issue. They have attacked the wrong things ...over and over again ...like fools on a shooting range, standing backwards or shooting up in the air!!

 

The fact that you made this statement about women shows your sexism that you think you don't have!! 

[elgenon]

I'm not sure what you prefer. A man who thinks you incapable of an intelligent conversation?

one who talks to you about his girl problems?

they are showing you respect in my opinion.

 

[jpinx]

deleted

Edited January 17, 2017 by jpinx

[chilli42]

I respectfully submit that you are WAY overthinking things.  I am tempted to believe, based on the tone of your post, that you are full of yourself.  However, I like to think the best of people so my advice would be that you lighten up and enjoy the ride.

[geisha]

Well, I think this will be in Roosters the week that was next Sunday, as TV s longest thread ! Personally, although I'm not retired in Thailand, I do spend my long winters here, and have done for over 30 years. i have never had any man, foreign or Thai , make nasty remarks to me, or be rude or impolite. I've had lots of friends, from all over the world, and also some very dear Thai friends. I do chat with men I meet at the pool, in the mall, in restaurants or when I'm travelling around the country. I've never given it a thought to be honest. I enjoy if someone brings up a subject a bit difficult, and have spent ages nicely arguing our views. There are good people and bad everywhere, I try to avoid the bad. It's nice just being friendly, and I value my friends and aquaintances here. 

[Bill97]

 
She's shown more than most of the men addressing her in a patronising manner have.

Certainly there are a lot of posts on this forum that do not show much intelligence. What's new?

Where are her intelligent replies to the, however few, intelligent responses?

[sharktooth]

I must remember not to ask Teresa Mays opinion of brexit next time I'm in Tesco...

[abrahamzvi]

On 1/13/2017 at 10:03 PM, mesquite said:

Most western men I know here want nothing to do with same-age western women and realize much younger western women want nothing to do with them.  The men I know pretty much ignore western women.  Some have issues and anger toward western women, but I have never seen or heard of any of my friends being openly hostile.

 

The intellectual whore thing really surprises me. 

 

Truth be told, I'm as baffled as you are about the situation you describe.  Maybe someone can shed some light on it.

I am slightly baffled about he "intellectual whore" reaction and I am not quite sure the lady concerned really understands the of "asking for a phone number. or for a cup of coffee" in the proper sense. Quite frankly most Farang men in Thailand are not after anything intellectual, as a matter of fact they despise intellectual, or intelligent females. Most Farang men in Thailand look for younger Thai girls, sex symbols, who would nod with a yes to every word they say, as stupid or primitive as it may be. They are really not after the female type they had to leave in their countries of origin, as they were not able to contend with them and were not accepted by them, in view of their mostly low level of intelligence.. If it is of any comfort to you, the male Farangs you are referring to, would look with disdain at and despise Thai ladies who are intellectually of a higher level than they are, or do not act as sex symbols. Without wishing to go into politics, the males you are referring to are the Trumpists, although not all of them are American, you can find the Trumpist mentality in every community and unfortunately most of the Farang men coming to Thailand are of such a mentality. 

 

Allow me, however, to emphasize that although both of us, you as well as I in writing what I did above, unintentionally generalize, which is wrong. I know of a number, unfortunately not too many, and they most certainly don't represent the majority, or even a sizable minority, of the male Falang in Thailand, who are liberal thinking, equality seeking people, married either to intelligent Thai ladies (and there are quite a few such ladies in Thailand) or to western ladies more or less their age and of the same intelligence level.

 

My personal advice to your is to ignore the "gentlemen's" stupid attitude, and when you have the impression that the man suggesting to you to have a cup of coffee together, is a nice person, do accept the invitation. You may, just may, be surprised.

[lannarebirth]

11 minutes ago, chilli42 said:

I respectfully submit that you are WAY overthinking things.  I am tempted to believe, based on the tone of your post, that you are full of yourself.  However, I like to think the best of people so my advice would be that you lighten up and enjoy the ride.

 

Given the likelihood you didn't see the OP's racist original posting, I think your's is the most charitable response the OP should expect.

[amykat]

7 minutes ago, jpinx said:

I pulled you up for projecting a while ago and you never responded, so maybe you are the one who needs to do some thinking  

I post with kind intentions and a firm hand :)

 

I responded to many of your posts ...I also responded to many others people's. Stop just posting crap. Put some thought into what you say.  Stop with meaningless one-liners. Impress me with something.  Where is your essay we talked about?? Do you need help with that??

Send me your photo, resume and a financial statement and we can talk!!

[true blue]

12 minutes ago, sharktooth said:

I must remember not to ask Teresa Mays opinion of brexit next time I'm in Tesco...

I very much doubt if she has a opinion on brexit either.she sounds as confused as the op.or is it a female trait.

[rijb]

Whatever the Op’s intentions were, she has succeeded in putting many TVF members on the defensive.  That includes posters who have taken ‘the best defense is a good offense’ approach.

 

So, what’s the ‘take away’ from this long and winding thread?  The answer is stereotyping.  If something bothers you or if you need help to make your point… revert to stereotyping.  

 

Stereotyping gets attention.   Stereotyping puts people on the defensive.  They say comedy depends a lot on stereotypes, because they are true.

 

Stereotyping is the one thing that intellectual (and non-intellectual) whores seem to have in common.  This thread seems to be a classic case-in-point. 

[elgordo38]

On 1/13/2017 at 10:03 PM, mesquite said:

Most western men I know here want nothing to do with same-age western women and realize much younger western women want nothing to do with them.  The men I know pretty much ignore western women.  Some have issues and anger toward western women, but I have never seen or heard of any of my friends being openly hostile.

 

The intellectual whore thing really surprises me. 

 

Truth be told, I'm as baffled as you are about the situation you describe.  Maybe someone can shed some light on it.

Your right I find the extremes she lists rather puzzling. The intellectual whore thing sure amazes me to. 

[amykat]

18 hours ago, tropo said:

I mentioned it as something that happens when travelling in farangland. I don't care about it one bit.

 

We all know why they react this way. There is no incentive for us older expats to be friendly to Western females who look down on us. Perhaps the OP doesn't have this negative impression (unlikely as that may be). It's just too bad - she's going to be labelled anyway, just as we are when we travel to farangland.

 

I'd say the main problem with the OP is she is far too sensitive and making a big deal about nothing.

 

Here is an example ..an expat who lives here, who claims Western women "look down on him" and even if he isn't sure those of us who live here really think that way, "too bad" he is going to punish us because that is how he feels he is treated when he travels back to the West.

 

When I call this to your attention, you men here, tell ME, that I am an ASS, and have a LOW OPINION of YOU!!

[dick dasterdly]

1 hour ago, lungnorm said:

What do you expect. You are living in a place that no matter where you go there you will encounter men from many different countries. These men are basically all dirty old men and are in Thailand to have sex with younger women maybe they marry them but its still the reason they are there. Most all have beer huge bellies and man boobs. They also have left or divorced their ageing overweight wives. So with all that said, most of the male ferangs living in Thailand will have super ego's as they have sex with many young Thai ladies. They think they are supermen, so when they see you they are reminded of what they left behind at home and your presence is a gentle reminder to their concience. Just ignore them and do your own thing. 

There may be a grain of truth in this insofar as I think the few Western men who are rude to Western women here behave that way because they don't like to be reminded that either 1) they've behaved badly towards an ex-wife/children or 2) they're not attractive to Western women.  I can't think of any other reason for this behaviour towards a complete stranger.

 

BUT in my personal experience the rudeness only extends to the rare 'dirty look' - not verbal insults as mentioned by the OP.

 

Living on Phuket, I've found that when 'hanging around' for some reason (waiting for a friend/supermarket checkout etc.) its likely a Western male or female will be 'friendly' - even if its just a smile/ saying 'hi' as passing - or, less frequently start a conversation.  Conversation obviously depends on the circumstances as it could be the normal laugh at something that is happening around us or be someone who is lonely or new to the country/tourist and so looking for info or feeling a bit 'lost'.

 

The OP has a point about a few Western, male expats enjoying 'intellectual' conversation with Western females here - but I'm not sure why that is a problem as most of us enjoy stimulating conversation with other people from a similar background, male or female?

[amykat]

11 hours ago, tropo said:

Of course it's on topic. Trying to moderate my post is off topic - it's not your job.

 

How expats feel about farang women is a result of how farang women feel about them - and that carries over to anywhere they may live. 

 

 

That is called circular reasoning ...it is a logical fallacy ...meaning the argument is not valid.

[Deepinthailand]

29 minutes ago, lannarebirth said:

 

Given the likelihood you didn't see the OP's racist original posting, I think your's is the most charitable response the OP should expect.

Pray tell I have read the op where is the racist bit in it??? 

[amykat]

9 hours ago, rogeroc said:

 

I don't think any of us can ignore the fact that there is a strong (generalised) anti Western women feeling amongst a lot of guys living in CM and (in my opinion) there will be good reason for that. In some ways it is no different from certain Nationalities having negative traits, Brits are thugs, Americans are brash etc. There is actually a lot of truth behind theses generalisations but at the end of the day everyone is an individual and should be treated as such. However i cannot see why any guy not being intellectually stimulated by a Thai wife would not simply do all that intellectual stuff wth his male companions, why would he seek a female for that ?   Also there are also a lot of Thai ladies out there (not excluding the bar girls) who you can really enjoy talking to for an evening, even if not about Brexit

 

Yes, why seek a woman for that??  There are a lot of men to fill all the great jobs in the world too ..why seek any women for those? Let us just be secretaries and maids and nurses ..that has worked for you in the past hasn't it?  And when you die at 30 and your children are broke and being raised by a maid in poverty ..who gives a damn?

[Calach]

I would be glad to discuss that with you around a cup of coffee. That will help me practicing my English.

[lannarebirth]

1 minute ago, Deepinthailand said:

Pray tell I have read the op where is the racist bit in it??? 

 

You may be new to the thread. In the original thread the OP posited that men sought her out for intellectual stimulation because their Thai wives weren't good for anything other than cooking, cleaning and sexual favors. She said it made her feel like an "intellectual whore" because men kept asking her to fill the gap they found in their marriages, not to mention many wanted to have sex with her, according to her. Now normally someone who made a comment like this ( a man for instance) would instantly be the object of ridicule, scorn and condemnation. We are in the process of showing how enlightened we are by pretending to treat her equally but sparing her the razzing a man would get in this circumstance.

[Destiny1990]

plenty of foreigners here will still consider to date some farang lady so not really see what you are complaining about.

[amykat]

4 hours ago, canuckamuck said:

That relates to the view that men are simple binary units. I'd hit that, or I wouldn't hit that. They don't know men are much more complex. For instance, everything gets recalculated if their friends aren't around.

 

I believe I said something about that ..in the "peer approval" section of one of my posts?

 

Can you imagine how disgusting it would be to try to date a man here, who then goes out with his buddies, who then engage in the "white whale" discussions and otherwise trash us, while extolling the virtues of bargirls and cheap sex and may participate in that himself??

 

[Deepinthailand]

12 minutes ago, lannarebirth said:

 

You may be new to the thread. In the original thread the OP posited that men sought her out for intellectual stimulation because their Thai wives weren't good for anything other than cooking, cleaning and sexual favors. She said it made her feel like an "intellectual whore" because men kept asking her to fill the gap they found in their marriages, not to mention many wanted to have sex with her, according to her. Now normally someone who made a comment like this ( a man for instance) would instantly be the object of ridicule, scorn and condemnation. We are in the process of showing how enlightened we are by pretending to treat her equally but sparing her the razzing a man would get in this circumstance.

No I read that still can't see any thing  racist in fact I saw some truth in it 

[lannarebirth]

5 minutes ago, Deepinthailand said:

No I read that still can't see any thing  racist in fact I saw some truth in it 

 

That's because it was edited out two days after the thread started (somehow). The OP you see is not the original OP.

[F4UCorsair]

2 hours ago, SoiBiker said:

What an odd comment. Do you think a man wrote it for her or something?

 

Or something.

 

If a man posted this, and the comments posted by other women, he'd be hung out to dry by the PC  brigade as a sexist, misogynistic pig.

[Surasak]

Sounds to me as if you should venture out with bill boards front an back. "Farang men, please stay away"? 

[rott]

"Thoughtful, non-hateful replies". Er, don't know much about them I'm sorry. Try sending Naam a pm, I think he might understand that sort of thing.

[SoiBiker]

6 minutes ago, lannarebirth said:

 

That's because it was edited out two days after the thread started (somehow). The OP you see is not the original OP.

 

So you think the mods here colluded with the OP somehow? What are they supposed to have removed from the post?