Intellectual Whore

[jpinx]

2 minutes ago, amykat said:

 

Sir, as you can see, I am quite busy!  You are one of the offenders who has posted off topic and not responded to a logical flow of thought and reasoning. If it wasn't clear to you ...as it wasn't to someone else, I was joking around with you about the essay.  Remember that was another time you started to discuss food  ..American vs. Western ..when you attempted to derail me by talking about me being vague because I was being "general" as I meant to be!!

 

Do you really think I will spend my time going through your posts finding which ones are "crap"?  Do you want to be friends and add to this thread? Say something funny? You also could have thought of a witty reply to what I wrote you instead of this ..."which posts were crap"?

No - I can not see - I only get a notice when something comes on TVF for me, and typing long-winded replies on a diddy mobile is a PITA. Also, the English phraseology used in some posts is unknown to me, being a native English speaker.  The OP wanted to vent - that's fine, but a female venting in a male-dominated public forum is always going to be tricky.  The thread seems to have wandered off into other realms now, more to do with personal, verbal baiting and insulting.  I suggested 2 things - projections and "choosing to be happy" - well known in my culture, but seemingly unknown or rejected by most in here - both men and women.  For TVF to allow such a sexist and racist thread is a bit of an eye-opener!

[tropo]

1 minute ago, SoiBiker said:

I'm not sure how you can tell the difference between a tourist and an expat enjoying a weekend off by the beach. In fact, I'm pretty sure you can't, which is why you don't think there are any female expats here. Confirmation bias, for sure.

 

I'm pretty sure I can... so how about we leave it at that and stop bickering over something that doesn't have any relevance to the points I made earlier. The problem of negativity can come from female expats or tourists.

 

If it makes you feel any better - I don't converse with any farang females in Pattaya - either tourists, illegal workers or expats.

 

Cheers!

[papa al]

How much can be earned as an intellectual whore?

I would consider it if lucrative.

[Berkshire]

I have not read all the posts on this thread, but did read the OP.  I'm surprised and appalled that she gets treated that way.  I've met some farang guys who think that way (towards farang women), but I've never seen them engage said women directly.  So that's why I'm surprised.  But some on this thread seems to be taking it personally and firing back with bad intentions.  If you're not the kind of men she's talking about, why would you be offended?  

[SoiBiker]

1 minute ago, papa al said:

How much can be earned as an intellectual whore?

I would consider it if lucrative.

 

I'll discuss Barthes' approach to semiotics for 1000b per hour. 1500 if you want me to take my top off.

[Chicog]

8 minutes ago, LivinLOS said:

 

And here comes the persecution complex.. 

 

You could have finished that post there.

[rijb]

5 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

I have not read all the posts on this thread, but did read the OP.  I'm surprised and appalled that she gets treated that way.  I've met some farang guys who think that way (towards farang women), but I've never seen them engage said women directly.  So that's why I'm surprised.  But some on this thread seems to be taking it personally and firing back with bad intentions.  If you're not the kind of men she's talking about, why would you be offended?  

 

They're offended for the people that are not here to defend themselves... whores and sexpats.

[SoiBiker]

Me so brainy. Me discuss string theory with you long time.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

6 hours ago, SoiBiker said:

It's fascinating how many of the responses - particularly those who have struggled to understand the OP - have focussed on the question of what is her problem, or what does she want?

 

This being a forum, isn't that how things work?

 

5 hours ago, SoiBiker said:

What an odd comment. Do you think a man wrote it for her or something?

 

There are some terms in the post that are a lot more frequently used by men.  To be honest I thought it an attempt to stir up some life again in this forum which seemed to go really quiet in recent weeks. 

 

It worked. :)

[ThaiWai]

When they find out you are an intellectual whore do they walk away looking for the regular kind?

[MaeJoMTB]

I don't speak to other people based on their age, sex, race or nationality.

If you're jogging or mountain biking through the jungle and I jog into you, I'll probably stop and say hello.

If you are racing a road bike up to Wat Doi Suthep, and we pass or match speeds, I'll probably say hello when we meet at the smoothie shop.

 

If we appear to share no common interests apart from skin colour, I'll almost certainly ignore you, mommy taught me not to speak to strangers.

[roo860]

I suspect professor Stephen Hawking would struggle to understand this topic.

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thaivisa Connect mobile app

[NancyL]

1 hour ago, SoiBiker said:

 

As someone who's married to a western woman, I've had a lot of unpleasant stuff said about my wife by people on here.

 

Just for the record, SoiBiker is NOT Hubby.

[NancyL]

Wow, 23 pages and still going strong.  It has a long way to go to beat CM's favorite thread, the venerable "Rain" thread, started in 2009 and still hanging in there at 123 pages.

 

I think I'll bring up the subject at the Ladies Lunch on Thursday, if there's a lull in the conversation.   This thread, not rain.

[elgordo38]

3 hours ago, lannarebirth said:

 

You may be new to the thread. In the original thread the OP posited that men sought her out for intellectual stimulation because their Thai wives weren't good for anything other than cooking, cleaning and sexual favors. She said it made her feel like an "intellectual whore" because men kept asking her to fill the gap they found in their marriages, not to mention many wanted to have sex with her, according to her. Now normally someone who made a comment like this ( a man for instance) would instantly be the object of ridicule, scorn and condemnation. We are in the process of showing how enlightened we are by pretending to treat her equally but sparing her the razzing a man would get in this circumstance.

I have met all the gap fillers I need in the west thank you. She is a lady and should be treated as such. I sense a certain bitterness in her statement. If she is on the younger side and good looking she may have a problem here. If she is a rose well that can be a thorny issue. 

[tubby johnson]

18 minutes ago, NancyL said:

Wow, 23 pages and still going strong.  It has a long way to go to beat CM's favorite thread, the venerable "Rain" thread, started in 2009 and still hanging in there at 123 pages.

 

I think I'll bring up the subject at the Ladies Lunch on Thursday, if there's a lull in the conversation.   This thread, not rain.

 

Is the Ladies Lunch light on the whoring and heavy on the intellectual side? Then expect this dashingly handsome farang to turn up for some fascinating conversations. Please send the snooty OP an invite too.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Close-Read time!

 

Original text in pink.

 

----

 

I know this post will spark controversy.  Yet, I hope a civil discourse can ensue from this.

Moderators, please monitor this one closely, as I'm sure there will be many less-than-helpful comments...

 

With about 40 posts to your name at the time of posting, you have really a lot of experience with what to expect in forum comments.

 

i am a Western woman living in Chiang Mai.  Although here on a retirement visa, I fall into a slightly younger demographic than many.

 

If you are here on a retirement visa then by definition you are over 50 years old.  You fall into the same demographic as almost everyone else here, 35-65 or so with a couple people older or younger than that.  Also, why does the demographic makeup of the forum matter here?

 

I happen to be fair of face and have a nice figure.  I live in a Thai neighborhood, and have good relations with my neighbors.  I dress modestly, speak softly, respectfully and kindly do all.  I privately do a lot for the community, and ask for nothing back. I am a "model" Western resident of Thailand.  

 

All that, AND you are modest too.  You'll do well come Farang of the Year Award time.

 

The thing I have noticed is how Western men respond to me.  I have  been to LOS many times before making this my permanent home.  I did not come here with an expectation of marriage/relationship, and my eyes were quite open about my "lack of prospects."

 

"LOS".. that word pretty much shows you had a whole lot more time on Farang forums. And with so many LOS visits over the years, you only just registered here on Thaivisa.  K. 

 

That having been said, I did not expect to find:

1). Open hostility for me as a farang woman, and

2) Western men seeking me out as (for lack of better terms) as their "intellectual whore."

 

So... not such a lack of prospects then after all?   Also are we completely sure the hostility is due to you being a Farang woman and not something more specific?  Especially as other Farang women have commented that they rarely if ever experience that?  (The general ranting is clear to see on forums including this topic, but to actually show open hostility to a woman right in front is a lot less common.)

 

First, let me speak of open hostility.  I have had Western men tell me I should not be entitled to a retirement visa, as Thailand is "for them."

 

Men, as in more than one?   I ask because it's a really odd comment for someone to make, showing not much understanding of how visas work in Thailand.  'There's always one' of course, but multiple men telling you this?

 

I have also been called a "fat cow," which is laughable.  I may not be a tiny Thai, but I look lovely, folks--unless one just hates the look of a Western woman.   This has wounded and surprised me.

 

Without any prior conversation or exchange, someone calls you a fat cow out of the blue?  By a person who wasn't even a little overweight himself?

 

Second, the "intellectual whore" business.   Often this happens in queues: the airport, at Tops/Rimping, the Post Office, Immigration, waiting for transport, etc.  Western men will chat me up about Brexit, US elections, and world affairs in general.  

 

Yeah, world affairs are among the first topics in 'how to chat someone up' booklets.   Are you confusing chatting someone up with 'making polite conversation'?  

 

They seem undernourished in speaking to a bright farang woman.  Sometimes there is a request for my phone number to "have coffee," or something similar .  Most always,, they have an Thai wife at home..

 

I'd call the cops right then and there to haul them off to jail.  Inviting you for a coffee. The nerve.

 

To me, asking for my time in this way seems to a form of marital cheating.  I feel I'm being asked to be their "intellectual whore."  

 

No, you are being asked for a coffee, by a person who met a fellow expat that he enjoyed talking to.  Good thing you weren't here in the 1980s, 1990s, because EVERYONE talked to each other back then.  You'd have a nervous breakdown. Count your blessings by the fact that most expats these days have eyes only for their phone and avoid as much as a friendly nod when meeting another foreigner.

 

It doesn''t seem right to me for these Western men (often showing open disdain for their female counterparts), to seek out someone like me for their unmet needs.

 

Making polite conversation / making friends with another person from a similar background equals unmet needs...  I'm trying to imagine how needy and desperate we all must seem on this forum!

 

iI realize I may bring up the ire of Western men (i.e. I remind them of their ex-wife/boss/co-worker),

 

No, my boss and co workers are all quite sane in how they perceive social encounters. 

 

yet this love/hate relationship is something I am struggling to understand.

in essence, why do some men show their contempt for me at times, only to ask for my intellectual company other times?

 

All of this is made up, isn't it?  When composing a post for effect someone might come up with a line like this, but in real life someone really doesn't call you a fat cow, and then asks you out for an intellectual coffee after that.

 

I ask for thoughtful, non-hateful replies only.

 

You get a little of the one with the other, but overall I think you hit the jackpot. :)

Edited January 17, 2017 by WinnieTheKhwai

[Khon Kaen Dave]

Simbaya

Well,you posted your feelings,and you got a lot of what you didnt ask for. Unfortunately,there are a lot of men living here that are misogynists,and genuinely  do like like Western women.Yes they do consider them imposing on a all male part of the world that they consider their space,They came here because they were either hurt very badly or they were burnt by a wife/girl friend and lost everything to ,what they consider an evil ,nasty bitch.They came here because they heard that Thai women were submissive and did what they were told.Another completely wrong assumption. An 'intellectual whore' ?why would you put yourself at risk of enticing remarks from men that think you are putting yourself very high on the intelligence ladder.

You will get a lot of this because you obviously have a brain and are eloquent and not stupid.That alone will piss some of our brothers off because you do not fit in the pigeon hole of ex pat. You had better get used to this sort of treatment until you are seen regularly in your place of residence(ie 7/11/tesco's markets etc)In the mean time ,because of this treatment,do not br afraid to enter into comversation with felang men that approach you, speak as you would normally,and when/if it gets uncomfortable,then make your excuses etc.I myself,sometimes miss having conversations about classic music,book's wines,history,and other subjects,but thats life here.I wish you luck in your endevours to be accepted on your own merits. I am sure it will work for you.

[true blue]

Any long timers rember the post about 5/6 years ago about male divorces being lucky to have found Thailand it was started by some poster with bangkok in his .name it went on for months and it was in the same theme as this one but more heated arguments by the women posters.fantastic post.

[MaeJoMTB]

17 minutes ago, true blue said:

with bangkok in his .name it went on for months and it was in the same theme as this one but more heated arguments by the women posters.fantastic post.

 

I think you mean heated arguments from the men pretending to be women posters.

(there's always a lot of men claiming to be women in Thailand, some are quite convincing)

In the early internet days we used to say, all those claiming to be men in chat rooms are middle aged balding men, all those claiming to be women in chat rooms are middle aged balding man and all those claiming to be children in chat rooms are FBI agents.

 

I can't see forums being much different.

Edited January 17, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[soalbundy]

who was going to pay for the coffee ?

[Chicog]

39 minutes ago, NancyL said:

Wow, 23 pages and still going strong.  It has a long way to go to beat CM's favorite thread, the venerable "Rain" thread, started in 2009 and still hanging in there at 123 pages.

 

I think I'll bring up the subject at the Ladies Lunch on Thursday, if there's a lull in the conversation.   This thread, not rain.

What's on the menu? Soup?

 

[Trujillo]

For 1,000 baht she'll blow your mind. 

[true blue]

11 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

 

I think you mean heated arguments from the men pretending to be women posters.

(there's always a lot of men claiming to be women in Thailand, some are quite convincing)

In the early internet days we used to say, all those claiming to be men in chat rooms are middle aged balding men, all those claiming to be women in chat rooms are middle aged balding man and all those claiming to be children in chat rooms are FBI agents.

 

I can't see forums being much different.

 

[HooHaa]

12 minutes ago, Trujillo said:

For 1,000 baht she'll blow your mind. 

 

thats actually funny.

[Deepinthailand]

2 hours ago, hobz said:

From now on all western men will completely ignore you. And you will create a new thread "why are western men ignoring me?". Future has been seen!

No not all by any means but hopefully the fools who have passed on there derogatory remarks will leave you alone

[canthai55]

On 1/16/2017 at 5:41 PM, TallGuyJohninBKK said:

Wow!  This thread is really pulling all of ThaiVisa's resident gender-equity experts out of the closet....

 

Gender has SFA with my reason for posting. Actions of the people described was the only criteria. If it talks like a cow ...

Edited January 17, 2017 by canthai55

[Calach]

Apart from the derogatory remarks and vulgar behaviours you encountered that are indeed out of line, the very concept of "intellectual whore" and finding some marital cheating in what is basically common curiosity and seeking intellectual interaction with culturally similar people, is a blunt example of over-intellectualizing a trivial fact to turn it into an issue. This is a perversion of intelligence and of feminist awareness to create a problem where there isn't one, just by creating and manipulating vocabulary. 

 

It's quite childish.

[true blue]

1 hour ago, MaeJoMTB said:

 

I think you mean heated arguments from the men pretending to be women posters.

(there's always a lot of men claiming to be women in Thailand, some are quite convincing)

In the early internet days we used to say, all those claiming to be men in chat rooms are middle aged balding men, all those claiming to be women in chat rooms are middle aged balding man and all those claiming to be children in chat rooms are FBI agents.

 

I can't see forums being much different.

So you rember the

at post

1 hour ago, MaeJoMTB said:

 

I think you mean heated arguments from the men pretending to be women posters.

(there's always a lot of men claiming to be women in Thailand, some are quite convincing)

In the early internet days we used to say, all those claiming to be men in chat rooms are middle aged balding men, all those claiming to be women in chat rooms are middle aged balding man and all those claiming to be children in chat rooms are FBI agents.

 

I can't see forums being much different.

So you rember that post on tv.any info

[cmsally]

14 minutes ago, Calach said:

Apart from the derogatory remarks and vulgar behaviours you encountered that are indeed out of line, the very concept of "intellectual whore" and finding some marital cheating in what is basically common curiosity and seeking intellectual interaction with culturally similar people, is a blunt example of over-intellectualizing a trivial fact to turn it into an issue. This is a perversion of intelligence and of feminist awareness to create a problem where there isn't one, just by creating and manipulating vocabulary. 

 

It's quite childish.

 

Says the guy who wanted to "practice his English"

Progress seems to be happening at an astounding rate!

 

Quote

That will help me practicing my English.