Thai women are they all tight wads with money?

[williamgeorgeallen]

2 hours ago, Enoon said:

 

Well done for attempting paragraphs.

 

Try to remember "i before e except after c" (usually).

 

The incident you describe in your OP sounds like the sort of thing that might play out between two insecure/jealous teenagers (or emotionally cracked/stunted adults).  Has that been the story of all your relationships?

 

Well you did ask for "thoughts".

 

That's what you get for going public.

 

 

no one likes a grammar nazi. people should be allowed to post on her without being hassled about spelling, especially non english speakers. people should try to stay on topic. you want to talk about spelling start another post.

[bazza73]

I leave loose change. If that's offensive, too bad. Thais almost never tip, so I'm at least leaving something.

As for the OP,  my Thai GF would be my ex-GF in short order if she disrespected me that way in public, or with her friends.

[650721]

Done and dusted then. Next !!!!

[thailand49]

I cringe when I hear stories like this it as if I'm right there with you.  It is a real shame but your story to many if nothing but it runs real deep as to what is wrong here with people. Of course I'm just talking in general there are people and problem similar throughout the world and society and culture.

This is why I feel Thais don't really have close friends relationship, from my experience it is best friends one day the next they are sworn enemy.

It is really like the shoe is on the other foot now so it is my turn to step on them just I was step on. I'm not a big tip person,  but I'm reasonable?  Local Thai places I just do as the Thai do, but if it is a big restaurant entertainment place I let the misses do the tipping. At a Farang place depending on the venue, I might just tip from 20-100 Baht. Depends on the situation?

 

Here the people seem to be selfish one sided with any thought of a compromise.  It took years for my misses to understand me and my personality. A example,  for years we stacked and waited for the recycle people to come?  When they came weigh the stuff and what I get 40 baht tops. I saw a old couple running through garbage outside my house for recycle thinking if anyone is willing to do this deserve free?  I called them over and just had them take it. My neighbor for years look at me like I was trying to show them up. It took years of living next to me to know there are people who help without a motive and I don't have to pray each week or holiday to feel good about things.

 

 

[The Dark Lord]

19 hours ago, marko kok prong said:

I think i did this by driving out to her friends,and texting her later to tell her to mind her own buisness in such matters,and i was the Guv'nor not her,have not heard from her,to be honest not that bothered,i guess she lost face,and is stewing somewhere,mate she needs me far more than i her,that's the bottom line. But sometimes i think they have no memory retention,i have warned her before over other issue's but it seems to be forgotton in a matter of weeks.

Dear Marko, 

 

You have been contributing very sagely on a separate thread but with a familiar vein hence I felt the desire to reciprocate. 

 

From my bitter experience she will never change. I may be totally wrong but she is already displaying (what I refer to as) Channel3 soap syndrome behavioural patterns and it is virtually impossible for a non indigenous to persuade an indig that such behaviour is not acceptable in civilised society as the non indig are a secondary race in their eyes.

 

The subsequent sulking and refusing to respond which will last as long as the money does, goes a long way to reinforce that theory.

 

my advice, do what I am going to do, get out!

 

all the best

 

TDL 

 

Edited July 12, 2017 by The Dark Lord
Self serving grammar nazi

[IAMHERE]

13 hours ago, samsensam said:

Now the thing here is she is well looked after by me

 

there is a whole wonderful world out there in thailand where you dont have to pay someone to be your friend/girlfriend/boyfriend, there are polite, educated, attractive people with good jobs and interesting lives who make great friends/girlfriends/boyfriends.

 

get out of the bars, away from locals who hang around bars and stop paying people to be with you, then your life in the kingdom will be enriched.

Interesting; I thought the OP was about a girls attempt to tell him how to live his life; now you are. That guy has a good attitude about the girls, just wanted to post about a small annoyance. Not sure about how he takes advice on how to live his life from others but I have an idea.

By the way, where did it say she was a bar girl?

[little mary sunshine]

Very, very careful, tight with "Her" money....but

willing to spend, all she doesn't  sock away of mine.

 

If she knew my real income she would shi*!!!!

 

"Friends quote"

Edited July 12, 2017 by little mary sunshine

[David in the north]

Only if it's their own....................

[colinneil]

Having read most of the posts on this thread, i have to put in my 2 bahts worth.

Just give the wife/ girlfriend your money/ cards etc, and let her take care of things, problem solved.

I do no problems, this morning wife gave me my spends for the week 200 baht... WOW i am a lucky boy.

 

 

Before you start telling me how stupid i am, stop and think, in my situation it is not easy for me to get to an ATM, so the wife does it for me.

In the three and a half years we have been doing that not 1 baht taken or unaccounted for.

Not all Thai women only care about money.

Edited July 12, 2017 by colinneil

[JayBird]

21 hours ago, pgrahmm said:

My wife budgets carefully & keeps a ledger of how everything is spent month to month.....If I ask about something we did or bought 2-3-4+ years ago she will have the answer in under 10 minutes....Even meals eaten out....

She's not once caused a scene like that but has sometimes asked about a tip amount once we're in the car....

 

We kind of got the reverse of what happened to you in Paris....It was toward the end of the trip & after the meal she counted out bills and also counted out the small change putting it with the bills to make use of it before our trip ended making sure to leave a nice tip....

 

Typical French waiter poof-ily offended/contempt yanked up the bills scattering the change across the table & haughtily strode away.....

My wife was totally taken aback - stunned she looked across the table to me and said almost hurt "that's good money".....I had to laugh it was so comical on both sides to watch....

 

I don't think I'd put up with the nonsense that you seem to.....

 

She actually manages money spent better than me....One daughter is like that too - the other is learning slowly....

Cani borrow your wife to teach my GF these skills. I tried to no avail. My GF doesn't waste money, just doesn't keep track and wonders at the end of the month where it all went ( in an honest confused way).

 

As to the OP:

 

I think giving coins instead of paper is not considered as nice?

 

She not tight, just not polite or well tempered. More education and temper tantrum training needed.

 

 

[The Dark Lord]

1 hour ago, colinneil said:

Having read most of the posts on this thread, i have to put in my 2 bahts worth.

Just give the wife/ girlfriend your money/ cards etc, and let her take care of things, problem solved.

I do no problems, this morning wife gave me my spends for the week 200 baht... WOW i am a lucky boy.

 

 

Before you start telling me how stupid i am, stop and think, in my situation it is not easy for me to get to an ATM, so the wife does it for me.

In the three and a half years we have been doing that not 1 baht taken or unaccounted for.

Not all Thai women only care about money.

Dear Cranky old one, as many of us have observed from your posts, you found the diamond amongst the coal deposits. Sadly not many of the rest of us were so lucky and whilst in their own way their hearts are in the right place, they cannot help themselves from believing they are the chosen ones. It's not even their fault as years of being told that has ingrained that in their thinking. 

 

When  I look back at my shambles of a marriage where I nursed her through a particularly bad set of years of psychosis  not once have I ever heard the expressions thank you or I'm sorry. 

 

For me that hat is just unacceptable to take take take be it money, care or my soul so I am drawing a line under my shambles, blaming none but myself  and looking to find a proper life. 

Edited July 12, 2017 by The Dark Lord

[Grumpy Duck]

I have a dear Thai friend back home in California. When I met her she was a server in a cheap chain restaurant and loved it when I left my usual $5 tip for a $12 meal. After ten years she finally saved enough to buy her own Thai restaurant. She would always tell me not to tip her staff too much as she didn't want them spoiled. $1 on a $12 meal was fine. I occasionally wonder if she feared her staff leaving and buying a Thai restaurant with my $5.00 tips? 5555

 

 

[transam]

5 minutes ago, Grumpy Duck said:

I have a dear Thai friend back home in California. When I met her she was a server in a cheap chain restaurant and loved it when I left my usual $5 tip for a $12 meal. After ten years she finally saved enough to buy her own Thai restaurant. She would always tell me not to tip her staff too much as she didn't want them spoiled. $1 on a $12 meal was fine. I occasionally wonder if she feared her staff leaving and buying a Thai restaurant with my $5.00 tips? 5555

 

 

I thought the USA added 15% "service charge".....The tip....?

[steve73]

I've talked to a few Thais previously about tips & tipping.

 

It seems that a 20bt note is preferable to a heap of coins that total a lot more - especially if you are giving it to the server rather than simply leaving it on the tray... It seems it's all about image & face!!

 

I usually round up the bill by 20bt or so and simply leave the correct money, waving that I do not require change... On the odd occasion I've miscalculated, any excess "tip" is often returned - I usually leave it for their honestly (unless it's too much).

 

If I don't have the correct money, I'll usually leave one of two 20bt notes, and keep the coins for the 7-11..  On too many occasions, especially in bars where you are not known, an excess of coins are left in the expectation you'll simply leave them all.

[marko kok prong]

13 hours ago, Chou Anou said:

Please don't make generalizations such as "Thai women" (referring to the title of your thread) when, as is clearly obvious in your OP, you're talking about sex workers, which I suspect is the only type of women in Thailand you've been around. Nothing against sex workers, mind you--they're just doing a job--but they and their specific subculture does NOT represent all "Thai women."  Imagine if a foreigner came to your country, and spent all his time interacting with sex workers?  He would be far from qualified to make generalizations about the behavior of "all UK women," "all US women," "all German women," etc.

She is not or ever has worked in a bar,i was talking about the local bar in our town in north central Thailand,not Pattaya or Phuket.

[The Dark Lord]

10 minutes ago, marko kok prong said:

She is not or ever has worked in a bar,i was talking about the local bar in our town in north central Thailand,not Pattaya or Phuket.

Hey Marko old chum, you've been here long enough to learn to ignore "the angry farang"  They rarely have anything constructive or supportive to say and spend their pointless lives trying to put others down. 

 

Riding above and over such nonsense makes you the better man not only in your heart but in the eyes of the intelligentsia, some if whom have been known to post on TVF from time to time................

 

 

Edited July 12, 2017 by The Dark Lord
Congenital an irreversible insanity

[Grumpy Duck]

26 minutes ago, transam said:

I thought the USA added 15% "service charge".....The tip....?

It is unusual for an establishment to automatically add a service charge unless it is a large group. At least in my experience in CA and AZ. They will usually state that on the menu. 

[pgrahmm]

1 hour ago, JayBird said:

Cani borrow your wife to teach my GF these skills. I tried to no avail. My GF doesn't waste money, just doesn't keep track and wonders at the end of the month where it all went ( in an honest confused way).

 

As to the OP:

 

I think giving coins instead of paper is not considered as nice?

 

She not tight, just not polite or well tempered. More education and temper tantrum training needed.

 

 

Nothing fancy...She just keeps one ledger with amounts spent day to day & for what....She keeps receipts or if no receipt given (like a local market) writes it down in a small pad & transfers to her ledger - I give her any receipts from my spending....

 

At the end of the month she totals up her different categories....Then starts a new month.....She'll put a house doodle or cat face or other doodle for easy review....(Thai way)....

She started doing this on her own because she couldn't know/recall/remember where all the money was spent....

 

Now she knows how, why, & where spent and if something is out of line....

 

Works like a charm for a lot of reasons......

[transam]

6 minutes ago, Grumpy Duck said:

It is unusual for an establishment to automatically add a service charge unless it is a large group. At least in my experience in CA and AZ. They will usually state that on the menu. 

Not for me it wasn't, and I can go back to 1989......Transport cafes no, or eat all you want, no....But restaurant, yes...

[marko kok prong]

17 minutes ago, steve73 said:

I've talked to a few Thais previously about tips & tipping.

 

It seems that a 20bt note is preferable to a heap of coins that total a lot more - especially if you are giving it to the server rather than simply leaving it on the tray... It seems it's all about image & face!!

 

I usually round up the bill by 20bt or so and simply leave the correct money, waving that I do not require change... On the odd occasion I've miscalculated, any excess "tip" is often returned - I usually leave it for their honestly (unless it's too much).

 

If I don't have the correct money, I'll usually leave one of two 20bt notes, and keep the coins for the 7-11..  On too many occasions, especially in bars where you are not known, an excess of coins are left in the expectation you'll simply leave them all.

The fact is though that she scanned the coins,and replaced 59 baht with 20,now i appreciate the cultural insight given on here which to be honest i was unaware of the coins vs notes thing. But my main problem is it was none of her buisness. Just to clear some other things up,to the best of my knowledge she has never been a bar girl,she did work at Seagate[hard drives] in Bangkok at some stage and possibly did some freelancing,but i have never probed her about this as i consider what she did before is not my buisness.She is not my wife but my Girlfriend for over a year now,mostly she is okay,but she is tight with money,that i have noticed,this is why i suspect it was more about making 39 b than the coins,i treid talking on the phone last night but this ended up in a shouting match so i gave up,i tried texting today but she must have blocked my number,as they would not go through,so now i am just going to leave it,i have tried to be reasonable,but i fear the loss of face i caused her when i returned her 20baht ,and told her straight her actions were unacceptable in front of her friends was too much to bear,so now i will leave it ,it is up to her how she proceeds,i like her ,but i would not be overly upset if it is finished,sure i have spent a few bob on her house ,gold,a new motorsai,but nothing i cannot afford to loose,luckily i am in a good financial position,but i cannot be controlled by a woman,it is not in my DNA.

[marko kok prong]

18 minutes ago, The Dark Lord said:

Hey Marko old chum, you've been here long enough to learn to ignore "the angry farang"  They rarely have anything constructive or supportive to say and spend their pointless lives trying to put others down. 

 

Riding above and over such nonsense makes you the better man not only in your heart but in the eyes of the intelligentsia, some if whom have been known to post on TVF from time to time................

 

 

Thanks mate,yeah i know topics like this always attract some of the bottom feeders,it's only to be expected,one tries to ignore them until the beer intake makes it difficult.

[transam]

3 minutes ago, marko kok prong said:

The fact is though that she scanned the coins,and replaced 59 baht with 20,now i appreciate the cultural insight given on here which to be honest i was unaware of the coins vs notes thing. But my main problem is it was none of her buisness. Just to clear some other things up,to the best of my knowledge she has never been a bar girl,she did work at Seagate[hard drives] in Bangkok at some stage and possibly did some freelancing,but i have never probed her about this as i consider what she did before is not my buisness.She is not my wife but my Girlfriend for over a year now,mostly she is okay,but she is tight with money,that i have noticed,this is why i suspect it was more about making 39 b than the coins,i treid talking on the phone last night but this ended up in a shouting match so i gave up,i tried texting today but she must have blocked my number,as they would not go through,so now i am just going to leave it,i have tried to be reasonable,but i fear the loss of face i caused her when i returned her 20baht ,and told her straight her actions were unacceptable in front of her friends was too much to bear,so now i will leave it ,it is up to her how she proceeds,i like her ,but i would not be overly upset if it is finished,sure i have spent a few bob on her house ,gold,a new motorsai,but nothing i cannot afford to loose,luckily i am in a good financial position,but i cannot be controlled by a woman,it is not in my DNA.

Correct stance with your situation....

[Grumpy Duck]

3 minutes ago, transam said:

Not for me it wasn't, and I can go back to 1989......Transport cafes no, or eat all you want, no....But restaurant, yes...

Experience all the way back to 1989, I yield to your vast culinary experience. I only lived in CA since 1964. I have never heard of a "transport cafe".  In Los Angeles, Orange County, San Diego and San Francisco counties I have never dined at a place that automatically charged a service charge. Sales tax yes, service charge, no. Again unless it was a large group of five or more persons. And that includes zero to five star establishments. 

[transam]

7 minutes ago, Grumpy Duck said:

Experience all the way back to 1989, I yield to your vast culinary experience. I only lived in CA since 1964. I have never heard of a "transport cafe".  In Los Angeles, Orange County, San Diego and San Francisco counties I have never dined at a place that automatically charged a service charge. Sales tax yes, service charge, no. Again unless it was a large group of five or more persons. And that includes zero to five star establishments. 

Chummy, in LA we ate at a transport cafe that only spoke Spanish, was 1999......

Edited July 12, 2017 by transam

[pgrahmm]

1 minute ago, transam said:

Chummy, in LA we ate at a transport cafe that only spoke Spanish, was 1995......

We call them Taco Trucks...

[transam]

2 minutes ago, pgrahmm said:

We call them Taco Trucks...

Sorry, I altered it to 1999, but I was still a Gringo.....

[Grumpy Duck]

Just now, transam said:

Chummy, in LA we ate at a transport cafe that only spoke Spanish, was 1995......

Again, I never heard of the term "Transport cafe" I will take a wild guess that you are not a US native. When you use the term "we" I may make a guess it may have been a group? Perhaps over 5 people?

 

3 minutes ago, pgrahmm said:

We call them Taco Trucks...

Ahhh, aka roach coaches. 

[reenatinnakor]

I had an argument with the gf for her tipping someone 60 baht just for serving drinks. 20 baht is enough. If they get 20 baht from every customer all night then they will do well. I don't owe them a living.

[transam]

1 minute ago, Grumpy Duck said:

Again, I never heard of the term "Transport cafe" I will take a wild guess that you are not a US native. When you use the term "we" I may make a guess it may have been a group? Perhaps over 5 people?

 

Ahhh, aka roach coaches. 

Seems you nooo comprendie...But for you to comprendie in your lingo it was a truck stop, three English guys in LA that don't speak Spanish ....

[Goldbear]

Interesting comments about tipping with notes vs coins. I'd never heard that.