Confused over Thai girlfriend

[Livinglife1]

Hello

 

Another Thai girlfriend issue.

I don't want to stereotype Thai girls but we all know some are just after sponsors, let me make it clear I have been with a bar girl and have been burnt in the past.

 

anyway I have been Thailand a few times for long periods of time. I come to Thailand December (now February) first night I meet a girl in a club (hush in koh samui) we get on really well I go home with her and we are with each other everyday and night apart from when she is at work (works for a wine company distributing large scale orders to hotels restaurants etc I know this is true as I have been to her office and even gone with her to help with deliveries and gain new customers) we spoke while she was at work still via call or message.

 

i could not fault her she is perfect in beauty,personality affection towards me and she works really hard.

 

she helped me get a bike choose a school to learn Thai language and find an apartment (which I hardly stayed because I was at her house)

ive met all her friends and her younger sister, I have not met her mum or grandma but she wants me too.

she would not let me spend my money all the time we would take it in turns at restaurants or she will cook for me. Her fridge broke i offered to buy her one but she would not let me.

 

we moved house and I helped with everything physical, she will be getting promoted to manger at her branch and has to go to the main office in BKK,

she has asked me to come with her.

 

she told me her friends like me (which is important in Thailand )

have been to their houses etc.

and she wants me to move in with her.

 

we had a little argument one night two weeks ago (she was on period at the time) 

we did not speak the next day untill 5:30 pm. 

She said let's forget and renew start fresh to which I agreed 

she also told me everything was better when she met me.

 

three days later we have a silly little debate over Tesco lotus points, I go to her house at 6pm to talk and she seems a little off with me so I say I will stay at my apartment. We end up not speaking for 4 days (I try calling and message but she ignores it)

i go round one morning before work and she seems a little stressed.

she tells me we will talk tomorrow so I leave .

 

next day at 6pm she answers my call seems normal again about 2 mins in she tells me I will call you back( must be a customer phoning to place an order) she does not call back.

 

so I ring and text a few hours later, she message me saying I'm really tired and need some space I hope you understand the last week has been really hard fir me.

 

i message back saying ok i understand your tired get some sleep I will come and see you tomorrow.

 

next day I go round to see her with flowers and we speak 

 

she says you think I'm bad person, I say no your not talk to me.

she tells me she had a farang boyfriend for two years but they break up 4 weeks before she met me, she thought they had finished for good but her ex bf mum had called her to say I think you should sort it out.

 

im shocked 

she tells me she loves me and cares for me but they have a lot of history she doesn't know what to do

 

its hard for me but I tell her I have strong feelings for you but if he makes you happy then I want you to be happy and can we still be friends to which she agrees I ask take her to dinner that night she agrees and I leave.

 

not a hour goes by and she calls me and says where are you , what are you doing hope your ok.

i say I'm not ok but I will have to be and she says I'm sorry, I'm not doing anything come round.

 

i go round and we speak and we go see her friends everything Is ok I assume she has chosen me.

that night in bed she tells me she doesn't know what to do.

i tell her how I feel she tells me she feels for me too and the she turns over kisses me cuddles me and we get physical.

 

next day she ask me to move in still and I move in.

 

everything is back to normal she even took the day off work to spend with me and we got physical a number of times.

 

valentines day comes I say I want to take out for a nice meal she says it will cost a lot of money I will cook for us.

 

she even brought me and her matching rings on the same finger on the same hand.

 

last night laying in bed I see a fb message and I know it's her ex she quickly wipes the message of the home screen.

 

i say is that your ex she says yes, I say what is going on with us I thought we were together she says I don't know it's hard I hate myself.

 

i say when I leave Thailand are we finished she says no.

she also told me I treat her better than he ever did.

im not sure if I feel the same about him (her ex) untill we speak face to face.

 

im so confused she tells me one thing but her actions tell me she likes me I really like her and believe you should fight for what you love.

 

has anyone experienced this?? 

 

 

Kind regards 

 

[Kadilo]

No, and if I did I would be on my bike. Life's too short for all that crap. Not for anyone to tell you what to do but do you seriously want to be with someone who behaves like that?


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[HooHaa]

sounds to me like she is being straight up with you and she has a hard decision to make.

i have certainly been in her position over past relationships, and i have been in your position as well.

people have pasts,  people can have feelings for more than one other.

as long as shes honest with you, and you enjoy her company see where it goes.

 

If this whole thing is too much for you kiss her goodbye. 
 

[Rc2702]

Damn man thought I was in London reading the agony aunt page for a moment there.

 

Ok she could be for real but if that's the case you are the rebound guy and that guy normally loses.

 

Only way to know in this scenario is if you are both there. Which way she turn. Sounds like he could be local or has been and she's been dipping both of you.

[ezzra]

I  got turned off women just by reading your post, best is not to overthink any relations with the

local lasses, just wing it mate, i have been here for over 30 years and i still can't figure them

out and i speak the local lingo well....

[Kinnock]

This is Thailand, not Europe or US, aim for perfection in a partner and you'll find it.  Mood swings, uncertainty, keeping you hanging on - these are all the games girls play when there's short supply of good girlfriend material and the guy is desperately trying to hang on to her.

 

Thailand is like a huge car showroom filled with exotic machinery for you to try, and only when you find that one special vehicle, with the looks, ride, color extras and even your favorite music pre-installed and the Bluetooth set up to your phone do you take one home for keeps.

 

If anyone ever feels they need to post a Thai Girlfriend query on a public forum, then they are with the wrong girl.  Take a few more test drives, find one with a smoother ride and a lower mileage.

[Jip99]

11 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

 

Thailand is like a huge car showroom filled with exotic machinery for you to try............................

 

 

 

 

Plenty of old bangers on display, that is for sure.....

[jackdd]

If you are happy with her and can accept the amount of bullshit you stay with her. If you are not happy you go out and find a new one. Quite easy to find a cute GF in Thailand  

We can't tell if she is a "good" or "bad" girl or something in between just from the few things that you told us, so you have to judge it by yourself.

[petermik]

Walk away ASAP.........you do not need this in your life

[steven100]

No ... never experienced that ,   but you should take up writing books.

[colinneil]

Sounds like you are both immature, behaving like children, sulking over silly petty things.

You are not ready for a steady long term relationship.

Get out/ sit back/ grow up, then start again.

[BobbyL]

Isn't this the same as the other thread?

 

 

[simon43]

Now I know why I enjoy solitary masturbation.....

[mogandave]

I don’t want to stereotype but all....,




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[watcharacters]

3 hours ago, simon43 said:

Now I know why I enjoy solitary masturbation.....

 

 

 

You confirm what others say they suspected for a while.

 

[MaeJoMTB]

4 hours ago, BobbyL said:

Isn't this the same as the other thread?

Same needy txting from the guy.

OP you need to learn never to do the needy txt thing.

If she doesn't want to talk, you never contact her again, date another girl and go to places her pals are sure to see you.

[NancyL]

Speaking as a woman, I don't think this woman's behavior is especially "Thai-like".  It's just the way women behave when they find a good rebound boyfriend and then their true love comes back onto the scene.  She's just not all that into you.   She's trying to "be nice" and not hurt you too much.  And probably a little flattered with your continued attention.  Get over it and move on.  

 

 

[Berkshire]

2 hours ago, NancyL said:

Speaking as a woman, I don't think this woman's behavior is especially "Thai-like".  It's just the way women behave when they find a good rebound boyfriend and then their true love comes back onto the scene.  She's just not all that into you.   She's trying to "be nice" and not hurt you too much.  And probably a little flattered with your continued attention.  Get over it and move on. 

 

Great advice.  The only thing I would add--and where Thai women may be a tad different--is they are not as direct and explicit when it comes to delivering "bad news."  They'll send indirect messages and hope the guy gets it, rather than having to come out and actually say it.  Basically to avoid the guy losing face.  The OP isn't getting the message. 

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Arguing over Tesco points.....

 

Maybe the problem is Tesco.

[Bluetongue]

Sorry cant help, but don't think that by rooting you she is yours

 

[swissie]

This "love thing" is highly overrated. All it is are some chemical reactions taking place in the brain, that in turn will produce certain hormones, that can reduce a perfectly normal person to an infantile semi-moron.

 

Here it is:

J. Geils Band-"Love stinks"

 

Text

You love her
But she loves him
And he loves somebody else
You just can't win
And so it goes
Till the day you die
This thing they call love
It's gonna make you cry
I've had the blues
The reds and the pinks
One thing for sure
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
Two by two and side by side
Love's gonna find you yes it is
You just can't hide
You'll hear it call
Your heart will fall
Then love will fly
It's gonna soar
I don't care for any Casanova thing
All I can say is
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
I've been through diamonds
I've been through minks
I've been through it all
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks, love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks, love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks, I mean it stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks, love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks, love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks, love stinks
Songwriter: Peter Wolf / Seth Justman
Songtext von Love Stinks © Universal Music Publishing Group, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., BMG Rights Management US, LLC

 

Cheers.  

[lemonjelly]

the argument over tesco lotus points.... the beginning of the end


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[Rhys]

....the advice you see but will not accept....LEAVE  ... I have an old boyfriend..means just age, not it has ended...move on.. more out there....go get some..

[NanLaew]

18 hours ago, Livinglife1 said:

Hello

 

Another Thai girlfriend issue.

I don't want to stereotype Thai girls but we all know some are just after sponsors, let me make it clear I have been with a bar girl and have been burnt in the past.

 

anyway I have been Thailand a few times for long periods of time. I come to Thailand December (now February) first night I meet a girl in a club (hush in koh samui) we get on really well I go home with her and we are with each other everyday and night apart from when she is at work (works for a wine company distributing large scale orders to hotels restaurants etc I know this is true as I have been to her office and even gone with her to help with deliveries and gain new customers) we spoke while she was at work still via call or message.

 

i could not fault her she is perfect in beauty,personality affection towards me and she works really hard.

 

she helped me get a bike choose a school to learn Thai language and find an apartment (which I hardly stayed because I was at her house)

ive met all her friends and her younger sister, I have not met her mum or grandma but she wants me too.

she would not let me spend my money all the time we would take it in turns at restaurants or she will cook for me. Her fridge broke i offered to buy her one but she would not let me.

 

we moved house and I helped with everything physical, she will be getting promoted to manger at her branch and has to go to the main office in BKK,

she has asked me to come with her.

 

she told me her friends like me (which is important in Thailand )

have been to their houses etc.

and she wants me to move in with her.

 

we had a little argument one night two weeks ago (she was on period at the time) 

we did not speak the next day untill 5:30 pm. 

She said let's forget and renew start fresh to which I agreed 

she also told me everything was better when she met me.

 

three days later we have a silly little debate over Tesco lotus points, I go to her house at 6pm to talk and she seems a little off with me so I say I will stay at my apartment. We end up not speaking for 4 days (I try calling and message but she ignores it)

i go round one morning before work and she seems a little stressed.

she tells me we will talk tomorrow so I leave .

 

next day at 6pm she answers my call seems normal again about 2 mins in she tells me I will call you back( must be a customer phoning to place an order) she does not call back.

 

so I ring and text a few hours later, she message me saying I'm really tired and need some space I hope you understand the last week has been really hard fir me.

 

i message back saying ok i understand your tired get some sleep I will come and see you tomorrow.

 

next day I go round to see her with flowers and we speak 

 

she says you think I'm bad person, I say no your not talk to me.

she tells me she had a farang boyfriend for two years but they break up 4 weeks before she met me, she thought they had finished for good but her ex bf mum had called her to say I think you should sort it out.

 

im shocked 

she tells me she loves me and cares for me but they have a lot of history she doesn't know what to do

 

its hard for me but I tell her I have strong feelings for you but if he makes you happy then I want you to be happy and can we still be friends to which she agrees I ask take her to dinner that night she agrees and I leave.

 

not a hour goes by and she calls me and says where are you , what are you doing hope your ok.

i say I'm not ok but I will have to be and she says I'm sorry, I'm not doing anything come round.

 

i go round and we speak and we go see her friends everything Is ok I assume she has chosen me.

that night in bed she tells me she doesn't know what to do.

i tell her how I feel she tells me she feels for me too and the she turns over kisses me cuddles me and we get physical.

 

next day she ask me to move in still and I move in.

 

everything is back to normal she even took the day off work to spend with me and we got physical a number of times.

 

valentines day comes I say I want to take out for a nice meal she says it will cost a lot of money I will cook for us.

 

she even brought me and her matching rings on the same finger on the same hand.

 

last night laying in bed I see a fb message and I know it's her ex she quickly wipes the message of the home screen.

 

i say is that your ex she says yes, I say what is going on with us I thought we were together she says I don't know it's hard I hate myself.

 

i say when I leave Thailand are we finished she says no.

she also told me I treat her better than he ever did.

im not sure if I feel the same about him (her ex) untill we speak face to face.

 

im so confused she tells me one thing but her actions tell me she likes me I really like her and believe you should fight for what you love.

 

has anyone experienced this?? 

 

 

Kind regards 

How's your Thai language classes coming along?

[NanLaew]

16 hours ago, colinneil said:

Sounds like you are both immature, behaving like children, sulking over silly petty things.

Yeah!, Don't sweat the petty things as long as you can still pet the sweaty things.

[NanLaew]

11 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Same needy txting from the guy.

OP you need to learn never to do the needy txt thing.

If she doesn't want to talk, you never contact her again, date another girl and go to places her pals are sure to see you.

I guess nothing says, "I am so over you" than hanging about in the places you used to go together so all her friends can see just how "I am so over you" you really are.

[faraday]

Too much drama. 

 

Both of you are relatively immature - yup, we all were once.

 

Speak with her in a loving way & be patient. Listen to her.

 

If having 'a talk' doesn't work, then back right off.

 

Yes, it will hurt. But I promise you, you won't die.

 

Good Luck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Peterw42]

5 hours ago, lemonjelly said:

the argument over tesco lotus points.... the beginning of the end


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its legal grounds for divorce in some countries.

[NanLaew]

The OP doesn't need to learn the Thai language to work out that, "She's just not that into you."

[norrska]

OP needs to read that classic book, Private Dancer, before proceeding further