NE live in village monthly

[DJ54]

7 minutes ago, tweedledee2 said:

 If you have been married to the same woman for 14 years, it must be a marriage of convenience and money because, with your perspective of Thai women and their families, that's all it could be.  

Easy fellows try not to make it personal it only agitates. Good on you both for successful marriages. All comments are appreciated and gives

me in this food fun r thought and hopefully I decide the road that will lead to happiness.  My end goal is to stay here retire and enjoy life 

the best I can. 

[Russell17au]

I have had a couple of G/F's which the families expected everything from the farang but then I met a woman who has no debt and owns a house and a small rice farm in a small village in Isaan who has a daughter still in high school that lives in her mothers house with her grandmother and a son who is a mechanical engineer in BKK. Her father is dead and her mother is 77, 4 years older than me and never asks for anything from me but every time we visit her she always has a small present for me, it may be just an amulet from the local temple or something like that. The wife has 2 sisters who are both married, 1 of them is high up in the insurance industry while her husband is a top businessman who travels to Europe every month and they have 2 houses, the other sister is married and they are both teachers. No one ever asks me for money not even my wife as she works 6 days a week and currently we are in the process of buying another house here in town but I am not allowed to put any money down as my wife wants me to have some comfort as I get older. While my wife is at work I will go out shopping and buy things for her and the house. There are some beautiful families in Isaan and not all of them treat farangs as ATM's, it is just a case of finding the right ones. 

[Jeremia Juxtaposed]

10 minutes ago, mlmcleod said:

In my opinion you are doing way more than enough for the family.  This is the 21st century and dowries and family payments are a thing of the distant past.

It still exists here in Thailand. The husband pays a dowry then the wife leaves the family home to live with, and take care of, her new husband and family, for free.....Oh...Somewhere along the line this didn't happen...

 

My advice? Kick the sisters out. Clean the house yourselves. The farm and cattle are a business so treat it as such...Been there done that and lost!!

[Shiver]

I paid 5K/pm when they were still alive.  They used it to pay for their funeral costs.  They could have covered that with the land they had, but it made it easier this way - they didn't really have any other need for the money tbh, it was just an upgrade to what the missus could afford before I was one the scene which was a patchy 1-3K pm.

[Jeremia Juxtaposed]

2 minutes ago, Shiver said:

I paid 5K/pm when they were still alive.  They used it to pay for their funeral costs.  They could have covered that with the land they had, but it made it easier this way - they didn't really have any other need for the money tbh, it was just an upgrade to what the missus could afford before I was one the scene which was a patchy 1-3K pm.

And how much did you pay the sisters??

[DonnyS]

On ‎5‎/‎15‎/‎2018 at 11:20 AM, cooked said:

Without knowing all the details I should say that ฿5000.- a month is really enough. What were they living off before you turned up? 

for A SINGLE glass of milk you PURCHASED the whole herd.....

[DonnyS]

10 minutes ago, Jeremia Juxtaposed said:

And how much did you pay the sisters??

 

10 minutes ago, Jeremia Juxtaposed said:

And how much did you pay the sisters??

You pay her sister - NOTHING    !

[Acharn]

Quite a few years ago I knew a guy over the internet who was giving his wife's parents an allowance of ฿30,000 a month. He was a systems analyst for an oil company (I think one of the larger ones) and made a six-figure salary. I think the baht at that time was around 40 to the dollar, so thirty big ones wasn't a big deal to him. It depends. I wouldn't be able to do ฿30,000, but ฿10,000 wouldn't be hard. It's up to you. Does your wife know what your monthly income is? Maybe she thinks you're a lot richer than you think you are.

[DonnyS]

Your their meal ticket . Stop spending your hard earned money.

[gerry1953]

18 minutes ago, Acharn said:

Quite a few years ago I knew a guy over the internet who was giving his wife's parents an allowance of ฿30,000 a month. He was a systems analyst for an oil company (I think one of the larger ones) and made a six-figure salary. I think the baht at that time was around 40 to the dollar, so thirty big ones wasn't a big deal to him. It depends. I wouldn't be able to do ฿30,000, but ฿10,000 wouldn't be hard. It's up to you. Does your wife know what your monthly income is? Maybe she thinks you're a lot richer than you think you are.

 

How much disposable income you have shouldn't determine how much you give or pay your in laws and wife.  What is important is they are decent people, not lazy, respectful, and without high expense vices like drugs, alcohol and gambling.  Them asking for more money after receiving all the other perks of being married to a generous farang would be a problem for me but if they needed a hand I would gladly offer IF they had those good qualities.  The OPs description indicated lack of respect and  a feeling of entitlement from the whole family?

[super22k]

Why pay anything at all?The whole thing is a con.When Thais come to live in western counties they don t pay us anything. The whole thing is engineered to sqeeze money out of farangs. Don t give them a penny.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

1 minute ago, gerry1953 said:

What is important is they are decent people, not lazy, respectful, and without high expense vices like drugs, alcohol and gambling.

 

Blah, blah, blah..... non lazy, respectful people don't ask for money.

[DonnyS]

On ‎5‎/‎17‎/‎2018 at 7:45 PM, Rally123 said:

One word, 'WALK'.

NOooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[MaeJoMTB]

On 5/15/2018 at 10:21 PM, DJ54 said:

Have been giving Mama and Papa I give 5,000 baht a nmonth.

I give mama 3,000bht NOT to live with us (and she had to sign the family farm over to my son).

If she comes to visit, -100bht/day.

She don't come round much!

Edited May 19, 2018 by MaeJoMTB

[gerry1953]

6 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

Blah, blah, blah..... non lazy, respectful people don't ask for money.

 

Not usually but medical or other issues could occur where a bit of extra money may make a difference on the outcome.  My MIL never wanted sinsot only for her daughter to be happy or has ever asked for 1 baht in 7 years and I would gladly pick up any expenses should that happen.  My wife gives her 3000 baht each month out of household expense money to supplement her 600 baht a month government pension as do her other kids.  For that amount or even for free my MIL is always babysitting, helping around the large yard and generally making things easier for my wife and I - on top of that is a very nice person to be around.  There seems to be a lot of hostility and generalizations about Thai's here? 

[MaeJoMTB]

1 minute ago, gerry1953 said:

For that amount or even for free my MIL is always babysitting, helping around the large yard and generally making things easier for my wife and I - on top of that is a very nice person to be around.  There seems to be a lot of hostility and generalizations about Thai's here? 

My MiL sold her daughter to me in a cash sale.

I don't need people traffickers hanging around my house.

How low can a person be, selling their own children?

[gerry1953]

Jeez Mae - that sucks to be you - wouldn't they take a post dated cheque!!

Sadly some do sell their own kids outright or get them into the "business" so they can send money home.

 

Edited May 19, 2018 by gerry1953

[billd766]

1 hour ago, DonnyS said:

Your their meal ticket . Stop spending your hard earned money.

 

Why?

 

It is up to him what he does with HIS hard earned money and not you, unless of course he has asked you for help.

[Ajarnbrian]

A simple experiment. Reduce what you pay to your wife`s family for a few months, say `sorry it`s because of other bills I`ve just got to pay.` Their reaction will help you know where you really stand. I did this, in my case it was actually a genuine reason. No negative responses from my wife`s family, thankfully.

[Capt Rob]

10 hours ago, gerry1953 said:

 

How much disposable income you have shouldn't determine how much you give or pay your in laws and wife.  What is important is they are decent people, not lazy, respectful, and without high expense vices like drugs, alcohol and gambling.  Them asking for more money after receiving all the other perks of being married to a generous farang would be a problem for me but if they needed a hand I would gladly offer IF they had those good qualities.  The OPs description indicated lack of respect and  a feeling of entitlement from the whole family?

Some truly insightful posts here ( as well as one or two bitter dronings ) has made for an interesting read.

 

Intuition and luck play a hand in life, but a rewind and review are necessary for all of us from time to time, wherever one lives in the world.

Being decent, helpful, fair and expecting people to be fair in dealing with you will give you grief - as I repeatedly find out to my cost !  Still hindsight is a wonderful thing and nearly always endorsed by friends

[Kadilo]

3 minutes ago, Capt Rob said:

Some truly insightful posts here ( as well as one or two bitter dronings ) has made for an interesting read.

 

Intuition and luck play a hand in life, but a rewind and review are necessary for all of us from time to time, wherever one lives in the world.

Being decent, helpful, fair and expecting people to be fair in dealing with you will give you grief - as I repeatedly find out to my cost !  Still hindsight is a wonderful thing and nearly always endorsed by friends

Interesting post. I would like to know why you think showing those qualities will or has given you grief. It's not been my experience, quite the opposite. 

The bitter drownings are par for the course. If you listen to them it's not hard to see why they got dumped and decided to marry a bar stool. 

[Hummin]

2 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

Interesting post. I would like to know why you think showing those qualities will or has given you grief. It's not been my experience, quite the opposite. 

The bitter drownings are par for the course. If you listen to them it's not hard to see why they got dumped and decided to marry a bar stool. 

2+2 is not always 4

 

I learned that when I was 4

[ubonjoe]

I have just removed some of the worst posts and replies to them on the last few pages. Some were bickering and others just nasty Thai bashing posts and inflammatory. 

Enough is Enough. This topic