MALE THAI/ ferang 14 year old

[stropper]

advise needed, i am in a relationship with a extremely loving and inteligent thai lady, we met on the concourse at pattaya under extremely strange conditions, i was there after fleeing my country after beating the shit out of a mongrel druggie, who,s fathers family owned 10 pubs in brisbane, he was 42, <deleted> ricky, i had taken a  thai wife, to live in aus , her two boys and eventually her daughter, 18 months later, 18 the day she stepped of the plane, talk about trouble, the <deleted> took over the daughter got them all on drugs and more, <deleted> me emmotianly, totally, eventually i got over it after a  few years , a bit of time and money,  and a good solicitor.THE new wife, we met as she was walking along the beach at patts, two black eyes and badly bruised, i had to ask, the husband 43  year old pom, hiding in thailand on a drug warrent in the U K had beaten the shit out of her in a drunken , drug rage,  i met him on the beach at pattaya, another story!. Well we clicked, the wife wanted her boy back but the ex needed him to keep a visa in thailand, he fled with him, she was then terrified of him, we got the call about 2 years later from the boys school ,the father was dieing, we went to bangkok and with the help of the police and the child protection ,we found the kid living on the street in a tree at bang chang, scrounging food from the poor locals, dad died shortly after. Now the problem, my wife and i are great together, we lived in udon for  3 years, the boy with us for 1 year, she has made up with her family who threw her out because of the drunken druggie pom, no one in her family ,drinks smokes  or gambles, the father has given my now wife 100 ra or more of land, the family has heaps of government land, no one in the family likes the boy, 8 when we found him in bangkok , 14 now, he is the same as his pommie father, turned into a drug taking lazy piece of shit, has been truenting school and when caught admits to drug taking , and more, is this usual for thai boys who have everything, we are not short of money and we both can not understand why this is happening, he is associating with a bad gang, but he will just not listen to his mother , and definately not me. Our farm and the family are all going great, no more water buffaloes here we have 2 tractors, trucks every implement a great house and i have  aquired more land, every one is happy , except this piece of shit, i have tried to be understanding to him, we have given him every thing, but he just does what he wants and treats his mother like shit, some times it is hard for me, but i have remained cool to this stage, after the 2 teachers came to our house to personally see what was going on, he has not come home for 4 days, mum wants him gone, does any body know of  any where that we can place him,  or advise, thanks

[JAS21]

You bad person ... you skipped school the day they did punctuation ... Do what I did when my sons went to Uni ... changed the door locks and sold their beds ...

 

 

[Rhys]

... as harsh as this will sound, you have a no win situation, more sadness will come, progress will be slow... Need to think about your personal well being.. Good luck.

 

[FritsSikkink]

Have you tried reward good behavior and punishment for bad behavior (not beating him but taking away things he likes).

[stropper]

4 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

Have you tried reward good behavior and punishment for bad behavior (not beating him but taking away things he likes).

we have tried that, give him a bike, he breaks it, breaks every thing, if does not win at a game, will smash it, then just does not care, it is very frustrating !

[FritsSikkink]

6 minutes ago, stropper said:

we have tried that, give him a bike, he breaks it, breaks every thing, if does not win at a game, will smash it, then just does not care, it is very frustrating !

Then it is time to get tougher on him, tell him if he behaves like a 5 year old, you will treat him like one. See if he likes it when you bring and pick him up from school everyday. If he breaks anything on purpose, you let him do manual farm work to pay it off. He needs to feel the consequences of bad behavior, don't let him win, it is a game for him to see how far he can go. Warn him first that you are done with his shitty behavior and what the new rules are going to be.   

[mjc1318]

I have seen this happen so many times. The old saying that you need to be cruel to by kind, cut off the purse strings all together. then make sure you have everything locked up or bolted down.

[The manic]

The Hate and violence and racism you emanate indicate you might not be fit to be a parent. The same unattractive qualities might scare the boy. You hate him and he knows it. This child's suffering is a result of the adults in his life making bad decisions. There are no solutions really. 

[Lancashirelad]

Boot camp!

[The manic]

4 minutes ago, Lancashirelad said:

Boot camp!

For the OP?

[Rc2702]

Desperate times require desperate measures. If you are as sorted as you say. Why not make this kid your project and get the lad into shape?

 

Don't let him go the way of his father. It's on you if he does cos the bottom line is you are now his father.

[champers]

Send him to a government rehab facility/hospital to get him off the drugs. Look on google to find in your area.

[kannot]

On 8/26/2018 at 2:36 PM, stropper said:

does any body know of  any where that we can place him,  or advise, thanks

Best thing, drive him far far away and put  him back on the streets, seriously, the only way he'll learn and if he doesnt so be it.

[mjc1318]

On 10/10/2018 at 4:52 AM, champers said:

Send him to a government rehab facility/hospital to get him off the drugs. Look on google to find in your area.

that is all good and well to say that. it will only work if he wants to get clean, then there is the attitude problem to deal with

 

Edited October 11, 2018 by mjc1318

[champers]

12 minutes ago, mjc1318 said:

that is all good and well to say that. it will only work if he wants to get clean, then there is the attitude problem to deal with

 

It may require some help from the police along the lines of prison or rehab. Wait for them to get involved or DIY.

[Puwa]

Sorry to hear of your troubles. Despite his behavior, try not to think of him as a piece of shit. Who knows what kind of trauma he endured before his mother found him.

 

This place does very well dealing with troubled kids. It might not be the solution for you, but it is a place to start. https://www.childrensvillagethailand.org/info/introduction.php

 

Best of luck to you.