Pfizer & Pepsi to Merge

This will no doubt put Coca Cola out of business in the near future...!

The Pfizer Corporation announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form and this new product will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.

 

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of cocktails, highballs and just a good old-fashioned stiff drink.

 

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

 

Thought for the day...There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

 

This means that by 2025, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

 

And...if you don't send this with senior friends right away there will be fewer people laughing today.

I had a job as a delivery driver.

One time I dropped off a huge load of bubble wrap to an office supplies depot.

The warehouse manager said "Just pop it in the corner over there".

Took me f'kin hours.

The barman says “We don’t serve time travellers in here”.

 

A few moments later a time traveller walks into a bar.

A giraffe walks into a bar.

The barman says “Sorry, we don’t serve Heineken here.”

8 hours ago, chickenslegs said:

Ohhhhhh darling ......

Two Eskimos, one big and one not so big, walk up to the convent door. The bigger nudges the smaller one and says, "Go ahead then, knock on the door."

 

Mother Superior answers the door. Again, the bigger Eskimo nudges the other and says, "Go ahead, ask her the question." The smaller Eskimo timidly asks,
"May we speak with the midget nun that lives here please?"

 

The Mother Superior answers. "There are no midget nuns living here."

 

The bigger Eskimo starts nudging the other and says. "Ask her the other question then."

The Eskimo asks in a quavering voice.  "Are there any midget nuns in Alaska?"

 

The Mother Superior responds. "I know most of the nuns in Alaska and I think not."

 

With this the bigger Eskimo falls down, rolls on the ground, laughing uncontrollably.
 
"See! I told you it was a penguin!"

5 ants rented an apartment with another 5 ants.

 

Now they’re tenants