8 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

When I joined the RAF they taught me things and how to drink heavily. The initiation ceremony was a pub crawl of the 13 pubs in the village and a pint in each pub.

 

I learned that eating a blistering hot curry afterwards was not a good plan.

It's Panto season - Oh yes it is!

 

Why is Cinderella rubbish at football? Her coach was a pumpkin.

 

A pantomime horse walks into a bar. The barman says “would you like a pint?” The horse says, “no, two halves”.

 

Why does Dick Whittington have a beard? Because nine out of ten owners know that their cats prefer whiskers.

 

I had a job as part of a pantomime horse team once, but I quit when I was a head.

 

I asked the librarian for a book on pantomimes. He said, “It’s behind you”.