10 minutes ago, ravip said:

 

I wonder what's so special about an Oak tree?

 

It's nuts perhaps?

Any idea what this cake is?

1 minute ago, oxo1947 said:

 

As they say, you didn't lose your girl, you just lost your turn. 

*LET'S OFFEND EVERYONE!!!*

I came out of the chip shop with a meat & potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sitting there said “I've not eaten for two days.” I told him, “I wish I had your will power!

I took my biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells.

Apparently "Blacks and Romanian Gypsies" were not the correct answers.

A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time today. She said, “Sorry about the wait.”

I said, “Don't worry dear. You might lose it eventually."

I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop, as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said, “Any change?” I said “No, you're still black”.

Snow in the forecast! The TV weather girl said, she was expecting 8 inches tonight.

I thought to myself, "Fat chance with a face like that!"

An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks him,“What's wrong?”

The boy says,“Me ma is dead”.

“Oh bejaysus,"the man says. “Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?”

The boy replies, “No tanks mister. Sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.”

Years ago it was suggested, that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslims, I've found that a bacon sandwich works better !

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such an immensely fast shutter-speed, that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth shut.

I had a Trivia Competition in the bag until the very last question....which I got wrong. The question was, "Where do women have the curliest hair?" Apparently the correct answer was Fiji.

A woman has a medical at the doctors. “You are grossly overweight,” he says.

“I want a 2nd opinion,” she exclaims. “OK. You're bloody ugly as well.”

That should more or less cover everyone !!

Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals.

During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that

both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises.

"How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers.

"It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied.

"I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the

reason for your elongated penises?"

"No sir, our mother."

"Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!"

"I know, sir," replied the recruit, "but she only had one arm, and

when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to

manage as best she could."

 

 

1 hour ago, roo860 said:

Any idea what this cake is?

Cake? Where?