A young couple was making passionate love in the guy's van (shag carpets, big double mattress in the back... ) when suddenly the girl, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out "Oh big boy, whip me, whip me!"

The guy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the aerial off his van and proceeds to whip the girl until they both collapse in sadomasochistic ecstasy.

About a week later, the girl notices that the marks left by the whipping session are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor.

The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks, "Did you get these marks having sex?"

The girl is a little embarrassed but admits that, yes, she did.

Nodding his head knowingly the doctor exclaims, "I thought so, because in all my years of doctoring, you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen!"

3 hours ago, ballpoint said:

What's more it's liquid water. 🙂

18 hours ago, Maybole said:

heard this 5years ago, but it was a Reliant Robin flashing its lights.

 

This joke and variants is really old, heard it about 50 years ago, but then with a Citroen 2 CV.

3 hours ago, Crossy said:

No brown ones thank you...

One afternoon, a man comes home early from work and finds his wife lying on the bed, puffing and panting. Concerned, he asks, "What are you doing?"

Caught off guard, she stammers, "I... um... I think I'm having a heart attack!"

Alarmed, the husband exclaims, "Oh no! I'll call an ambulance!" He rushes downstairs to dial 911, when he notices his young son Johnny crying.

"What's wrong, son?" the father asks.

Through his tears, Johnny replies, "Uncle James is in the closet with no clothes on, Daddy."

Furious, the man storms back upstairs, flings open the closet door, and sure enough, finds his brother standing there, completely naked.

Outraged, the man yells, "You idiot, Jim! My wife is having a heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring Johnny!"