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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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Three old Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home when an old Grandpa walked by.
One of the old Grandmas yelled out, 'Hey, we bet we can tell exactly how old you are!'
The old man said, 'There is no way you can guess my age!’
One of the Grandmas said, 'Sure we can! Just drop your pants and undershorts and we can tell your exact age.'
Embarrassed, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers.
The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and then jump up and down several times.
Determined to prove them wrong, he did it.
Then they all said in unison, 'You're 87-years-old!'
Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, 'How in the world did you guess my age?'
Slapping their knees, high-fiving and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily crowed.....
'We were at your birthday party yesterday.'

Morning weather report...

https://images.lookhuman.com/render/standard/5004367780281462/mug11oz-whi-one_size-t-kawaii-coffee-mug.jpg

Me: hmm... looks a bit muggy out today..
Wife: I'll kill you if you've put all the coffee cups on the lawn.... again!
Me: smiling inwardly and sipping morning tea out of a brandy glass....

 

31 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

264866E0-2CD3-4E22-8505-AE9F07B1E944.jpeg.e8825728b483f716c6ea74060643123c.jpeg

First they ban "Gone with the wind" now it's "Blazing saddles".

President Trump must be worried.

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Age-Activated Attention-Deficit Disorder. (AAADD)
 
A typical day in my life:
 
I decide to water my garden. 
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, 
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
 
As I start toward the garage, 
I notice mail on the hall table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.
 
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
 
I lay my car keys on the table, 
Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
And notice that the can is full.
 
So, I decide to put the bills back 
On the table and take out the garbage first...
 
But then I think, 
Since I'm going to be near the mailbox
When I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
 
I take my check book off the table, 
And see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, 
So I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking .
 
I'm going to look for my checks, 
But first I need to push the Pepsi aside
So that I don't accidentally knock it over.
 
The Pepsi is getting warm, 
And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
 
As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, 
A vase of flowers on the counter
Catches my eye--they need water.
 
I put the Pepsi on the counter and 
Discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
But first I'm going to water the flowers.
 
I set the glasses back down on the counter , 
Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
 
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, 
I'll be looking for the remote,
But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
But first I'll water the flowers.
 
I pour some water in the flowers, 
But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
 
So, I set the remote back on the table, 
Get some towels and wipe up the spill.
 
Then, I head down the hall trying to 
Remember what I was planning to do.
 
At the end of the day: 
The car isn't washed, 
The bills aren't paid, 
There is a warm can of 
Pepsi sitting on the counter, 
The flowers don't have enough water, 
There is still only 1 check in my check book, 
I can't find the remote, 
I can't find my glasses, 
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys. 
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, 
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
And I'm really tired.
 
I realize this is a serious problem, 
And I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....
 
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

The joke is on, for the next Pub in OZ; to try Ban the Mullet!!

 

this is bigger News ATT, than China! 

See the source image 

 

Image may contain: one or more people and horse, text that says 'The lowest form of accommodation in Victorian England was access to bend over a rope for the night at the price of penny. Usually used by drunken sailors who had spent all their money drinking. It's said to be the origin of the term "Hungover".' 

 

Boy! Times they have a changed!! - we now have Cable 

 

 

 

 

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