1 hour ago, Crossy said:

It was probably wile-e-coyote

wile e coyote.webp

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

 

The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

What’s another name for a diaphragm?

A trampoline for dicks.

11 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Well, that's bang out of order.

 

Or Berlusconi party without u

A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”

A gynecologist notices that a new patient is nervous.

 

While putting on the latex gloves, he asks her if she knows how they make latex gloves.

 

The patient says no. The doctor says, "There is a plant in Mexico full of latex that people of various hand sizes dip their hands into and let them dry.

 

She does not crack a smile, but later she laughs. The doctor says, "What's so funny?"

 

She says, "I'm imagining how they make condoms."

Three people get arrested and are taken into holding for questioning.

 

The officer talks to the first girl, asking, "What's your name?" She says, "Yo." The officer asks, "What are you in for?" She responds with, "Blowing bubbles." The officer takes her picture and lets her go.

 

He asks the second girl, "What's your name?" She responds with, "Yo Yo." The officer asks, "What are you in for?" She responds with, "Blowing bubbles." The officer takes her picture and lets her go.

 

He talks to the guy and says, "Let me guess, your name is Yo Yo Yo."

 

The guy replies with, "No, it's Bubbles."

Points to ponder.

 

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?
  
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

 

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

 

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

 

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

 

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

 

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder...

 

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

 

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

 

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

 

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

 

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

 

Stop singing and read on...

 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

 

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

 

With all these uncertainties in life, having  friends, makes the world a better place

CHEERS ????

What do you get if you merge Xerox with Wurlitzer?

A company that makes reproductive organs.
 

What have a diamond ring and David Beckham got in common?

Both come in a posh box.
 

A bad football team is like an old bra.

No cups and very little support.
 

Did you hear about the unhappy atheist?

She had no one to talk to during orgasm.
 

The baker's shop was quite empty when the dog walked in with a basket in his mouth, a list and money tied round his neck. The assistant looked at the list, filled the basket with two loaves of bread, three doughnuts and a treacle tart, and the dog left swiftly.

Every Tuesday afternoon the same thing would happen. The dog would arrive at the quietest time, get the basket filled and then disappear. The assistant became more and more intrigued. One Tuesday, she decided to follow the dog and discover where it went when it left the shop. Having got permission for some time off, she closely followed the animal. He crossed the busy high street, took a short cut up an alley, walked across the park and strolled into the council estate. Five minutes later, he turned into a garden and walked up to the front door where he rang the bell.

All of a sudden, the door was flung open and the dog was booted back down the path. Outraged at this behaviour, the assistant called from the road,

"What do you think you're doing? This is a very special dog, don't treat it in such a cruel way."

"Keep out of this!" snarled the man.

 

"That bloody dog's got to learn. It's the second time this month he's forgotten his keys!"
 

Three men are discussing how best to drive women wild. The first says he nibbles their ears and their toes and it really turns them on. The second says he kisses them all over and it drives them mad. The third says that after he's made love to them he wipes his member on their curtains;  now that really does drive them wild!