23 hours ago, ravip said:

A Scientologist, a Catholic, and a Mormon are talking about their families...

The Scientologist jokes, "I've got 4 kids. One more and I'll have a basketball team!"

 

The Catholic joins in and says, "Well I've got 10 kids, and one more I'll have a football team!".

 

The Mormon speaks up and deadpans. "I've got 17 wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."

Just wondering,if this mormon does get the golf course ,would he still want the play the 19th

hole?

40 minutes ago, tomazbodner said:

I got it because I am old and I even used to own a reel to reel recorder and back in the distant past we had a wind up gramophone that used steel needles and some 78 rpm shellac records.

I've learned so much from my mistakes.
I think I'll make a few more.

"How would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

While teaching a class a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question:

 

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

 

Michael said: "Just a minute I have to go pee."

 

The teacher responded by saying: "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"

 

Sherman said: "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back."

"That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

 

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"

 

Johnny said: "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner."

Englishman: ‟That your dog?”

Welshman: ‟Yep.”

Englishman: ‟Mind if I speak to him?”

Welshman: ‟Dog dont talk But.”

Englishman: ‟Hey dog, how’s it going?”

Dog: ‟Doin’ all right.”

Welshman: (Look of shock!)

Englishman: ‟Is this Welshman your owner?” (Pointing at the Welshman)

Dog: ‟Yep.”

Englishman: ‟How’s he treating you?”

Dog: ‟Rel good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play.”

Welshman: (Look of total disbelief)

 

Englishman: ‟Mind if I talk to your horse?”

Welshman: ‟Horse dont talk but.”

Englishman: ‟Hey horse, how’s it going?”

Horse: ‟Cool.”

Welshman: (Extreme look of shock!)

Englishman: ‟Is this your owner?” (Pointing to the welshman)

Horse: ‟Yep.”

Englishman: ‟How’s he treating you?”

Horse: ‟Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather.”

Welshman: (Look of total amazement)

 

Englishman: ‟Mind if I talk to your sheep?”

Welshman: ‟That sheeps a f* ing liar bud!!”