2 hours ago, fangless said:

I saw that coming but please don't get cut up about it! 

I just knew you wood lumber in.

4 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I just knew you wood lumber in.

You can be a real plank at times????

2 hours ago, fangless said:

You can be a real plank at times????

Not that old saw again, he'll have you pining.

 

Don't be a sap, knock that beech down a peg

What’s the best way to carve wood?

Whittle by whittle.

I want a job cleaning mirrors. It’s something I can really see myself doing.

I bought sneakers from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping all day!

Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?

I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us.

He’s not dead, just very condescending.

A very true story

Husband forgot to wish his wife on her birthday. He come home late at night from the office...

His wife said: how would you feel if you don't see me for next few days?

He couldn't believe his luck, He replied at once

"wowww...that would be great..."

Monday passed and he didn't see her,

Tuesday passed and he didn't see her,

Wednesday passed too..

.

.

.

On Thursday the swelling was better and he could see her from the corner of his left eye.

No thanks.  I think I will just hang on a bit longer!