6 hours ago, ballpoint said:

When I was a kid, I went into the barber's and asked him to give me a haircut the way George Best had it done. He took out his clippers and shaved my head, cutting my ear in the process.  I said, "George Best doesn't have his hair cut that way."

He replied,

"He hasn't got any hair now as he's dead ain't he!"

6 hours ago, ballpoint said:

I've got a West Indian Hair themed Party at work next week.

I'm dreading it.

Make sure they don't lock you out!

6 hours ago, ballpoint said:

You shouldn't put them up yourself. 

You should put them up in the living room.

 

But how else can I practice at being the Christmas tree fairy?

8 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Went to HomePro this morning, the bloke on the door asked "do you want decking"? and it all went downhill from there....

Did you plank him?