How much for the wifes holiday back home in Issan?

[NoshowJones]

On 3/12/2019 at 9:46 PM, jvs said:

Why did you give her 8000 baht?

I would have given her money to travel and thats it!

 

So would I, and maybe some spending money, but the amount would depend on what I know about her familys life style.

Are they fond of the drink, are any of the extended family likely to come looking for hand outs.?

[BobbyL]

4 hours ago, crickets said:

Looking after 2 kids under 3 full time. cooking / cleaning, she cant make an income as well. Same happened with my mum and dad. 

Out of interest, you say you pay her 20k a month and she is a stay home mum. Could she find work and then you hire a nanny to look after the children Mon - Fri whilst you both work. Would that not be a better option financially in the next few years before they start school?

 

We both work full time now and have been married a few years (8 years together in total) and a baby is the next step soon I think. Our idea is for her to take a year off work once our baby is born as my salary will be enough to cover us for that amount of time. After that, we will hire a nanny for the next few years before schooling starts whilst we both work full time. 

[Captain 776]

Absolutely CRAZY.

 

If you are REQUIRED to give her 20,000 or any amount, you made a BIG mistake long ago.

 

Let me guess.......you found her in a bar?

 

Just walk away, far away and never look back~!!!!

[jvs]

14 minutes ago, BobbyL said:

Out of interest, you say you pay her 20k a month and she is a stay home mum. Could she find work and then you hire a nanny to look after the children Mon - Fri whilst you both work. Would that not be a better option financially in the next few years before they start school?

 

We both work full time now and have been married a few years (8 years together in total) and a baby is the next step soon I think. Our idea is for her to take a year off work once our baby is born as my salary will be enough to cover us for that amount of time. After that, we will hire a nanny for the next few years before schooling starts whilst we both work full time. 

I always had a problem with this idea,if you want kids make the commitment and look after(raise) them yourself.Why would you want kids and hand them over to some one else?

[BobbyL]

6 minutes ago, jvs said:

I always had a problem with this idea,if you want kids make the commitment and look after(raise) them yourself.Why would you want kids and hand them over to some one else?

Fair point. I am just thinking in terms of work and career. There is no way my wife would want to sacrifice her education, her recent MSc and the career prospects she has now to take 3 - 4 years off work.  

[Pravda]

My wife's parents promised me a free land, house and food if I inseminate their daughter. As a matter of fact they already built us a small house, but I didn't deliver. Now the stakes are higher and they are getting desperate. 

 

Why would anyone pay 20k a month is beyond me? Thai women are desperate for a little white menace. I'm waiting for a wife to hit 40, I'm sure there is going to be a Benz on offer.

 

 

[jvs]

9 minutes ago, BobbyL said:

Fair point. I am just thinking in terms of work and career. There is no way my wife would want to sacrifice her education, her recent MSc and the career prospects she has now to take 3 - 4 years off work.  

So would it be fair to say  have to make a choice?

[BobbyL]

1 minute ago, jvs said:

So would it be fair to say  have to make a choice?

Each to their own. Everyone's choice is different. I'm from England and it is very common for women with careers to take 6 months - a year off and then return to work. I am 30 and I don't know anyone who has had a child (family or friends) where the mother has just completely stopped working.

 

Is it easy for her to then go back to work after 3 or 4 years out? I don't think so unless she is going to work in the service industry. 

[Tomahawk21]

On 3/12/2019 at 9:45 PM, champers said:

While she is away go and spend 8000 Baht on yourself over the same period to make yourself feel better. If you come to Pattaya you could easily spend that much in one day with a bit of imagination.

and you would enjoy that a lot more 555

[Tomahawk21]

My wife is returning to her families for about 3 days and after handing over 8k i was not given a thank you, just a rolling over with the eyes. This was on top of the usual money i give her for the month (about 20). Anyone else experience this with their wife? I probably wouldnt spend this much on a holiday in Phuket. How does one justify this kinda of spending? I asked and was told "Fuel.......fuel....and...........and...." Its only 330km to her home. Im sure someone can empathize with me.

 

 

sounds like shes taking the pixx

[NanLaew]

8 hours ago, soistalker said:

I really love these employer/employee type of relationships. 

Me too, but not near as much as the punter/hooker ones.

[NanLaew]

5 hours ago, jingjai9 said:

Dear Friend, You have the same issues as I - You are not comfortable with certain aspects of relationships in Thai culture. I have friends whose Thai GF's consume money. These guys shrug their shoulders and tolerate it, I personnally CANNOT and therefore, have been single the past 8 years. I love Thailand and its people, but I cannot navigate relationships with Thai women long term, so I do not go there. Many people I know have good relationships, but perhaps they possess qualities I do not have, that's life. THINK ABOUT This, it will happen again.

So you've been shopping for Mrs Right in Nana, Cowboy and Walking Street for the past 8 years? I bet you've seen some changes, eh?

[Elkski]

I read all this.  It may have wasted my life some but quite educational and funny. 

To the OP is the 20,000 all hers each month?   Or does she use some of it to buy things for the family needs?

Did she take the 3 young children with her?   I think I read it's 3 but I didn't reread to be sure.  

 

I would say it's a bit hard to raise 3 younguns and work a job.  As some posts suggested. OP said she made 9,000 before if I trust my comprehension. 

Petrol and amazon coffees and snacks could be 1500,  RT.  you didn't give mpg data.  But I think you said 330 km each way. 

It would be a b**** traveling with three children under 5 as a single mom. 

I guess most of you seem to understand that gifts are in order when she's taking a trip home. For OP's wife this obviously does not occur very often , laugh out loud.

 

OP doesn't say how big the family is or if she will be going out with  friends or other new mom's to lunch and visit like women do.  

 

I am interested in one post. 28000 is enough for two UNI mia noi.  Please PM me.  ????

 

Many seem to have black hole Thai extended families.   Maybe you can offer me some advice. Is there a cure for a woman who is brainwashed by bhudda, family, school or whatever to mindlessly give her last baht to family in need?

Will a woman ever be able to regard her man's nest egg as something she needs to protect for both their long term happiness and well being.  Many men are bitter and obviously many Thai women sucked the turnup dry and now find themselves having to support themselves.  So they didn't know how to plan. 

I guess the OP could ask for some sort of budget accounting post trip report . But I'm learning budgeting is not in the Thai vocabulary or mentality. 

 

Edited March 14, 2019 by Elkski

[thailand49]

8 hours ago, Mangkhut said:

Why pay for another grown up individual? Isnt she able to make an income for herself and pay her own bills and expenses? 

 

Stop feeding the wolfs, one day they will come after you....

Get your head out of the sand buddy,  have you one idea as to what Thailand is all about?  The way you talk your balls must be scraping the dirt? Job what job, Oh I know you got the answer " but where I come from that is exactly what is done "  get off your butt and start to do some real research about their education system. The way they discriminated against their own people you go to school for 12 years so you can get a job at 7/11 after a few years your too old so they replace you with a new younger model. Go to any mall you want in Thailand, look at the cashiers at all the major departments like Big C, Lotus, KFC, Swenson, coffee shop see any old people? But when you take a crap while you washing your hands look up and see the old lady cleaning up after you.

To go to a low-level university you got to have money which the general population can't even afford the uniform that is required of them.  Yes, you are thinking yea in Bangkok, Bangkok can't provide job to the whole population name me another major city like Bangkok in Thailand?

Sure it is all relative, pay her own bills and expenses if she didn't have a choice or before the ATM came along. Socialism is a popular word today if you had a choice yourself would you pay your bills yourself or have someone else pay it for you?????

[AlexRich]

If someone has a Thai wife and she is looking after the house and kids then I see no problem with giving her an allowance, and 20,000 Baht is pretty reasonable unless they live in an expensive part of town. It’s no different to the west, and no one criticises husbands for doing the same thing. The key is some mutual respect and gratitude. If 20k is much more than the wife could earn in the job market then the least you would expect is a bit of gratitude. So if that’s no there I understand why the OP has raised the question ... 

[Elkski]

20,000 is 635$usd. So not a small amount.  I think they say average workers SS payment is .1400 spouse ,736$

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.usatoday.com/amp/35436219

 

I have known Thai women who work like dogd 6 days a week for 20,000.  Plus OP maybe an English teacher or something.   this thread reminds me of the threads about how much does it cost to live in Thailand. Which boils down to the variables of people's upbringing lifestyle and financial capability.  add and the scorned man who have been burned badly in their home country or possibly in addition taken to the cleaners in Thailand.  It is beneficial to here the different stories of how happy men are and if their wife asks for money or not. Like my accounting buddy said when I was about 25,  "with women you pay for it or you pay for it!"

Can't argue with an accountant except he like this s***ty trashy type.  

 

 

[BTB1977]

Why not have her take the bus? I give my wife 1,000 a day for when she goes back to see momma so I do not have to go. No monthly allowance she has a job/ shop for her own money. 

[BestB]

5 hours ago, AlexRich said:

If someone has a Thai wife and she is looking after the house and kids then I see no problem with giving her an allowance, and 20,000 Baht is pretty reasonable unless they live in an expensive part of town. It’s no different to the west, and no one criticises husbands for doing the same thing. The key is some mutual respect and gratitude. If 20k is much more than the wife could earn in the job market then the least you would expect is a bit of gratitude. So if that’s no there I understand why the OP has raised the question ... 

There are some differences between western wife and Thai. 

 

For starters with a western one you are not expected to support her lazy parents and parasite of a brother, not expected to buy cars and bikes for parents and brothers or houses.

 

a visit to isaan is about showing off, even more so when you have a foreigner .

 

she may well be “normal “ but without gifts , alcohol and money to feed parasites they make her feel ashamed 

[crickets]

6 minutes ago, BestB said:

There are some differences between western wife and Thai. 

 

For starters with a western one you are not expected to support her lazy parents and parasite of a brother, not expected to buy cars and bikes for parents and brothers or houses.

 

a visit to isaan is about showing off, even more so when you have a foreigner .

 

she may well be “normal “ but without gifts , alcohol and money to feed parasites they make her feel ashamed 

I bet you are not well off. Have little money to spend except for yourself.

[EVENKEEL]

I think there is a world of difference between the thinking of posters. You have one group who is still working making large money and one group who is scraping by on a small pension and one group who is just posting nonsense hoping for a response. For many working offshore 3-5 hrs OT is equal to what their wife or G/F monthly salary would be. 

 

In the US back in the not so long ago past, fathers made enough money to support the family and the mother was a housewife. What's wrong with that?

[brokenbone]

7 hours ago, Elkski said:

I am interested in one post. 28000 is enough for two UNI mia noi.  Please PM me.  ????

mia noi you can have for free, its having two living with you that cost money

[AlexRich]

2 hours ago, BestB said:

There are some differences between western wife and Thai. 

 

For starters with a western one you are not expected to support her lazy parents and parasite of a brother, not expected to buy cars and bikes for parents and brothers or houses.

 

a visit to isaan is about showing off, even more so when you have a foreigner .

 

she may well be “normal “ but without gifts , alcohol and money to feed parasites they make her feel ashamed 

 

No one is talking about cars, bikes, or houses for in laws? But if a wife tucks away a few thousand Baht every month it's up to her what she spends it on ... and if the parents are beyond working age and have no social security safety net (unlike the West), then I don't view that as a big deal either? It's fine as long as it is not ridiculous amounts, and that is within the control of the foreign husband. 

 

 

[Enki]

11 hours ago, thailand49 said:

Bangkok can't provide job to the whole population name me another major city like Bangkok in Thailand?

Chiang Mai comes to mind ...

[thaibeachlovers]

21 hours ago, thailand49 said:

We bring our western ways and think it should work here, I hear it every day from expats "  I tell you exactly what to do "  In the end, you are in the driver seat the one that has to control the vehicle. See whether people want to believe it or not but their school system is mainly the blame for not teaching them to critically think instead spend more time teaching them how to be lead by others. In general, they are like to sleep or monkey sees monkey do. Logic doesn't have a thing to do with anything because the expectation they have for farangs although should be the same for a Thai man isn't. What isn't understood by Thais is once you are with a farang (aka ATM) in time they too are view as one but they will never accept or recognized it themselves until they get burn and their hearts and minds are open to hearing the truth. 

You need to learn to recognize that opening and hope to have a conversation to built a foundation but does that mean life will be better hell no!  In time, even if they get it or come around a bit they will become comfortable when they do it is back to the same thing. It is hard work frustrating keeping the straight path,  you will find there are times you compromise but expect that never to happen for them in the manner we want it to?

When it comes to the amount it seems a lot to us for 3 days, but below the surface more going on than they will ever tell you?  As noted, it is about face, showing off, and the expectation she herself has been brainwashed by her own culture that she has to provide and providing is thru you the main reason she is married to you.  We don't want to hear it but that is the truth!

In my own relationship, we travel to her farm for 3 or 4 days that is as much as I can take and her mother and family have never asked me for anything good simple people but does that mean I just take it for granted she doesn't need money and let her crash and burn?

Prior to the trip, I try to have a conversation to prod her without her knowing to gain insight into the trip I find there is always some plan but don't want to tell you directly or can't. Even when I determine I know what is expected when we are there we do a bit of shopping prior to our visit, then when there food for the family get together to cook themselves or go out to eat when Thais eat you got to supply beer or liquor. When we are there I take her mom to Big C to buy living supplies usually another 2000 baht this is for the year. I get it out of her what is reasonable to give her mother to make her comfortable,  she lives on 1000 baht a month for S.S. the rest the brothers and family help out. After all these years I pretty much just round it out to 10,000 baht she needs to distribute to her mom and brothers this is all face whether people like it or not that is my situation you will need to find yours?

Whenever I faced a request for money from my beloved, I always looked at it from the point of view that if she hadn't married me what would she have done.

If it was a genuine need I'd pay, but if it was just for face or some such BS, no.

So, if we went out for dinner, I'd pay for the meal as it was my treat, but I wouldn't pay for her alcohol, as she could afford to pay for her own drug.

[thaibeachlovers]

19 minutes ago, Enki said:

Chiang Mai comes to mind ...

LOL. C M is tiny in comparison to Bkk. I lived there, so I think I know.

[thaibeachlovers]

6 hours ago, EVENKEEL said:

I think there is a world of difference between the thinking of posters. You have one group who is still working making large money and one group who is scraping by on a small pension and one group who is just posting nonsense hoping for a response. For many working offshore 3-5 hrs OT is equal to what their wife or G/F monthly salary would be. 

 

In the US back in the not so long ago past, fathers made enough money to support the family and the mother was a housewife. What's wrong with that?

The difference was that a western housewife actually worked. A Thai wife if staying at home ( unless kids under school age ) probably plays on her phone, watches soaps, gossips, drinks etc.

[thaibeachlovers]

12 hours ago, thailand49 said:

Get your head out of the sand buddy,  have you one idea as to what Thailand is all about?  The way you talk your balls must be scraping the dirt? Job what job, Oh I know you got the answer " but where I come from that is exactly what is done "  get off your butt and start to do some real research about their education system. The way they discriminated against their own people you go to school for 12 years so you can get a job at 7/11 after a few years your too old so they replace you with a new younger model. Go to any mall you want in Thailand, look at the cashiers at all the major departments like Big C, Lotus, KFC, Swenson, coffee shop see any old people? But when you take a crap while you washing your hands look up and see the old lady cleaning up after you.

To go to a low-level university you got to have money which the general population can't even afford the uniform that is required of them.  Yes, you are thinking yea in Bangkok, Bangkok can't provide job to the whole population name me another major city like Bangkok in Thailand?

Sure it is all relative, pay her own bills and expenses if she didn't have a choice or before the ATM came along. Socialism is a popular word today if you had a choice yourself would you pay your bills yourself or have someone else pay it for you?????

LOL.

Considering that the number of Thai women married to farangs is miniscule in proportion to Thai women married to poor Thai men on average wage just how do all those millions and millions of Thai wives survive without being given thousands of baht to go visit their family for 3 days?

If they hadn't married an ATM, would they even be driving a car, or taking the bus?

[BestB]

7 hours ago, crickets said:

I bet you are not well off. Have little money to spend except for yourself.

I only wish to be as well off as you one day . Maybe I wait for my pension days to be in such position

[KiChakayan]

On 3/13/2019 at 10:22 PM, NanLaew said:

Got almost 14,000 "likes" so I'm doing fine.

 

Thanks for your concern though.

"Likes" give you a good orgasm too?

 

Poor sod...

[thailand49]

On 3/14/2019 at 3:58 PM, thaibeachlovers said:

Whenever I faced a request for money from my beloved, I always looked at it from the point of view that if she hadn't married me what would she have done.

If it was a genuine need I'd pay, but if it was just for face or some such BS, no.

So, if we went out for dinner, I'd pay for the meal as it was my treat, but I wouldn't pay for her alcohol, as she could afford to pay for her own drug.

Alcohol and drugs are two separate items, so whenever you do go out this happens you ask for a separate check?????