Another one bites the dust (me)

[richard_smith237]

OP... IF your visa situation was secure, would you stay with your wife after she mentioned she has waisted the last 4 years?

 

Answer this and you may feel more sound in your decision. 

 

I read that you are 45 yrs old and unable to secure a Retirement Visa. There maybe other visa alternatives (agents etc), also, if you are not poor you may consider the Thai Elite 5 year visa a viable option, meaning you don't have to rely on your wife and negotiation. 

 

 

Its Marriage and marriages fail for whatever reasons.... Thai-Thai, Thai-Western, Western-Western... there is no hard rules or perfect situation just a unknown set of combinations which means one multifaceted relationship is successful and lasts when another doesn't... People also change and success always takes a little effort. 

 

 

If all you are concerned about is your Visa issues then you may not be as tied down to this woman as you think (i.e. there are other options).

 

Just out of curiosity - what is the age difference?

 

 

 

[glennb6]

at the risk of harsh or snarky replies, which couldn't care less about really...

 

that 'value added thing' is when you show respect, fidelity, politeness, eat her shitty cooking with a smile and complement. it's she wants to go to XXX restaurant and you really wanted YYY, and you go to XXX.

civility and a smile when you don't really feel like it, and it's even been doing the dishes once in a while regardless of being told I don't know how.  probably lots of personal variations on this attitude but the point of respect and being a nice and loving person is a constant.

 

I consider this a two way street and far more important than how much you or she contribute financially.

 

in the past was married, time went by, there were ups and downs but normal i though. certainly were enough times it felt like i was walking through a minefield though. eventually it all came apart and i was forced to split. not happy with the whole situation and confused as to why.

 

gradually over about a two year period i started to realize that the marriage was never as good as i had hoped it to be. i put up with a lot of disrespect and abuse by telling myself to just be calm, don't fight back, be cool. i lay a lot of fault on my x, and even more as time has gone by since splitting. i feel much better as a free man and will never again put up with the shit i used to 'just for the sake of a stable relationship'.  ????

[Skallywag]

16 minutes ago, LomSak27 said:

I ended up reading it four or five times and still have no idea what you are ON about.

 

1) people claiming succesful relationaship with.

2) own job

3) never worked in a bar

 ----- This takes place on ------ " TV"     (??????)

= sexless marriage

 

I admit I do not watch much TV. I watch MLB games at 6AM, beyond that our cable has bad, dated, movies that I rarely watch but again I ask ... WHAT IN GODS NAME ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, OR WATCHING?               

TV he is referring to is this forum, Thai Visa (TV) .  So People here on Thai Visa is the context

Made me laugh though as of course the acronym TV is for Television also..

[PerkinsCuthbert]

1 hour ago, Orton Rd said:

Those girls are almost all the same, shallow braindeads interested in all the same material junk, food, family, 'religious' bribery and annoying social media fixations and selfie addictions. As I said you, and most would be well out of it. They all look nice- at first.

As opposed to the farang men, who are almost all the same, shallow braindeads interested in the same junk, sex, beer, cars, motorcycles and annoying dating site fixations.

Oh well, at least we don't have the selfie additions.

[marcusarelus]

7 hours ago, tingtongtourist said:

 ANY relationship anywhere will not survive if female thinks

" there is no benefit to me at all" or

 " I getting nothing out of this"

 

And dont believe posters here who say they never contribute 1 baht.

complete BS!

 

If can afford to have a woman around, you must get skilled and play this game.

Contribute yes, but just enough, without being a walking ATM.

 

sex and the pบssy are a commidity here, that is the truth.

Even if you had a good girl it wont be long before some thai will convince her she is an idiot for

" giving away to the farang for free"

 

OP, if money running low, its really best to get out and do it alone

before you are totally skint.

(because for sure, they WONT look after you then!)

 

you can take care yourself and live cheap in Thailand, happy alone with the right attitude.

even a few LTs and STs now and then will never cost what marriage does.

 

The example from Thai guys will tells you marriage is for mugs here!

Thats why they run away, so not to be milked dry and then deserted..

 

And even worse for us because everything here is set up to benefit Thais: not farang!

 

your marriage visa finished: get out next week!!

 

Ask yourself what Thai woman ask..

"what am i getting out of this??"

they even make the marriage visa rules to be benefit them.unbelievable!!

 

 and what you get:

1. Pay for a bit of mediocre uninterested sex,

2. the pleasure of slowly getting milked dry.

3. the pleasure of providing everything then in the end being insulted, disrespected and called names and kee-niaw

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I like #2.

[LomSak27]

Just now, Skallywag said:

TV he is referring to is this forum, Thai Visa (TV) .  So People here on Thai Visa is the context

Made me laugh though as I grew up with TV being the Television also

Thanks, helps a lot. I do not read many of these "human interest" stories from members here on TV (thaivisa), so no context for quoted statement on previous post.

 

Now that I think about it, that is a good reason NOT TO read the "relationship and dating advice" forums here on TV.   ????    stick to the news and MLB games, heh.

[Pravda]

21 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

OP... IF your visa situation was secure, would you stay with your wife after she mentioned she has waisted the last 4 years?

 

I would.

 

 

[rumak]

31 minutes ago, LomSak27 said:

admit I do not watch much TV. I watch MLB games at 6AM, beyond that our cable has bad, dated, movies that I rarely watch but again I ask ... WHAT IN GODS NAME ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, OR WATCHING?               

i know what cable provider you are talking about.   about the only thing can watch is the sports.  the rest is repeat repeat repeat .  and then again repeat repeat repeat.    Got Netflix 2 months ago.... should keep me 

occupied for a while till the same thing happens ( lack of watchable material).   For now with the bad air it

is a help passing the time.

[Mansell]

8 hours ago, Pravda said:

 

She won't sign the papers.

 

I mean she won't sign the copies. id card, marriage cert......

I like the advice of sticking around for a bit checking out other parts of the country. I understand no visa.....why not cross into Lao and come back on a tourist visa, or visit Vietnam for a while. Sounds like you are younger than most of us, so that should give you some options. I feel for your situation, but not a lot you can do but move on. 

I was married and thought a pretty happy Thai marriage. I did notice she didn't like being wrong about anything. One evening a movie came on the TV and as I started watching it she pointed out incorrectly I had seen it before. As she would watch movies on her laptop she confused herself thinking I watched them with her. I said, "No, I haven't seen this film." She got very righteous and annoying with the whole thing, and I said angrily, "I haven't seen it, and I should know what I have seen." She got up and started packing, called for a taxi and headed to Phuket airport and flew back to her family. And that was the end of that marriage. So they can act in a stubborn crazy way on the flip of a dime.

But now I am married to a lovely, smart, and beautiful woman who loves to laugh and enjoy life and me. Actually it is like night and day. I think there is a tendency to cut them a lot of slack because many times we are older and feel pretty privileged to be with a younger and beautiful woman, and the options back in the home country are slim to nothing. Good luck with it all.

[1FinickyOne]

9 hours ago, ezzra said:

marrying a Thai is a crapshoot game

thankfully in the west there are no divorces... especially amongst people of the same culture.

 

I would like to hear the wife's side of the story...

 

But, either way - good luck to the OP

[Janner1]

Pre menstrual tension because they know the period is coming and they are not pregnant, then they get post menstrual tension because they just know the period is coming IF they don’t Get pregnant. Either way they will chuck the kitchen cabinets and all of the contents at you, but it does not mean they want a divorce.

 

If you are happy with her apart from the paddies just hang in there and see what happens, show her you really care and take her out for a slap up Khao Pad Gai , or chicken noodle soup dinners at one of the many cheap Charlie (your words) street food vendors, and she will either love you all over again or kill you slowly.

 

Not being facetious buddy just trying to relieve your bad mood and put a smile on your face.

Take care and good luck she probably did not mean all that she said so play it by ear for a bit longer and see what happens

[BritManToo]

54 minutes ago, LomSak27 said:

I was cranking through this extended OP, and came to your post ... and this little paragraph. I ended up reading it four or five times and still have no idea what you are ON about.

 

1) people claiming succesful relationaship with.

2) own job

3) never worked in a bar

 ----- This takes place on ------ " TV"     (??????)

= sexless marriage

 

I admit I do not watch much TV. I watch MLB games at 6AM, beyond that our cable has bad, dated, movies that I rarely watch but again I ask ... WHAT IN GODS NAME ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, OR WATCHING?               

You've never read the 'boaster posters' claiming to be living with an educated white skinned Thai lady their own age from a wealthy Thai/Chinese family, earning loads of her own money, and who never worked as a prostitute and who loves them for their looks and personality?

 

I'm guessing you're already in a bedroom desert relationship.

[BritManToo]

22 minutes ago, Mansell said:

"I haven't seen it, and I should know what I have seen." She got up and started packing, called for a taxi and headed to Phuket airport and flew back to her family. And that was the end of that marriage.

555, that's one of the best divorce posts I've read .............

[LomSak27]

Just now, BritManToo said:

You've never read the 'boaster posters' claiming to be living with an educated white skinned Thai lady their own age from a wealthy Thai/Chinese family, earning loads of her own money, and who never worked as a prostitute?

 

I'm guessing you haven't been getting much sex with your misses for a very long time.

 your punch line is that cliched 'one trick pony'. You keep working these 'boaster posts', looks like you have a good thing going here.

[richard_smith237]

9 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

You've never read the 'boaster posters' claiming to be living with an educated white skinned Thai lady their own age from a wealthy Thai/Chinese family, earning loads of her own money, and who never worked as a prostitute and who loves them for their looks and personality?

 

I'm guessing you're already in a bedroom desert relationship.

 

You mention this or similar such drivel so often it would imply a degree of envy that you may be unfit for anything beyond pay for play.

[LomSak27]

19 minutes ago, rumak said:

i know what cable provider you are talking about.   about the only thing can watch is the sports.  the rest is repeat repeat repeat .  and then again repeat repeat repeat.    Got Netflix 2 months ago.... should keep me 

occupied for a while till the same thing happens ( lack of watchable material).   For now with the bad air it

is a help passing the time.

Because of the air this month I am looking at the tube more, sure. That said, I like MLB, so that works with coffee in the morning. The early morning broadcast is the live game broadcast. However, if you remember that post on a topic you started … eh, I am flying out Wednesday, Qatar form CNX, one month in the Aegean, one in Puget Sound.
I’ll deal with TV or Netflix when I return.mmm  Aloha

 

 

[mike787]

36 minutes ago, Mansell said:

I like the advice of sticking around for a bit checking out other parts of the country. I understand no visa.....why not cross into Lao and come back on a tourist visa, or visit Vietnam for a while. Sounds like you are younger than most of us, so that should give you some options. I feel for your situation, but not a lot you can do but move on. 

I was married and thought a pretty happy Thai marriage. I did notice she didn't like being wrong about anything. One evening a movie came on the TV and as I started watching it she pointed out incorrectly I had seen it before. As she would watch movies on her laptop she confused herself thinking I watched them with her. I said, "No, I haven't seen this film." She got very righteous and annoying with the whole thing, and I said angrily, "I haven't seen it, and I should know what I have seen." She got up and started packing, called for a taxi and headed to Phuket airport and flew back to her family. And that was the end of that marriage. So they can act in a stubborn crazy way on the flip of a dime.

But now I am married to a lovely, smart, and beautiful woman who loves to laugh and enjoy life and me. Actually it is like night and day. I think there is a tendency to cut them a lot of slack because many times we are older and feel pretty privileged to be with a younger and beautiful woman, and the options back in the home country are slim to nothing. Good luck with it all.

You found a nice unicorn!  And I/we are truly happy for you.  Really! 

[AlexRich]

None of us are on the planet that long, so best focus on enjoying life and don’t worry too much about anything ... I’m not a religious person but “this too, shall pass” pretty much sums up my thoughts on setbacks. Sometimes your best experiences in life come shortly after your worst.

 

So it’s time to move on with your life, with all the possibilities out there ... your idea to take a TEFL course will allow you to stay in Thailand and gives you a bit of breathing space to work out what you want long term. That’s a start. Good luck.

[Traubert]

2 hours ago, xtrnuno41 said:

It really doesnt matter if she is Thai or whatever.

 

Hallelujah brother.

 

Women - snakes with tits. Wherever they are from.

[Nyezhov]

12 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

you may be unfit for anything beyond pay for play.

Thats me! Im so unfit, I dont even pay for play anymore, I just find women who hate me and I give them stuff. Hey baby, hate me me? Sure! Cool, here have my left 'nad, your gf allready has the right one.

[jgarbo]

10 hours ago, giddyup said:

Yeah, marrying your own kind, ie another falang, is guaranteed success. Not.

Latest numbers 50% divorce rate. What exactly is one's own kind? Man and Man?

[richard_smith237]

7 minutes ago, Nyezhov said:

21 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

you may be unfit for anything beyond pay for play.

Thats me! Im so unfit, I dont even pay for play anymore, I just find women who hate me and I give them stuff. Hey baby, hate me me? Sure! Cool, here have my left 'nad, your gf allready has the right one.

 

When I'm old and divorced or worse, widowed and become a dirty old man I'll revel in it...  

 

But I won't be under the flawed and embarrassingly sad pretense that this is the only way it is and pull the wool over my own eyes that the younger guys aren't with the better looking, smarter hotter women for reasons beyond financial incentive.

 

I won't try and secure confirmation bias from the other 'dirty old men' and fool myself into the belief that the younger guys with the hotter women are lying with repetitive digs at those with 'financially independent, well educated, light skinned women' as if these women are something unachievable because this has always fallen outside of the realm of possibility for me because even in my young years I was such a chauvinistic bigot I couldn't maintain such a relationship... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[SOTIRIOS]

...honestly...???

 

...there never was anything there...

 

...never is...just our delusions and wishful thinking...

 

...on 'their side'...calculating...biding their time.....what will they get...how...when....

 

...sorry but....that is the truth most of the time...

 

...hope you didn't lose much....and hope she won't try some further shenanigans to try to milk you or bilk you out of more....

 

...be very careful...

 

...we know nothing...and 'they'...despite apparent ignorance ot indifference...know everything...

 

...and everyone will support their side...and whatever story they decide to spew...

 

...and there is no one there for you...

 

...lawyers....I had 3.....they gave her everything she wanted....almost...except my total demise...

 

...don't dream of 'a possibility'...and watch she doesn't provoke you...that may be in the cards...

 

...an unknown boyfriend or 'hero' may step in on her behalf...or she can buy extra support...

 

...make sure she doesn't have an insurance policy out on you....

 

...and of course expect the 'call the police and immigration threats'...

 

...the public slander...unbeknownst to you...must have already started...'the smear campaign'...

 

...'bad farang this...and bad farang that'...

 

...Godspeed out of there....

 

...ouch....

 

[brokenbone]

without passion there is nothing to salvage

[BritManToo]

48 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

You mention this or similar such drivel so often it would imply a degree of envy that you may be unfit for anything beyond pay for play.

How many guys do you know over 60 that are able to pull young attractive women? (and aren't famous or fabulously rich) Just wait until you get older then see the choices you have without payment.

 

I've actually met some quite nice older expat ladies, but 'friends only' I'm afraid, they just don't work for me as sexual partners.

[Dumbastheycome]

Always  two sides to such  events.

Whatever  your  outcome I  hope  is happy.

[Khaeng Mak]

OP.  Don't fret about your situation too much.  Most if not all posters here on TV are just one more bad retirement or marriage extension rule change away from being removed for good from their wives anyway.  Whether or not they still have a working relationship does not matter one iota.

[Suradit69]

11 hours ago, ezzra said:

Sigh.. marrying a Thai is a crapshoot

Given the divorce rate in western countries (and the number of farang victims coming here looking for greener pastures), the problem may have factors other than one person being Thai. 

 

This quote is as of 2014

Quote

The divorce rate is still high in the U.S. at 53%. But Spain, Portugal, Luxembourg, the Czech Republic, and Hungary are worse off with divorce rates higher than 60%. Belgium has the highest rate of divorce in this data set at a staggering 70%. The lowest officialrate is in Chile with 3%.

 

[Nyezhov]

21 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

younger guys aren't with the better looking, smarter hotter women for reasons beyond financial incentive.

they are...but I bet I could lure half of them away with cash ????

 

The girls I mean. Guys are gross, yuck

[tlandtday]

So many guys come on here complain about their situations get advice they don't really want to hear than go back to the same ole shit again like a puppy dog lol.