Bar girl

[IAMHERE]

Don't come back at xmas, visit another SE Asian country. You are young, don't get stuck in a rut visiting just one country. 

[dlclark97]

You have had a few replies that suggest you reconnect and see how it goes.  I thoroughly agree.  You say you have experience here and know what goes on.  So, reconnect and use your experience to determine if this is a good relationship to continue.  The fact here is that Thai girls are expected to help support their families doing whatever it takes for that to happen.  Thai men for some reason do not seem to have the same demands placed on them.  If the girl has grown up outside of the major cities and is from a typically poor family she does not have the education needed to obtain work that pays a living wage.  So...…..  This does not mean she is not or can not be a good girl or a good wife.  Are you a virgin and have expectations of marrying one?  If so, grow up.  Things have changed and the Asian culture and cultural norms are vastly different than in your homeland.  Should you marry this Thai girl or any other Thai girl you must be aware that unless her family is well off, the need and demands for her help her family with money will continue for as long as they are alive.  It may not require much money but can be a 'bone of contention' as your lives together progress.  There is also the Sin Sod (Dowry) that is paid to the family when the daughter marries.  This is a negotiable amount but a very strong Thai tradition.  If the family is well off it may only be given for 'show' and returned after the ceremony.  Don't count on that.  And, in part due to their education or lack thereof as well as typically very strong family ties there could be difficulty with her moving to another country if that should become necessary.  It does happen and it can work but may need your understanding and help with some things.  I have a Thai wife and cultural norms different from your own can sometimes be an issue but do not have to be a deal breaker.  With a little understanding from both parties you can both have a happy life.  From me experience......….  My wife came from a farm and from very nice parents.  Her education level would not qualify her for many occupations but she has developed skills that would enable her to work in many decent paying occupations.  She is an accomplished SCUBA diver and could easily go on to be an instructor.  Her ability to put things in the ground and make them grow far exceed any of my expectation of doing the same.  She also has experience in hydroponic growing systems and could work where any of these skills are needed.  I am much older than she and the love and care she provides me even when I am in poor health more than compensates for the differences we do have.  So, by all means give her another chance.  Forget what her current occupation may be, she could really end up being the girl of your dreams.       

[spidermike007]

On 11/26/2019 at 6:20 AM, spidermike007 said:

If he was in a position to support her, he would have a reasonable complaint. Otherwise she is going to do what she needs to do and if he cannot understand that he does not have a clue. 

Absolutely correct. If he were in a position to send her enough money to live on, he could afford to be possessive and jealous. As of now, he simply occupies the rather lowly position of a customer. And perhaps a friend too. But, friendship only buys you loyalty, once earned. And even then not all the time!

 

[spidermike007]

In all the years I have been here, I have only met one guy who was gutsy and honest enough to admit he married a bar girl. He said I know what she was doing before, she was already in her early 30's, so she was probably well past 1,000 to 2,000 "customers", but I adore her, and she seems level headed. He also admitted to being very active in that area too. After 15 years they are still together, and she is quite a good woman. So you never know. Personally, many of the women I have met in the US were well past 500 lovers, I am sure. We always tend to think our women are far more innocent, than they really are. 

 

Granted, it takes an open minded man, with some real heart and soul, to do what he did. And the one thing he did do right, was that he took over two years to get to know her first. Most women here are usually pushing the timetable. Only by pushing back, can you really have the opportunity to know who she really is.

[BritManToo]

On 11/26/2019 at 12:41 PM, Sanmiguel5 said:

Maybe I just needed 20 sour men with more experience than I do to confirm my many suspiciouns. Anyhow, I'm thankfull for all the comments. 

Sour, no,

Enjoying the easily available sex with many attractive young women, yes.

[Deerculler]

I think you know the answer.

[Seeall]

On 11/26/2019 at 5:35 AM, champers said:

I think all women have an expectation that a good man will be able to support them financially, not just in Thailand. Taking her out for a meal once in a while would make a nice change from 7/11 food.

Perhaps you could look for a cougar; an older woman who would support you. All depends how ripped and handsome you are. You say you are in construction so you should be up to the mark.

Good luck, stud.

western bitches are a lot worse...    huge shopping list expecting the world...  I love the thai girls NOT SO MUCH THE BAR GIRLS... their inosence and devotion...  u just cant find that..   the hardest thing is breaking up with them..

[CM Dad]

If you meet a woman, or a man, in a bar, and if you care about them and want a serious relationship then give them enough financial support to stay out of the bar.  If you are not willing to do that then you have no right to be judgemental. 

[Quack]

She probably does like you because you're young, but at the same time you don't have any money for her so she has to continue working. She's young herself so I doubt she really knows what to do, sounds like she wants to keep seeing you but at the same time she has to keep working to make money. But typical thai girl, she is denying that she is working because she knows you won't like it.  In other words, she doesn't really know what she wants. 

 

Anyway, the situation probably wouldn't change unless you were suddenly able to support her so she can stop working. A factory job with a <deleted> salary won't cut it for her, it's not enough. 

 

I doubt you can afford to start supporting her, especially as you are probably saving most of your money to come back to Thailand when possible. So the situation will continue as it is, for as long as you're involved with her. 

 

Best thing, if you can, dump her and find a regular girl that's nowhere near the bar scene. It's very easy to do, especially at your age. If you have better than average looks you'll probably be able to find hundreds, actually. ????

 

So just do that. 

[Skallywag]

2 hours ago, Chazar said:

yeah but at least that 19 times  less  chance of picking up something nasty.

Not if the husband is frequenting prostitutes himself and lovingly passing it on

[spidermike007]

22 minutes ago, Seeall said:

western bitches are a lot worse...    huge shopping list expecting the world...  I love the thai girls NOT SO MUCH THE BAR GIRLS... their inosence and devotion...  u just cant find that..   the hardest thing is breaking up with them..

I just returned from the US. I have a good friend, who met a gal from Colombia online, and flew her to Miami. She is 19. He is in his mid 40's. She is sort of cute. Has a nice body, if you like that cartoon body look. He spends a fortune on her. Putting her through school, buying her new wardrobes, flying her around the country, first class. My guess is his monthly budget for her alone is $2000 to $3000 a month.

 

So, you can talk about allowances, and bar girls and Thai GF's all you want. The bottom line is if you are an older guy, who wants to be with an attractive younger gal, you are going to have to pay for it! Anywhere. Here the numbers are alot more realistic, than there. In the PI the numbers are super realistic, if you are willing to live in a Tijuana type environment, with some of the worst food on the planet. 

[sead]

Phone no battery.  You tell her to charge it full next time before she goes out.

Phone no battery. You send her money so that she can buy a battery pack.

Phone no battery because phone old. You send her money to buy new phone.

Phone no internet. You send her money so she can afford better internet.  

Phone no internet. Internet bad where she stays she says.

Cant reach her another couple of days.... Family takes phone saying I cant talk to foreigner since he don't take care me. So time to send small amount of cash.

Have to go funeral because family die or a buffalo is sick need to go doctor.

If she is new to the scene and believe me I haven't met a girl that hasn't been here more that 4 days. And when everyone greets her in streets or disco then when you confront her the answer would be. I haven't been here more than 4 days This time! It's an never ending story that will make you <deleted>. And so we all think that we are the knight in the white horse coming to rescue this girl from the bar scene. But to our all disappointment. .......

Forget about it and soon you will find a normal girl working in that office, mall etc

[Nanaplaza666]

On 11/26/2019 at 3:32 AM, Sanmiguel5 said:

Champers, exactly why would I be more generous? Then all the ones that are after money would flock to me. That is exactly what I don't want. Usually when I meet a bar girl I am done with her after one night. I've only ever had serious girls before from like 7eleven and the kind. So what I basically wanted to know was if this one is worth getting serious with or if I should find a new girl that has an ordinary job.

With being more generous i geuss he means maybe helping her when she pays 1000 baht for a taxi to come see you and has to pay 1000 baht again to go back. and then you want to f... her and feed her 7/11 food and give her a few 100 baht when you leave, thats cheap as f... . So i geuss a girl with an ordinary job will also not be to interested in you, as will any girl in my mind . You have a lot to learn young boy and grow some b... and become a man . Every girl or woman costs you money so don't be so cheap .

[Bangkok Barry]

On 11/26/2019 at 3:32 AM, Sanmiguel5 said:

Champers, exactly why would I be more generous? Then all the ones that are after money would flock to me. That is exactly what I don't want. Usually when I meet a bar girl I am done with her after one night. I've only ever had serious girls before from like 7eleven and the kind. So what I basically wanted to know was if this one is worth getting serious with or if I should find a new girl that has an ordinary job.

 

Ask your self this question: Would I date a prostitute back home. And at the same time, ask your dad there what he thinks about it, not us. That's kind of what fathers are there for, to guide their kid in the right direction.

[mercman24]

been coming here for years and still hasnt sussed it out yet keep trying son, my mate been here 30+ times had a girl for 4 years, sent her 25/30000 a month, she was a *hairdresser* (by day), i was in a bar, a girl sees my line, why you have my friend in your line, she works at ????? bar, oops, i never told him, he was too much of a <deleted> big head, i know it all etc,  seems he found out by other means, i have seen him a couple of times in BKK< just blanks me, he he, and i had some nice photos of his ex to show him ha ha

[Expat Tom]

Chalk it up to the "learning curve". Your lady friend needs to live and if you don't support her she will make her way as a bar girl. I have been in Thailand a long time and many of these ladies have a Thai boyfriend or husband back home and more than one Farang sending monthly money....you are 22? Get real and grow up dude!

[kevin612]

She likes you, but at the same time she needs to look for customers in pattaya.

[jimn]

A hairy bar girl yuk, must stink s bit. A think you have been drinking too many San Migs mate.

[Pedrogaz]

On 11/26/2019 at 5:32 AM, Sanmiguel5 said:

Champers, exactly why would I be more generous? Then all the ones that are after money would flock to me. That is exactly what I don't want. Usually when I meet a bar girl I am done with her after one night. I've only ever had serious girls before from like 7eleven and the kind. So what I basically wanted to know was if this one is worth getting serious with or if I should find a new girl that has an ordinary job.

You seem a bit full of yourself. If you were looking for true love in the UK you probably wouldn't go to a brothel to find one. Accept the situation for what it is....why would she wait for farangs, most of whom never come....she has to eat for goodness' sake and it seems she doesn't eat very well if you are paying.

[Daveyh]

Sorry mate, but my advice is to move on. I've been here for 20yrs & the best policy is for you to let them chase you. If you don't the next time you visit you'll be spending all your time answering your phone, waiting & being sent on a magical mystery tour! Do not tell any of them where you are living & guard your room number as you would your cash. Thai ladies are time wasters & most are so money oriented that "true love" is a myth here & scams are rampant ...... fact.

 

Enjoy your holidays here, develop your sense of not being conned, pay as you go & ask the price, confirm what you are willing to pay, stick to it, enjoy the delights of Pattaya. Don't be taken in by these girls as they are true professionals in extracting cash from tourists, guard your wallet & never allow anyone to see the amount of cash you maybe carrying ........ especially in the "Ago go areas". Stay safe, avoid dark alleys & use the baht buses for moving around at night. Being a "newbie" here it would be wise to stay in the area policed by the tourist police & always ask the price of drinks if it's not advertised in plain view as you can end up with a huge bill ............ enjoy.  

Edited November 28, 2019 by Daveyh

[natway09]

If the glove fits wear it when convenient for you for a while & see where it goes.

Some guys just do not realize that bar girls have a heart as well as you

[NoshowJones]

1 hour ago, Quack said:

She probably does like you because you're young, but at the same time you don't have any money for her so she has to continue working. She's young herself so I doubt she really knows what to do, sounds like she wants to keep seeing you but at the same time she has to keep working to make money. But typical thai girl, she is denying that she is working because she knows you won't like it.  In other words, she doesn't really know what she wants. 

 

Anyway, the situation probably wouldn't change unless you were suddenly able to support her so she can stop working. A factory job with a <deleted> salary won't cut it for her, it's not enough. 

 

I doubt you can afford to start supporting her, especially as you are probably saving most of your money to come back to Thailand when possible. So the situation will continue as it is, for as long as you're involved with her. 

 

Best thing, if you can, dump her and find a regular girl that's nowhere near the bar scene. It's very easy to do, especially at your age. If you have better than average looks you'll probably be able to find hundreds, actually. ????

 

So just do that. 

Yes, I fully agree with your last paragraph, that a young guy who has better than average looks, has a real good chance of a relationship with an ordinary Thai girl.

Although I wasn't exactly young when I first came to Thailand, I dated office girls, Market stall girls etc, before I met my wife.

[zhounan]

Every very businesswoman keep contact with his customers????

Spend your safe and relaxing life in your homeland. This is my personal suggestion. The more days pass, the worse it is here.

[NoshowJones]

2 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

In all the years I have been here, I have only met one guy who was gutsy and honest enough to admit he married a bar girl. He said I know what she was doing before, she was already in her early 30's, so she was probably well past 1,000 to 2,000 "customers", but I adore her, and she seems level headed. He also admitted to being very active in that area too. After 15 years they are still together, and she is quite a good woman. So you never know. Personally, many of the women I have met in the US were well past 500 lovers, I am sure. We always tend to think our women are far more innocent, than they really are. 

 

Granted, it takes an open minded man, with some real heart and soul, to do what he did. And the one thing he did do right, was that he took over two years to get to know her first. Most women here are usually pushing the timetable. Only by pushing back, can you really have the opportunity to know who she really is.

Over the years, I have met a few farang guys who admitted to being married to ex bar girls, and at least three of them are still happily married to them today.

[4MyEgo]

On 11/26/2019 at 7:07 AM, Sanmiguel5 said:

So do you guys think she really is turning over a new leaf? The whole situation is so weird. If she wanted to scam someone I would be the worst farang in Pattaya.

So she is turning over a new leaf, and there you have it, you have judged her based on her employment, she works in a bar, she sleeps with customers to earn a living, oh God forgive Mary please, if your into biblical stories. So you have tainted her with the same brush that most scorn men who have been ripped off or scammed by a "bar girl".

 

On 11/26/2019 at 7:07 AM, Sanmiguel5 said:

Anyone knows if this is a common lie bargirls push to make you feel like they have become good? I should mention that I am 22 years old and this girl is 20.

Did it ever occur to you that perhaps the girl digs you because of your similar ages, as opposed to her having to get into bed with the older crowd, not an easy job, and I couldn't see myself doing it with an older woman, vomit.......but hell, if I needed to survive, well I would have to do what I would have to do and try not to throw up in the process.

 

On 11/26/2019 at 7:07 AM, Sanmiguel5 said:

I work as a construction worker and this girl knows this.

So you have an opportunity, did it occur to you that she doesn't and perhaps why she is where she is.

 

I think you would be best moving on, for her sake, I mean your already starting to sound like the possessive boyfriend, perhaps she doesn't like you knowing what she is doing because she fears of losing you, doesn't want to be labeled a "bar girl" ?

 

There is good and bad in everyone sunshine, I have heard stories of "bar girls" ripping off blokes, and I have heard stories of "bar girls" being faithful and good house wives, I can vouch for my wife of 13 years, and yes she too didn't answer her phone when I was abroad at times, the mind boggles, but she still doesn't answer her phone at times when I ring her, it's a Thai thing, and if you don't have trust in a relationship, you will not survive, that said, I control all of my finances and only invest as much as I am prepared to lose, everyone needs insurance, and that's my insurance if things ever went south, because love only lasts as long as it does, and those that have fallen short of the mark, probably ended up with the scammers who were looking for the $'s which they gave to them because they "loved" them, love has nothing to do with "your" finances, and trust has a lot to do with finances.

 

Hook up with her, don't be so judgemental, because if she is as half decent as my "x bar girl" wife is, your onto a good thing, that said, at 22 the world's your oyster......so feel free to keep on searching, but chemistry is not in every relationship, took me 46 years and a lot of angst to finally find the right chemistry in the female species which I thought didn't exist, and I have been with more women than most blokes can dream about, not bragging, just painted the bigger picture, and when I met this one, I knew it was a risk, but she felt so right, and still have that same feeling today, but hey, sometimes you have to freefall, but always keep your finances separate, doesn't mean you don't support her, i.e. if your in a relationship.

 

Best of luck ????

Edited November 28, 2019 by 4MyEgo

[4MyEgo]

38 minutes ago, Daveyh said:

Sorry mate, but my advice is to move on. I've been here for 20yrs & the best policy is for you to let them chase you. If you don't the next time you visit you'll be spending all your time answering your phone, waiting & being sent on a magical mystery tour! Do not tell any of them where you are living & guard your room number as you would your cash. Thai ladies are time wasters & most are so money oriented that "true love" is a myth here & scams are rampant ...... fact.

 

Enjoy your holidays here, develop your sense of not being conned, pay as you go & ask the price, confirm what you are willing to pay, stick to it, enjoy the delights of Pattaya. Don't be taken in by these girls as they are true professionals in extracting cash from tourists, guard your wallet & never allow anyone to see the amount of cash you maybe carrying ........ especially in the "Ago go areas". Stay safe, avoid dark alleys & use the baht buses for moving around at night. Being a "newbie" here it would be wise to stay in the area policed by the tourist police & always ask the price of drinks if it's not advertised in plain view as you can end up with a huge bill ............ enjoy.  

What horse/s through you off, read the above post, myth my a$$

[Tony125]

On 11/26/2019 at 12:41 PM, Sanmiguel5 said:

Wow, thanks for all the comments! Didn't expect this many hehe. Well just to clarify a few things for those who are Still interested.

No I'm not a troll. This is the first time I post here. I don't expect her to tell me about her customers. It would just be nice if she admitted that she is in fact working. I don't automatically see all working girls as bad and that I am good. What I meant was that when I am with someone I don't sleep with anybody else and I would like to hold my partner accountable for that as well. Now I know that a thai hooker could never do this which is why I call them "bad". Since you all have confirmed my suspiciouns I won't get a bad conscious if I sleep with another woman. I guess I knew all along what I was getting into but maybe I just needed to blow of some steam on the internet. Maybe I just needed 20 sour men with more experience than I do to confirm my many suspiciouns. Anyhow, I'm thankfull for all the comments. 

 

For those of you calling me a troll.. Really?! You would expect a troll to write a half essay about some girl he met just for sh!ts and giggles? Get over yourself. People aren't that bored. If you see a post you don't like, don't read it. Wow who knew it could be that simple to get out of net trolling?

You are naieve, we have seen many troll posts exactly like your's over many years. Same subject and some longer than yours. You met her at a bar so you know she had/has customers but you say you expect her to tell you she is working when you can't reach her on phone. Why? Don't you think it's embarrasing for her to tell you she is sleeping with guys for money? Maybe she figures you want a good girl so she says she is at a factory or tired or whatever. If you are not supporting her or helping her out at all what do you expect her to do?  And as others have said "stop being a cheap Charlie" , would you take a good girl back home to eat at 7-11 ? When you are here with her treat her like you would do ANY girl , nice dinner somewhere, movie , club trip to beach or around Thailand ---not for snacks at 7-11 real low class.

Also about being cheap Charlie , you know that no matter where she works they don't make much money in Thailand so if she spends her hard earned cash to visit you (1,000 baht taxi fare) be a nice guy and reimburse her the money or money to get home. When inpast I went out with a bargirl (even just once) I paid her fee but gave her some baht to get home.

Edited November 28, 2019 by Tony125

[Pravda]

Where did he say they eat at 7/11?

[UncleMhee]

7 minutes ago, Pravda said:

Where did he say they eat at 7/11?

#1 right off the bat!

Edited November 28, 2019 by UncleMhee

[Pravda]

Just now, UncleMhee said:

#1 right off the bat!

 

Yeah... So pathetic. 

 

I didn't even feed my dog from 7/11