My girlfriends job

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, Dan123 said:

I'll bet he can not see the land title in the girls name, in Thailand its likely the family dont 'own' it anyway, have tenant or usage rights

 .... or her husband's land.

[Kadilo]

1 hour ago, hanuman2543 said:

I suggest you keep your free advice for yourself. Nobody aksked for it. That includes your advice regarding Thai women too.

It’s a forum where people can post whatever they wish (within the rules) and people can choose to read or ignore. It doesn’t have to be asked for or taken. 

 

it’s quite an easy concept. 
 

 

[473geo]

15 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

It’s a forum where people can post whatever they wish (within the rules) and people can choose to read or ignore. It doesn’t have to be asked for or taken. 

 

it’s quite an easy concept. 
 

 

I often read then ignore ????

[hanuman2543]

6 hours ago, Kadilo said:

It’s a forum where people can post whatever they wish (within the rules) and people can choose to read or ignore. It doesn’t have to be asked for or taken. 

 

it’s quite an easy concept. 
 

 

But advice given should be correct and not some lukewarm <deleted>.

Quite easy to understand

[Kadilo]

7 minutes ago, hanuman2543 said:

But advice given should be correct and not some lukewarm <deleted>.

Quite easy to understand

No that’s just your interpretation and what you want. 
Correct to some is not necessarily to others.

Ask the Government. 

[hanuman2543]

7 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

No that’s just your interpretation and what you want. 
Correct to some is not necessarily to others.

Ask the Government. 

I doubt that the majority of forum members will agree with your interpretation. Maybe try a poll

[roaming2019]

4 hours ago, hanuman2543 said:

I doubt that the majority of forum members will agree with your interpretation. Maybe try a poll

it is not important how many agree or disagree - this is a opinion forum . everybody got the right to speak as best as they can .  

[ericthai]

On 4/28/2020 at 7:02 AM, fredwiggy said:

In a country where more than 80 % of the men cheat, and are heavy drinkers, a Thai woman is happy with something better. 

Where do you get your figures??

 

I know allot of Thai guys that dont drink or just have a glass of wine once in awhile and are faithful to their wives. I also know guys are are heavy drinkers and cheat on their wives both in Thailand and in the USA. So 80% of all men or just Thai guys? 

[bwpage3]

You, my friend have a lot to learn.

 

My wife always tells me "Your money is my money" and she is 100% correct.

 

If I didn't want to give her the best of everything, I would not be married.

 

Not sure what you are growing, we have owned a large rice farm for years and never earn one baht.

 

Each year there are planting expenses.

 

The rice feeds a huge extended family.

 

I do if, because I can afford to and I want to.

 

If you cannot afford to, better get truthful with her.

 

The fact you are expecting a return, tells me you have no idea about relationships with Thai farmers.

[bwpage3]

On 4/25/2020 at 2:49 AM, MrMilk said:

The land was given to her as a gift from by mom/dad. I think they jumped the gun a bit early and expected us to get married in not long. 

 

She come from a wealthy family which have a lot of land around in the district. Money is not a concern from them.

 

The thing I don`t get, and have a hard time accepting, is that I should be the one paying for this party.

 

If they want to give her land and secure her income then perfect. Nothing better than that. But shouldn't THEY be the one following up on this too then until she begin earning money from it?

They are so wealthy, they are spending all YOUR money.

 

Land is not cash.

[bwpage3]

On 4/25/2020 at 3:15 AM, MrMilk said:

Not correct at all.

 

I have given her as much as I can, but I simply can not afford to continue doing so. That said, give me something back and I will try my best to make it happen

 

We are both same same when it comes to age, appearance, status. Why do I have to empty my pockets for her company? 

Why are you asking us?

 

There is no such thing as a return.

 

You should have made a plan what to do with any profits and whether or no she thinks she is going to spend the rest of her life with you and you think she is just current GF?

[bwpage3]

On 4/25/2020 at 3:37 AM, MrMilk said:

This is what I been thinking too. And what I chose to believe until recently.

 

She talks about getting married, making a family, and building a house at the land where we can live.

She wants us to do it as soon as possible. Not a doubt in my mind that she actually wants all those things with me.

Her mom too been asking and discreetly pushing about this now and then.

I am the one that been holding back for soon a year now about marriage.

I am not in a rush to get married. I am not in a rush to live on her land 5 min away from her family.

Do you have money for a house?

Do you have money for a car?

Do you have money for Sinsod?

Do you have money for kids?

 

If you are teacher, you have probably screwed yourself.

No one wants to be with a poor farang.

 

Since you are a farang, you are expected to have more. If you can't give her what she wants, it will be over and soon as she realizes.

 

It cost a lot to get married, build a house, car, life.

 

Ask anyone that did it.

 

[fredwiggy]

Bottom line. She isn't treating him as well as she should. Paying for everything, especially here, is what a lot of us do. But if you aren't being respected, have to fight when you are asked where the money is going, or aren't doing your share around the house, you don't deserve anything.

[mikemi]

Hi mr milk, sorry I havent read through the whole thread, but I read halfway

 

Look, either you want to be with the GF long term, or you dont. So choose.

 

I am growing durian with my wife, so I can tell you they arent cheap, they do cost more than most crops.

 

First of all, you need quality land to grow durian. If you have 300 trees I would estimate you have about 20 rai. That land is worth likely 10-15 million baht, so if your GF's family gifted that to you as a couple, thats a wonderful gift. Once the land is loaded with durian it will be worth more.

 

5000 baht a month for vitamins and sprays for 300 durian is bang on, thats exactly what I would expect. And yes there are other costs on top of that, but its worth it in the long run.

 

I know someone who has 20 rai of durian, he did not grow the durian himself he bought the farm last year, the trees are about 10 years old. He paid 20 million baht for it. The trees werent the best maintained out there, but his first harvest he got 4 million baht, less costs. Well maintained trees generate more.

 

So, really, if you want to be with your GF and marry her, then this is a decent long term investment. Anything you put into the land, your money is still in there as the value of the land goes up under your feet by putting the crops.

 

As many on here will tell you, there are ownership issues for foreigners in thailand so any money you do contribute may never come back to you.

 

If you do stay with your GF, a few thousand baht a month is nothing compared to the value of that land, or the income that the durian will bring you.

 

I dont know about diesel generator costs, but I would estimate the costs of running 300 trees should be roughly 20,000 baht a month. Probably even more because there are always things that crop up that werent budgeted for.

 

Sounds to me like you might be on to a winner, but if I were you before putting money in you need to get married and ensure that you stake your claim in some way.

 

Or, if you dont want marriage, or you dont want long term, then leave her.

 

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 4/26/2020 at 12:11 PM, BeltAndRoad said:

get some skin in the game i.e. knock her up,

Having a child on the off chance that they look after one when old and decrepit is not, IMO a valid reason for a western person to bring another person into the world. Obviously it's different when there is no social security, but that doesn't apply to any western person that can go back home if they don't have enough money.

[BritManToo]

7 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Having a child on the off chance that they look after one when old and decrepit is not, IMO a valid reason for a western person to bring another person into the world. Obviously it's different when there is no social security, but that doesn't apply to any western person that can go back home if they don't have enough money.

Should it be different though?

I have 4 in the UK that wouldn't give me the time of day, but 2 in Thailand who are quite nice.

Surely children not looking after their parents is part of the failure that is western culture, and a recent failure at that. I can remember the 1960-1970s where our families took it in turns to look after granny.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 5/27/2020 at 8:33 PM, BritManToo said:

Should it be different though?

I have 4 in the UK that wouldn't give me the time of day, but 2 in Thailand who are quite nice.

Surely children not looking after their parents is part of the failure that is western culture, and a recent failure at that. I can remember the 1960-1970s where our families took it in turns to look after granny.

LOL. When my mother became dependent on help I suggested to my sister that I could move in to do that. She dissuaded me very strongly from that as she knew we would never get on well enough. Significant that she didn't offer to have mother live with her, or even move to the same city.

I never had a good enough relationship with my father to care ( much ).

 

I'd say that one gets back what one puts into a family relationship, and ignoring one's child for 50 years does not lend itself to fond feelings.

[BritManToo]

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

LOL. When my mother became dependent on help I suggested to my sister that I could move in to do that. She dissuaded me very strongly from that as she knew we would never get on well enough. Significant that she didn't offer to have mother live with her, or even move to the same city.

I never had a good enough relationship with my father to care ( much ).

Sister was just making sure you didn't inherit everything.

[thaibeachlovers]

42 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Sister was just making sure you didn't inherit everything.

You are too cynical. My mother didn't have much to pass on and what there was was split equally between us.

She died owning no property as my in laws stabbed my mother, my sister and myself in the back over that. Unfortunately I was overseas while the scam was taking place, so I never knew till too late, and my sister wasn't prepared to do anything about it.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 5/1/2020 at 7:37 AM, bwpage3 said:

Do you have money for a house?

Do you have money for a car?

Do you have money for Sinsod?

Do you have money for kids?

 

If you are teacher, you have probably screwed yourself.

No one wants to be with a poor farang.

 

Since you are a farang, you are expected to have more. If you can't give her what she wants, it will be over and soon as she realizes.

 

It cost a lot to get married, build a house, car, life.

 

Ask anyone that did it.

 

Don't buy a house

Don't buy a car

Don't pay sinsod

Don't have kids.

Problem solved

 

Even better don't get married, or just village wedding.

 

An unmarried man is a happy man in LOS. For the cost of a house, car, sinsod, kids, one can have the life of Riley with as much female companionship as wanted.

[fredwiggy]

20 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Don't buy a house

Don't buy a car

Don't pay sinsod

Don't have kids.

Problem solved

 

Even better don't get married, or just village wedding.

 

An unmarried man is a happy man in LOS. For the cost of a house, car, sinsod, kids, one can have the life of Riley with as much female companionship as wanted.

Along with the disease that comes with it. Old age without love. No legacy you can be proud of.

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, fredwiggy said:

Along with the disease that comes with it. Old age without love. No legacy you can be proud of.

Not entirely sure you can count on your kids loving you when you're old.

Many (grownup) kids just seem to want their parents dead, so they can inherit.

[Peter Denis]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

Not entirely sure you can count on your kids loving you when you're old.

Most kids just seem to want their parents dead, so they can inherit.

Wow!  You have a way of putting things very blunt instead of the politically correct talk, and I appreciate that.

But in this case I don't agree at all that 'most kids' want their parents dead for the heritage.

Yes, unfortunately some of them do but no way they constitute the majority.

[Bender Rodriguez]

7 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Not entirely sure you can count on your kids loving you when you're old.

Many (grownup) kids just seem to want their parents dead, so they can inherit.

and some "kids" here kill of their brothers to get all (recent post)

[BritManToo]

6 minutes ago, Peter Denis said:

Wow!  You have a way of putting things very blunt instead of the politically correct talk, and I appreciate that.

But in this case I don't agree at all that 'most kids' want their parents dead for the heritage.

Yes, unfortunately some of them do but no way they constitute the majority.

You may be right ....... but as a white person, not many of us seem to care all that much about our parents when they are alive.

We don't visit them much or seem to pay them any attention at all really.

Who on this forum spends time with their parents every month? every week? let alone every day?

Who takes their dad out for a drink?

(I went for a drink once with my dad, twice with my son ......... that was it)

[Logosone]

4 minutes ago, Peter Denis said:

Wow!  You have a way of putting things very blunt instead of the politically correct talk, and I appreciate that.

But in this case I don't agree at all that 'most kids' want their parents dead for the heritage.

Yes, unfortunately some of them do but no way they constitute the majority.

You're right, most probably don't, but he has a point it is surprising how many children do not like their parents, don't talk to their father or mother and such. I wouldn't say it is the fault of the parents or children necessarily, sometimes people don't like each other and that can apply to parent and child eventually.

 

But Fred also had a point, of course men also hit a wall and want a companion, ideally someone who is more than good for the release of urges, and yes, men want to be loved even in old age.

 

And they do want a legacy normally.

 

You're all making good points.

[fredwiggy]

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Not entirely sure you can count on your kids loving you when you're old.

Many (grownup) kids just seem to want their parents dead, so they can inherit.

That comes from a household run by greed and being an absent parent, but some kids just go bad, no fault of their parents but having friends that aren't good role models.

[BritManToo]

12 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

That comes from a household run by greed and being an absent parent, but some kids just go bad, no fault of their parents but having friends that aren't good role models.

How long have you spent with your parents?

In the last year?

In the last month?

In the last week?

 

What do you think would be a reasonable amount of time to spend with your parents?

10hrs a year?

10hrs a month?

10hrs a week?

[fredwiggy]

Just now, BritManToo said:

How long have you spent with your parents?

In the last year?

In the last month?

In the last week?

 

What do you think would be a reasonable amount of time to spend with your parents?

10hrs a year?

10hrs a month?

10hrs a week?

They both passed by 2017, but I saw my mom weekly. I lived in Texas and my dad was in New Jersey until he passed, so we didn't see each other much, but talked on the phone. He lived near my brother,and they saw him weekly.  She spent a lot of time with my kids when I worked.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 5/29/2020 at 12:41 PM, fredwiggy said:

Along with the disease that comes with it. Old age without love. No legacy you can be proud of.

Disease- RUBBISH. Use a condom.

My mother was married in her old age and had no love. Being married is no guarantee of "love".

 

My father never remarried after they got divorced and he was probably happier than he would have been if he'd got married again.