I’ve hit the bottom - and I don’t even care..

[HandsomeTallFarang]

And that’s the worst part. When the care stops. When you just don’t give a <deleted> anymore... like you could just die tomorrow, and that seems like it would be ok with you...

 

I need help, but I can’t do it on my own. I’m not strong enough. I was sober for 44 days - and then suddenly, relapsed. A bottle of rum. Every night. Fighting with my girlfriend. Passed out on the Sofa. Late on my bills. Nothing else mattered. Except alcohol.

 

if you told me 4 years ago that I would become a slave to alcohol, I would have laughed in your face. But, things happen, and here I am, sharing one of my darkest demons on a forum of strangers.

 

I haven’t had a bath in ten days. I live like a caveman. I told my friend what I’m going through, and he said “I know that you’re going to Heaven, because now, you’re spending your time in Hell.”

 

 

[faraday]

When you hit rock bottom, the only way is up - back up to sobriety & a happy life.

 

I know this is true.

[timendres]

A close friend, who has now been sober for 26 years, had to wake up in the emergency room with a doctor informing him that he could have died were it not for the actions of the people around him, before he finally got serious about staying sober. It is one of the most difficult battles known to man. He needed AA to get through the first 5 years. After that, he could manage on his own. The important thing is that you can fail many times. As long as you keep trying to succeed.

[orchis]

3 minutes ago, timendres said:

A close friend, who has now been sober for 26 years, had to wake up in the emergency room with a doctor informing him that he could have died were it not for the actions of the people around him, before he finally got serious about staying sober. It is one of the most difficult battles known to man. He needed AA to get through the first 5 years. After that, he could manage on his own. The important thing is that you can fail many times. As long as you keep trying to succeed.

or die.

[madmen]

Thailand is a hard place to give up. I'm fighting the urge 60 day's

You know you can do it because you just did! So you fucled up but its not a race, just get back in the wagon when your done feeling like <deleted>

[talahtnut]

It is good that you have reached the

first stage, ie. realizing what you are,

stage two would be AA.

Hang in there mate.

[AndyAndyAndy]

When you relapse for a night take it as a hickup.

 

You had 44 days. You got drunk. Start tomorrow with 45th day (with one mistake in between). Don't go back to 0. That's where you get drunk for 14 days straight to "get mentally ready to start again". And you just lost all progress so it's ok to drink for a few days. Just continue with 45th. There will be less hickups as you go.

 

Also you have to replace your drinking with something. Like run a 10k every single night. Spend 4 hours every evening restoring some old car. Just don't sit in the same environment (minus alcohol).

[darksidedog]

An insensitive post has been removed.

If you have nothing positive to add to this thread, then kindly don't bother.

[RJRS1301]

You achieved 44 days of sobriety, as another person said begin on your 45th day. Remember it ONE day at a time. If you achieve a shower on day 45, then you have achieved that, repeat on day 46. Build on the strength you had for 44 days.

Seek profession support in your area, or online mentoring from AA. ?Samaritans

Good luck 

[stouricks]

1 hour ago, CorpusChristie said:

To get your drinking under control you should ditch the rum and drink Tappers 6.5% lager .

 

And then descend to Heineken 0%!

[Oldie]

What was the reason that you could live without alcohol so many days? The alcohol ban? If so then go only shopping at times when no alcohol can be bought. Also your girlfriend could go shopping for you and she could take care of your spendings. Without money in the pocket you can't buy alcohol. 

[Orton Rd]

It is possible to pay the bills, have a shower and avoid argements, yet still drink every day. No need to give up drinking, just cut it down to a few days a week.

[Rimmer]

Troll post removed

[RJRS1301]

A question you need to contemplate is:

Controlled drinking and reduction or abstinence ?

Identify your close supports

Seek a mentor and a counselor to address the myriad of reasons behind the problem

Remember one day at a time 

[GBW]

Firstly, have a shower and clean up, it will make you feel better.

Im not encouraging you drinking, but dont stop entirely before consulting a doctor, which I recommend you do, PRONTO. A doctor could prescribe Diazepam, which will help with withdrawal, sleep and help reduce the possibilities of seizure etc. 

For god sake, dont think its over yet, its quite possible that its just the beginning. 

You have reached out and that is an amazing effort on your behalf. 

Have you been eating daily? Are you getting sleep? 

I am a sober alcoholic, each day is a battle. 

If you wish to message me private, feel free.

Good luck mate.

[chuang]

If you can still write to TV you are sober..so remain so.

[HandsomeTallFarang]

Today, is a new day. 
 

I need someone to teach me how to be whole again.  This is not something you do everyday; this is not easy for me...

[frequentatore]

10 minutes ago, HandsomeTallFarang said:

Today, is a new day. 
 

I need someone to teach me how to be whole again.  This is not something you do everyday; this is not easy for me...

 Go to the park; walk everyday or rent a bike.

[Cake Monster]

You have already faced up to the most difficult hurdle to overcome.

You admit to a drink problem.

Now you need to take a long shower, and think about getting some real  help for yourself.

There are organisations out there for tortured souls such as you, and you just need to make initial contact with them to get that help you obviously need.

Good luck and be strong

 

[sead]

Sometimes it's hard to get back to reality and know that your problems hasn't disappeared. But you started it all by letting yourself into it. First you need to figure out if your gf is something to keep. If she is a good one that takes care of you in good and bad times without asking for money then she's good for you. If you can't pay bills etc then get sober and tell all you own to that you had a dip in your life but now you have to start paying back. Many choices but it all starts with you. Gl on your journey 

[pineapple01]

I thought this was about Boats.!

[RJRS1301]

Is AntAbuse or similar available in Thailand?

See a medico and see what supports may be available 

 

Antabuse (disulfiram) Uses, Dosage, Side Effects - Drugs.com

https://www.drugs.com/antabuse.html

Antabuse (disulfiram) blocks an enzyme that is involved in processing alcohol. Disulfiram produces very unpleasant side effects (such as fast heartbeat, chest pain, nausea, dizziness, flushing, and thirst) when combined with alcohol in the body.

[Bender Rodriguez]

Isn't there medication that you have to take, that will make you SICK if you dare to drink alcohol ? forgot the name

[Canuck1966]

I would say Thailand is an extremely difficult place to get where you are right now to sobriety & a better mind set

IMO go back to your own country if possible and get the required help

It will be difficult to find here & there are too many temptations 

Edited June 5, 2020 by Canuck1966

[Puchaiyank]

Life is good and needs to be experienced first hand without the debilitating effects of drugs or alcohol.

 

Get a grip!  Take a bath, put on clean clothes, apologise to your gf... and get yourself to a local AA meeting immediately...they can help you!  You need the support of survivors...do not delay!

 

Good Luck!

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, HandsomeTallFarang said:

A bottle of rum. Every night. Fighting with my girlfriend. Passed out on the Sofa. Late on my bills. Nothing else mattered. Except alcohol.

You obviously did not hit rock bottom yet. You still can afford that rum and you have a girlfriend and a sofa.

Maybe ask yourself if you care enough to keep what you still have.

If you are out on the street without sofa and without girlfriend and without your rum then I am sure you think: I should have stopped before I lost everything.

Good luck, take care!

[OneMoreFarang]

2 minutes ago, Canuck1966 said:

I would say Thailand is an extremely difficult place to get where you are right now to sobriety & a better mind set

IMO go back to your own country if possible and get the required help

It will be difficult to find here & there are too many temptations 

But when you are back "home", maybe in a cold climate with no friends and only ugly old women around you where is the motivation to stop drinking?

[rhodie]

46 minutes ago, HandsomeTallFarang said:

Today, is a new day. 
 

I need someone to teach me how to be whole again.  This is not something you do everyday; this is not easy for me...

https://www.aathailand.org/meetings/Bangkok 

 

Good luck!

[JensenZ]

2 hours ago, timendres said:

A close friend, who has now been sober for 26 years, had to wake up in the emergency room with a doctor informing him that he could have died were it not for the actions of the people around him, before he finally got serious about staying sober. It is one of the most difficult battles known to man. He needed AA to get through the first 5 years. After that, he could manage on his own. The important thing is that you can fail many times. As long as you keep trying to succeed.

There's a lot more to success than staying alive. He might have been upset that his friends saved him. There are worse ways to check out than in a drunken stupour. We're all going there so who's to say what is the right time.

 

The way some people talk here one might think we are supposed to live forever.

[JensenZ]

3 hours ago, faraday said:

When you hit rock bottom, the only way is up - back up to sobriety & a happy life.

 

I know this is true.

Yes, at rock bottom dying would be a relief.