Wife always getting angry and short tempered..

[Keyser Soze666]

4 minutes ago, kekalot said:

I would leave, do your best regarding the kids but you shouldn't be in an unhappy relationship just because of kids, they pick up on that and you usually end up ruining their life and views of relationships too.

I got a vasectomy a few years ago cause my son is going on 20 years old and I didn't want to deal with this kind of stuff and more responsibilities.

 

I met a few girls who flat out won't date me if I tell them that I can't have kids but the fact is that even if I could, I wouldn't.

 

I always told myself one thing, if me or the girlfriend is not happy.. it's time for one of us to leave and I have no problem being the person to leave.

I would rather leave and have my girlfriend happy with someone else than unhappy with me.

That's all very well, but I would worry about my kids if I wasn't around all the time.

[kingofthemountain]

19 minutes ago, AshMart said:

What do you expect? You think they married you for your good looks? Be real and face the real world. 

How do you know how the both look like?

All the thai girls aren't supermodels

i see on a daily basis mixed couples 

were the girl is as ugly as the man, or even worse

 

[fredwiggy]

Just now, 86Tiger said:

That is the truth.

 

My favorite is "I finit speak"

I think this is why a lot of expats aren't happy here. There are millions of bipolar people in Thailand, and few get treatment because they've never been taught about this common disease. In America, most everyone understands what it's about, and a lot get treatment. Some can help themselves with regular exercise, a good diet ,sex, good sleep,  and hobbies, natural supplements like St. Johns Wort, fish oil, and meditation to help naturally, but medicine is needed for more extreme cases. In my case, it's, "I don't want to talk,no talk", because they see it as control,even if you're trying to help. They don\t understand it, and just want to be left alone.

[86Tiger]

2 minutes ago, kingofthemountain said:

The life in the village is boring as hell

except if you are more than 80 years old and a contemplative

of course it's the girl choice, because it's her family, her birthplace

she has her friends, her occupations and so on

but come on, more of the foreign husband or bf are dying of boredom here

I completely understand.  I lived with family in village for about 6 months between contracts couple years back.  It is definitely a boring existence, but it is up to me to occupy myself not those around me.  I am firm believer western civilized male must have something industrious to occupy himself or he will never be satisfied.  Doesn't have to be much, but has to be something.

[kingofthemountain]

14 minutes ago, ravip said:

Never had a woman?

I probably got more than i needed lol

[stouricks]

6 minutes ago, 86Tiger said:

I completely understand.  I lived with family in village for about 6 months between contracts couple years back.  It is definitely a boring existence, but it is up to me to occupy myself not those around me.  I am firm believer western civilized male must have something industrious to occupy himself or he will never be satisfied.  Doesn't have to be much, but has to be something.

Like posting & reading on Thai Visa!   LOL

[Bruno123]

11 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

That's narcissism at it's worse. Bipolar people tend to have narcissistic tendencies when they are on a high, but some are plain, taught by their parents, narcs who will blame you and everyone around them for their misery. Bipolar can be treated, narcissism is very hard to get under control because they think it's you, and not them.

 

Yes indeed. Sadly quite a few of these around. Not only Thai. 

Though I think mine understands that she has a problem. Her issue is that she doesn't want to deal with it, because she feels that she has other more immediate problems. So nothing changes, as her more immediate problems are directly related to her mental state.

Bottom line is that she's a wrong 'un and you shouldn't waste your life with someone who can never appreciate what you do for them.

As soon as you see the signs, make your excuses and leave. It will not get better. I know, I've done this more than once. Far too many times. Too nice and too patient. They won't appreciate it. They'll just take it for granted.

[ravip]

11 minutes ago, 86Tiger said:

I completely understand.  I lived with family in village for about 6 months between contracts couple years back.  It is definitely a boring existence, but it is up to me to occupy myself not those around me.  I am firm believer western civilized male must have something industrious to occupy himself or he will never be satisfied.  Doesn't have to be much, but has to be something.

TVF is the proof of the pudding - one can say to save face.

Why, why, why? The West come to the East suffer so much? LOL LOL LOL

[kingofthemountain]

20 minutes ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

 

Yep, I am <deleted> now with the kids, not gonna pretend I really don't know what to do. I think the only real short term thing I can do is just ignore her and don't give her any attention, they usually end up coming around then, until the next time at least!

You could also take a few holidays far from the house

alone of course. (I mean without her, you are not forced to stay alone in your room)

At the moment a lot of promotions on the hotels rooms in Pattaya

just sayin

[4MyEgo]

1 hour ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

Let the wisdom and abuse follow..

Apologise in advance, but no abuse here, wisdom, well I will leave that up to you to decide.

 

I take it you were both very happy in the beginning of your relationship, otherwise you wouldn't be together today, and had gone the next step to have kids ?

 

I find it interesting that you say that if it wasn't for the kids you would out of there, to me this means you are letting off some steam as you have had enough, but deep down inside you still love the Mrs and want it to work, and that is the reason you are here looking for answers because you can't figure it out by yourself, how am I doing so far ?

 

I think you need to sit down and have a good long hard look back at when this all started to unfold, then when you see the clearer picture to start to try and bring things back to where they were, if you can.

 

Here are a couple of questions: 

 

When was the last time you hugged your wife ?

 

Held her hand ?

 

Had dinner together as a family ?

 

Joked with her, you know, make her laugh, not laugh at her ?

 

Dropped the kids at school together and then drove to a shopping centre for the day, and had lunch together ?

 

Bought her something she wants ? preferably not gold ????

 

Went on a holiday together with the kids ? (noting that there is a long weekend coming up next week), sure she would appreciate the break, you know, you in the pool with the kids, her not having to cook for a few days etc etc etc

 

When has the family done something together ?

 

I find the above are just basic things we have to do in a relationship and I don't ask my wife what is wrong if I know she is upset, suffice to say, it is her that is upset and if she wants to talk about it, she can tell me, that said, the last thing someone wants when they are upset is for someone to smother them, e.g. wife knows not to bother me when she knows I am upset with something, she might walk by and offer me an ice-cream, that's a winner ????

 

I think you have some serious thinking to do and then go from there, feel free to come back to me on the above, 'up to you' as they say.

 

Best of luck. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[kingofthemountain]

22 minutes ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

That's all very well, but I would worry about my kids if I wasn't around all the time.

How old are the kids?

[holy cow cm]

26 minutes ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

Yes, good post friend. Maybe I am getting some better feedback than I thought I would.

 

Yep, I am <deleted> now with the kids, not gonna pretend I really don't know what to do. I think the only real short term thing I can do is just ignore her and don't give her any attention, they usually end up coming around then, until the next time at least!

Just curious how old the kids are. Do you live in an ok size house or in a condo?

[bodga]

She  sounds  like me except its  not the menopause,  I've always been this  way, Thailand is  not really  the place for my sort.

[86Tiger]

Here are a couple of questions: 

 

When was the last time you hugged your wife ?  Last Night before bed.

 

Held her hand ?  Last night when come home from office.

 

Had dinner together as a family ?   We don't eat at night, on days off afternoon with the kids.

 

Joked with her, you know, make her laugh, not laugh at her ?  This morning on video call from office.

 

Dropped the kids at school together and then drove to a shopping centre for the day, and had lunch together ?  Our kids are not in school yet.

 

Bought her something she wants ? preferably not gold   Cosmetics this week.

 

Went on a holiday together with the kids ? (noting that there is a long weekend coming up next week), sure she would appreciate the break, you know, you in the pool with the kids, her not having to cook for a few days etc etc etc   Visited USA in December for Christmas and New Year

 

When has the family done something together ?   She and kids haven't been out of house since early March when COVID mania started.

[Bruno123]

31 minutes ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

Yes, good post friend. Maybe I am getting some better feedback than I thought I would.

 

Yep, I am <deleted> now with the kids, not gonna pretend I really don't know what to do. I think the only real short term thing I can do is just ignore her and don't give her any attention, they usually end up coming around then, until the next time at least!

 

You need to start making plans. Discreetly. But I cannot imagine that she will comply with your request to take your daughter.

Perhaps a holiday together in the U.K, but then she leaves...

Yes, you do deserve to be happy. Otherwise, what are you doing here? There are a million things to appreciate whilst you are here. Why spend your life with someone who chooses to not appreciate anything? 

There are better people out there who can appreciate what you have to give.

 

 

[bodga]

13 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

Here are a couple of questions: 

 

When was the last time you hugged your wife ? Today tightly round the  neck  both hands

 

Held her hand ? after Id severed it accidentally

 

Had dinner together as a family ? Eat Thai food jesus I cant do that cant even stand the smell  of it

 

Joked with her, you know, make her laugh, not laugh at her ? I dont do  jokes

 

Dropped the kids at school together and then drove to a shopping centre for the day, and had lunch together ? Thankfully havent got any of the little  sods

 

Bought her something she wants ? preferably not gold ???? She doesnt want anything, never  has

 

Went on a holiday together with the kids ? (noting that there is a long weekend coming up next week), sure she would appreciate the break, you know, you in the pool with the kids, her not having to cook for a few days etc etc etc Whats a holiday

 

When has the family done something together ? Shes an orphan

Should I be  getting divorced?

[ravip]

I take it you were both very happy in the beginning of your relationship...

 

Aren't we all? That's an absolute no brainer!

At every bar stool we see how Rambo becomes the perfect Gentleman. And then, afterwards, my heart bleeds to see how Rambo wriggles and wreathes to get away from his victim...

LOL LOL LOL So it is. Life will go on just like this!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[GinBoy2]

1 hour ago, 86Tiger said:

I completely understand.  I lived with family in village for about 6 months between contracts couple years back.  It is definitely a boring existence, but it is up to me to occupy myself not those around me.  I am firm believer western civilized male must have something industrious to occupy himself or he will never be satisfied.  Doesn't have to be much, but has to be something.

I would totally agree with that. 

 

I retired young and me my wife and son moved from Singapore to Thailand.

 

First few years were great, basically doing nothing, then abject boredom set in. There is only so much TV you can watch, books to read, going to the gym, I realized I needed something to do.

 

When we moved to the US I got myself a job with an airline at the local airport. Pretty mindless compared to my previous career, but it gives me a reason to get up in morning, and when my wife gets home from work it actually gives us both something meaningful to talk about.

 

That has in itself helped strengthen our relationship, especially now the kids are gone and we're empty nesters 

Edited July 18, 2020 by GinBoy2

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, fredwiggy said:

House in most countries is community property, to be shared, unless you bought it before the marriage, which I did, and it was mine after. Pension goes half or the man gets the pension and the wife gets equal value of property and other assets. The kids are joint custody always, with them living primarily with one or the other.Child support to whoever has them, and visits aren't supervised unless abuse has been proven in court

Not in the UK, 2 kids, mom gets house outright.

100% custody for the woman every time.

[mr mr]

3 hours ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

Worse thing I ever did was have kids here, just tied myself up in knots now. 

 

I'm seriously unhappy, and yes know this isn't the place but it's better than nothing..

i'll be your friend. 

[Mavideol]

3 hours ago, Brunolem said:

There's an old muslim saying:

 

Beat your wife three times a day...if you don't know why, she does!

 

that's a French saying... my brother in law was a boulanger (God have his soul) and had a muslim helper, everyday he beat his wife, we asked him why and he answer the exactly way you posed  555

Edited July 18, 2020 by Mavideol

[fredwiggy]

9 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Not in the UK, 2 kids, mom gets house outright.

100% custody for the woman every time.

No one gets 100% custody anywhere, unless there is abuse. There is managerial and possessory custody. The one they think has the best interests for the children gets primary, the other gets visitation. From a UK source..............The right to continue living in your marital home is granted to both married partners and neither spouse can force the other to leave. The circumstances surrounding the property are also irrelevant, i.e. whether both of you, or only one of you, rents or owns the property..................Generally in divorce settlements in England and Wales all assets of the marriage are pooled and treated as joint assets. Money or property that you've inherited are not automatically excluded from the assets to be divided........... It is up to the courts to decide who gets what, just as in America. Sometimes 50/50 and sometimes one might get a little more. Sometimes this happens in both places................The value of the property is transferred into one person's name, who stays in the property. The other gets to keep alternative assets of similar value. Part of the value of the property is transferred into one person's name, who stays in the property...................

Who Gets Custody of a Child in Divorce in the UK?

When it comes to who gets custody of a child during a divorce, the courts are, where possible, promoting the benefits of joint custody. However, every custody case is different, and there are a host of considerations that can influence the court’s decision.

Edited July 18, 2020 by fredwiggy

[Yorkshire Tea]

Maybe there's something in your water?

 

 

[EricTh]

@Keyser Soze666

 

Do you mind telling us why you married her in the first place if she is bad-tempered? Is it because she is beautiful?

 

 

[2 is 1]

Have friend who's "wife" be crazy all the time! I think most our ladys have time to time crazy moments.

Just ask from po, do you know  what happen in her family? Maybe something really bad has happen there what you don't know! What make her crazy! Even you have kids and family together sometimes real understanding is some place else. Thai can hide many family issue if want!

Edited July 18, 2020 by 2 is 1

[fredwiggy]

Just now, EricTh said:

@Keyser Soze666

 

Do you mind telling us why you married her in the first place if she is bad-tempered? Is it because she is beautiful?

 

 

I can answer yes to that, and she is nice part of the time, is a great cook, and shares interests and likes to do things together, until she's down and then nothings good.

[scubascuba3]

HRT may help and her too in the future.

 

The thing is if you buy women they can only fake it for so long.

 

Life's too short so get out of the situation

[Yorkshire Tea]

Shouldn't this be in the health forum, unless it's a troll, then farang pub forum is correct...

[BritManToo]

12 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

The thing is if you buy women they can only fake it for so long.

An hour's generally long enough for me.

Edited July 18, 2020 by BritManToo

[Bruno123]

42 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

HRT may help and her too in the future.

 

The thing is if you buy women they can only fake it for so long.

 

Life's too short so get out of the situation

 

Mine isn't bought. Nor is she a local girl. 

 

But what might be closer to the mark is that many girls fake it until they make it. Saying that, I wasn't interested from the beginning. But she was persistent.