how do you tell a thai girlfriend i don't want her 18 year son living with us

[rumak]

26 minutes ago, samisaurus said:

Gentleman... always remember we can ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS find someone better, younger and hotter. 

I am pretty sure you have not met many of the members on this esteemed forum ...☺️????‍????????

[Tagged]

35 minutes ago, samisaurus said:

THANK YOU!! Few people in this thread speaking with common sense in my opinion. None of this compromise/put him up in an apartment/be a father to him nonsense. He's not yours. Never will be. Gentleman... always remember we can ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS find someone better, younger and hotter. Especially one without any strings attached (ie: Kids). We age like wine they age like milk. Assuming she's 35+ something and with a kid.... she cannot possibly offer what a younger woman can. Her value is almost none compared to a woman who's 30 and without a child. So to the OP, why are U putting yourself through that. Get redpilled and walk away for your own good. Also none of this "love" and relationship nonsense. How many men have ended relationships here only to find love elsewhere. It's an emotion that comes and goes as well as can be re-created with someone else. 

I completely understand some men have to run to asia to get a woman who can put up with men who think like you! Not in one million chance any woman can love a man who share your mindset and how you express yourself. I feel sorry for every woman who have to live with you, or any alike!

 

God sake what woman kick her son out ofthe house because of a man?

Edited July 31, 2020 by Tagged

[Tagged]

6 minutes ago, rumak said:

I am pretty sure you have not met many of the members on this esteemed forum ...☺️????‍????????

Brag Pig and Shaun Connnely all of them

Edited July 31, 2020 by Tagged

[ICELANDMAN]

15 hours ago, Nemises said:

OP, lots of other beautiful, single girls in Thailand with "normal" jobs are out there waiting for you. 

 

Suggest sample many of them and have fun. Life is too short to be stuck with just one - especially when living the dream in amazing Thailand ????

Many normal childless girls take care of their mother waiting for the farang on duty

 

[Hanuman2547]

Kind of late now.  When you first hooked up with her the son was just 15.  You jumped into the game knowing this so it's kind of hard to flip the script.  Is he going to go away for university/trade school/etc.?   

[geriatrickid]

So many selfish comments. I have a good idea of the characteristics of those  saying he should be tossed out;

- Unhappy and selfish

-  Not very successful in their previous relationships, and with few friends

- Low education, not particularly intelligent  and of limited financial means

 

Families who toss their kids early, sabotage their chance for a good education and improved economic status. Poor often  make this mistake.  If the kid is law abiding and decent, why shouldn't he stay? Under the current conditions it is cruel to toss a kid out.  If the OP was unable to establish a relationship with the boy over the past 15 years, that says something about the OP. The people who have decent families  will tell you, that yes it  takes some work, but it pays off.

 

Does the OP love his g/f or is she just a semen bin? if that's what she is, then he might as well go hire a new hooker. This isn't a relationship. We call these types of people white trash.

 

Yes, i am judgmental and harsh.  My parents took care of their kids and their own parents.

From this I learnt about responsibility and  that I have an obligation to  take care of others who form part of my family unit and to help those less fortunate.  Today I am well educated and wealthy because of this. All of my successful friends and work colleagues had similar upbringings. Many did not come from wealthy homes, but their parents or step parents helped them. 

 

The OP has an opportunity with this  boy, but obviously it requires someone who has jaidee. I don't like people like this. Successful people don't like people like this. It is why the western poor stay poor.

 

[Tony125]

6 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

They ain't married. He has no responsibility for her son.

Makes no difference if legally married as he has been in defacto marriage been living  with her and KId over 3 years. Said he plans on being with her long term (maybe get legally married)  Kid is a minor (in Thailand) till 20 plus now during Covid is not the time to throw out of the house when few jobs are available. Should help kid get into trade school or higher learning if can afford and be a good step dad not the sterio type asses we  hear about so often.

[OneMoreFarang]

I just thought let's have a look about the OP's reaction to all the wonderful tips.

Now we are at page number 11. His last comment was on page 2. Great job!

[OneMoreFarang]

7 hours ago, Tony125 said:

Makes no difference if legally married as he has been in defacto marriage been living  with her and KId over 3 years.

As far as I know in Thailand you are married or not. If you are married (maybe even only with a village ceremony) then a divorce can get expensive.

And if you are not married, be maybe living together for decades, you can just walk away.

One might argue if that is fair but as far as I know that is Thai law.

[pookondee]

8 hours ago, geriatrickid said:

So many selfish comments. I have a good idea of the characteristics of those  saying he should be tossed out;

- Unhappy and selfish

-  Not very successful in their previous relationships, and with few friends

- Low education, not particularly intelligent  and of limited financial means

 

Families who toss their kids early, sabotage their chance for a good education and improved economic status. Poor often  make this mistake.  If the kid is law abiding and decent, why shouldn't he stay? Under the current conditions it is cruel to toss a kid out.  If the OP was unable to establish a relationship with the boy over the past 15 years, that says something about the OP. The people who have decent families  will tell you, that yes it  takes some work, but it pays off.

 

Does the OP love his g/f or is she just a semen bin? if that's what she is, then he might as well go hire a new hooker. This isn't a relationship. We call these types of people white trash.

 

Yes, i am judgmental and harsh.  My parents took care of their kids and their own parents.

From this I learnt about responsibility and  that I have an obligation to  take care of others who form part of my family unit and to help those less fortunate.  Today I am well educated and wealthy because of this. All of my successful friends and work colleagues had similar upbringings. Many did not come from wealthy homes, but their parents or step parents helped them. 

 

The OP has an opportunity with this  boy, but obviously it requires someone who has jaidee. I don't like people like this. Successful people don't like people like this. It is why the western poor stay poor.

 

A lot of what you say, (regarding the family values) is only relevant in western culture.

 

If you wanted to look at it that way, then consider:

As a 14y.o my mother married again. She wouldn't have even dared ask her 2nd husband for any money for my upbringing.

 

Instead, she worked to pay my way.

He worked to pay his own kids way. 

I got part time jobs when i was 15 and then i helped pay my own way.

 

The point, it never cost her 2nd husband a dime having me around,

save maybe a bit of food and maybe him helping towards a few utilities bills.

 

In Thailand however,  you can be married and end up liable for gambling debts you knew nothing of..

Thai wives have even borrowed money against their houses, forging documents, knowing the farang will eventually be forced to pay or loose the house he stupidly forked out for.

The deck is always stacked. 

 

In this OPs case i have no idea what the Thai boy is like.

But Oft-times they will have no respect for the "farang" even after being given/supported everything year after year.

 

Ive overheard it at farang/Thai places, the kids often mocking the farang, and asking the mother in Thai stuff like

"why does it (mun..meaning 'IT'..the farang)

do this and that? 

 

Well..

The answer SHOULD be " Because he can, cos he pays for everything around here"

 

but No, no no you will never hear that come out of Thai woman lips!

 

More likely some BS like

" well son, what do you expect?

 these people farmed buffalos, its just what they do"

555

 

[BritManToo]

6 minutes ago, pookondee said:

In Thailand however,  you can be married and end up liable for gambling debts you knew nothing of..

Thai wives have even borrowed money against their houses, forging documents, knowing the farang will eventually be forced to pay or loose the house he stupidly forked out for.

The deck is always stacked. 

It ain't stacked if you don't put up the cash in the first place.

 

As for the kid, if they are pleasant & obedient, it's not really a problem for me.

I've had one from the age of 12 and she's lovely, age 23 now just finishing university.

OP hasn't said much about the kid's behaviour and attitude.

[kingofthemountain]

10 hours ago, geriatrickid said:

if that's what she is, then he might as well go hire a new hooker. This isn't a relationship. We call these types of people white trash.

hi geriatrick, how are you?

10 hours ago, geriatrickid said:

If the OP was unable to establish a relationship with the boy over the past 15 years, that says something about the OP.

You should read again the OP post, he is with the mother and the son only since 3 years

 

10 hours ago, geriatrickid said:

Yes, i am judgmental and harsh

I think so. maybe you should be more balanced in your affirmations

the world is not all black or all white (No pun intented) there are often

a lot of greys area on the both sides.

10 hours ago, geriatrickid said:

The OP has an opportunity with this  boy, but obviously it requires someone who has jaidee. I don't like people like this. Successful people don't like people like this. It is why the western poor stay poor.

What do you think about the ''real'' father of the boy, you know, the thai guy who has used the girl as a ''semen bin'' (I have never considered a girl, even a hooker, like that

so i was pretty shocked by your wording in the matter)  before to disapear as soon as the baby appears?

Don't you think the ''white trash'' has maybe given a second chance to the single mom, when none of the Thai men was interested by the lot?

 

Think about it for a minute, as i said there is often a lot of sides to a story..

 

Edited July 31, 2020 by kingofthemountain

[CorpusChristie]

10 hours ago, geriatrickid said:

So many selfish comments. I have a good idea of the characteristics of those  saying he should be tossed out;

- Unhappy and selfish

-  Not very successful in their previous relationships, and with few friends

- Low education, not particularly intelligent  and of limited financial means

 

Families who toss their kids early, sabotage their chance for a good education and improved economic status. Poor often  make this mistake.  If the kid is law abiding and decent, why shouldn't he stay? Under the current conditions it is cruel to toss a kid out.  If the OP was unable to establish a relationship with the boy over the past 15 years, that says something about the OP. The people who have decent families  will tell you, that yes it  takes some work, but it pays off.

 

Does the OP love his g/f or is she just a semen bin? if that's what she is, then he might as well go hire a new hooker. This isn't a relationship. We call these types of people white trash.

 

Yes, i am judgmental and harsh.  My parents took care of their kids and their own parents.

From this I learnt about responsibility and  that I have an obligation to  take care of others who form part of my family unit and to help those less fortunate.  Today I am well educated and wealthy because of this. All of my successful friends and work colleagues had similar upbringings. Many did not come from wealthy homes, but their parents or step parents helped them. 

 

The OP has an opportunity with this  boy, but obviously it requires someone who has jaidee. I don't like people like this. Successful people don't like people like this. It is why the western poor stay poor.

 

He is 18 now , no longer a kid , hes an adult 

[scorecard]

On 7/29/2020 at 6:54 PM, robblok said:

Indeed. 

 

You either accept your GF with her son or you don't. Forcing her to choose is not going to work. 

Further; did the OP know she had a teenage son when she moved in? If not why not?

 

If the OP agreed to accept her son living in the house what's happened to make the OP now want him gone?

 

Has the OP done anything to be a credible father figure, given the boy help in any way? 

[thaibeachlovers]

23 hours ago, Tagged said:

I completely understand some men have to run to asia to get a woman who can put up with men who think like you! Not in one million chance any woman can love a man who share your mindset and how you express yourself. I feel sorry for every woman who have to live with you, or any alike!

 

God sake what woman kick her son out ofthe house because of a man?

5555555555555555555

I had left home and was working at 18.

Seems to me that western people have become too woosified, and will eventually be taken over by a civilization that doesn't think 18 year olds should have a right to live with mummy.

 

This is a straight choice between a guy that doesn't want another man living in the same house, and his girlfriend that does. She can choose her son and lose the ATM, or send her adult son to make his own way in life. I doubt she can have both.

It's only in the west that most men will put up with her children indefinitely.

[thaibeachlovers]

19 hours ago, geriatrickid said:

If the OP was unable to establish a relationship with the boy over the past 15 years, that says something about the OP.

LOL. It's been 3 years, not 15.

I had the same situation and left after 5 years because she wasn't going to do anything about her ratbag son. She didn't like that. I must have been really pathetic to stay for more than one year, when the problem became apparent- I wouldn't even move in with a woman with kids now.

[BritManToo]

11 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

LOL. It's been 3 years, not 15.

I had the same situation and left after 5 years because she wasn't going to do anything about her ratbag son. She didn't like that. I must have been really pathetic to stay for more than one year, when the problem became apparent- I wouldn't even move in with a woman with kids now.

I remember I guy I knew telling his gfs 12 year old what to do.

12 year old boy shouted, "You're just another white guy paying to bang my mom, don't tell me what to do" 

It was quite funny, kid was right of course.

[thaibeachlovers]

56 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I remember I guy I knew telling his gfs 12 year old what to do.

12 year old boy shouted, "You're just another white guy paying to bang my mom, don't tell me what to do" 

It was quite funny, kid was right of course.

If she'd had any sense she'd have done the entirely acceptable thing in LOS and sent him to live with her parents.

Can't imagine any guy putting up with that kid for long. I'm guessing, but the guy in your story was packed and gone by that night?

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

If she'd had any sense she'd have done the entirely acceptable thing in LOS and sent him to live with her parents.

Can't imagine any guy putting up with that kid for long. I'm guessing, but the guy in your story was packed and gone by that night?

Nope, he hung on until he ran out of money (she liked to gamble).

[BobBKK]

Change girls anyone with an 18 son is too old for you.

[thaibeachlovers]

7 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Nope, he hung on until he ran out of money (she liked to gamble).

I don't know him, but I sympathise. He must have really loved her, or she was really good at silent sex.

[4MyEgo]

On 7/29/2020 at 6:39 PM, yeahbutif said:

i don't want her 18 year son living with us

Q: If she had an 18 year old daughter living with you, would you be thinking the same thing, or would you be going to the laundry basket more frequently. It's part of the package, man up, take it on the chin, if he is a disturbance to your relationship, then sit down with her and tell her your beef, otherwise be the father to him that she wants you to be.

[CorpusChristie]

3 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

Q: If she had an 18 year old daughter living with you, would you be thinking the same thing, or would you be going to the laundry basket more frequently

I hope that you dont mean  going to the laundry basket to view her soiled clothes  

[thaibeachlovers]

4 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

Q: If she had an 18 year old daughter living with you, would you be thinking the same thing, or would you be going to the laundry basket more frequently. It's part of the package, man up, take it on the chin, if he is a disturbance to your relationship, then sit down with her and tell her your beef, otherwise be the father to him that she wants you to be.

The real answer is for farangs to not get involved with Thai women that have children living with them. Unfortunately that would cut down on the available women as the main driver, IMO, is women abandoned by Thai men after getting them pregnant.

Alternatively one should insist on the child living elsewhere if the woman wants a long term live together relationship.

Most give their children to the parents to bring up. IMO it's unusual for one to have the children with them. My in laws children were brought up by their grandmother.

[thaibeachlovers]

10 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

Q: If she had an 18 year old daughter living with you, would you be thinking the same thing, or would you be going to the laundry basket more frequently. It's part of the package, man up, take it on the chin, if he is a disturbance to your relationship, then sit down with her and tell her your beef, otherwise be the father to him that she wants you to be.

In my first and only western live in relationship she had her young daughter living with us ( I know, I was stupid to get involved with her ), and it was a nightmare that never ended. The phone rang constantly from the boys wanting to bonk her, her hair was always too short or too long, and she was always staying out without letting us know ( her mother had to put her on Depo to stop her getting pregnant ). Frankly it was a relief when I left them.

[BritManToo]

12 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

The real answer is for farangs to not get involved with Thai women that have children living with them. Unfortunately that would cut down on the available women as the main driver, IMO, is women abandoned by Thai men after getting them pregnant.

Alternatively one should insist on the child living elsewhere if the woman wants a long term live together relationship.

Most give their children to the parents to bring up. IMO it's unusual for one to have the children with them. My in laws children were brought up by their grandmother.

I actually invited my Thai woman's daughter to come and live with us.

Woman left after many problems, daughter stayed never a problem.

Who would have guessed?

Edited August 1, 2020 by BritManToo

[Don Mega]

39 minutes ago, BobBKK said:

Change girls anyone with an 18 son is too old for you.

Only time it is acceptable if it was a teenage pregnancy, if not then she's too old.

[Don Mega]

7 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I actually invited my Thai woman's daughter to come and live with us.

Woman left after many problems, daughter stayed never a problem.

Who would have guessed?

Was there some mother/daughter action during the crossover phase ?

[thaibeachlovers]

16 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I actually invited my Thai woman's daughter to come and live with us.

Woman left after many problems, daughter stayed never a problem.

Who would have guessed?

I wouldn't have had a problem with my ex's daughter if she had been older and working. It's the adolescent years that were the killer. She was a nice person and we got on quite well, considering.

[cyril sneer]

I don't mind my gf's son, we drink laos khao and smoke drugs together, he introduces me to nicer girls too