how do you tell a thai girlfriend i don't want her 18 year son living with us

[ChakaKhan]

On 7/29/2020 at 4:44 AM, JeffersLos said:

I don't want your 18 year old son living with us. 

will google translate it???

[4MyEgo]

1 hour ago, CorpusChristie said:

I hope that you dont mean  going to the laundry basket to view her soiled clothes  

That's disgusting, euw, yuk, how could you think of such a thing..... 

[ChakaKhan]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I remember I guy I knew telling his gfs 12 year old what to do.

12 year old boy shouted, "You're just another white guy paying to bang my mom, don't tell me what to do" 

It was quite funny, kid was right of course.

came here for your response.....wonder what the kid thinks of his moms response to that....what # was he?

[Susco]

18 minutes ago, cyril sneer said:

I don't mind my gf's son, we drink laos khao and smoke drugs together, he introduces me to nicer girls too

You troll together on the forum as well?

[itsari]

Not an easy subject to advise . I have had problems having my Thai partners son live with us . I ended up saying he has to go from our home . I have known the boy since he was 12 . He is now 19 . The biggest problem was to get him out of bed . When he met girlfriends he considered it his right to have the girl live with us and then lay in bed even longer . He is not a bad boy but he does not meet my standards for doing something for everyone around him . Selfish and lazy . But the good news is that since he has left he is working every day now . You have to be cruel to be kind sometimes. His mother is now happy that he is working each day . He is my son was her words to me .OK he is your son , that does not mean you have to put up with what ever he wants to do . I said if you do not  stand up to him now you will have him around your neck the rest of your life .

Good luck 

[BobinBKK]

On 7/29/2020 at 4:49 PM, tribalfusion001 said:

Get a new girlfriend without kids seems to be the best advice given and I concur.

I agree! Why keep eating the same egg salad sandwich day after day?

[BobinBKK]

On 7/29/2020 at 5:52 PM, pookondee said:

Without knowing your story, I can't know how you are relating irony to it.

 

In my case however, im serious.

 

I chose to leave Thailand because of the Covid.

But as it was, things weren't going great before then.

I could see myself getting groomed as the lone provider, for a lady and her young son, which means it will most likely be a long and endless money pit.

 

Thais dont really care about you going through all your life savings, as long as its spent on them.

Of course, they know very well that when your money runs out, you will be forced to go home and you will then be "out of their hair"

 

If you are older, financially set up, 

and have future cash streams incoming, then it might not be a big issue.

 

Me, i am 45, and retirement by Australian rules is a LONG way off.

 

Thinking about a good 20+ years of expenses..and then how much more $ to see me out??

 

Its a no-brainer that sinking funds into houses i can't own,

Thai womens offspring, which i shouldn't really be responsible for....

 

And in a country where you are forced to jump through hoops EVERY year, EVEN when your married!!!.....

well that's suddenly starting to sound real dumb since ive actually got out of the place.

 

So yes, Covid might have saved me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I always find it odd how they think we should be held responsible for their children and not biological father who gets to walk away Scott free. What's up with that?

[BobinBKK]

On 7/29/2020 at 7:32 PM, anterian said:

If he is 18 years old buy him a motorbike a litre of whisky and let Darwin solve the problem.

Rent the bike, don't waste money buying it ????

[nomad2019]

Man up and grow a set.????????????????????????

[BobinBKK]

On 7/30/2020 at 2:29 PM, Tchooptip said:

Maybe I'm the only one who thinks like this, but I find it hard to ask a mother to throw her 18 year old son out on the street.
  OP accepted a relationship with a woman who already had a 15 year old son, I wonder what people would think of it in a western country, what opinion they would have of the man, ah sorry I forgot we are in Thailand, the woman is a piece of flesh.

And I add if he was a few years older I would have closed my mouth
 

Why does anyone care about how the foreign boyfriend looks? After all it was the Thai father that abandoned his son years ago. Stop thinking we as foreigners are responsible for the mess these people create for themselves. Thailand doesn't have, doesn't want or doesn't enforce child support and that's their problem not ours ????

[BobinBKK]

On 7/31/2020 at 6:29 AM, samisaurus said:

THANK YOU!! Few people in this thread speaking with common sense in my opinion. None of this compromise/put him up in an apartment/be a father to him nonsense. He's not yours. Never will be. Gentleman... always remember we can ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS find someone better, younger and hotter. Especially one without any strings attached (ie: Kids). We age like wine they age like milk. Assuming she's 35+ something and with a kid.... she cannot possibly offer what a younger woman can. Her value is almost none compared to a woman who's 30 and without a child. So to the OP, why are U putting yourself through that. Get redpilled and walk away for your own good. Also none of this "love" and relationship nonsense. How many men have ended relationships here only to find love elsewhere. It's an emotion that comes and goes as well as can be re-created with someone else. 

This is very true. I had sex with five different women last week and four of them multiple times. I'm starting to think I have a problem ????

[rumak]

On 7/31/2020 at 8:13 PM, BritManToo said:

It ain't stacked if you don't put up the cash in the first place.

 

As for the kid, if they are pleasant & obedient, it's not really a problem for me.

I've had one from the age of 12 and she's lovely, age 23 now just finishing university.

OP hasn't said much about the kid's behaviour and attitude.

i was wondering the same thing.   what exactly is the problem or problems with the kid ?

I haven't checked the following pages yet ....... seems like the OP has disappeared ?

 

18 year old boys can be a big pain if not respectful .    is that the case ?

 

[Nemises]

2 hours ago, BobinBKK said:

This is very true. I had sex with five different women last week and four of them multiple times. I'm starting to think I have a problem ????

 

 

3 hours ago, BobinBKK said:

I agree! Why keep eating the same egg salad sandwich day after day?

 

I can't imagine living in Thailand stuck with the same woman (egg salad sandwich) when there is a such a smorgasbord of beauty available. What a boring existence that must be. 

[pookondee]

3 hours ago, BobinBKK said:

I always find it odd how they think we should be held responsible for their children and not biological father who gets to walk away Scott free. What's up with that?

I suspect, like me, many chose a Thai with no job so they would be around more and would be a travel companion.

In that case you just fall into it as there aint no-one else to pay the bills.

 

Strangely enough, Thai single mothers without farang financiers always manage to get by.

 

So if there is a next time for me, i will certainly choose more wisely or better just save forking out long-term and go for weekly parachute night.

 

[473geo]

2 minutes ago, pookondee said:

I suspect, like me, many chose a Thai with no job so they would be around more and would be a travel companion.

In that case you just fall into it as there aint no-one else to pay the bills.

 

Strangely enough, Thai single mothers without farang financiers always manage to get by.

 

So if there is a next time for me, i will certainly choose more wisely or better just save forking out long-term and go for weekly parachute night.

 

Could you explain a bit more about how a guy 'falls into' a relationship with a woman who has a child without understanding if the relationship continues he will will provide for the 'family' not his girlfriend as an individual

[geriatrickid]

On 7/31/2020 at 10:50 AM, CorpusChristie said:

He is 18 now , no longer a kid , hes an adult 

And your point is what? 

One of the reasons the rich get richer is that they invest in their children. They spend what they can on education and in ensuring a that the child is living in a decent place.  In today's world, tossing an 18 year old out isn't appropriate.

 

[jastheace]

20 minutes ago, geriatrickid said:

And your point is what? 

One of the reasons the rich get richer is that they invest in their children. They spend what they can on education and in ensuring a that the child is living in a decent place.  In today's world, tossing an 18 year old out isn't appropriate.

 

this is thailand and as an 18yo probably hasn't finished sucking the maternal teet so to speak. girls seem to be 10 yrs ahead of the boys for some reason. maybe they get molly coddled by the grand parents much more? then expect dinner served on a plate each day. the male gets a lot more attention than the female and imo this carries on until....... yep, chuck him out

[Matzzon]

What is the problem. You get together with a Thai woman that already has an 15 year old son. When you do that you should be aware of that Thailand is all about family and helping each other. He turns 18 and probably just finish school, he might not have a work. He have not met anybody he want to live together with. 

Here it´s perfectly normal that they live in home for a longer time. Nothing strange at all. Just accept it or move on yourself. If the guy was around 25 and up it would start to be worrisome. 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 8/2/2020 at 4:08 PM, BobinBKK said:

I always find it odd how they think we should be held responsible for their children and not biological father who gets to walk away Scott free. What's up with that?

Happened to me with a western woman.

 

I was very foolish and too desperate back then.

[thaibeachlovers]

6 hours ago, geriatrickid said:

And your point is what? 

One of the reasons the rich get richer is that they invest in their children. They spend what they can on education and in ensuring a that the child is living in a decent place.  In today's world, tossing an 18 year old out isn't appropriate.

 

It's not his child. When he grows up he will not do anything for the farang ATM.

 

At 18 I was out on my own, working.

If that's not acceptable today, the world we live in is sick, IMO

Edited August 3, 2020 by thaibeachlovers

[Tagged]

3 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Happened to me with a western woman.

 

I was very foolish and too desperate back then.

If you love a woman, you take responsibillity for her and her kids. If not willing to do so, stay away from women who have kids with another father. Period

[thaibeachlovers]

21 hours ago, 473geo said:

Could you explain a bit more about how a guy 'falls into' a relationship with a woman who has a child without understanding if the relationship continues he will will provide for the 'family' not his girlfriend as an individual

Happens. Forums like this are needed to warn potential suckers ATMs of the dangers of getting involved with women with kids.

[thaibeachlovers]

2 minutes ago, Tagged said:

If you love a woman, you take responsibillity for her and her kids. If not willing to do so, stay away from women who have kids with another father. Period

You don't mention the woman's responsibility to love and cherish the guy that's bankrolling her and her child/ren.

Had my partner actually loved me back I'd have kept supporting her child. Her loss.

[CorpusChristie]

21 minutes ago, Tagged said:

If you love a woman, you take responsibillity for her and her kids. If not willing to do so, stay away from women who have kids with another father. Period

Until what age should you take care of those kids ?

[Tagged]

16 minutes ago, CorpusChristie said:

Until what age should you take care of those kids ?

That depends, and seems the OP failed to connect with her son, and it became a proplem for him.

 

18 years is to young to be kicked out, they are not ready as we where when young, and easy to find work. I moved to another city at 17, no problem, work everywhere, and easy to find a flat and pay for it.

[thaibeachlovers]

20 hours ago, Tagged said:

That depends, and seems the OP failed to connect with her son, and it became a proplem for him.

 

18 years is to young to be kicked out, they are not ready as we where when young, and easy to find work. I moved to another city at 17, no problem, work everywhere, and easy to find a flat and pay for it.

LOL. My nephews were living alone and in uni by 18 ( paid by parents ).

Problem with the ratbag one was that he preferred staying with us, eating his aunt's food, smoking in the house, using my washing machine, occupying the lounge while he used my tv, leaving his dirty dishes for her to wash, leaving garbage everywhere. Had he been nice I'd probably have accepted it but he was a horror.

 

Tell me why I should have accepted him?

[Tagged]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

LOL. My nephews were living alone and in uni by 18 ( paid by parents ).

Problem with the ratbag one was that he preferred staying with us, eating his aunt's food, smoking in the house, using my washing machine, occupying the lounge while he used my tv, leaving his dirty dishes for her to wash, leaving garbage everywhere. Had he been nice I'd probably have accepted it but he was a horror.

 

Tell me why I should have accepted him?

I guess he choosed not to accept you or respect you!

 

Thats what youhavetofigure out before you make aggrements with his mom. I said it before, you dont just get involved with a woman in thailand, you get the whole package (family) So when meeting a woman, you need to figure out botonky the woman, but the family to.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 8/4/2020 at 4:37 PM, Tagged said:

I guess he choosed not to accept you or respect you!

 

Thats what youhavetofigure out before you make aggrements with his mom. I said it before, you dont just get involved with a woman in thailand, you get the whole package (family) So when meeting a woman, you need to figure out botonky the woman, but the family to.

At no point before we got married did the family figure in our relationship, so I didn't set any rules concerning, other than saying I would not give money to them.

Only after we signed the paper did the subject of moving come up, so I guess it was the long con and she thought that a piece of paper would make me give money to them.

[balo]

This is Thailand, family is everything, her son is more important than you.  But you have the money so she will try to please you , but the son will never leave. 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

6 minutes ago, balo said:

This is Thailand, family is everything, her son is more important than you.  But you have the money so she will try to please you , but the son will never leave. 

 

After my misadventure with a mother with children I decided to never ever get involved with a woman with children again.

Unfortunately I didn't realise the child thing extends to nephews as well in LOS.