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Posted

Hi,

 

My thai girlfriend (we were not married) went to Thailand with our daughter (now 11 month old) and desided not to come back to The Netherlands.

 

Now she wants 20.000b every month as Child support (and 'salery' for herself) from me.
Besides that i don't have such amount to give her every month, i do not want to support her.

 

But i still want to support my child (even if i never see her again) and i was thinking about 5000b every month.


My daughter now stays with her Thai grandparents. They are above middle class and are considered rich to thai standards.
On the other hand,  my girlfriend does not own a penny (and now relies on the money her mom and dad gives her).

 

What if she still insist on the 20.000b every month and does not agree with the 5000b i want to give her to help take care financially for our child?
Can she go to court in Thailand (we were not married, i only signed the birth certificate at the Thai embassy here in Holland)?
Can she go to court in The Netherlands?
How would such courts rule (money wise)?

 

My daughter has dutch and thai nationality.
In Holland we both have custody (by court because we were not married).
My girlfriend (sorry for me now ex GF, even that she wants to stay BF/GF) only has the thai nationality and was staying here in Holland for 2 years on a MMV (Regular provisional residence permit)


Cheers,
Ray

Posted

Without delving into the legalities of the international law, which I clearly don't know, Perhaps it would be advantageous to reach a middle ground...after all it is 'your' child and I assume you want the best for her. 

 

She wants 20K and you are willing to give 5K...what about a legal agreement that you pay 10K baht monthly now unti the child is school age and then in addition you will pick up school fees and increase you monthly to 12.5 K as an older child will require a bit more. The real thing here is if you want to be a part of  your daughter's life, you are going to need to make some concessions..if only to make everything pleasant so they don't poison the well in her mind about you. As the child gets older you can send direct payments to her for spending cash, gifts, etc...which will go a long way in ensuring a father/daughter relationship. Think about what you want out of  this...the kid will be fine no matter what level is sent...think about sending more so that you might have a shot at being a dad.

 

Just some friendly advice. 

  • Like 2
Posted
16 minutes ago, rayholland said:

Thanks for your repy. But why partner support? We were not married.

Because the mother takes care of the child. 

I heard about cased were Thai girls made deals with European lawyers to get them "child support".

Good luck - you need it.

  • Like 2
Posted
25 minutes ago, rayholland said:

Thanks for your repy. But why partner support? We were not married.

She was living in Holland and you were partners I assume.

You created a baby together.

Holland has an option partner support law.

 

I would contact a lawyer to get some good advise on this.

At least it sounds like you want to be responsible and take care of the kid I hope you continue with that commitment.

 

Posted
13 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

She was living in Holland and you were partners I assume.

You created a baby together.

Holland has an option partner support law.

 

I would contact a lawyer to get some good advise on this.

At least it sounds like you want to be responsible and take care of the kid I hope you continue with that commitment.

 

 

"At least it sounds like you want to be responsible and take care of the kid I hope you continue with that commitment."

 

Good man!

  • Like 1
Posted
On ‎12‎/‎6‎/‎2020 at 7:43 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

Because the mother takes care of the child. 

I heard about cased were Thai girls made deals with European lawyers to get them "child support".

Good luck - you need it.

No partner support in the Netherlands, only child support

Posted (edited)
On ‎12‎/‎6‎/‎2020 at 7:53 AM, bkk6060 said:

She was living in Holland and you were partners I assume.

You created a baby together.

Holland has an option partner support law.

 

I would contact a lawyer to get some good advise on this.

At least it sounds like you want to be responsible and take care of the kid I hope you continue with that commitment.

 

She isn't a partner, she is an ex girlfriend who did a runner with his and her child

Edited by FritsSikkink
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
6 minutes ago, theonetrueaussie said:

you owe her nothing as you were unmarried, she can't get anything from a thai court and virtually impossible for her to file in the Netherlands and even if she did you could drag it out for a long time, demand paternity tests etc, that would make it not feasible for any lawyer to continue with her!

I would tell her to take you to thai court and even if they made you pay child support which would be extremely unlikely the amount would be 3-4k thb month....Tell her to go jump!

 

This is a very simple case as the child already has been legitimised bij the father by the court. In other words the court already has established he is the father. From that follows that the father also has a responsibility to maintain the child and pay child support.

 

Child support is for the child and it is on behalf of the child one can be sued. It is very feasible, but she will not get 20,000 THB per month for her and the child.

Posted

How was ex gf allowed to exit the country with your child? 

If heard 5 k is generous for a child.   Don't forget a factory worker only gets 10 k/ mo

Posted
On 12/6/2020 at 12:39 AM, rayholland said:

My daughter now stays with her Thai grandparents. They are above middle class and are considered rich to thai standards.
On the other hand,  my girlfriend does not own a penny (and now relies on the money her mom and dad gives her).

 

What if she still insist on the 20.000b every month and does not agree with the 5000b i want to give her to help take care financially for our child?
Can she go to court in Thailand (we were not married, i only signed the birth certificate at the Thai embassy here in Holland)?
Can she go to court in The Netherlands?
How would such courts rule (money wise)?

 

My daughter has dutch and thai nationality.
In Holland we both have custody (by court because we were not married).
My girlfriend (sorry for me now ex GF, even that she wants to stay BF/GF) only has the thai nationality and was staying here in Holland for 2 years on a MMV (Regular provisional residence permit)

From what you are saying it sounds like your ex GF's family is in no need for help, and if you wish to support your daughter, and not your ex GF, it would be the grand parents you should support, as they are taking care of your daughter.

 

Those court-order child support fees we have read about in the news have been in the range from 3k baht to 5k baht a month.

 

Your ex GF might be able to claim child support via a Dutch court, but she might also not be eligible to bring a child with Dutch nationality out of Holland without your consent, which might be an argument you can use, in case of a legal action; however you need to get advise from a lawyer. Don't you have some free legal advise service in Holland (like we have in my home country Denmark, pretty much equal to Holland in many ways)?

Posted

Just for info and nothing more.

 

I have 2 grandchildren here, the father pays 5k a month for them and any "fees" as they arise regarding school. He also pays extra at school uniform time etc.

So in short, he pays a regular monthy and then pickc up any expenses as they arise. He pays directly to the Grandmother.

 

So 20k she is asking is basically holding your child to ransom and she will be getting 15k a month for nothing which more than any basic job would pay her.

 

5k is more than anough for ONE child not yet in school. IMHO and personal experience.

  • Like 2
Posted
15 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Just for info and nothing more.

 

I have 2 grandchildren here, the father pays 5k a month for them and any "fees" as they arise regarding school. He also pays extra at school uniform time etc.

So in short, he pays a regular monthy and then pickc up any expenses as they arise. He pays directly to the Grandmother.

 

So 20k she is asking is basically holding your child to ransom and she will be getting 15k a month for nothing which more than any basic job would pay her.

 

5k is more than anough for ONE child not yet in school. IMHO and personal experience.

The vibe im getting is that op is feeling resigned to pay the demanded figure based on having his child held as financial ransom

Posted

Hi 

I'm sorry to say that it won't be long before she gets coupled up with someone else who will probably look after them both, maybe, this is quite normal in Thailand.

 

It may be heartbreaking but write off the situation before you get taken to the cleaners with spurious demands from her with her new boyfriend pushing for more if he is Thai.

 

A broken heart soon mends.

 

 

 

 

Posted

I would start with 3,000 being paid DIRECTLY to the grandparents.  Than increase it to 5,000 when he or she starts school . REMEMBER your X is also responsible for half of the child's care. So the 3,000 would be in reality 6,000. Way more than needed. 

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