I have completed 18 years in Thailand. Had ups and downs - I am on an UP at the moment and expect to stay there!

 

My perspective and philosophy of life hasn't changed much in that time or since being in my 30's.

When I was younger, I had ambition and wanted "things" but I got over it. Now I like things but can manage without them.

 

I DO care what people think of me but I don't lose any sleep over it - in any event it is unlikely I will ever know what they think. I DO care about others.

 

I live in the NOW - I have my memories good and bad but they are not emotional baggage and allows me the belief that, either because of, or in spite of, I am what I am and I am happy with that and no-one has to live with my past in ways that they may feel imposed upon.

 

If anything, I think I have more balance in my life that includes the odd indulgence.

I think it is partly to do with a quality called 'emotional intelligence'.

 

This is about being able to tolerate other views and opinions, live and let live, not always having to have the last word, appreciating that everyone is different, and having the emotional maturity to handle the ups and downs of life. 

 

I didn't really get it until I turned about 55, retired, and had the freedom to do my own thing. Maybe it's the same with many blokes. I've always had an open mind, willingness and curiosity to learn new things, and wonder and appreciation of the world. That hasn't changed for me and I hope it never does.

 

It's the same as (hopefully) gaining wisdom with age and learning from our experiences. Some blokes never learn and keep repeating the same old mistakes. Some blokes never seem to mature and seem happy in their bigotry and living in their own narrow world.

 

I think there is something to be said for better sex as we get older. Maybe you can't do it 5 times a night, but you can last 5 times as long. I find myself enjoying the seduction and plenty of foreplay, maybe doing it more as I imagine a woman would enjoy. I honestly think there is a good reason why many woman would prefer an older bloke.

 

1 hour ago, Dazinoz said:

I am a much angrier man since coming here. Not 100% sure why but I am.

Do you drive?

Please!  Wait until you are at least 80 before you start such philosophizing around  getting “old”.

20 hours ago, Natai Beach said:

I tried it once. I don’t recommend it. 

 

Hurt like buggery. 
 

 

speed is important and so is enough gel/lotion ????????????????????

20 hours ago, simon43 said:

thanks to TRT

Same here, but without any Therapy, thanks! 

Personally, I'm still challenged by puberty.
At 76 I doubt I have enough time to grow up.
Oh well.

22 hours ago, jvs said:

You finally grew up.

Not everyone is born 30 years old (like I was). At least my attitudes haven't changed much though, I'm as tolerant of difference as I ever was, but also as intolerant of intolerance. I want to keep both my love and my anger at full blast until I die. 

 

Do not go gentle....

 

(64 and still as full of sh.. as ever) 

38 minutes ago, Surasak said:

Do you drive?

Yes and I think that is a big part of the complicated angry equation.

 

30 minutes ago, PGSan said:

Please!  Wait until you are at least 80 before you start such philosophizing around  getting “old”.

"old" is a relative thing. All my relatives were old and nearly all dead.

 

I'm not  changing but the world is  around me.

As I fast approach 80, I have learned to take things easy. Not take offence at others when they disagree with my views, and not to force my views on others. My past has  had a few disappointments but much has had great benefits. You do still learn something new everyday and you learn to take each day as it comes. I am fortunate in being reasonably fit but youth is long gone, though not forgotten. There is also always the 'if only'. Be positive and look on the bright side, tomorrow could well be a better day. If, as I hope I make it to 90, things could possibly have been better, but I have many things to be thankful for. As the words in Frank's song say, 'I did it my way'.

I'm definitely getting taller.

 

For the first 1o years of living in our house I had no trouble walking into the bathroom. Now I hit my head all the time.

1 minute ago, owl sees all said:

I'm definitely getting taller.

 

For the first 1o years of living in our house I had no trouble walking into the bathroom. Now I hit my head all the time.

Your  house is  sinking!

2 minutes ago, owl sees all said:

I'm definitely getting taller.

 

For the first 1o years of living in our house I had no trouble walking into the bathroom. Now I hit my head all the time.

You need to stop wearing Mrs Owl's high heels around the house.

23 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

I can't help to think as I'm going towards 60 how much I changed over the years .

I remember being a needy type person and that's one of the reasons I went to Thailand so many times a year so I could pay for love & companionship.

 

Fast forward 25 years and I seem to be changing and I don't know if that's good or bad .

 

Here is an example...I'm back in Australia and received a Facebook message from a old girlfriend in Thailand she would be 44yo now .

We went out together for over 12 years whilst visiting Thailand... unfortunately she ripped me off financially a few years ago so I never bothered with her again.

However she contacted me again..and even though I was deeply in love with her at that time I no longer felt anything for her ...strange how I changed ...we got into this FB live video and to see her now at her 44 when she looks 54

I decided just to be open and say to her ..sorry it's been too long make this the last time to talk .

 

I don't know if it's the isolation that I have become used to with covid ( living by myself) or changing with age / time .

But my attitude to people and life have changed .

I no longer care what other people think ...if I want to walk holding hands with a ladyboy I will...before I didn't .

 

I no longer care or concerned about people doing things others consider not right ..

 

It's hard to explain..but I have turned non judgmental? 

Or as I age I just go on the person not who they are ...

I don't care if someone doesn't say hello etc ..if they want to they can and I'm polite back but I no longer go chasing friends like I used to.

 

My views on my eventual retirement to Thailand have changed too.

I was going to Pattaya but now I'm leaning towards Udon Thani and just living by myself in a semi rural area .

 

I don't know if all this has become about because of getting older or living by myself during covid and been isolated for weeks by myself has made me into a less caring person who doesn't care about small stuff anymore or things that don't affect me.

 

I don't care anymore about guys holding hands with each other in Thailand or even anywhere else..great I say ... I used to be one of those guys always putting others down now I think it's great people are different and do what U want if it's not affecting others .

If U like lady boys then go out and enjoy it .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

23 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

    Farlang , being non judgemental , really ?

     Must be a new species ...

     Best avoided ...

 

23 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

 

 

 

 

3 hours ago, Dazinoz said:

I am a much angrier man since coming here. Not 100% sure why but I am.

 

    Erectile disfunction ?. 

   Get a Kindle ..

6 minutes ago, elliss said:

 

    Erectile disfunction ?. 

   Get a Kindle ..

Definately not the problem. Maybe yours but not mine. Ay 65 my gf of 30 say I still have big power. 

4 minutes ago, elliss said:

 

    Erectile disfunction ?. 

   Get a Kindle ..

To lean it on?

I remember reading, or hearing it somewhere that by the time you reach a certain age, nothing but memories remain of your younger self, since every cell in your body is destroyed and replaced every Seven years. 

2 minutes ago, sirineou said:

I remember reading, or hearing it somewhere that by the time you reach a certain age, nothing but memories remain of your younger self, since every cell in your body is destroyed and replaced every Seven years. 

So what your saying is that there is a new me every seven years.  Wo doppelganger heaven.

21 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

To lean it on?

 

   Fyi , there are two sizes available , six and nine inches .

    On special discount @ Amazon ..555

     

On 3/1/2021 at 6:54 AM, jvs said:

You finally grew up.

 

Great to read the OP’s expression of openness, honesty, and realization. ????????????????????
 

Then first reaction post to the OP communicates judgment and passive aggression ——instead of communicating compassion, happiness or congratulations .????????

On 3/1/2021 at 8:09 PM, georgegeorgia said:

You are probably right ..and I say that with sincerely..

I don't know what it is ...I seem more happy with my own company nowadays

I think living in Thailand, teaches us different priorities,but sure things change,as we get older.

Im a few months from 70,very healthy,very ample funds,but know now is the time to make the very most of the next few years.

In the west...we spend decades working,many stresses,and raising a family...now is the time to reap the benefits of all that..

 

35 minutes ago, Wake Up said:

 

Great to read the OP’s expression of openness, honesty, and realization. ????????????????????
 

Then first reaction post to the OP communicates judgment and passive aggression ——instead of communicating compassion, happiness or congratulations .????????

Did you read the OP's reaction to my comment?He has absolutely no problem with it,why do you?

I have similar feelings like the OP and i feel i finally grew up,what is wrong with that?

Not positive ,not negative but realistic i think.

Your turn,

On 3/1/2021 at 7:40 PM, georgegeorgia said:

unfortunately she ripped me off financially a few years ago so I never bothered with her again.

However she contacted me again..and even though I was deeply in love with her at that time I no longer felt anything for her

That sounds perfectly reasonable.  I've been ****ed by people in the past too whom I've totally written off including ex-wives. 

"Do you think your changing as a person as you get older ?"
Such an odd question from someone in there 60s who is just beginning to mature.  Well - Better late than never.
The bottom line is:  The Only Constant In Life Is Change. 
You can frame that and put it on your wall.  Words to live by.

2 hours ago, sirineou said:

I remember reading, or hearing it somewhere that by the time you reach a certain age, nothing but memories remain of your younger self, since every cell in your body is destroyed and replaced every Seven years. 

Brain cells  don't.

33 minutes ago, gunderhill said:

Brain cells  don't.

Which is why , i forgot about that. LOL

                Transcending fear...

 

It is fear that keeps us in situations that we are not comfortable in.  A job we don't like, an unhappy marriage or in a social situation where we may feel like a square peg in a round hole. Fear of the consequences if we make a change.

Fear is an insidious thing.. If asked to describe fear we may focus on external things that may threaten us but fear lurks in dark places.  It shapes our decisions and keeps us in situations we may want to get out of and we may not even be aware that it is fear that keeps us there. 

We learn to distrust our intuition.  The pressure to conform and 'fit in'.. to a job or a marriage that makes us unhappy makes us deny our underlying knowledge that we are not being true to ourselves. 

If we wake up one day and realize that it is fear that keeps us in untenable situations the world changes. If we get in touch with our intuition and start making decisions based on what we really want and are prepared to accept and deal with the consequences we start to become ourselves. This is liberation.  The change in us is not becoming a different person but becoming who we really are. 

Transcend fear and become yourself.

7 hours ago, elliss said:

 

   Fyi , there are two sizes available , six and nine inches .

    On special discount @ Amazon ..555

     

So I have to suffer three inches over the side? Worth complaining to Amazon!