Experience?

[BritManToo]

14 hours ago, 1FinickyOne said:

Does a bus driver want to be romanced by his/her customers? Or do they just want to do their job and go home? 

I don't know many Bus drivers that move in with their passengers and deliver babies for them.

 

PS.

I quite liked gifts from my employers.

Maybe not flowers (cos I'm a bloke), but money, clothing, free meals, drinks, parties, trips were all appreciated. Breakfast at Claridges or the Ramada after work was always welcome, tickets to movie premieres .......... I was never in a rush to go home.

Edited July 3, 2021 by BritManToo

[1FinickyOne]

9 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

my marriage went wrong because she wanted my money and not me.

And what was the age difference? Either way, it seems you did not get a good read on the room as they say... 

 

I am sure you are correct and there is an element of that in every marriage - you sure seem to not have an understanding of what she might have wanted... fruit picking being at least one thing... 

 

My father liked vanilla - he couldn't understand how people could eat chocolate if there was vanilla - [they must be stupid] 

You like to pick fruit - others do not consider that to be a great opportunity in life... sounds like you 2 had quite a different set of values and standards... 

 

But, I am sure you know [i would hope so?] that there is a financial aspect to relationships and marriages, especially May/September, especially Thai/farang... the long con, as you call it, is possibly just encroaching/increasing disappointment... 

 

As in, the guy lures me in w/roses and dinners and then he wants me to pick fruit after we get married? and he spends his $$ on beer while my family is struggling...

 

If you are a fruit picking, big-spending, buy the bargirl roses type of guy, how much money could you have had in the first place... maybe she thought, this guy blows his money then wants me to go pick fruit for a living... when he should be supporting me!

 

what a waste of my time this has been - - I should have been better compensated... 

[BritManToo]

14 hours ago, 1FinickyOne said:

what a waste of my time this has been - - I should have been better compensated... 

Best to set the monthly wage right at the start.

I offered 10k/month, when she asks for a pay rise, I tell her she is free to look for a better employer.

[1FinickyOne]

20 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I don't know many Bus drivers that move in with their passengers and deliver babies for them.

 

PS.

I quite liked gifts from my employers.

Maybe not flowers (cos I'm a bloke), but money, clothing, free meals, drinks, parties, trips were all appreciated. Breakfast at Claridges or the Ramada after work was always welcome, tickets to movie premieres .......... I was never in a rush to go home.

 

The bus driver was a metaphor for an unattractive employer - the bargirl was just doing her job.. as you know, she didn't really want, roses and googly eyes, but rather to go home to her BF or husband and kids w/some $$ in her pocket.. But she is not going to insult a paying customer - that was all part of the fantasy she was trying to provide... i am sure she didn't enjoy it, but figured playing along was better than picking rice in her village [or fruit in NZ for that matter... ]

 

Actually, I do know a lady in BKK who married a bus driver... didn't seem to work so well either.. 

 

sure, everyone likes gifts, I guess, but did you or would you have slept w/an older guy to get them? 

[1FinickyOne]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Best to set the monthly wage right at the start.

I offered 10k/month, when she asks for a pay rise, I tell her she is free to look for a better employer.

Even young, romantic, true love fades... 

 

i put the house and all in my wife's name and told her if she ever wants me to leave, just give me a days notice... she can have the lovely parting gifts or hang around and see what is behind door #1 #2 or #3... up to her... no hard feelings or accusations... 

 

and no, there is no paperwork, I do not give my bottom dollar, and if she wants me to go at any point, that's ok... that's life - I grew up in a world where marriage did not seem to be forever... 

[BritManToo]

15 hours ago, 1FinickyOne said:

sure, everyone likes gifts, I guess, but did you or would you have slept w/an older guy to get them? 

I ended up sleeping with the Senior Producer at work one night after an office Xmas party.

I don't know if that counts but I had to avoid her for weeks after I sobered up in the morning.

And even worse we were spotted by my PA while sneaking off, so everyone at work knew.

[BritManToo]

15 hours ago, 1FinickyOne said:

I grew up in a world where marriage did not seem to be forever... 

I grew up in a world where marriage was forever, along with your home, savings, pension and children.

But my Brit wife taught me different.

[bojo]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

But my Brit wife taught me different.

Having read shed loads of your honest 'take no prisoners' posts, I'm not in the least bit surprised  ..............

[1FinickyOne]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I grew up in a world where marriage was forever, along with your home, savings, pension and children.

But my Brit wife taught me different.

were you born in victorian times? 

 

my parents stayed together and most, not all of their friends... but by the time I came of age, I knew there was a 50% chance I would have to stay with her forever... I lucked out and a month later I was back in Thailand. 

[BritManToo]

14 hours ago, 1FinickyOne said:

were you born in victorian times? 

 

my parents stayed together and most, not all of their friends... but by the time I came of age, I knew there was a 50% chance I would have to stay with her forever... I lucked out and a month later I was back in Thailand. 

 

Not quite Victorian times.

In the UK things changed in 1995 when the laws were revised and suddenly your wife had the right to accuse you of rape, and keep your house, pension and children. Before that they left with nothing, so they mostly didn't. I would have never married under current UK legislation.

 

For women a relationship is nearly always about acquisition , and today it's too easy for a western wife to take assets from you, making marriage in the west currently pointless for men.

Edited July 3, 2021 by BritManToo

[The Cipher]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Best to set the monthly wage right at the start.

I offered 10k/month, when she asks for a pay rise, I tell her she is free to look for a better employer.

 

I can't tell if this is tongue in cheek or serious.

 

1 hour ago, 1FinickyOne said:

I grew up in a world where marriage did not seem to be forever... 

 

1 hour ago, 1FinickyOne said:

i put the house and all in my wife's name and told her if she ever wants me to leave, just give me a days notice

 

If you believe the former, why do the latter?

---

Not trying to be difficult here. It's interesting to learn from the experiences of others.

 

[BritManToo]

14 hours ago, The Cipher said:

If you believe the former, why do the latter?

Not trying to be difficult here. It's interesting to learn from the experiences of others.

I put 10% of the house in my misses name.

And the other 90% in SCB banks name.

 

I trust the bank not to chuck me out.

Edited July 3, 2021 by BritManToo

[Sparktrader]

21 hours ago, The Hammer2021 said:

I've know some thick ugly overweight  men married to Thai women.

Skinny people r boring. Eat ice cream enjoy life!

[1FinickyOne]

8 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I grew up in a world where marriage was forever, along with your home, savings, pension and children.

But my Brit wife taught me different.

Sure, I understand.. when you were 10 you preferred Herman's Hermits to The Rolling Stones... but when Sgt Peppers came out, you must have been getting an inkling that 'a change is gonna come' 

[1FinickyOne]

21 hours ago, The Cipher said:

If you believe the former, why do the latter?

concerns for my wife's future and hopes that she and the family will have a good life with or without me... 

[BritManToo]

On 7/3/2021 at 3:41 AM, 1FinickyOne said:

Sure, I understand.. when you were 10 you preferred Herman's Hermits to The Rolling Stones... but when Sgt Peppers came out, you must have been getting an inkling that 'a change is gonna come' 

I was more Black Sabbath (my first album purchase) and David Bowie and Genesis. Went to loads of concerts at Brighton Dome.

Edited July 4, 2021 by BritManToo

[The Cipher]

53 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

concerns for my wife's future and hopes that she and the family will have a good life with or without me... 

 

That's very kind of you. I'm not sure I'd do the same.

[1FinickyOne]

6 minutes ago, The Cipher said:

 

That's very kind of you. I'm not sure I'd do the same.

She is a wonderful person who has sacrificed for her wonderful family. That does not mean she is going to love me forever. But probably the biggest factor is that I can [w/o inconvenience to myself] and we are raising a niece as a daughter, so the ties are there... 

[1FinickyOne]

5 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I was more Black Sabbath (my first album purchase) and David Bowie and Genesis. Went to loads of concerts at Brighton Dome.

ok.. go back, 1965... can you fill in the blanks?

 

I'm Ennery the eigth i am - Ennery the eigth I am I am

I got married to the widow next door she's been married _ ?? times before

And every one was an Ennery, wouldn't have a Willie or a _ ?? no _!

 

I'm guessing you can do this.. and if you can... it would have given your 10 yr old you, a clue, at least not to marry the widow next door as anything can happen,,, 

 

Sure, my parents were married forever, better or worse? surely some of both.. for me, if I married my first - - we would probably have both ended up in an asylum.. 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 7/3/2021 at 12:16 PM, 1FinickyOne said:

Does a bus driver want to be romanced by his/her customers? Or do they just want to do their job and go home? 

Bus drivers being human would like their customers to be grateful for the job they do. It's not uncommon for passengers to thank the driver for the safe journey. Does that qualify as a kind of romance?

Conversely, people rarely thank nurses for looking after them when they were sick, or even saving their lives. They certainly don't care that nurses are paid a pittance for their labour. Some nurses even get beaten up by patients. Strange world we live in.

[Orinoco]

On 7/3/2021 at 9:52 AM, BritManToo said:

 

Not quite Victorian times.

In the UK things changed in 1995 when the laws were revised and suddenly your wife had the right to accuse you of rape, and keep your house, pension and children. Before that they left with nothing, so they mostly didn't. I would have never married under current UK legislation.

 

For women a relationship is nearly always about acquisition , and today it's too easy for a western wife to take assets from you, making marriage in the west currently pointless for men.

Nail on the head 

[faraday]

15 minutes ago, Orinoco said:

Nail on the head 

I was treated like a leper, when I got divorced!

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 7/4/2021 at 1:48 PM, The Cipher said:

 

That's very kind of you. I'm not sure I'd do the same.

Agree. My western partner managed to get as much out of me as she possibly could. She didn't give a fig for me, other than as someone to share the expenses.

She managed to find a new man in short order, and when he caught on and divorced her she found another easily. Plenty of us suckers out there to exploit.

[thaibeachlovers]

3 hours ago, faraday said:

I was treated like a leper, when I got divorced!

 

 

Of course. You were not behaving correctly and supporting her needs regardless of how she treated you. Men have to be punished for not accepting their place in society as underlings.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 7/3/2021 at 10:41 PM, 1FinickyOne said:

Sure, I understand.. when you were 10 you preferred Herman's Hermits to The Rolling Stones... but when Sgt Peppers came out, you must have been getting an inkling that 'a change is gonna come' 

I wasn't 10 when I preferred Herman's Hermits to the Stones. I still enjoy the Hermits music when it's on the radio, but I did come to like most of the Stones music, but certainly not all. At least they stayed true to rock and Roll music, unlike the Beatles that IMO took too much Lucy and went weird.

I loved them post Hamburg, but hate almost everything after ( and including ) Sgt Pepper.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 7/3/2021 at 12:38 PM, 1FinickyOne said:

And what was the age difference? Either way, it seems you did not get a good read on the room as they say... 

 

I am sure you are correct and there is an element of that in every marriage - you sure seem to not have an understanding of what she might have wanted... fruit picking being at least one thing... 

 

My father liked vanilla - he couldn't understand how people could eat chocolate if there was vanilla - [they must be stupid] 

You like to pick fruit - others do not consider that to be a great opportunity in life... sounds like you 2 had quite a different set of values and standards... 

 

But, I am sure you know [i would hope so?] that there is a financial aspect to relationships and marriages, especially May/September, especially Thai/farang... the long con, as you call it, is possibly just encroaching/increasing disappointment... 

 

As in, the guy lures me in w/roses and dinners and then he wants me to pick fruit after we get married? and he spends his $$ on beer while my family is struggling...

 

If you are a fruit picking, big-spending, buy the bargirl roses type of guy, how much money could you have had in the first place... maybe she thought, this guy blows his money then wants me to go pick fruit for a living... when he should be supporting me!

 

what a waste of my time this has been - - I should have been better compensated... 

You should stick to talking about what you know and not inventing things to ascribe to my ex wife, about whom you know nothing at all.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 7/3/2021 at 2:52 PM, BritManToo said:

 

Not quite Victorian times.

In the UK things changed in 1995 when the laws were revised and suddenly your wife had the right to accuse you of rape, and keep your house, pension and children. Before that they left with nothing, so they mostly didn't. I would have never married under current UK legislation.

 

For women a relationship is nearly always about acquisition , and today it's too easy for a western wife to take assets from you, making marriage in the west currently pointless for men.

and yet western men still want to get married to western women. Strange world we live in.

 

Back before I discovered Thailand there was a western woman friend that got divorced while I was overseas, and I was upset that I wasn't able to propose to her before she married some other guy. Since I renewed our friendship on returning home I have come to realise what a lucky escape I had.

Perhaps western men want to get married because they don't know what a trap it is, having never visited Thailand.

[1FinickyOne]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

You should stick to talking about what you know and not inventing things to ascribe to my ex wife, about whom you know nothing at all.

I kind of get the feeling that i am not the only one [who knows/knew nothing abt her]...  I would love to hear her side of the story... 

 

Your story is that you married the most horrible woman in the world who ruined your life... of course it prompts the questions why and how could you have misjudged her so badly - - or did you bring out the hell-bitch in her? 

Edited July 5, 2021 by 1FinickyOne

[BritManToo]

43 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

I kind of get the feeling that i am not the only one [who knows/knew nothing abt her]...  I would love to hear her side of the story... 

 

Your story is that you married the most horrible woman in the world who ruined your life... of course it prompts the questions why and how could you have misjudged her so badly - - or did you bring out the hell-bitch in her? 

 

The Kinks-Sunny Afternoon ..... summed up all women's complaints rather well with this song line. "Tellin' tales of drunkenness and cruelty"

No need to ever hear the woman's side of the story because it's always the same.

 

As for the man's side ..... that's always she same as well. "you married the most horrible woman in the world who ruined your life"

 

I've always found the man to be more truthful than the woman, generally because I've never encountered a woman that would accept any blame or responsibility for any decision she ever made or event that happened in her life, no matter how destructive, dangerous or foolish.

Edited July 5, 2021 by BritManToo

[1FinickyOne]

9 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

 

The Kinks-Sunny Afternoon ..... summed up all women's complaints rather well with this song line. "Tellin' tales of drunkenness and cruelty"

 

No need to ever hear the woman's side of the story because it's always the same.

 

No need to ever hear the woman's side of the story because it's always the same. 

 

Does it have something to do with lottery numbers?

Edited July 5, 2021 by 1FinickyOne