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How to Live Harmoniously in the Land of Thai Culture: Short but Sweet Advice


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My Dear Fellows,

 

Many of you might ask the question; how do I fit in while living in Thailand, a place that seems so foreign to my KEN?

 

So:  Here it is, my best word of advice, one single piece of advice, which will help you to feel welcome here, and also will cause others here to welcome you, even with open arms.

 

The secret that you must know is the secret of Story Telling.

 

I do not want to write too much, as you know that I never do.

 

However, this basis for story telling which I mention is the cultural importance of GrengJai.  GrengJai fundamentally means not causing others to become embarrassed or discomforted over not being able to easily fulfil a request. GrengJai also has other meanings, such when one has already asked for something, and then feeling bad about asking for such favor.

 

Still, we all, whether we are Thai or not, must be careful to not make requests which will put others in a difficult position. Why? Because, we do not want to cause others to feel bad about not being able to meet some of our more difficult requests for some sort of help.

 

Back to storytelling:

 

People here love to hear a good story, and do not appreciate too much information which might directly lead to any sort of conflict. This is an oversimplification. Yet, we can think of this oversimplification as a guide which we should follow, if we wish to be welcomed with open arms.

 

This cultural concept of GrengJai, and Storytelling, in order to preserve positive social harmony is not something that one can learn at the drop of a hat.

 

Also, sometimes, if you might wish to request something from another person, you might consider creating your own good story. Also, you should consider providing an ESCAPE-ROUTE for anyone from whom you might request a favor.  Never ask a favor of someone unless you can also provide an escape route so that it might be very simple for anyone to escape from being bound to meet your request for help.

 

I could go on, and on, and on…about this topic. And, very likely, many others here on this forum know quite a bit about this topic, after having lived in both Thailand and other places in Asia. This topic is not exclusively pertinent to Thailand, but to other places in Asia.

 

IN SUMMARY:

a.       Always broach your request for a favor in an oblique way, which provides the requestee to easily refuse your request without feeling that he/she has caused any offense.

b.       If anyone should request a favor of you, then, if you might not be able to fulfill the request, please think of a plausible story, and tell your story in a convincing way, in order to avoid some sort of “direct refusal”.

c.       Keep in mind that, while in Thailand, people here, traditionally, are conditioned, through culture, to do their best to help you if it is within their power to do so.

d.       I could go on, and on, and on…discussing this important topic.

e.       Living in Thailand, is a wonderful thing. Everybody who has been here…knows this.

 

Almost everybody, who has lived here for many years, knows about GrengJai, which is just the Thai words for the same concept present in other Asian cultures.

 

Be well.

 

Learn how to tell a good story.

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1 hour ago, GammaGlobulin said:

I have referred to prevarication only in the positive sense, above.

Society, in Human Terms, cannot exist without innocent story telling.

Everybody knows this, down deep.

Story-telling has become a massive problem in global society.

 

Just think of all the billions of people who burn away endless hours a day following the story narratives of video games, Netflix films, Youtube, etc, don't you think if those people had instead done something useful, developed their talents, studied something that can lead to genius, we would not have more geniuses?

 

I predict that thanks to video games, mobile phone games, social media, YouTube, Netflix, BBCiplayer etc those with genius potential will be tempted to waste hours following outlandish story lines, instead of developing their true talents.

 

It's a real problem for the future of humanity.

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32 minutes ago, GammaGlobulin said:

Some of the brightest minds you will ever know are the minds in Third Form form to Sixth Form. These are the minds that are still curious. These are the minds that have not yet become too dumbed down by the ed system. They ask important questions, and they do not have any sort of political objective

 

In other words the minds stuck on playing Ghost of Tsushima and Halo. They ask important questions like "What is the best hard drive to use with my playstation?".

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Hi Gamma, that's an easy fix mate, have nothing to do with them unless you have too. I've been married to a Thai for 20 years and this has never failed me. It took me 2 years to learn this. Farangs must get into their heads it's not the bar girl culture, it's the Isarn girl culture and believe many are feral. That's why so many are "victims" of domestic violence. You never see this in the Thai/Chinese relationships, my wifes grand son goes to university, if he he lived where his granny come from he'd be a layabout on drugs.

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5 minutes ago, Tanomazu said:

I predict that thanks to video games, mobile phone games, social media, YouTube, Netflix, BBCiplayer etc those with genius potential will be tempted to waste hours following outlandish story lines, instead of developing their true talents.

There ARE lots of documentaries and educational videos on the platforms you mention. But yes, in general, many younger people ( and I include my 50 year old wife in that) waste hours & hours watching 5hite.

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7 minutes ago, Tanomazu said:

In other words the minds stuck on playing Ghost of Tsushima and Halo. They ask important questions like "What is the best hard drive to use with my playstation?".

And then they realise they should have an SSD not an HDD.   555

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13 minutes ago, KannikaP said:

There ARE lots of documentaries and educational videos on the platforms you mention. But yes, in general, many younger people ( and I include my 50 year old wife in that) waste hours & hours watching 5hite.

Yes, true, but watching Netflix films, whether documentary or Korean historic epics is unlikely to produce a Michael Faraday or a Stephen Hawking. You really have to spend hours studying and doing things that hone your talents. My fear is that with the many, many ways the youth of today can waste time digitally, the fall in IQ we have seen in Denmark will just be the start of a more pronounced decline in IQ.

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21 minutes ago, simon43 said:

Well, if that is the 'short but sweet advice', I shall probably top myself if I have to read the long version.....

Uttering the term GrengJai can also mean: "I truly realize that my request for your help has been a great imposition upon you... But, your help is something I really need.  Therefore, now that you have helped me in this way, I really feel indebted to you for your great kindness". 

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