Lending Money to Thai Ladies

[KhaoYai]

7 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

How did you avoid splitting everything?

Long and complicated story but I'll try to simplify it as much as I can. The law in the UK is not as clear cut as a lot of people think.  When considering settlements the courts take several things into account including:

 

The length of time married,

Property owned by each partner prior to marriage.

The financial impact of each partner and how long it would take them to recover from it.

 

There are other considerations such as children but we didn't have any.

 

In my case, for once, the substantial age difference played in my favour - I had much less time until retirement than my wife did and so, less time to recover financially from any settlement (I knew about this from a previous divorce).  Although we had been married for 4 years my wife had only been in the UK for 1 year so I suggested to her lawyer that a court would consider the start date for any financial consideration was when she arrived in the UK.

 

I had considerable property holdings in the UK - all of which I had owned well before we were married so my now ex, brought nothing to the marriage, nor did she enable me to accumulate any wealth by taking care of the house etc. The only thing she might have been able to claim was that my holdings had increased in value since we were married. At a different time, she may have had some claim to that but this was in the middle of the recession and property values had fallen substantially - she'd have been welcome to share my losses.

 

I ran my thinking past my lawyer before writing to hers and he agreed that my reasoning was correct.  I wrote to her lawyer stating my case and suggested that the settlement would be somewhere between a small amount and zero but in order to expedite matters, a divorce in Thailand would be far easier and I would happily pay for my wife's ticket.

 

I'm pretty sure that her lawyer would have advised her that she could fight my assertions but there would be a cost involved.  My ex was a pretty smart cookie and was perfectly capable of weighing up her chances given my argument vs her lawyer's opinion - she backed down and accepted my offer.  So I guess to be 100% accurate, it actually cost me £600 for her ticket, not zero.

 

If a marriage is well established, children are involved and wealth has been accumulated after marriage, things can be very different but the age difference thing is something most are not aware of and for once, it plays in our favour.  In a lot of cases its not the 50/50 nightmare many think it is - unless you roll over.

[bert bloggs]

I have never loaned money to a Thai girl ,but i did lend my 1st wife some she never gave it back ,but she now has lots of money and when i was ill a year or so ago sent me 4k ,amazing my second wife loaned me money a long time ago when i was ripped off in a business deal,when back on my feet i paid her back ,thats it ,my father had one rule " trust nobody" then you are never dissapointed.

[Sunnny]

Lending money is a dangerous thing. In many parts of the world the lenders quite often get killed by the borrowers. Off course, the bigger the sums - the more dangerous it becomes for the one who lends.

 

 

Edited February 13, 2022 by Sunnny

[chilli42]

I never lend money to Thai men or women.  Thirty years here has taught me that being paid back by a Thai is as rare as hens teeth (might say the same for many foreigners here as well).  So when I do underwrite a “loan”, in cases where I feel financial support is badly needed, I consider the money a donation. I am almost never disappointed.

[Neeranam]

On 2/11/2022 at 11:07 PM, Danderman123 said:

the short story is do not lend money to Thai ladies if you expect to be paid back. 

Not true, you are probably talking about lending money to women you find in Pattaya beer bars, who are basically prostitutes. 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 2/12/2022 at 6:17 PM, Liverpool Lou said:

Even more concerning than the subject of loaning money to Thai girls is why so many people refer to female Thai as "ladies", "my lady", etc., they're girls, or women.  Where else in the world do men refer to females they have relationships with, as my "lady"?  

because when we grew up that's what we referred to adult females as.

Edited February 14, 2022 by thaibeachlovers

[thaibeachlovers]

On 2/12/2022 at 10:54 PM, KhaoYai said:

Long and complicated story but I'll try to simplify it as much as I can. The law in the UK is not as clear cut as a lot of people think.  When considering settlements the courts take several things into account including:

 

The length of time married,

Property owned by each partner prior to marriage.

The financial impact of each partner and how long it would take them to recover from it.

 

There are other considerations such as children but we didn't have any.

 

In my case, for once, the substantial age difference played in my favour - I had much less time until retirement than my wife did and so, less time to recover financially from any settlement (I knew about this from a previous divorce).  Although we had been married for 4 years my wife had only been in the UK for 1 year so I suggested to her lawyer that a court would consider the start date for any financial consideration was when she arrived in the UK.

 

I had considerable property holdings in the UK - all of which I had owned well before we were married so my now ex, brought nothing to the marriage, nor did she enable me to accumulate any wealth by taking care of the house etc. The only thing she might have been able to claim was that my holdings had increased in value since we were married. At a different time, she may have had some claim to that but this was in the middle of the recession and property values had fallen substantially - she'd have been welcome to share my losses.

 

I ran my thinking past my lawyer before writing to hers and he agreed that my reasoning was correct.  I wrote to her lawyer stating my case and suggested that the settlement would be somewhere between a small amount and zero but in order to expedite matters, a divorce in Thailand would be far easier and I would happily pay for my wife's ticket.

 

I'm pretty sure that her lawyer would have advised her that she could fight my assertions but there would be a cost involved.  My ex was a pretty smart cookie and was perfectly capable of weighing up her chances given my argument vs her lawyer's opinion - she backed down and accepted my offer.  So I guess to be 100% accurate, it actually cost me £600 for her ticket, not zero.

 

If a marriage is well established, children are involved and wealth has been accumulated after marriage, things can be very different but the age difference thing is something most are not aware of and for once, it plays in our favour.  In a lot of cases its not the 50/50 nightmare many think it is - unless you roll over.

Depends on the country. Far as I know, NZ has no fault divorce ( after a legal separation of 2 years ) with a mandatory 50/50 split of assets/ money acquired after marriage. If children involved she might get house to live in till they are old enough. Doesn't make any difference if legally married or not. After 2 or 3 years ( not sure of the exact time ) living together, the state considers legally married anyway.

[Danderman123]

46 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

Not true, you are probably talking about lending money to women you find in Pattaya beer bars, who are basically prostitutes. 

It’s interesting that so many posters disagree with you.

[Berkshire]

On 2/12/2022 at 9:41 AM, rwill said:

Why specify women.  It really applies to anyone.  Most people that need money don't have the means to repay it either.

Agree.  It seems the OP is just looking for clickbait and encouraging Thai bashing from the usual suspects.  I wouldn't lend money to anyone, expats included.  I might lend money to family....but then none in my family would ever ask to borrow money. 

[Neeranam]

15 minutes ago, Danderman123 said:

It’s interesting that so many posters disagree with you.

They are probably in Pattaya or only know women from there. 

[Neeranam]

On 2/12/2022 at 5:34 AM, Danderman123 said:

I got hit up by a Thai lady this morning on Messenger for a loan, which I ignored. 

 

In the afternoon, she posted on Facebook that she was making Triple Overtime at work, ie she was making the big bucks. 

 

In my experience, some of the loan requests come from their boyfriend complaining about lack of money. Maybe he wants a new motorcycle or just money for drinking. 

What is her job?

 

Do you seriously get asked for money from Thai women with boyfriends? 

 

Are you a Pattaya dweller?

 

If so, stop brushing all Thai women with the same brush. 

[Neeranam]

Actually, stop brushing  all farang with the same brush too. 

[Kwasaki]

33 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

Agree.  It seems the OP is just looking for clickbait and encouraging Thai bashing from the usual suspects.  I wouldn't lend money to anyone, expats included.  I might lend money to family....but then none in my family would ever ask to borrow money. 

As always the money lender thing applies to anywhere you live. 

We lend money to the family but only a select few.

Remember my mate in UK saying I lend some people a fiver to get rid of em because I don't have to see them anymore. ????????

[fredscats]

Yeah   right   lol

[Kwasaki]

5 minutes ago, fredscats said:

Yeah   right   lol

Do you want to borrow a fiver, go on please.

[Nickelbeer]

Consider it a gift and write it off.

[Liverpool Lou]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

On 2/12/2022 at 12:17 PM, Liverpool Lou said:

Even more concerning than the subject of loaning money to Thai girls is why so many people refer to female Thai as "ladies", "my lady", etc., they're girls, or women.  Where else in the world do men refer to females they have relationships with, as my "lady"?  

because when we grew up that's what we referred to adult females as.

555555!    But those adult females weren't your wives or girlfriends! 

 

So if you introduce your wife (or whatever) to someone you say to them (with a straight face and no embarrassment),  "Let me introduce you to my lady?   Really?   

Edited February 14, 2022 by Liverpool Lou

[Neeranam]

3 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

555555!    So if you introduce your wife (or whatever) to someone you say to them,  "Let me introduce you to my lady?   Really?   

Something macho about talking about your wife as 'my lady' or 'the wife'. Non-subservient women take offence.

[RafPinto]

Everyday another stupid (man) is born.

 

Just yesterday I was chatting to a Thai woman.
She said that one of her friends has a new boyfriend from the USA.
He sends her money every month. They are a couple but never ever met once. 5555

How stupid can you be?

 

She probably expended already her business venture into her own franchise.
If 1 is stupid enough, why not having 10 boyfriends 555

[Liverpool Lou]

10 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

14 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

555555!    So if you introduce your wife (or whatever) to someone you say to them,  "Let me introduce you to my lady?   Really?   

Something macho about talking about your wife as 'my lady' or 'the wife'. Non-subservient women take offence.

Don't know whether it's "macho", it sure is daft, though. 

 

I doubt that anyone in their own country would refer to their other half as "my lady" without bringing on barely hidden guffaws of derision.

[Bruno123]

Would not ever consider lending money to a bar girl. Would not even contemplate handling money from her even if she wanted to pay it back. If i want to give, I give and that's the end of it.

I helped a few people out during the bleakest 'COVID' times; though one or two fools thought they could take advantage.

The latest was one who talked about forgetting to pay for her motorbike for the past four months and when I challenged that, laughed and said that she was really just moving to a new room. Blocked.

This isn't a bar girl, but someone who works, albeit for not a lot of money.

 

[thaibeachlovers]

28 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

Don't know whether it's "macho", it sure is daft, though. 

 

I doubt that anyone in their own country would refer to their other half as "my lady" without bringing on barely hidden guffaws of derision.

Never heard the term "my old lady" then?

[thaibeachlovers]

48 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

555555!    But those adult females weren't your wives or girlfriends! 

 

So if you introduce your wife (or whatever) to someone you say to them (with a straight face and no embarrassment),  "Let me introduce you to my lady?   Really?   

I wasn't aware that that was what you meant when you wrote the post I replied to. I thought you were talking about what people wrote on the forum.

[ColeBOzbourne]

1 hour ago, Liverpool Lou said:

I doubt that anyone in their own country would refer to their other half as "my lady" without bringing on barely hidden guffaws of derision.

Perfectly normal where I come from. Don't know what the big deal is. However, we stopped using the word 'guffaw' about a century ago, words like 'derision' are usually reserved for the snobby folks, and you managed to squeeze them both into one sentence. 

Edited February 14, 2022 by ColeBOzbourne

[Liverpool Lou]

1 minute ago, ColeBOzbourne said:

Perfectly normal where I come from. Don't know what the big deal is. However, we stopped using the word 'guffaw' about a century ago, and using words like 'derision' is usually reserved for the snobby folks.

Who's making a big deal out of it?   Thanks for your unwarranted "grammar" lesson, anyway, even though us "snobby folks" (does that mean people with a vocabulary?) didn't need it. 

 

By the way, we've never used the word "folks", that's always reserved for....well, I'm sure you know for whom.  

[Danderman123]

It seems there are some posters here who think that lending money to females in Thailand is a good idea, and others who think it is so obviously stupid that there is no need to discuss it.

 

 

[Lacessit]

I've loaned small amounts of money to several Thais, and been surprised when I got the money back.

I tend to think in terms of a loan being a gift. That way I am not disappointed when the money fails to return.

If it was a large loan, I would be wanting collateral. So far in Thailand, no one has tried it on.

[Danderman123]

Geez, my massage lady sent me a message asking for a loan of 3000 baht because her mother is in the hospital. Yeah, she sent a photo of her mother in the hospital. 

 

I should send her the 30 baht for payment to the hospital. 

 

I guess she doesn't know that I know about the 30 baht plan. It would have been more effective if she had sent a photo of a sick Buffalo. 

Edited March 4, 2022 by Danderman123

[Credo]

I don't lend money to people.  I give them a lot, but I NEVER expect to see it again.  People who are in dire straits generally don't have the ability or wherewithal to pay off debt.  Depending on my own situation, if they are good people, I will give them some money.  

 

Surprisingly, I had a friend and his girlfriend who had a very premature baby and ran into considerable medical expenses to keep the child alive -- He was born a day before what is generally considered to be the age of viability.   I lent them a rather large sum.  I moved and they moved, with their baby who did make it.  I then lost contact and about 5 years later, out of the blue and through mutual acquaintances, I get a call from them wanting to know the exact amount I gave them (it was over a period of a couple of months, so not a lump sum amount).  I told them and the next day it was deposited in my account.   

 

They both had a good education and careers possibilities for them were good.   

[HauptmannUK]

About 5 years ago a girl who my wife and I had had a few threesomes with contacted me and asked for 10k THB to fund a trip to work in Taiwan.  She said she'd give me 12k on her return.  My wife was very dubious that I'd ever see the money again but I had a gut feeling that the girl was pretty honest.

Anyway I handed her the cash and took a photo of her ID card - more as an indication that I was serious about wanting the money back.

Few months later I got a message from her saying she'd just arrived back in Thailand and requesting my bank details to do a transfer. Sure enough she transferred 12k THB.!