The waning smiles / humor of Farangs.

[swissie]

As a matter of routine, I always kept in touch with my Farang friends in Thailand. Mostly by way of "Skype". Some have died, some are still alive and kicking.

But, over the years, I have noticed an increasing "somber" undertone, while talking to my Farang Friends back in Thailand. They preferrably talk about "problems". Left and right. Mostly "financially related", as I gather.

Worse: They seem to have lost all sense of "European-Humor" over time. Be it "black british humor" all the way to scandinavian and continental european and boisterous US humor.

What happened? To make a verbal joke, one must say that this was meant as a joke. To send a written joke, one must send a "smiley" along with it, to be understood as a joke.

What happened to Farangs in paradise?

The fact, that Thais find the most laughter when it comes to the Misfortune of others, can not possibly be the reason for a Farang to abandon harmless "european-humor" (benevolant). In exchange for  the maglignant Thai Humor.

Or is it?

[Kinnock]

Interesting observation, and there's another side.  When I chat to old friends back in the country I left 15 years ago,  or when I make trips back there, I now find the 'Western' sense of humour to be cruel, mean spirited and unfunny.

 

Perhaps the Thai culture of not making others feel bad has rubbed off on me, but Western humour so often serms to rely on putting others down.  Cruel and hurtful remarks are excused as humour, when in fact they can be damaging or at least embarrassing to the subject.

 

I find that most Thais have a self-deprecating sense of humour, where the but of joke is themsrlves, whereas many Westerners use humour as a way to show superiority over another person.

 

I was as guilty of this as my old friends when I first arrived in Thailand,  and my Thai friends have since said that they thought I was rude.  I think I'm now more aware of my impact on others, and rarely make jokes at other people's expense ...... unless they are French of course.

Edited July 13, 2022 by Kinnock

[1FinickyOne]

covid disease, covid cabin fever, inflation, politics, etc etc... getting older and achier... war in Ukraine, mass shootings, lots of suffering out there in the world... 

 

Hail Dystopia!!

[JeffersLos]

28 minutes ago, swissie said:

over the years, I have noticed

 

28 minutes ago, swissie said:

They seem

Perhaps due to your age you are starting to suffer from dementia etc, which explains your changes in perception? 

[Kinnock]

39 minutes ago, JeffersLos said:

 

Perhaps due to your age you are starting to suffer from dementia etc, which explains your changes in perception? 

....... thank you for confirming the observations in my post above.

[rumak]

those hansum young men just ain't as cheery as they used to be.   dat da truth 

 

[scubascuba3]

I'm pretty sure as the money runs out the sense of humour goes down equally 

[ezzra]

Even though living in Thailand is easy and almost hassle free, still, people has their own demons to deal with, from money problems, health, relationship and families back home worries, the world in turmoil and so forth, and with all the above, sometimes its hard to keep smiling and joking...

[Kwasaki]

8 hours ago, swissie said:

What happened to Farangs in paradise?

Nothing as far as I know, are you just trying to make yourself happy by thinking your friends Thailand are not.

Maybe they think Oh No !! not him again. ????????

[ColeBOzbourne]

Perhaps the nastiness between humans that has become so acceptable in Social Media is now slowly creeping into the real world.????

[BangkokReady]

8 hours ago, Kinnock said:

Perhaps the Thai culture of not making others feel bad has rubbed off on me, but Western humour so often serms to rely on putting others down.  Cruel and hurtful remarks are excused as humour, when in fact they can be damaging or at least embarrassing to the subject.

I often found that Western culture in general relies on putting others down or making other people feel bad.  It always seems/seemed that success wasn't enough, you have to show that you are better than another.  And I feel that permeates every area of society, with a strong focus on consumerism and not just keeping up with the Jones but desperately showing that you are better than them.

[BangkokReady]

12 minutes ago, ColeBOzbourne said:

Perhaps the nastiness between humans that has become so acceptable in Social Media is now slowly creeping into the real world.????

Many people say "social media is toxic and is making you depressed", but no one listens.

[BE88]

I note that the whole society has changed everywhere in the West as in Thailand due to the ease of contacting others on social media and insulting others you don't know just because you disagree on an issue and believe that it is without consequences as also here on ASEAN .

These social networks that create false friends and false enemies are one of the causes of the malaise of this society.

Add how all countries gradually impoverish the population in general for various reasons, all this accelerates the decay of well-being and therefore of being able to live harmoniously.

Furthermore, in the last three years the situation of fear and closure of social life and for many the lack of financial resources has made the situation even worse.

The people here in Thailand behind their masks have forgotten to smile, fear has taken over.

We hope that next year it will be better with the end of this Covid epidemic, and the end of the war in Europe

 

[rumak]

1 hour ago, BangkokReady said:

I often found that Western culture in general relies on putting others down or making other people feel bad.  It always seems/seemed that success wasn't enough, you have to show that you are better than another.  And I feel that permeates every area of society, with a strong focus on consumerism and not just keeping up with the Jones but desperately showing that you are better than them.

jing jing....

[BigStar]

13 hours ago, swissie said:

But, over the years, I have noticed an increasing "somber" undertone, while talking to my Farang Friends back in Thailand.

That seems merely a projection of and reaction to your own "somber thaughts" as related here:

 

The older I get, the more I realise that "father-time" is starting to breathe down my neck. "Father-Time" whispering things in my ears like "Time is no more on your side and the best is behind you and the future is reduced to a big question mark at best". Resulting in "somber thaughts" occasionally on my part.

 

Seems more than occasionally, but rather obsessively, as that statement is a repetition of

 

It seems, the older I get, the more I dwell on things.

 

Misery loves company, eh? But I thought you'd already arrived at a solution:

 

What to do? Best do nothing.

 

after concocting this excellent justification: "the future:"

 

I myself believe, that upon my demise, nobody will ask me any questions anymore.

 

Perfect. But instead of doing nothing, we find you taking all kinds of meds and asking your own questions in the Health forum; and now you've even left Thailand to seek treatment, so attempting to postpone the solution. Why is that?

 

Me, I'm not having any "somber thaughts" and regularly have good laughs with my friends.

 

Now, to throw out a bone, I do wish the Russian hotties who were decorating the beach hadn't all left owing to the Ukraine thing; this, after they were--ah!--starting to come back; but it's just not getting me down. Still lots of lovely Thais.???? I can wait.

 

Edited July 14, 2022 by BigStar

[zzaa09]

Innocent and unaware Farang.

Kinda sums up the OP.

[swissie]

Possibly, the Farangs with "somber thaughts" don't really want to comment on the subject here. As it would only confirm and increase their somber thaughts.

[swissie]

On 7/14/2022 at 8:48 AM, BigStar said:

That seems merely a projection of and reaction to your own "somber thaughts" as related here:

 

The older I get, the more I realise that "father-time" is starting to breathe down my neck. "Father-Time" whispering things in my ears like "Time is no more on your side and the best is behind you and the future is reduced to a big question mark at best". Resulting in "somber thaughts" occasionally on my part.

 

Seems more than occasionally, but rather obsessively, as that statement is a repetition of

 

It seems, the older I get, the more I dwell on things.

 

Misery loves company, eh? But I thought you'd already arrived at a solution:

 

What to do? Best do nothing.

 

after concocting this excellent justification: "the future:"

 

I myself believe, that upon my demise, nobody will ask me any questions anymore.

 

Perfect. But instead of doing nothing, we find you taking all kinds of meds and asking your own questions in the Health forum; and now you've even left Thailand to seek treatment, so attempting to postpone the solution. Why is that?

 

Me, I'm not having any "somber thaughts" and regularly have good laughs with my friends.

 

Now, to throw out a bone, I do wish the Russian hotties who were decorating the beach hadn't all left owing to the Ukraine thing; this, after they were--ah!--starting to come back; but it's just not getting me down. Still lots of lovely Thais.???? I can wait.

 

Yes, I myself have somber thaughts, but they are not Thailand related.

[Skallywag]

On 7/14/2022 at 12:20 AM, swissie said:

. Some have died, some are still alive and kicking.

 

On 7/14/2022 at 12:20 AM, swissie said:

They preferrably talk about "problems". Left and right. Mostly "financially related", as I gather.

 

On 7/14/2022 at 12:20 AM, swissie said:

What happened to Farangs in paradise?

Your friends are old and crotchety compared to 5 years ago and have lost their lust for life.  ????????

I have only seen small price increases in the last year, yet I live simply, have no car or motorbike, and stay relatively healthy.   

I get bored with most of my friends back in the US as they have not changed in 30 years and only gripe about politics, pains and aches, and what to do in retirement.  

 

All are married and consider themselves stuck in that marriage for life, even though only one ever even mentions his wife.  

[Skallywag]

On 7/14/2022 at 9:30 AM, BangkokReady said:

And I feel that permeates every area of society, with a strong focus on consumerism and not just keeping up with the Jones but desperately showing that you are better than them.

Very true for most/some people, do not think this with Thai people as much as they are more concerned with basic needs and care of their families.

As an expat, this is one reason I left the US, though I do read on expat forums here about those who still seem to obsess about purchasing that one cool new car or motorbike or getting a bigger condo, etc...  

Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller were once at a billionaires party when Kurt said to him, "How does it feel to know this guy makes more money in one day than you made in total on the publishing and sales of Catch-22?   Heller said, "But I have something he will never have - Enough"

Edited July 15, 2022 by Skallywag

[StreetCowboy]

On 7/14/2022 at 1:52 AM, JeffersLos said:

 

Perhaps due to your age you are starting to suffer from dementia etc, which explains your changes in perception? 

Perverse evolution of perception is not necessarily due to dementia.  Dementia is a horrific condition from which there is no way back, and available solutions are completely unpalatable.

[StreetCowboy]

On 7/14/2022 at 10:30 AM, BangkokReady said:

I often found that Western culture in general relies on putting others down or making other people feel bad.  It always seems/seemed that success wasn't enough, you have to show that you are better than another.  And I feel that permeates every area of society, with a strong focus on consumerism and not just keeping up with the Jones but desperately showing that you are better than them.

I think that’s just the company that you keep, and reading too much consumerist press.

There was a thread on the pub forum about a lady with large breasts, and although I googled, I have forgotten who she was, or for what she was famous.  
I guess that Soap Operas are going through an imaginative low point, that people are using celebrities and social media as a substitute.

[BangkokReady]

1 hour ago, StreetCowboy said:

I think that’s just the company that you keep, and reading too much consumerist press.

No, it's my general impression of Western culture.  It has little to do with the company that I keep and I don't consume much "consumerist press".

[BangkokReady]

2 hours ago, Skallywag said:

do not think this with Thai people as much as they are more concerned with basic needs and care of their families

I guess we're all the same on the inside, just different flavours.  Having to worry about one's basic needs and not having a social safety net surely makes a difference for Thais, and we certainly don't have the same sense of family or community that our grandparents had. 

 

Thai people also do obsess about all sorts of things, but being better than others and putting other people down doesn't seem to be one of them.  Even the ones who want flash cars and iPhones don't seem to do it in a "I need to be better than him" kind of way.

 

It's certainly a nicer place to be in this regard.

 

2 hours ago, Skallywag said:

"But I have something he will never have - Enough"

No doubt, while still bothered by ego, artists are more concerned with the creative process than how much money is in their bank.  I do feel sorry for the mega-wealthy.  They rarely seem to be happy.  I know I'd rather look back and have brought joy to millions through some artistic endeavour than simply having an enormous bank balance.

[2009]

3 hours ago, Skallywag said:

Very true for most/some people, do not think this with Thai people as much as they are more concerned with basic needs and care of their families.

I see Thais being very materialistic and try to keep up with the other Somsaks and Ting Tongs probably much more than I ever witnessed back West.

 

Cars, bike, gold, phones, designer things, house, land, making merit/donations, dowry, gifts, how much ice cream money their kid gets each day for school.......so much competition.

 

They are the only people I have even known to lie about the cost of something to make it more expensive. Lol (i.e. saying their house cost 10 million when it clearly cost 2 million).

 

It's probably just a massive chip on their shoulder. Insecurity. Or maybe "new money" folks. "Old money" people don't act like this.

 

Whereas, where I come from we might lie to make it sound cheaper, like we found a bargain.

 

Thailand is hands down the most shallow, materialistic place I have ever seen.

Edited July 15, 2022 by 2009

[Sparktrader]

Life sucks then you die

[LaosLover]

The mean-funny school of comedians is declining over all.  The young fear offending anyone and having it googlable forever.  The problem: Mean-funny is the funniest-funny.

 

To list but a few in order of my preference (which means meaness): Chris Rock, Ricky Gervais, Eddy Murphy, Frankie Boyle. Even Amy Shumer; she's a little bit mean.

 

Frankie Boyle is literally too mean even for the mean-comedy States, where mean-comedy is alway neck and neck with the English (plus he won't fly). He called his book, My Piece of ---- of a Book. 

 

The Germans get off some zingers too. The French, you'd think would be mean-comic, but not so much. Maybe a language barrier.

 

 

[mstevens]

6 hours ago, 2009 said:

I see Thais being very materialistic and try to keep up with the other Somsaks and Ting Tongs probably much more than I ever witnessed back West.

 

Cars, bike, gold, phones, designer things, house, land, making merit/donations, dowry, gifts, how much ice cream money their kid gets each day for school.......so much competition.

 

Agree 100%. In my country of New Zealand, in most company no-one gives a toss about what sort of phone you use and you'll actually get brownie points for playing things down generally, especially if you do have means. Drive an old (but reliable) car, wear old (but clean) clothes until they're totally worn and NOT playing the big man with money go a long way in this part of the world.  My Thai Mrs' sister used to ask her why I used to never buy the newest, fashionable clothes rather than dress down. To her, it was unfathomable that I chose to not to be flashy whereas in my country, that sort of behaviour is considered unseemly, pretentious and showy.

[Maha Sarakham]

7 hours ago, 2009 said:

Thailand is hands down the most shallow, materialistic place I have ever seen.

Yeah pretty much, money is worshiped these days.

[MrMuddle]

in my wife's (Thai) family the ones worth bothering with are not at all materialistic, and care about the family as a whole, and not just themselves, or their part of the greater family.
While the ones that are greedy, selfish, and uncaring, are so shallow that we barely give them the time of day. These people also drink, and gamble a lot, neither of which ever seems to make them happy.