THE WEEK THAT WAS Calling removal firms: Please go to Government House, there’s someone who needs to be taken away

[webfact]

 

OPINION | by Rooster

 

Every time Rooster reviews the latest news as reported on ASEAN NOW’s Facebook arm there is an advertisement for a local removals firm.

 

They advertise “Secure and Inexpensive Thailand Removals”.

 

I wonder if they’d take a job at Government House - there’s an incumbent there who Rooster and at least half the Thai population desperately need removing.

 

The firm also does “Global Relocation” - might I suggest that Prayut - Uncle Too to his ever dwindling band of friends - be taken to Sri Lanka.

 

It’s lovely and sunny there with a nice beach or two for a long and happy retirement, well away from causing any more trouble.

 

It can be looked on as a reciprocal arrangement after the Sri Lankan president was given sanctuary in Thailand. I’m sure the Sri Lankans wouldn’t mind. They could benefit from his spending some of his 128 million baht helping their economy!

 

Prayut - our father who art still in khaki, hollow be thy name - is as past his sell-by date as last week’s som tam left out of the fridge. 

 

This week the belligerent bully who seized power in a coup in 2014 and is grimly trying to hold onto it, was at his withering worst having a go at the Thai press for being dishonest, as he saw it, regarding electric bills. 

 

Then mysteriously saying that the Thai hacks need to take a look at the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism about suffering. 

 

 

No, he wasn’t talking about the suffering of the Thai people under his watch. In fact it was impossible to say what he was burbling about. A senior monk in Nonthaburi didn’t have a clue either. 

 

The monk was suffering like the rest of us with an electric bill that had sky-rocketed not the “few satang” that Prayut claimed. 

 

Now I’m not saying that politicians are directly responsible for all price increases. But people like Prayut need to understand accountability. He still thinks he’s in the barracks and the underlings will jump to the tune of his voice.

 

After eight long years you’d think he’d have appreciated that. He hasn’t, he’s worse than ever and needs to call it a day.

 

 

A Super Poll - notorious for their biased surveys - could barely sugar coat it in their report on the six main candidates to be the next PM, Prayut included. 

 

They referred to his loyalty, hard work for the nation and, wait for it…opening the country to the Saudis! If that was the best they could come up with then heaven help us!

 

On the reverse side he was described as petulant, hopeless at handling real issues and has just been around too long. Amen.

 

Whether Thaksin’s daughter Ung Ing or health minister Anutin can do any better is a moot point. Certainly DMP Prawit won’t be able to, though the luxury watch industry and pie sellers might beg to differ. 

 

Maybe it’s time for Surachate “Big Joke” Hakpan - the charismatic poster boy of the RTP - to throw his hat into the ring. Like him or loathe him he does manage to get things done. 

 

BJ was all over the news again in the last seven days following his criticism of “dirty Pattaya” with observations of messy Phuket that needed upgrading. Then before tea he had time to sort out illegal fishing and human trafficking. 

 

 

Surachate understands the press and uses them cleverly - the very antithesis of a barking general. 

 

Also needing urgent removal is a Dutch tourist caught shooting fish in a marine park in Krabi. The forum and Facebook threw up plenty of smoke and mirrors about this character saying that the boat captain that took him on his parrotfish adventure was just as guilty.

 

Most conveniently forgot that the tourist was a professional speargun fisherman who would have completely understood that he was doing was illegal. I’m not in favor of jail time - he won’t get any anyway, it'll be suspended - but he needs to be shown the door. 

 

 

How about taking him to a chilly place in the North Atlantic where there are still a few cod?

 

The boat captain should lose his licence and his livelihood. 

 

As many people pointed out, parrotfish are not endangered. I expect you can buy them in Makro. But anyone should know that removing any animals from marine or land based parks in Thailand is a complete no-no. Remember Atila the Hun and the sea slugs a few years ago? I spoke to him at the time and he knew he’d be deported.

 

Like the Dutch tourist, their antics were recorded on social media leaving gung-ho environment minister Varawut Silpa-archa with no wiggle room. 

 

Some posters thought the case would have a negative effect on tourism. Utter nonsense, the vast majority of tourists are respectful and sensible in Thailand and social media tells them oh so clearly the Do’s and Don’ts of a holiday in Thailand. 

 

In other news, justice minister Somsak Thepsuthin commented on the intriguing prospect that research currently being conducted by the NCB and Khon Kaen uni could see magic mushrooms become a cash crop one day.

 

 

The idea that “het khee khwai (buffalo pooh mushrooms) could be decriminalized like weed is interesting. Many studies have shown that the main drug in them - psilocybin - is effective in treating serious depression, alcoholism and even nicotine addiction.

 

Back in 1982 I was with a mate when we inquired what “No Name 50 Baht” was on the bottom of the Chaweng Bungalow menu. 

 

Both having never tried ‘shrooms before we steeled ourselves and each had an omelette one morning. When we get together now we still talk about our memories of that day on the beach. 

 

I tried them a few more times in Indonesia before a bad experience - there was an argument between people not connected to the taking of the drug - that made me reticent to ever do it again.  

 

Lest we forget that LSD was (and still is) considered a wonder drug until “Reefer Madness” style bad press put the kibosh on that. The problem with using mushrooms - like many illegal drugs - is getting the dosage right, presumably something that medicinal dosing of psilocybin addresses. 

 

The minister warned about their current illegality and danger to youth but potential for an economic marvel as they grow all over Thailand and have been used in small doses by country docs to treat insomnia.

 

Not something I thought Thais ever suffered from……

 

Meanwhile the regulations surrounding kratom are set to be announced, said the chief of the NCB. This plant was removed from the Class 5 narcotics list before marijuana. 

 

 

The much anticipated rules about weed should follow before the end of September. 

 

Fallout from the Mountain B fire continued with doubts over who is actually the owner - the father of “Sia B”, the young man who said he was the owner, was bailed by the Pattaya court for a million baht. This is Sia Yot. 

 

The death toll from the fire rose to 19 as BMA officials continued to make sure Khao San road clubs have enough unlocked exits. The deputy governor also took time out to sniff some ganja jars…..

 

This was followed by tourism minister Pipat going to the road we used to call a zoo in the 1980s, to drum up support for his 4 am closing drive. 

 

 

Lip service will be paid to the concerns of residents over noise because as Pipat admitted, it is all about getting more revenue.

 

As someone who regularly used to tumble out of clubs in the middle of the night and the Thermae at 6 am, I do feel that people should have the freedom to go out when they please.

 

 

Thailand needs to get back to the time when they were less officious and more free-wheeling. And please ditch the masks - while tourists will understand that their wearing is now not mandatory I do feel it gives the wrong impression. 

 

Several threads on ASEAN NOW had Rooster wondering about its direction. “Lucky old you in Thailand with a young wife” had plenty of comments. My first wife was 13 years my senior though my second was admittedly 15 years my junior. 

 

 

I consider myself lucky with both as they have given me the greatest gift of all - adorable children. 

 

“How does Thailand rank on the price of sex index?” had many commenting that it was not appropriate in a country where prostitution is officially illegal.

 

The price of about 6,000 baht in Thailand clearly referred to escorts. 

 

A picture on Facebook of a green chicken bucket with Colonel Sanders in shades was accompanied by the letters THC. 

 

 

Really? I’d hate to see my employers sued by a multinational company as it might not turn out finger lickin’ good.

 

In international news the man who played the UK Queen’s stunt double in the famous Olympics opening video when she appeared to jump out of a plane, was jailed.

 

 

Gary Connery - no relation to another James Bond - was banged up for 18 months for pushing his girlfriend down the stairs.

 

 

Elon Musk joked that he was buying Manchester United. He could certainly afford to with Forbes rating his fortune at $223 billion and Utd valued at a paltry $3.8 billion.

 

Why anyone would want to is another matter. Meanwhile, Ronaldo continued to keep fans guessing about his future after the club lost both their opening fixtures. 

 

 

In Australia, scientists said they are just ten years away from being able to clone and return the extinct animal commonly known as the Tasmanian Tiger. The last Thylacine died in 1936. Critics said the “Jurassic Park” style idea was just a funding stunt. 

 

 

In Japan the tax authorities - worried by a drop in revenue - started a campaign to get the young to drink more booze and sake. “Kanpai!” went the BBC headline.

 

Back in Thailand there was an interesting story about a woman who received some very poor service from a car dealership who scratched her car then trashed it in an accident. 

 

 

Intelligent and frequent poster “Worgeordie” made a very sensible comment that the woman should seek help from executives in Japan.

 

No names were mentioned of course but I can put in a good word for Honda. Years ago I put my Prelude in for a service and as I was on my way to Samet rather foolishly left a case in the boot with many important documents. 

 

When I came back to get my car the case was gone along with the CD changer. The case was later found ditched at the back of the service center, with all documents, while the CD changer was stolen by a security man who was sacked. 

 

Honda went to my school with cash to pay me almost everything I asked for! I never even used the CD changer (I’m not a music lover) - it came with the second hand vehicle!

 

Result!

 

In Phuket the drunk cop who shot a noodle vendor and left him in a wheelchair was given 25 years. A good sentence.

 

Driving on Rama 2 road - a total mess for many years due to expressway construction - continued to be a total gamble. Following deaths at a U-turn bridge and the dumping of tons of water on a woman’s Fiesta came news about yet another accident in which a metal strip went through a “Safety First” sign. Oh the irony!

 

 

A grim accident in Nonthaburi claimed the life of a delivery guy who slammed into a bus. It was caused by an old person crossing the road under a pedestrian bridge. 

 

Last Sunday I came within a whisker of dispatching an aging monk who was crossing Phahonyothin within yards of a similar bridge. I’m glad I have the best part of a million kilometers on the roads under my belt or I could have made the news myself. 

 

The gamble that is life in Thailand came off for Mrs Rooster who had her third lottery win of the year. Three tix ending in 42 did the trick. Not just the 6,000 baht but “sabai jai” went through the roof because the tickets were bought while making merit at a temple for her mother who died a few months back. 

 

All the AN stories about mystical numbers appearing were, surprise surprise, wide of the mark. 

 

Sad stories of neglect and abuse this week from the north east featured horrendous assault by a 21 year old stepfather (I use the term loosely) who killed one kid and left another in grievous condition. A second story was about an octogenarian gran who claimed her 57 year old son starved her hoping to get his hands on her house and land.

 

 

Karma intervened in the latter after the son died first. 

 

In lighter news an amusing video worth watching featured the chase and eventual capture of a deer that had escaped from a temple and held up the traffic. 

 

Then on Friday came an “Amazing Thailand” story about a former monk turned ladyboy celebrity who answered critics who wondered about how “Ms. Perry” had managed to pay 3.6 million baht in cash for a BMW.

 

 

Hard work was how!

 

Rooster couldn’t resist saying that the monk had worn a frock after his defrocking. 

 

Finally, the Bangkok governor Chadchart is having a crackdown on illegal parking in the capital and is trying to introduce an ITMS - the media called this an “Intelligence Traffic Management System”. 

An even worse English translation followed. 

 

The study into illegal parking areas was referred to as “Traffy Fondue”.

 

Melted cheese or chocolate anyone?

 

Rooster

 

 

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[chalawaan]

Be careful what you wish for!

 

The installation of PM Apirat, for instance, will be like Mr. MacKay replacing Mr. Barraclough in the wonderful "Porridge" sitcom.

"Feet won't touch the ground, Fletcher! Lives will be made a misery!"

 

Indeed!

 

PS: Big Joke is NO FRIEND of farangs. He was behind moving the goalposts on the B800,000 annual retirement deposit finagle that "stole" B400,000 off everyone and forces an account top-up closer to a million very year with the modified "seasoning" rules.

 

And the visa runs, there's something else he ushered in that is a PITA but I can't recall it for the minute. (just remembered! Not amending the law in view of embassies no longer issuing pension letters, that drove some very elderly long time residents out. Totally inhumane, no one has ever raised it!)

 

There's also a Police/Army rivalry that would never, ever allow a cop to be PM again, even though "Tony" winged it in a kinder gentler Thailand. 

 

[dyertribe]

1 hour ago, webfact said:

A grim accident in Nonthaburi claimed the life of a delivery guy who slammed into a bus. It was caused by an old person crossing the road under a pedestrian bridge. 

 

Last Sunday I came within a whisker of dispatching an aging monk who was crossing Phahonyothin within yards of a similar bridge. I’m glad I have the best part of a million kilometers on the roads under my belt or I could have made the news myself. 

Those senior folk with aging knees and hips can not manage the stairs in many cases.  I don't know what the best answer is ... certainly lifts or elevators would be way to expensive.

[bradiston]

Outstanding!

[MyFriend You]

When the men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom, and your mind is moving low

Psilosybin makes the world a quieter place, or would put someone with a deep down psychologhical condition on the warpath, either way, I'm game.   Good one this week Rooster, lot's of things to ponder - but Big Joke as PM???  Fagetabouit!!    He may be handsome, but is no diplomat...................Peace

 

[allanos]

Today, following a rush of blood to the (big) head, I abandoned a

long-standing rule and scrolled through the drivel written by the

self-promoting, self-described "journalist" calling himself rooster.

 

Fatuous nonsense would be my best description of the the diatribe

du jour.

 

No more!

 

 

[AussieinThaiJim]

Wonderful piece!

 

I too am sick of repetitive adds for removal! Moving to or from Pattaya/Thailand? We can help! Click below!

Constantly on Pattaya News!

[IamNoone88]

,17 years ago a very wise Thai businessman told me not to depend upon the Gov't for support. In fact, he told that as business people we must nagivate through each challenge or crisis ourselves. How true that advice has been over the years. So, I avoid politics and focus on what I can control. Complaining does no good. Get on with what have.

[Freed1948]

7 hours ago, dyertribe said:

Those senior folk with aging knees and hips can not manage the stairs in many cases.  I don't know what the best answer is ... certainly lifts or elevators would be way to expensive.

Than somebodies life??

 

[Lacessit]

Loved the crack about Thai insomnia, Rooster. Spot on, Thais can sleep on a tiled floor with a TV on maximum volume.

[Reigntax]

4 hours ago, allanos said:

Today, following a rush of blood to the (big) head, I abandoned a

long-standing rule and scrolled through the drivel written by the

self-promoting, self-described "journalist" calling himself rooster.

 

Fatuous nonsense would be my best description of the the diatribe

du jour.

 

No more!

 

 

I think you’re stuttering!

[Stargeezr]

Another great article Rooster, and keep those pictures coming, they are a nice addition.

Good luck in maybe getting a real democratic party in after the next election.

These military people sure like their power, and coups. After all, look at how many years

Thailand has had military generals running the country with the permission of the

powerful people in the country.

 

[hotchilli]

19 hours ago, webfact said:

Prayut - our father who art still in khaki, hollow be thy name - is as past his sell-by date as last week’s som tam left out of the fridge. 

Ouchhhhh.

[BostonRob2]

Thanks to the many readers who commented positively and enjoyed this week's column. To the reader who called me "fatuous" I'll have you know I've lost a lot of weight recently.

 

Rooster 

[ezzra]

21 hours ago, webfact said:

This week the belligerent bully who seized power in a coup in 2014 and is grimly trying to hold onto it,

Don't blame him alone, in most other civilised countries he'd be removed long time ago but not in Thailand, most of the blame should be put on the shoulders of those who let him be up there unimpeded and uninterrupted owning to their own agendas because i have seen the Thai people deseating and dethroning high ranking officials in a blink of an eye if they wish to...

[johnarth]

a good read I am amazed that it was allowed on Thaivisa without all the email addresses

[ChrisKC]

The gamble that is life in Thailand came off for Mrs Rooster who had her third lottery win of the year. Three tix ending in 42 did the trick. Not just the 6,000 baht but “sabai jai” went through the roof because the tickets were bought while making merit at a temple for her mother who died a few months back. 

 

All the AN stories about mystical numbers appearing were, surprise surprise, wide of the mark. 

 

My wife was 50 % as lucky as Mrs Rooster, winning B3,000; posted this result on Facebook, to receive several request from friends later, "where did you get the numbers from"?

 

Her sister was also a 50 per-center, having won B10,000 this week but received only B5,000 as she had to agree earlier with the Lottery Vendor; "if you win, you only get half! Who gets the other half, I asked - "don't know" was the reply.

 

Every Lottery number is a different product and I have personal experience of where one number I chose cost more because it was a lucky one!

 

I am left with a smile that says simply, "ugh"

[Rimmer]

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