No.

90% no love

 

 

1 hour ago, Sparktrader said:

90% no love

 

 

Then who deserves the 10%?

1 minute ago, garrya said:

Then who deserves the 10%?

I got it

22 hours ago, pgrahmm said:

After arriving from the west you want to/feel like you want to fall in love with most of these exotic creatures with their feminine, wily ways.....

It's hard to not fall like a ton of bricks....Note; the last 30+ years have only been with Asian women, all the "ai's" "ese's" & "ina's" buffet you'd ever want in country & in the US.... A lot of fun sampling and observations along the way....

After having years of fun exploring & sampling - I found my wife....

At the end of the first month I was asking myself, how could anyone NOT fall in love with this lady.....

No red flags, no pretenses, no phony ways....All real, honest, & deadly down to earth..... That's when I knew I was in deep....

Many years later, it's still the same....And - I'm thanking my lucky stars - every day....

 

 

Nice to read this. Shows me I'm not alone with my oppinion, there is the person somewhere, even it'snot easy to find a soulmate.

I have so many friends, who come here, and from the very start, make the same mistakes they made back in the West. Except here, they do not need to make those mistakes. The environment does not dictate that they behave like lambs. Many do not know, or realize that, or they succumb to "force of habit". Every ship needs a captain. If the man is not willing to be the captain of the ship, the woman will take over, here in Thailand. Most women here seem to want a strong man. But, if they end up with a wimp, they will take over. They have to. Someone needs to be the captain!

 

Nothing wrong with taking care of a good woman. I really like doing so. Mine really deserves the care and support she gets. But, she does bring alot to the table. She works, she is smart, funny, sexy, beautiful, quite a bit younger than me (my preference, by a long shot) and very supportive of me. I could not ask for a better woman, and there is no way I could find a gal like her in the West. Never happen. 

 

But, we dated for awhile before living together, and we lived together for many years before getting married. Something that many guys do not seem to understand, is that time allows clarity. Never, ever move too quickly. That is the undoing of most guys. Do not get hung up on them, emotionally. Have some fun. Get to know them. This is not the west. Just because she is sexy, so what? She is just one fish in a huge ocean of possibilities here.

 

Always remember, if it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are problems, they will reveal themselves over time. Time is your ally. It is rarely their ally. They are usually trying to step up the timetable. We need to push back. We need to assert control. We need to be honest, and let them know we are not interested in an immediate relationship. Something might develop, but if you are in a hurry, I am NOT YOUR GUY. An environment like this allows us to set boundaries, and take our time. Take advantage of that. Be a man. Step up. Pay tribute to the gender. Refuse to lay down anymore. Refuse to be a doormat. Refuse to check your cajones at the door. 

 

22 hours ago, CharlieH said:

Used to fall in lust, for a short time. No such thing as "love" its just a bad habit and you get used to someone and they get used to you and  it becomes "comfortable"  thats all. ????

 

Not dissimilar to my thoughts on this CharlieH, although I would move on when I got used to somebody and when the "magic" disappeared, I would prefer to be alone.

 

Quite a few years ago now when I first came here I calculated that I've had over 350 girlfriends in the UK and NZ, and although I was married for under three years, I was probably only in love for the first few months, and the rest of it was misery.

 

I did have a "steady girlfriend" in NZ and my idea of bliss was that we would meet up two or three times a week for a night on the town, or a dinner party at my house, or an outing with friends, and that was all I needed from a relationship, and she was happy with that as well, being an independent person.

 

Independence has been by "watchword" for the best part of my life and although I was in a relationship here for five years, and that was the longest one I've ever been in, that had faded two years in and it just dragged on after that.

 

I often look back upon my life and at all of the girlfriends I've had and how many of them have been for only a few months at a time, and I wondered why I was like that, because I really don't need a steady girlfriend or wife, and now that I've moved to Thailand, there's even less reason to have one.

 

I remember hearing these words from a George Benson song and thought how I related to it.............

 

I decided long ago
Never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all
 

9 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

Be a man. Step up. Pay tribute to the gender. Refuse to lay down anymore. Refuse to be a doormat. Refuse to check your cajones at the door. 

I 100% reject your opinion that treating a woman as an equal is not a good idea.

Notice I say "equal" not superior or inferior.

My father treated my mother as an inferior and regretted it.

Perhaps it's hard to find a woman that can accept being equal, but that's life.

 

IMO if a man wants to dominate a woman, rent, don't commit. Then when she gets tired of the domineering man she can just move on to hopefully find better.

9 hours ago, xylophone said:

I often look back upon my life and at all of the girlfriends I've had and how many of them have been for only a few months at a time,

For love or money? ( money can be presents, dinners, movies, goods or services, not just cash ).

My opinion of women is that whatever they may say, most are actually after a male provider to give them a "nest" to bring up children in.

On 10/17/2022 at 4:23 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

"Do you fall in love with women?"

 

No, I only fall in love with pretty cute girls.

Sometimes for an hour or two and sometimes for a decade and more.

Sounds fair to me.

I fell in twice yesterday.????????

 

Women are very nice, but they're not like the real thing are they.

3 hours ago, Lucky Bones said:

Sounds fair to me.

I fell in twice yesterday.????????

 

What happened? Couldn't you afford the first one and then you found an alternative?

Or are you still strong and can handle two of them in one day?

4 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I 100% reject your opinion that treating a woman as an equal is not a good idea.

Notice I say "equal" not superior or inferior.

My father treated my mother as an inferior and regretted it.

Perhaps it's hard to find a woman that can accept being equal, but that's life.

 

IMO if a man wants to dominate a woman, rent, don't commit. Then when she gets tired of the domineering man she can just move on to hopefully find better.

I think a man can treat woman as a equal, with a great deal of kindness and respect, and still maintain his standards, and be willing to walk away, if at any point that she demonstrates she is not worthy of his devotion. And most importantly, take his time.

 

One thing has nothing to do with the other.

54 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

I think a man can treat woman as a equal,

If you're a weak or stupid man, it'll obviously be easier to find a woman who is an equal.

But she probably wouldn't want such a man.

1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

I think a man can treat woman as a equal, with a great deal of kindness and respect, and still maintain his standards, and be willing to walk away, if at any point that she demonstrates she is not worthy of his devotion. And most importantly, take his time.

 

One thing has nothing to do with the other.

In the post I replied to you didn't come across as an equal person. IMO you came across as an "I'm the boss" sort of person where women are concerned.

You are of course within your rights to be like that with a female, if you have one that accepts it. After my experience of female partners I'm not a fan of long term relationships anyway, and wish I'd never been so stupid as to think a relationship was a good idea.

However, when I was with them I did treat them as equals.

56 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

If you're a weak or stupid man, it'll obviously be easier to find a woman who is an equal.

But she probably wouldn't want such a man.

Sadly I have to agree.

15 hours ago, xylophone said:

Quite a few years ago now when I first came here I calculated that I've had over 350 girlfriends in the UK and NZ,

You must have the "it" factor to be able to have a sexual relationship with so many women. Despite working with thousands of females over my decades as a nurse, I never found anything like that number that would have been interested in having a long term relationship with me. So few in fact that I can still remember each one. Certainly I never was able to get to a live in stage with more than a few.

Perhaps because I was a nurse and didn't earn the big bucks to be attractive enough.

19 hours ago, ThaiAl said:

Nice to read this. Shows me I'm not alone with my oppinion, there is the person somewhere, even it'snot easy to find a soulmate.

I've met a soulmate at least twice in my life, but both were already married.

21 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

In the post I replied to you didn't come across as an equal person. IMO you came across as an "I'm the boss" sort of person where women are concerned.

You are of course within your rights to be like that with a female, if you have one that accepts it. After my experience of female partners I'm not a fan of long term relationships anyway, and wish I'd never been so stupid as to think a relationship was a good idea.

However, when I was with them I did treat them as equals.

You've missed the thread where SM admits to 'investing' his(?) money in 'her land' and 4,000 mango trees.

 

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

If you're a weak or stupid man, it'll obviously be easier to find a woman who is an equal.

But she probably wouldn't want such a man.

There is other than equal a billionaire lady I know married a bus driver, lucky him. ????

14 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

There is other than equal a billionaire lady I know married a bus driver, lucky him. ????

Might be that she doesn't like men that think money is everything, and that they are special, or perhaps size really does matter and the bus driver is a really big guy.

3 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

What happened? Couldn't you afford the first one and then you found an alternative?

Or are you still strong and can handle two of them in one day?

Nope, I easily fall in love every day walking down my soi.

I don't need to bed them all.

 

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Might be that she doesn't like men that think money is everything, and that they are special, or perhaps size really does matter and the bus driver is a really big guy.

Maybe he's a violent thug/drug dealer/murderer ................. women seem to like them.

1 minute ago, Lucky Bones said:

Nope, I easily fall in love every day walking down my soi.

I don't need to bed them all.

 

True love isn't about sex, though sex is better with someone that you love.

Woman and guys are wired differently.

 

Years ago it would have been quite commonplace to see a man dragging a lady by the hair, off to the nearest cave. After the deed he would sleep. She would chase out any vermin and generally tidy up. The new lady of the cave would prepare some food, but it needed cooking. So when our cave man woke up he had to light the fire. They eat, he looks around and thinks that it's not a bad place to stay for a while. She looks at his muscles and thinks he would protect her.

 

Both sexes have their talents. We should respect that. Modern man spends his spare time in the garden shen. The lady likes the kitchen.

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

True love isn't about sex, though sex is better with someone that you love.

I've never found that to be true.

Unless you're talking about sex with yourself!

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

Maybe he's a violent thug/drug dealer/murderer ................. women seem to like them.

Quite right. I've noticed that scumbags have no problem pulling attractive females.

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

Quite right. I've noticed that scumbags have no problem pulling attractive females.

Women are friends with gentlemen but sleep with cads (Louis L'Amour, The Walking Drum)

Just now, BritManToo said:

I've never found that to be true.

Unless you're talking about sex with yourself!

I'm sorry that you never had sex with someone you loved deeply then. I only had it with one person in my life, and it only lasted a year, but while it lasted it was wonderful.

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

Women are friends with gentlemen but sleep with cads (Louis L'Amour, The Walking Drum)

Nice guys get washed away ( anon ).