My husband of 48 years keeps disappearing to Thailand and sending hundreds of pounds there every month - but when I question him he says it's 'none of my business'

[Derek B]

On 2/23/2023 at 8:45 AM, kcpattaya said:

Assuming this is her....
I would never come back.

That is the TV Agony Aunt 

[HuskerDo2]

10 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

I suppose if it was a loveless, ceremonial type marriage, at that age, yes absolutely. 

Sad. No reason to stay together then would there be.

[BritManToo]

16 minutes ago, HuskerDo2 said:

Sad. No reason to stay together then would there be.

Two pensions go a lot further in one house.

Think of it as a house share.

 

I always liked the old West German divorce laws.

A communist official would enter the home/apartment and draw a line down the middle of the living area ........ this is your half, and that is her half. They didn't have enough resources to provide single homes for everyone. 

 

An example those in the west should follow.

We don't have enough housing for everyone to live alone, make everyone share.

Living alone is just selfish and wasteful!

[AdrianUk]

Every red blooded male that has money will cheat!  she should turn a blind eye and be pleased hes still a man

[JCauto]

13 hours ago, HuskerDo2 said:

"No wonder you came here looking for other female companionship"...... where did I ever say that? 

You didn't. That was an inference alluding to the original article. Apologies, as you've acknowledged implicitly that the rest of your post was nonsense.

[2009]

12 hours ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

No I don't think that you can have sex against a woman's will, just because you are married to them .

   You cannot legally rape a woman just because you have a bit of paper from a church with both your names on it 

Who said that?

 

You seem to be deliberately missing my point.

 

Aren't married couples supposed to have a sex life? That's what I am saying.

 

Unless, they both would rather celibacy, then fair enough.

 

I understand there are some women who are not interested in having sex with their partner, but marry anyway (or stay married) for other reasons or agenda.

 

And if his needs aren't being met, why shouldn't he go to Thailand? Marriage isn't a prison either.

[2009]

7 hours ago, kwilco said:

OMG! You're an incel!

This is the way it is nowadays.

 

The progressive (ironically) don't accept freedom of speech. 

 

They have an arsenal of names ready to silence people with: incel, misogynist, homophobic, racist, supremacist etc. etc.

 

How about just letting the man talk about marriage issues (which is not off topic) without hurling insults on his character?

[kwilco]

2 hours ago, 2009 said:

This is the way it is nowadays.

 

The progressive (ironically) don't accept freedom of speech. 

 

They have an arsenal of names ready to silence people with: incel, misogynist, homophobic, racist, supremacist etc. etc.

 

How about just letting the man talk about marriage issues (which is not off topic) without hurling insults on his character?

he is the one insulting ALL women

[kwilco]

9 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Nah, I don't qualify as an incel as not young and I have no problem with sexually active men, though I am jealous.

so pretty much an incel then.....

[2009]

1 hour ago, kwilco said:

he is the one insulting ALL women

How? ????

 

 

[kwilco]

24 minutes ago, 2009 said:

How? ????

 

 

I think the fact that you have to sk says a lot more about you than anything else - read the original post he made.

 

 

"Given the number of men that have had their lives destroyed by wives, are we supposed to sympathise with her?"

[xylophone]

On 2/23/2023 at 11:25 AM, NoshowJones said:

So all these fat bellied, shirtless, tattooed, facial haired dreadful examples of humanity walking about Pattaya are hansum men??

Sarcasm missed completely!!

[2009]

32 minutes ago, kwilco said:

I think the fact that you have to sk says a lot more about you than anything else - read the original post he made.

 

 

"Given the number of men that have had their lives destroyed by wives, are we supposed to sympathise with her?"

Hey, there's two sides to every story.

 

Women ain't the angels we have been told.

 

I find it hard to believe he got married just so he would end up flying to Thailand to "cheat" on his wife.

 

There's more to this story.

 

Maybe if the legal system wasn't so sexist he'd divorce her and be treated fairly.

 

 

[Mac Mickmanus]

5 minutes ago, 2009 said:

Hey, there's two sides to every story.

 

Women ain't the angels we have been told.

 

I find it hard to believe he got married just so he would end up flying to Thailand to "cheat" on his wife.

 

There's more to this story.

 

Maybe if the legal system wasn't so sexist he'd divorce her and be treated fairly.

 

 

He doesn't need to go to Thailand for prostitution though , there are plenty of prostitutes available in the U.K and other females willing to have sex freely .

   There is also the option of not having sex 

[scubascuba3]

Just now, Mac Mickmanus said:

He doesn't need to go to Thailand for prostitution though , there are plenty of prostitutes available in the U.K and other females willing to have sex freely .

   There is also the option of not having sex 

You don't want a younger thai lady? most men do

[Mac Mickmanus]

4 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

You don't want a younger thai lady? most men do

Well , "most" men don't want a younger Thai lady , what is so special about "Thai" ladies anyway ? 

   My first preference in Females is their ability to provide for themselves , and where they come from would be way down on the list , as would their age .

  Like, I would prefer having a rich Japanese woman my own age , rather than having a young poor Thai woman  

[scubascuba3]

2 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

Well , "most" men don't want a younger Thai lady , what is so special about "Thai" ladies anyway ? 

   My first preference in Females is their ability to provide for themselves , and where they come from would be way down on the list , as would their age .

  Like, I would prefer having a rich Japanese woman my own age , rather than having a young poor Thai woman  

but you realise this is the thai forum? which is where you seem to post

[xylophone]

On 2/23/2023 at 12:29 PM, Hugh Jarse said:

Good luck to the guy. Life is too short to be miserable all the time.

Great thread by the way.

Lots of interesting comments, taking both sides in this thread, and I can only recount the story of my poor old dad and relate it to this situation.......... 

 

In his 50s, my mum made his life very, very miserable, and as I recall he probably hadn't got his leg over in years, and she nagged him incessantly, and it got to a point when at the breakfast table when we would all get up at around 6 AM before going to our respective jobs where the situation became unbearable for me, let alone him.

 

She would constantly nag him, whilst he would sit there saying nothing, and she would call him f......g useless, asking why he got up so early, and why he had a boiled egg every day, just the same as always, and, and, and.........the nagging just went on as did the swearing at him.

 

All of this time she would occasionally travel up north, ostensibly to see her "relatives" but in reality to catch up with a "boyfriend" of which she had a few whilst she was married.

 

The next day after she left I spoke with dad at breakfast and asked him why he put up with it, and he said, "she's always been like that", to which I replied "then it's about time you left", and the next time she leaves to go up north, you pack your bags and you go......and he did just that, leaving our old dilapidated council house with nothing but an old suitcase and an army demob greatcoat, which unfortunately used to serve as a cover on my bed when it got cold!

 

He eventually settled down and married a woman he had met on the coach on the way to watching football and he was happy for the remainder of his life, although even then my mum pursued him through the courts for what was a pittance of "maintenance money", because she said that he had been a <deleted> for leaving her, when I saw both sides of the story and I totally supported his decision.

 

His life was a misery up until then, however unfortunately just a few years later he succumbed to cancer although I do believe he was happy in his remaining years and much happier than he would have been staying with my mum.

 

I didn't tell my mum that I had attended his funeral, because she would have thrown a fit of rage, because she was so angry that he had decided to leave her – – inexplicable, this especially because of terrible quality of the life he was living with her, which wasn't life at all, it was barely existing.

 

So maybe there is an outlet for guys like him, although he was far too poor to even afford the train fare to anywhere, let alone an airfare to Thailand.
 

[Andrew65]

On 2/23/2023 at 5:26 AM, SpanishExpat said:

I’m still in my 30s, but have known lots of older farang here during my years in Thailand telling me they “love it here, as women are much more caring and have a higher Sex drive compared to their women at home”. 
 

thats no excuse for sure and that guy should have simply divorced, but it’s definitely a reason why so many older guys like Thailand and get here what they are missing at home. 

One thing in Thailand is that women's-lib is yet to arrive there as it did in the West about 50 years ago. I'll give an example of what I mean. I remember my old (very wealthy) Swedish friend talking about his Thai live-in girlfriend. He said that she would get up every morning to make his breakfast "A Swedish lady would never do that".

Thai ladies haven't spent their entire lives being indoctinated with the idea that they should be just like men. IMHO, many Thai ladies have a femininity that is hard to find in Western ladies nowadays, many of whom seem to be out to bust the balls (mainly financially) of any man who's unfortunate enought to get involved with them.

[Mac Mickmanus]

5 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

but you realise this is the thai forum? which is where you seem to post

Well, it is actually an ASEAN forum, rather than  just a Thai forum and its also not a forum to find Thai females , there's more to Thailand than just females , Females can be found in every Country 

[Cricky]

12 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

Well , "most" men don't want a younger Thai lady , what is so special about "Thai" ladies anyway ? 

   My first preference in Females is their ability to provide for themselves , and where they come from would be way down on the list , as would their age .

  Like, I would prefer having a rich Japanese woman my own age , rather than having a young poor Thai woman  

I reckon you're on your own with this comment. 

 

[scubascuba3]

Just now, Mac Mickmanus said:

Well, it is actually an ASEAN forum, rather than  just a Thai forum and its also not a forum to find Thai females , there's more to Thailand than just females , Females can be found in every Country 

This general section is under Thailand but you don't seem to like Thailand or the ladies, just strange you post

[Mac Mickmanus]

8 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

This general section is under Thailand but you don't seem to like Thailand or the ladies, just strange you post

What gives you that impression .

Thailand is OK, not as good as it used to be and Thai ladies are just females , there are females in every Country .

   Man who are sex addicts often choose Thailand to live in because of the availability of prostitution 

[scubascuba3]

Just now, Mac Mickmanus said:

What gives you that impression .

Thailand is OK, not as good as it used to be and Thai ladies are just females , there are females in every Country .

   Man who are sex addicts often choose Thailand to live in because of the availability of prostitution 

do you live in Thailand? why do you come here? what do you do?

[connda]

23 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And how many 70 year old women dream about getting f@%$@ by some guy?

Then why complain about your elderly spouse getting his rocks off if you have no interested any longer in "getting f@%$@ by some guy?"

Perhaps we have discovered why sexually active men take tours without their sexually inactive wives?

 

[Mac Mickmanus]

4 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

do you live in Thailand? why do you come here? what do you do?

No I don't live in Thailand , I used to go to Thailand because it was cheap and hot and different , these days its expensive , the heat is an annoyance and its not much different to the UK , well, not as different as it used to be 

[2009]

1 hour ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

He doesn't need to go to Thailand for prostitution though , there are plenty of prostitutes available in the U.K and other females willing to have sex freely .

   There is also the option of not having sex 

His choice. ???? 

 

Why would you be bothered?

 

 

[kwilco]

1 hour ago, 2009 said:

Hey, there's two sides to every story.

 

Women ain't the angels we have been told.

 

I find it hard to believe he got married just so he would end up flying to Thailand to "cheat" on his wife.

 

There's more to this story.

 

Maybe if the legal system wasn't so sexist he'd divorce her and be treated fairly.

 

 

You are arguing like a 7 year old... You're making up littl stories to try and back out of what is clearly a misogynist comment.

[Mac Mickmanus]

1 minute ago, 2009 said:

His choice. ???? 

 

Why would you be bothered?

 

 

What makes you think that I am bothered ?

[Mac Mickmanus]

1 hour ago, Cricky said:

I reckon you're on your own with this comment. 

 

You may get that impression of you are surrounded by Western guys who moved to Thailand for  younger females , but in the big scheme of things those guys are in a  tiny minority .