Smiling at people

[save the frogs]

1 hour ago, Yellowtail said:

And no real smiles, how is it better? 

 

It's like every person you see gives you a dollar. Half of them are fake, and half are real. Would it be better to get none? 

 

 

In an ideal world, everyone would always smile at each other and the smiles would be genuine.

 

Smiling at people you don't know can sometimes have the perverse effect that an unscrupulous person sees it as a sign of weakness. You're letting your guard down. 

 

Or percieves it as "you want to be friends" when you don't. 

 

I have no expectations that people should be smiling all the time. 

 

 

Edited August 2, 2023 by save the frogs

[bignok]

5 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

In an ideal world, everyone would always smile at each other and the smiles would be genuine.

 

Smiling at people you don't know can sometimes have the perverse effect that an unscrupulous person sees it as a sign of weakness. You're letting your guard down. 

 

Or percieves it as "you want to be friends" when you don't. 

 

I have no expectations that people should be smiling all the time. 

 

 

Biden smiles a lot. Joe Rogan smiles a lot.

[Yellowtail]

38 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

In an ideal world, everyone would always smile at each other and the smiles would be genuine.

 

Smiling at people you don't know can sometimes have the perverse effect that an unscrupulous person sees it as a sign of weakness. You're letting your guard down. 

 

Or percieves it as "you want to be friends" when you don't. 

 

I have no expectations that people should be smiling all the time. 

 

 

I've never expected people to smile all the time, but you've (apparently) claimed it's better that no one ever smiles in public, that seems like a sad world to me. 

 

I could give a F*** less that some toe-rag thinks me smiling is a sign of weakness. 

 

I generally do want to be friends; I've never had too many. 

[richard_smith237]

17 hours ago, bignok said:

It's a different world.

Especially when one makes strange sweeping generalisations !!!! 

[JensenZ]

7 hours ago, save the frogs said:

that was my point too.

if you go around smiling at everyone, then you will need to shake people off.

it's better to go around looking mean & miserable so people won't bother you. 

 

I'm also in the "don't smile at everyone" camp. It's best to maintain neutral facial expressions in public, just as most Thais do. That doesn't mean you have to look unhappy, angry or drepressed.

 

Here's the one I'm referring to: ???? ???? ????

[swm59nj]

I lived in. Bangkok for three years.  Not many people smile.  But some do.  
I live back in the West now.  Not many smile .  Some do. 
I have visited 21 different countries in my life.  People normally just don’t go around smiling at each other.  

[NorthernRyland]

21 hours ago, bignok said:

If you smile at people in Thailand they think you are friendly. In the west they think you are creepy if at woman and gay if at man. The west isnt a friendly place anymore.

 

I'm in Colorado now. Everyone smiles and greets each other in public. Much more friendly than the people in Chiang Mai where I live. Not that Thai people are not friendly but they're withdrawn in public compared to Americans.

[Bundooman]

21 hours ago, save the frogs said:

the downside of smiling is you need to guess if the smile is authentic or fake.

 

so there is an upside to a society where no one smiles. 

 

 

A smile is a smile, regardless of authenticity of otherwise.

Why make a problem with the most natural facial expression.

Just smile back.

[glegolo18]

22 hours ago, bignok said:

On Lanta I saw lots of Russians. All the older ones no smiles. They looked miserable.

 

 

These guys have never smiled in their miserable lifes...

[1FinickyOne]

23 hours ago, save the frogs said:

the downside of smiling is you need to guess if the smile is authentic or fake.

 

so there is an upside to a society where no one smiles. 

 

 

It is just a smile - it mostly doesn't mean more than a way to say hello... can it mean more, sure. But it helps if you understand that there are many different smiles w/different meanings... 

 

One day in Bkk I was walking down the street and a young lady, too young for me, was approaching and I gave her a 'you look great smile' - I was not coming on to her. = she was flattered and returned a 'coy, thank you for noticing me' smile. 

 

I walk around smiling at people all day - they appreciate it and smile back... it's a pleasant way to live. 

 

So Froggy, the smile is what it is, maybe you need to use or develop your perceptions... 

[1FinickyOne]

Yo, Big Heavy - you must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss, a smile is just a smile...

 

It, in its many varied meanings, makes life more pleasant here. 

[1FinickyOne]

10 hours ago, Yellowtail said:

That makes no sense. What is the upside? 

The upside is that it makes others feel good, thereby making you feel good too... 

[bignok]

11 hours ago, Neeranam said:

Remember there are 13 smiles in Thailand, and each has a name.

Noi, Nid, Nat, Gop, Goong, Tan, Toy, Bee...

[sirineou]

3 minutes ago, bignok said:

Noi, Nid, Nat, Gop, Goong, Tan, Toy, Bee...

I believe  its pronounced Noigopnatgoongtantoybe .

[Neeranam]

Once I smiled for 3 days and the consequences were amazing, everyone looked happy and smiled back. 

The reason, I had shaken the hand of the Dalai Lama, who smiles all the time. 

Smiling us infectious. 

If you don't smile, you have an ego affliction, get it fixed. 

[bignok]

12 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

No your right , I find the young Thai female doesn't smile back as much now ,I guess it's a different generation so they may think we are old pervs 

Perving is good.

[bignok]

9 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

Once I smiled for 3 days and the consequences were amazing, everyone looked happy and smiled back. 

The reason, I had shaken the hand of the Dalai Lama, who smiles all the time. 

Smiling us infectious. 

If you don't smile, you have an ego affliction, get it fixed. 

Non stop?

[save the frogs]

14 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

If you don't smile, you have an ego affliction, get it fixed. 

ok i'll work on it. thanks.

good point about dalai lama.

but he never had to worry about the same problems as most normal folks.

he's basically born into royalty. 

[save the frogs]

1 hour ago, 1FinickyOne said:

I walk around smiling at people all day - they appreciate it and smile back... it's a pleasant way to live. 

yes, you are right.

that's the best way to live. 

what a messed up world if no one is ever smiling.

 

[bignok]

2 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

yes, you are right.

that's the best way to live. 

what a messed up world if no one is ever smiling.

 

Try smiling whilst driving.

[fredwiggy]

13 hours ago, novacova said:

It’s a good thing to smile and politely greet people that we have any kind of interaction with, venders, police and neighbors. Positive interactions with strangers is paramount for a healthy mind. Typically those who isolate themselves are generally uncomfortable in their own skin. I greet smile and hello to Thai strangers every day and it is always reciprocated. A good 95% of the westerners I say hi to and smile at are stuck-up stone faced nobs that look like they’re unhappy and don’t like people, they look totally out of place considering the north culture and some put off a deliberate antisocial vibe. Not anything like my home in the US where people are generally friendly and always reciprocate a hello. Though the responsive friendly folks I’ve ran into here are like an oasis and I’ve met some great westerners that live here, but they’re very few and far between, at least with my experience here in the north.

Best answer and the most true. Lived in US 62 years until 5 years ago, and when I smiled at people coming my way, (usually), they usually returned with a smile. Here it's like many foreigners are hiding from something and don't want to make contact. The friends I have here I've either met in a gym, were introduced by other friends, or a store, and reciprocated when I tried starting a conversation. One farang started talking to me and his wife immediately dragged him away, giving me a dirty look. Guess she didn't want him to have any friends who might tell him how things really are here, and what to be warned of. Thai's here return smiles about half the time, but you'll never know what they are thinking. As far as the nonsense about recognizing the supposed 13 smiles, you can't tell. People are all different, and what might look like a friendly smile, might hide hatred or prejudice, or it might be true. Depends on that person. Smiling to others here shows them you respect them, and that's never a bad idea, as it's hard enough living here with all the scams, prejudice, greed, dishonesty and jealousy, and wanting to make friends in a foreign country is always a good plan.

[1FinickyOne]

6 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

recognizing the supposed 13 smiles, you can't tell.

maybe you meant, "I" can't tell... you need to consider the situation, and the person and what is in their eyes. It requires a certain amount of perception, quite common amongst Thai and some farang can do it too... 

[1FinickyOne]

13 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

I guess it's a different generation so they may think we are old pervs 

Well, when you have a stated goal in life is to be 80 yrs old and pay teenagers to sleep with you, you can give off a really creepy vibe that others will pick up on... 

[JBChiangRai]

I think I have worked out why the older Russian guys don’t smile, have you seen their wives?

 

If you smile at someone in a British pub, expect to be asked “Who do you think you’re looking at?” Closely followed by a beer glass in the face.

[NorthernRyland]

2 hours ago, glegolo18 said:

These guys have never smiled in their miserable lifes...

There's a lot of Russians in a bad place right now. Maybe smile and try to be nice would be the right thing to do?

[bignok]

22 minutes ago, JBChiangRai said:

think I have worked out why the older Russian guys don’t smile, have you seen their wives?

Yes like beach balls with angry face

[NorthernRyland]

36 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Thai's here return smiles about half the time, but you'll never know what they are thinking.

I used to smile at Thai's often but I stopped after I realized it makes many of them uncomfortable. Once I started to pay more attention I realized Thai's simply don't greet and interact with each other much in public (my experience in CM/north only) and so it feels kine of invasive. 

 

One exception is with cycling where I always acknowledge other cyclists as a matter of habit and very rarely will a Thai not return a smile or a wave. In fact I feel like the rare non-Thai cyclist ignores me most of the time, so there's that.

 

Compare that to Colorado where people make conversation with staff and cashiers all the time. In Thailand very rarely do I see other Thai's making small talk with anyone in public unless they're trying to sell you something.

[bignok]

Just now, NorthernRyland said:

I used to smile at Thai's often but I stopped after I realized it makes many of them uncomfortable. Once I started to pay more attention I realized Thai's simply don't greet and interact with each other much in public (my experience in CM/north only) and so it feels kine of invasive. 

 

One exception is with cycling where I always acknowledge other cyclists as a matter of habit and very rarely will a Thai not return a smile or a wave. In fact I feel like the rare non-Thai cyclist ignores me most of the time, so there's that.

 

Compare that to Colorado where people make conversation with staff and cashiers all the time. In Thailand very rarely do I see other Thai's making small talk with anyone in public unless they're trying to sell you something.

I find Thais love it when you smile. 

[The Theory]

On 8/2/2023 at 7:59 AM, bignok said:

The west isnt a friendly place anymore.

It depends who you smile at. Ladies usually smile me back I've had never had any problem. Of course there are alway some unhappy ones. . 

[Scouse123]

Don't smile too much as it is the same here as in the West, they will think you are retarded!