Jomtien culture compared

[smallchungus]

I’ve heard to avoid Pattaya for finding long term relationships because of the bar girls and general sexpat culture of the city.  I have zero interest in anything related to this.  Is Jomtien going to also be a bad choice for finding a potential long term relationship/wife as well due to its proximity to Pattaya?  Would I be better off going to somewhere like Phuket or Hua Hin?  I don’t drink so bars in general aren’t going to be of any appeal.  My main interest in the general Pattaya area is the number of restaurants, quality hospitals, cost of living, and not getting obliterated by smoke season.

[scubascuba3]

those same girls who work sex are in other towns too. Girls aren't attracted to much older guys but if you pay them they are, payment can be short time and long time, motorbike,car, house, marriage etc

[smallchungus]

11 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

those same girls who work sex are in other towns too. Girls aren't attracted to much older guys but if you pay them they are, payment can be short time and long time, motorbike,car, house, marriage etc

I’m in my 30s and that situation is exactly what I want to avoid

[Doctor Tom]

It's not location that's the issue, it's how you are going about finding a relationship  that is potentially right for you.  Go on-line.  It may take you a while to find what you are looking for, but online is the way to try to find that person. Of course, even online, you need to be selective. Finally, don't dismiss all bar girls as unworthy of consideration, many are trustworthy girls', just trying to survive and improve their lot in a tough World.  They may not represent what you are wanting for a long term relationship, but even that has proved happy and successful for many a wandering expat. 

[Cardano]

51 minutes ago, smallchungus said:

I’ve heard to avoid Pattaya for finding long term relationships because of the bar girls and general sexpat culture of the city.  I have zero interest in anything related to this.  Is Jomtien going to also be a bad choice for finding a potential long term relationship/wife as well due to its proximity to Pattaya?  Would I be better off going to somewhere like Phuket or Hua Hin?  I don’t drink so bars in general aren’t going to be of any appeal.  My main interest in the general Pattaya area is the number of restaurants, quality hospitals, cost of living, and not getting obliterated by smoke season.

Nowhere is any different to any other place. only you can be the judge of any relationship you get in to, and only you can take the resposibility for the outcome.

[BigStar]

Plenty of girls in Pattaya who don't work in the sex trade. Of course you can meet one if you make some effort. Speaking Thai, though, helps critically. Learn to speak Thai if you haven't. The problem for you in Pattaya is that the Thais may regard you as one of the idiots they've either encountered or heard about. They'll question your sincerity, and understandably so.

 

Online can work, but you have to specify you're looking for someone with a respectable, normal job. BA degree a plus. Include nearby towns in your search--Sattahip, Rayong, Sriricha, Chonburi--and even Bangkok. You can manage a quasi-remote relationship with a Bangkok girl.

 

Most here are only familiar with bar and massage girls, so they pay. The long-term girlfriend I met in Pattaya works in an office, has a degree (now two degrees), and earns her own money, so I never pay her anything. We exchange gifts.

 

"Nice" girls aren't going to put up with any running around, however, so you'll have to play it straight and make a commitment. They're quite conventional.

 

[smallchungus]

1 minute ago, BigStar said:

Plenty of girls in Pattaya who don't work in the sex trade. Of course you can meet one if you make some effort. Speaking Thai, though, helps critically. Learn to speak Thai if you haven't. The problem for you in Pattaya is that the Thais may regard you as one of the idiots they've either encountered or heard about. They'll question your sincerity, and understandably so.

 

Online can work, but you have to specify you're looking for someone with a respectable, normal job. BA degree a plus. Include nearby towns in your search--Sattahip, Rayong, Sriricha, Chonburi--and even Bangkok. You can manage a quasi-remote relationship with a Bangkok girl.

 

Most here are only familiar with bar and massage girls, so they pay. The long-term girlfriend I met in Pattaya works in an office, has a degree (now two degrees), and earns her own money, so I never pay her anything. We exchange gifts.

 

"Nice" girls aren't going to put up with any running around, however, so you'll have to play it straight and make a commitment. They're quite conventional.

 

Conventional is exactly what I’m looking for.  I would only ever be with one girl at a time.  I’m very into monogamy.  If it is like this where the sex trade stuff is more of a minor part of the overall city, that makes me definitely want to check it out.  There seems to be so much there otherwise that I would really enjoy, and all within close range to Bangkok.  I think I will give Jomtien a go.  The high English ability there matters a lot to me since the person I will be potentially moving with is almost certainly not going to learn Thai.  I am going to go ahead and start working on it though.

[Pattaya57]

First off Jomtien is Pattaya and 2nd, when did this site become a how to dating site for non-drinking anti-bargirl types...please don't come to Pattaya if you think every girl in Pattaya is a bar girl 😆 

[georgegeorgia]

10 minutes ago, Pattaya57 said:

First off Jomtien is Pattaya and 2nd, when did this site become a how to dating site for non-drinking anti-bargirl types...please don't come to Pattaya if you think every girl in Pattaya is a bar girl 😆 

I guess where you live in the Nirun there would be a lot.

 

Must be noisy on weekend nights , oh well,those that didn't save their money during their working life I have nothing but empathy 😭

[Pattaya57]

30 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

I guess where you live in the Nirun there would be a lot.

 

Must be noisy on weekend nights , oh well,those that didn't save their money during their working life I have nothing but empathy 😭

What a troll. I own a very nice condo thank you and I saved enough money during my working life that I retired at 52

[PJ71]

Try Hat Yai.

[V8M8]

49 minutes ago, Pattaya57 said:

What a troll. I own a very nice condo thank you and I saved enough money during my working life that I retired at 52

What is a troll? I see them getting a lot of credit here so please enlighten me.

[Bday Prang]

6 minutes ago, V8M8 said:

What is a troll? I see them getting a lot of credit here so please enlighten me.

   Priceless

[scubascuba3]

10 hours ago, smallchungus said:

I’m in my 30s and that situation is exactly what I want to avoid

in your 30s find a nice girl working in Bangkok, thai friendly, thai cupid, but what can happen is while genuinely looking for a relationship you may end up seeing many girls just for fun, let us know.

 

Yesterday i got a message from a very pretty 18yo looking for a boyfriend who will pay her a salary, not unusual, most guys pay their gf or wife a salary

[KhunLA]

2 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

in your 30s find a nice girl working in Bangkok, thai friendly, thai cupid, but what can happen is while genuinely looking for a relationship you may end up seeing many girls just for fun, let us know.

 

Yesterday i got a message from a very pretty 18yo looking for a boyfriend who will pay her a salary, not unusual, most guys pay their gf or wife a salary

I don't think so.  Unless you mean simply giving them pocket money if they don't work.  If in a real relationship, who rents their gf or wife.   I know one guy, when I first met, and first year here, ask me and another guy, while sitting around, 'how much do you give your wife every month ?'  We were like, 'what ?'

 

He was surprised, nothing.    Apparently he gave her 50k a month, and this 20+ yrs ago.   She said that's what she makes, and if he wants her to stop working in bar, needs to pay her.

 

If you are providing everything, if she doesn't work, why would you give her basically a salary every month.   Especially if you took her out of a bar, then she should be happy just in that fact.

 

When I first met my present wife, she stopped working (stall restaurant @ market), after she moved in, so made sure she had pocket money.   Since she stopped working.  Would be a bit degrading if having to ask me for money every time she needed. 

 

Relationship well developed, married, and she just takes money out of our 'monthly funds' as needed.  Knowing she doesn't waste or give away, so has full access to my/our funds.  She's actually produced almost as much or more money than myself via RE investing, as I brought in, during a few years.   Because of her, we live here basically rent, housing cost free.

 

First wife didn't get anything, as had a gambling problem, which quickly ended our marriage.

[KhunLA]

Never met a gal online in TH, as sites are full of P4P gals.   Way back when, before such sites, or that i heard of, use to meet more than a few, when Yahoo chat was a thing.  Meeting like minded fun gals was easy.

 

Worked for an airlines, so actually flying to another city for a weekend of fun, was actually a favorite past time of me.   Great way to see the country, and have company while there 

 

Surprisingly, only got burned once.  Flew in, late night flight, and never showed up at airport.   Hope they had a good chuckle 

 

I'm amazed now, how many people don't meet people in person as they go about their daily routine.  As dated a few gals here just meeting while knocking around town / Udon Thani.  Along with a few while out on the weekend prowl, at Thai venues, never being a P4P guy since living here.   Simply never needed to.  Too many like minded gals just want to have fun also.  

[jesimps]

13 hours ago, smallchungus said:

I’ve heard to avoid Pattaya for finding long term relationships because of the bar girls and general sexpat culture of the city.  I have zero interest in anything related to this.  Is Jomtien going to also be a bad choice for finding a potential long term relationship/wife as well due to its proximity to Pattaya?  Would I be better off going to somewhere like Phuket or Hua Hin?  I don’t drink so bars in general aren’t going to be of any appeal.  My main interest in the general Pattaya area is the number of restaurants, quality hospitals, cost of living, and not getting obliterated by smoke season.

Only a small proportion of the women in Pattaya work in the sex industry. You're just as likely to meet a respectable girl in Pattaya as you are in Jomtien or anywhere else. Depends upon where you frequent of course.

[jacko45k]

3 minutes ago, jesimps said:

Only a small proportion of the women in Pattaya work in the sex industry. You're just as likely to meet a respectable girl in Pattaya as you are in Jomtien or anywhere else. Depends upon where you frequent of course.

Not so sure about that mate... the industry is rather prevalent in Pattaya City.....I kinda agree that Jomtien is little better; surely 'anywhere else' will yield many Thai towns where it is not a major employer!

[smallchungus]

Definitely won’t be paying a salary.  I plan on meeting someone in person.  

[morrobay]

12 minutes ago, smallchungus said:

Definitely won’t be paying a salary.  I plan on meeting someone in person.  

Sure if your timing is good-kan doo. But there are many opportunities for a professional girlfriend.

[Expat68]

14 hours ago, smallchungus said:

I’ve heard to avoid Pattaya for finding long term relationships because of the bar girls and general sexpat culture of the city.  I have zero interest in anything related to this.  Is Jomtien going to also be a bad choice for finding a potential long term relationship/wife as well due to its proximity to Pattaya?  Would I be better off going to somewhere like Phuket or Hua Hin?  I don’t drink so bars in general aren’t going to be of any appeal.  My main interest in the general Pattaya area is the number of restaurants, quality hospitals, cost of living, and not getting obliterated by smoke season.

Better off avoiding all tourist areas. My friend who is currently on tour in Thailand only yesterday turned round to me and said the women where you live are different from Pattaya, to which I replied that they have not been tarnished by the westerners

[smallchungus]

13 minutes ago, morrobay said:

Sure if your timing is good-kan doo. But there are many opportunities for a professional girlfriend.

I’m not a sex obsessed coomer.  I would like to find the mother to my future children since women in the West have stopped breeding or only have maybe 1 kid after 30.  I’m truly not trying to crap all over the sex industry, and I don’t care if people take part.  I personally hate it and want nothing to do with it though.

[morrobay]

28 minutes ago, smallchungus said:

I’m not a sex obsessed coomer.  I would like to find the mother to my future children since women in the West have stopped breeding or only have maybe 1 kid after 30.  I’m truly not trying to crap all over the sex industry, and I don’t care if people take part.  I personally hate it and want nothing to do with it though.

Ok , Then I would suggest going to  Vietnam maybe teach English. Seems from your perspective and what I know about  non "working"Vietnam girls*that country would deserve a look. Saigon , Danang, Nha Trang. The girls you can meet in coffee shops are very keen on having relationships with foreigners in part to learn English.

[BigStar]

1 hour ago, jacko45k said:

Not so sure about that mate... the industry is rather prevalent in Pattaya City.....I kinda agree that Jomtien is little better; surely 'anywhere else' will yield many Thai towns where it is not a major employer!

 

Depends on how large the town is. Pattaya City is a big place now, though our mongers only know a small part of it, a few streets mainly, and are blind to the rest.

 

Take a look at the modern Pattaya skyline. See all those hotels, condos, and malls? Ride around. See all those shops, offices, schools, markets, and large stores? See those banks and hospitals? OBVIOUSLY, there's a vast army of "normal" women working in them. Thank god; without them, it'd all collapse.

 

Most of them don't interact with the public, so meeting them is the problem. You don't pick them up on the street, not in Pattaya. Most of them speak little to no English (you need basic Thai).

 

You might get lucky, but otherwise, as I said, effort will be needed. Working, volunteering, making a good impression on those whom you do happen to meet, letting them know you're a serious guy looking for a real girlfriend (networking)--and going online and filtering out hundreds of ho's, gold diggers, scammers, escorts, and crazies. Online, you have access to ladies in nearby towns and Bangkok. Sometimes the office ladies do speak some English, 'cause they work with international hotels or have foreign clients, such as a professional accountant or condo management company.

 

My gf I met when I volunteered at a small (now defunct) language school in Naklua. Her company had sent her over for a short English language course. She knew none then. She studied hard and learned fast. Me, I had started learning basic Thai from the time I arrived in Pattaya. We met for lunch a few times outside of class and started talking and messaging, and somehow the chemistry was just right. After I helped develop her potential, she turned out to be pretty remarkable. Who'd have thought? I wouldn't have.

[bbi1]

14 hours ago, smallchungus said:

I’ve heard to avoid Pattaya for finding long term relationships because of the bar girls and general sexpat culture of the city.  I have zero interest in anything related to this.  Is Jomtien going to also be a bad choice for finding a potential long term relationship/wife as well due to its proximity to Pattaya?  Would I be better off going to somewhere like Phuket or Hua Hin?  I don’t drink so bars in general aren’t going to be of any appeal.  My main interest in the general Pattaya area is the number of restaurants, quality hospitals, cost of living, and not getting obliterated by smoke season.

Yes, they're all the same. Not the place for relationships.

[bbi1]

14 hours ago, smallchungus said:

I’m in my 30s and that situation is exactly what I want to avoid

So don't come anywhere near Pattaya/Jomtien/Chonburi area then. It's what you are looking to avoid.

[Celsius]

I know.... generalizations and ASSumptions, but Vietnam girls are crazy cold hearted b$#€$

 

Hua Hin and fuket is the same cesspool are probably worse than pattaya for finding a girl.

 

Your only choice is Bangkok due to a large number of international companies and educated women.

 

My ex wife is single. Has a good job at working for S i em en s and rich paremts in the South near the beaches.

 

Her only requirement is Farang baby whicj I couldn't deliver.

 

Are U up 4 it?

[bbi1]

13 hours ago, Doctor Tom said:

Finally, don't dismiss all bar girls as unworthy of consideration, many are trustworthy girls', just trying to survive and improve their lot in a tough World.  They may not represent what you are wanting for a long term relationship, but even that has proved happy and successful for many a wandering expat. 

No bar girl is trustworthy. If you believe that, you are just plain dumb and stupid.

[bbi1]

1 hour ago, jesimps said:

Only a small proportion of the women in Pattaya work in the sex industry. You're just as likely to meet a respectable girl in Pattaya as you are in Jomtien or anywhere else. Depends upon where you frequent of course.

Most of them work in the sex industry, or have in the past, or work as semi-pros. You are kidding yourself there buddy.

[jimn]

1 hour ago, smallchungus said:

Definitely won’t be paying a salary.  I plan on meeting someone in person.  

You are in the wrong country if you just want a normal relationship. It will be near nai impossible to find a girl who does not want paying. Every girl unless she comes from a rich family will want you to take care of her financially. This is not just bar girls. The girls who are here are in the main from a village somewhere and work here to support their family. Good luck with finding someone where money is not involved.