Lack Of Thai Male Friends

[ikke1959]

7 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I don't blame the Thais. We are just different. 

 

One common example are the different nightlife spots. There are bars for Thais, for farangs, for Japanese, Koreans, etc. We all like to do things differently. 

Some Thai guys have mia-nois and seem to be proud when other people know about that. Many farangs do more or less the opposite.

The list goes on and on. 

 

I know and understand you.. I am sorry that you think I blame Thais, that is not the meaning. i just wanted to try to find an explanation of what differences we have

[SS1]

It's a good question. I don't have any and have been wondering why. My only real Thai friends (without any "benefits" ), for some reason, are female too. I know them through a mutual hobby, which is riding big bikes. Sometimes we go on bike trips together, typically mixed farang/thai group. 

[OneMoreFarang]

14 minutes ago, ikke1959 said:

I know and understand you.. I am sorry that you think I blame Thais, that is not the meaning. i just wanted to try to find an explanation of what differences we have

You wrote: "Maybe also because Thai people are very jealous and they see everybody else as a threat for a relation. In fact they have never learned to deal with others. "

[Freddy42OZ]

22 hours ago, JimTripper said:

I have been in Thailand over 10 years and just realized I have had zero Thai male friends the whole time.

Do other expats here have Thai male friends? If so, what are their ages, how old are you and where did you meet?
I'm talking about friends like I had in the USA where you call each other, hang out, go out to sporting events and concerts & drinking of course. Not guys you would know through a female or her relatives, but just guy friends you would meet while out and about.

 

I have several good Thai friends. 

I'm now 56, I was 41 when I arrived in Bangkok to work in IT.

One of my good Thai friends was the Manager of an Oyster bar I used to go to in Ekkamai about 10 years ago, he went to school in Auckland and we became good mates.

Another is a Thai guy who I met through a work connection, he went to boarding school in the UK (the same one that his father and grandfather attended).  Very rich family, really nice people.  I met a lot of his friends at various parties etc but never really became good friends with them.  Most of them are rich like his family.

Another is a guy I met through a facebook group, he's regular middle class Thai, earns around 180K a month, travels to Korea, Taiwan and Japan a lot for work.  We chat online at least once a week and then meet up every few months for coffee and to discuss the latest tech gadgets he's brought back from his trips.  

I'm also friends with a very rich Thai politician who's name I can't mention.  He used to take me to the gentlemen's clubs in Ekkamai which was lots of fun 🙂 

I know a lot more Thai guys through various social groups etc but wouldn't call them friends, more just acquaintances. 


 

[gamb00ler]

21 hours ago, bob smith said:

I would say that it is pretty much impossible for a farang man to have a true male thai friend.

I had two Thai brothers-in-law that were very good friends, not just because they were relatives.  One was my wife's eldest brother and a senior naval Officer.  The other was the husband of my wife's youngest sister and a senior army Officer.  They both started on the bottom rung.  During the 20+ annual visits of 1-4 months to Thailand we became very close.

 

I was so looking forward to spending a lot of time with them, but they both passed before my wife and I moved to Thailand.

 

I think it will be hard to make such good Thai friends now as I'm older and not very socially active.

[Freddy42OZ]

21 hours ago, ikke1959 said:

You are right in 20 years in Thailand we don't have male or even female friends to hang around with, Some reasons are that they can't /don't like to speak English and they are not willing to teach you Thai, There is a class system in Thailand and some Thais think that we are different class lower or higher than they are. And the definition of friendship is something different than we are used in our homecountry.. We have given up already a long time ago.

 

 

There is a class system everywhere. 

I'm probably what most people would call upper middle class and proud of it.

You just have to go where the upper middle class Thais go, business networking events, wine tastings.... 

The Pacific City Club is a good place to join if you really want to meet good people - https://www.pacificcityclub.com/events.html. 

 

[Mark Nothing]

Not one male thai friend ever.  Not even close to having one.  

 

It is a closed system and foreigners are not allowed on the playing field.  They don't befriend foreigners because in the sysem they know foreigners don't exist. So there is no reason to befriend them.

 

But if a foreigner steps out of line, multiple attackers will converge to instantly reinforce the pecking order justice to proove the all important hierachical status.

[Captain Monday]

23 hours ago, 2baht said:

Can you summarize this in less than 100 words? 🤔

Food a dog would not eat

 

[2baht]

1 minute ago, Captain Monday said:

Food a dog would not eat

 

You're a day late, Captain!

[Skeptic7]

You're better off. Steer clear and keep it that way...otherwise you're inviting problems, money requests and likely trouble. 

[Bangel72]

My life is pretty limited in that I don't do that many things and friendships are often about doing the things you enjoy and have in common.

 

I've had good thai friends through work, we had pool, beer and work in common and even when we moved to different companies we would meet up for said things or if I needed help with something I could normally rely on them. Since covid though that drifted apart, guess I should organise a meet up.

 

The good group of friends I have do tend to remain farang and male, whether its football, pool, catching up over beers or sometimes fishing its still around those things in common and often very importantly a shared level of banter, we laugh when we are together, we are ourselves and we like who each of us are. It was the same when I was back home. 

 

If you have a hobby, a sport or interest that you do regularly with the same crowd of people you are more likely to make friends regardless of other differences but without the regular commonality the backgrounds are very different so less likely.

 

When you can often end up with only 4 or 5 good friends its not something I'd worry about a certain group not being a friend.

 

On the other hand having a lot of acquaintances who you enjoy a laugh with and are sort of friends when you happen to bump into each other, its fairly normal for this to be a much broader group unless your own prejudices are getting in the way.

[Nick Carter icp]

On 3/17/2024 at 9:27 PM, bob smith said:

I would say that it is pretty much impossible for a farang man to have a true male thai friend.

 

We value honesty and integrity, they value face and deference.

 

I have tried, many times.

I now don't have real friends here but acquaintances.

 

it is the way it is.

bob.

 

  Gotta laugh really .

bob smith , alcoholic , unfaithful, serial other peoples wife shagger , binge drinking for days , commenting on other peopes morality 🙂

    Bit like Mike Tyson criticising old boxers for coming out of retirement to fight internet celebs 

[Rampant Rabbit]

21 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

You sound like a monk. I happen to really enjoy my friends and I derive a tremendous amount of fulfillment out of my friendships, so the fact that I don't have any close Thai friends here is a regret. But it is what it is. Fortunately I have a lot of good friends elsewhere and I have some very good expat friends here. 

I have no need for friends. Last thing Id do is become a monk praying to fantasy gods

[john donson]

you need a drinking buddy, well, that will drink free from your pocket

 

don't expect any discussion about anything then fussban or alcohol

[thaibeachlovers]

On 3/18/2024 at 2:53 AM, JimTripper said:

Do other expats here have Thai male friends?

What possible reason would I have wanted male Thai friends for?

There was an obvious reason why I associated with Thai females, but not being homosexual that didn't apply to males.

 

The two male nephews of my wife would have put me off any idea of wanting male Thai friends had I thought it a good idea.

 

I'm pretty sure most Thai males have the same idea about farangs too. None of the ones I lived amongst ever wanted to associate with me.

[JimTripper]

20 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

What possible reason would I have wanted male Thai friends for?

There was an obvious reason why I associated with Thai females, but not being homosexual that didn't apply to males.

 

The two male nephews of my wife would have put me off any idea of wanting male Thai friends had I thought it a good idea.

 

I'm pretty sure most Thai males have the same idea about farangs too. None of the ones I lived amongst ever wanted to associate with me.

It seems like a place I'm retiring to where I'm not having favorable interactions with a large segment of the population.

 

I guess it's possible to only associate with other foreigners or women, but it feels odd. I get an underlying feeling that I'm not welcome by a lot of people or that something is wrong.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 3/21/2024 at 3:54 PM, JimTripper said:

It seems like a place I'm retiring to where I'm not having favorable interactions with a large segment of the population.

 

I guess it's possible to only associate with other foreigners or women, but it feels odd. I get an underlying feeling that I'm not welcome by a lot of people or that something is wrong.

Perhaps I've been alone so much of my life that I'm happy enough on my own, so I don't need other people to fulfill me.

In LOS I never cared that I didn't even know any males other than my BIL and his two sons, and I preferred them not to be in my vicinity.

The interactions I had with Thai males were, on the whole, business, and carried out without any emotional impact one way or another.

 

Having to think about it, I think the only man I had an emotional response to was Father Ray of the Pattaya orphanage, a man that I had profound respect for, and he wasn't Thai.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 3/19/2024 at 6:35 PM, Rampant Rabbit said:

I have no need for friends. Last thing Id do is become a monk praying to fantasy gods

????????????

 

Buddhism doesn't have gods and Christianity has only 1 God.

[Prubangboy]

51 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Perhaps I've been alone so much of my life that I'm happy enough on my own, so I don't need other people to fulfill me.

 

Getting older means being more alone, for most people. The non-alone are usually surrounded by family, which is a mixed bag at best.

 

Developing resiliency for that can start at any age.

[Rampant Rabbit]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

????????????

 

Buddhism doesn't have gods and Christianity has only 1 God.

are  all  monks  Buddhist? Buddhism just another set of rules to live your  life  you  say not a God yet treated  just like that, no thanks

[Gottfrid]

There is just too many members here that do not understand how to live in a foreign country. Just look for reasons to not have Thai male friends below:

 

• The language barrier: How about learning the language in the country you chose to live in? So, see! Wow! The barrier just faded to nothing.
• There is not much you can talk to them about: Lay off the superiority complex! Just be a nice guy in a foreign country that likes the people around you.
• They do not value honesty and integrity: Should we read the news! See how many foreigners in Thailand that lacks that only by reading the news. But, it´s only a small fraction, so is it with Thai people as well.

[murphybridget]

On 3/18/2024 at 4:18 AM, JimTripper said:

I would agree with that. When I lived in Chiang Mai there was a Thai neighbor who played guitar, who hung around, but rarely, and was unusually open to everybody. He also played at the soiree we had that had a lot of foreigners present.

 

So musicians, bohemians, guys into the marijuana scene, or tattoo's, or big bikes, also guys into leathercraft, arts and also some specific music scene that you resonate with like metal, rock or whatever all seem more open to interacting on an equal basis.

 

Guys with those kinds of strong interests and character seem to be rarely found in Thailand, however. It seems like they are oddballs out in a way and not the norm.

That sounds like a wonderful experience! It's always great to connect with people through music, especially in diverse settings like a soiree with foreigners. Did you get a chance to play music together with your Thai neighbor?

[JimTripper]

1 hour ago, murphybridget said:

That sounds like a wonderful experience! It's always great to connect with people through music, especially in diverse settings like a soiree with foreigners. Did you get a chance to play music together with your Thai neighbor?

No, I don't play an instrument. That's a good way of meeting people, however. Learn an instrument and join a band.

Edited March 25 by JimTripper

[murphybridget]

18 hours ago, JimTripper said:

No, I don't play an instrument. That's a good way of meeting people, however. Learn an instrument and join a band.

Of course it is.

[SAFETY FIRST]

On 3/17/2024 at 10:25 PM, bob smith said:

Vietnamese people are generally warm and hospitable

I've lived and worked in Thailand and Vietnam. 

 

I find both Thai's and Vietnamese people are generally warm and hospitable. 

 

[SAFETY FIRST]

On 3/17/2024 at 8:53 PM, JimTripper said:

Do other expats here have Thai male friends?

I worked with Thai's, they were university educated, all were my friends, had a few very good Thai male friends. 

 

It's quite easy to befriend them, wonderful, fun people to be around.

 

Workplace is where you'll meet the educated, English speaking Thai's. 

My co-workers were from all over Thailand, we worked out of Songkla, I looked forward ever other month to seeing them, we regularly had safety training together and social events together. A few of the guys come down to Pattaya and we catch up occasionally. 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited April 4 by SAFETY FIRST

[Dutchjohn]

On 3/17/2024 at 9:53 PM, bob smith said:

in your experience, would you say that the majority of Thais think we are better or worse than them?

 

over the years i have had thai people tell me that they tend to think that farang are smarter and better than them, but this could of course be a smokescreen. 

 

bob.

In your case, that would indeed be a smokescreen

[bob smith]

1 hour ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

I worked with Thai's, they were university educated, all were my friends, had a few very good Thai male friends. 

 

It's quite easy to befriend them, wonderful, fun people to be around.

 

Workplace is where you'll meet the educated, English speaking Thai's. 

My co-workers were from all over Thailand, we worked out of Songkla, I looked forward ever other month to seeing them, we regularly had safety training together and social events together. A few of the guys come down to Pattaya and we catch up occasionally. 

 

 

 

 

 

...now I know why you are the way you are!!

 

You are one of those health and safety goons. God they are so tedious. Every company has one and they are all the same.. Squares we call em.

 

Bob.

[soalbundy]

On 3/18/2024 at 3:00 PM, spidermike007 said:

Exactly, Mexicans tend to be warm and friendly and welcoming. If you live in Mexico for 5 or 10 years you're considered to be an honorary Mexican, totally the opposite of life here for an expat. Fortunately I've never felt the need to belong, but I certainly don't feel like I belong here, even though I love it here, and I will likely be here for the rest of my life. 

I disagree regarding belonging, I certainly feel I belong here (at least in my village). When I once mentioned to the village headman that I needed to extend my visa he was quite shocked, "You're one of us, you've been here 20 years, why do you need a visa"? When in addition I told him about the 90 day rule he shook his head in disbelief. When my missus turns up for a funeral without me it's immediately questioned and I have to show up to pay my respects. They even tried to put me on the board regarding the money collections by the monks at the village temple, which I refused and I'm usually thrust forward along with the headman to greet government dignitaries. So yes I feel at home here. 

[SAFETY FIRST]

1 hour ago, bob smith said:

...now I know why you are the way you are!!

 

You are one of those health and safety goons. God they are so tedious. Every company has one and they are all the same.. Squares we call em.

 

Bob.

What are you doing awake, did you poo the bed. 

 

I thought all you grumpy bums woke up at midday. 

 

Edited April 5 by SAFETY FIRST