St. Peter: “Halt! Who goes there?”

 

trump: “Your favorite President….ME!”

 

St. Peter: You are not welcome here. The DOWN escalator is over there.

 

trump: Don’t you know who I am! My Talibangicals---they worship me, you know---say I’m the Second Coming! In fact, many are saying Mary lied. Some stable boy.  Fake Virgin.  Just like Horseface Stormy lied, so that makes me the First Coming. Jews love me, too, by the way. I did more for them….

 

(St. Peter interrupts)

 

St. Peter: Stormy did not lie. We have the tapes, just as we have the pee pee tapes and some other much nastier ones. You know Putin and his penchant for kompromat. Anyway, I know what you are. We are ALL KNOWING and ALL SEEING here. I’ve seen the evidence. Lordy! The nerve to think you belong up here!

 

trump: WITCH HUNT! CELESTIAL PERSECUTION! Somebody planted the evidence. Probably Comey. Or Jimmy Kimmel, that low ratings guy! Did you see him at the Oscars?

 

St. Peter: Keep your voice down. You do not speak in all caps here. This is a quiet zone, an eternal resting place. Jesus is napping, and you do not want His wrath. He can go all Old Testament when angry, just like his Father.

 

trump: Fake Savior! A sucker and a loser. I like my saviors who don’t get nailed. And a low life carpenter at that. I stiffed better carpenters than Him back in New Jersey.

 

St. Peter: You are accused of regularly engaging in the Seven Deadly Sins, and for violating at least nine of the Ten Commandments. The Special Counsel is looking into allegations of your breaking of Commandment #5, too, but as is, this facility is closed to you for all eternity.

 

trump: UNFAIR! God is DERANGED! Crazed lib. Biased against me because my ratings are better. I bet He altered the voting machines, not Hugo Chavez. My lawyers will appeal. Hey, I know Two Corinthians. I demand to see them now! I’ve got immunity. Gorsuch and Barrett said so! They owe me.

 

St. Peter: There’s no appeal here. God’s judgement is final. Had you read that book you were schlepping for $59.99, you would know the rules. No repentance, no admission. No redemption.

 

trump: Redemption? I’m not about redemption; I’m about retribution!

 

St. Peter: Yours is not the final word. Our rule of law holds here. You cannot stuff the celestial court with lackeys.

 

trump: I led a PERFECT LIFE! Like my phone calls to Zelenskyy and Raffensperger. Perfect! Many people are saying mine is maybe the best life ever. I should be running this dump. Looks worse than the White House. You ever seen my 33,000 square foot apartment? Makes this place look like a Motel 6. Only I can clean it up. Make Heaven Great Again. No….Afterlife….Make Afterlife…. Yea, MAGA works here, too. I can sell some hats. Got too much inventory. How many of my people are here? They love my stuff!

 

St. Peter: Few of your people here. No Chinese goods here, either. Quality control. W Edwards Deming is here, you know. We have standards. Anyway, the ruling is final. Guilty as charged. All counts.

 

trump: Hey...how did I get here anyway? Dr Jackson said I'm a perfect specimen, would live to 200.

 

St. Peter: When your Supreme Court lackeys ruled Presidents are immune, it was BEFORE the election. Bad move. Biden was Commander-in-Chief. Gorsuch, Barrett and Kavanaugh beat you here, but like you, were turned away. Even up here that Barrett's view of religion is bizarre. She's a whackadoodle.

 

(trump thinks for a moment)

 

trump: Where are those Moslems? I’m a martyr. Sure I am. They’ll let me in to their paradise. Theirs is better anyway. I get virgins there. Virgins are poorly educated, like my goobers. None will think there’s anything funny about my junk. Last woman who laughed at my enoki cost me a hundred thirty grand.

 

St. Peter: There is only Heaven. Everyone else lost Pascal’s Wager, which was really a multiple choice.

 

trump: How about those guys who believe in reincarnation. Everybody wants me back down there. I was way ahead in the polls, at least the ones on Fox.

 

St. Peter: We are done here. You are unwelcome. Part way down the escalator you will see Deep State Duty Free. I suggest you stop and load up on SPF666.

 

(St. Peter calls out)

 

St. Peter: Security? Show the damned guy out.

 

I am sure he will be welcome on the bottom of that escalator. And all his friends are there.

 

 

Just now, Sticky Rice Balls said:

get ready for the blowback from all the right wing grievanced grumpy grandpas here.......

 

King Baby might send his hate cult after you since you bruised his fragile ego......

 

thanks for the joke...many are laughing...many...believe me....tears in my eyes! LMAO

Why do you keep referring to members as grandpas, etc, in your posts.

Is there a reason for it...?  🤔

20 hours ago, transam said:

Why do you keep referring to members as grandpas, etc, in your posts.

Is there a reason for it...?  🤔

A bitter so & so. Just bung them on ignore.

Reminds me of the 3 scousers at the pearly gates and st peter asks them what do you want?, they said we want to come in.

Off he goes and tells god theres 3 scousers at the pearly gates want to come in, god has a think then says go on let them in.

Off st peter goes, 5mintes later hes back and tells god theve gone,, who the scousers said god, no st peter said, the phuckin pearly gates....

On 4/29/2024 at 9:02 AM, Walker88 said:

St. Peter: “Halt! Who goes there?”

 

trump: “Your favorite President….ME!”

 

St. Peter: You are not welcome here. The DOWN escalator is over there.

 

trump: Don’t you know who I am! My Talibangicals---they worship me, you know---say I’m the Second Coming! In fact, many are saying Mary lied. Some stable boy.  Fake Virgin.  Just like Horseface Stormy lied, so that makes me the First Coming. Jews love me, too, by the way. I did more for them….

 

(St. Peter interrupts)

 

St. Peter: Stormy did not lie. We have the tapes, just as we have the pee pee tapes and some other much nastier ones. You know Putin and his penchant for kompromat. Anyway, I know what you are. We are ALL KNOWING and ALL SEEING here. I’ve seen the evidence. Lordy! The nerve to think you belong up here!

 

trump: WITCH HUNT! CELESTIAL PERSECUTION! Somebody planted the evidence. Probably Comey. Or Jimmy Kimmel, that low ratings guy! Did you see him at the Oscars?

 

St. Peter: Keep your voice down. You do not speak in all caps here. This is a quiet zone, an eternal resting place. Jesus is napping, and you do not want His wrath. He can go all Old Testament when angry, just like his Father.

 

trump: Fake Savior! A sucker and a loser. I like my saviors who don’t get nailed. And a low life carpenter at that. I stiffed better carpenters than Him back in New Jersey.

 

St. Peter: You are accused of regularly engaging in the Seven Deadly Sins, and for violating at least nine of the Ten Commandments. The Special Counsel is looking into allegations of your breaking of Commandment #5, too, but as is, this facility is closed to you for all eternity.

 

trump: UNFAIR! God is DERANGED! Crazed lib. Biased against me because my ratings are better. I bet He altered the voting machines, not Hugo Chavez. My lawyers will appeal. Hey, I know Two Corinthians. I demand to see them now! I’ve got immunity. Gorsuch and Barrett said so! They owe me.

 

St. Peter: There’s no appeal here. God’s judgement is final. Had you read that book you were schlepping for $59.99, you would know the rules. No repentance, no admission. No redemption.

 

trump: Redemption? I’m not about redemption; I’m about retribution!

 

St. Peter: Yours is not the final word. Our rule of law holds here. You cannot stuff the celestial court with lackeys.

 

trump: I led a PERFECT LIFE! Like my phone calls to Zelenskyy and Raffensperger. Perfect! Many people are saying mine is maybe the best life ever. I should be running this dump. Looks worse than the White House. You ever seen my 33,000 square foot apartment? Makes this place look like a Motel 6. Only I can clean it up. Make Heaven Great Again. No….Afterlife….Make Afterlife…. Yea, MAGA works here, too. I can sell some hats. Got too much inventory. How many of my people are here? They love my stuff!

 

St. Peter: Few of your people here. No Chinese goods here, either. Quality control. W Edwards Deming is here, you know. We have standards. Anyway, the ruling is final. Guilty as charged. All counts.

 

trump: Hey...how did I get here anyway? Dr Jackson said I'm a perfect specimen, would live to 200.

 

St. Peter: When your Supreme Court lackeys ruled Presidents are immune, it was BEFORE the election. Bad move. Biden was Commander-in-Chief. Gorsuch, Barrett and Kavanaugh beat you here, but like you, were turned away. Even up here that Barrett's view of religion is bizarre. She's a whackadoodle.

 

(trump thinks for a moment)

 

trump: Where are those Moslems? I’m a martyr. Sure I am. They’ll let me in to their paradise. Theirs is better anyway. I get virgins there. Virgins are poorly educated, like my goobers. None will think there’s anything funny about my junk. Last woman who laughed at my enoki cost me a hundred thirty grand.

 

St. Peter: There is only Heaven. Everyone else lost Pascal’s Wager, which was really a multiple choice.

 

trump: How about those guys who believe in reincarnation. Everybody wants me back down there. I was way ahead in the polls, at least the ones on Fox.

 

St. Peter: We are done here. You are unwelcome. Part way down the escalator you will see Deep State Duty Free. I suggest you stop and load up on SPF666.

 

(St. Peter calls out)

 

St. Peter: Security? Show the damned guy out.

 

As long, boring and misinformed as your regular posts.

 

 

On 5/10/2024 at 2:00 PM, Sticky Rice Balls said:

get ready for the blowback from all the right wing grievanced grumpy grandpas here.......

 

King Baby might send his hate cult after you since you bruised his fragile ego......

 

thanks for the joke...many are laughing...many...believe me....tears in my eyes! LMAO

Perfect reply from someone who chose his username from the content of what’s between his ears.

GOD, This three letter agency got it all over these  Satanic agencies!

 

 

 

Something else to consider esp as trump is playing to the christians out there....

 

88 has Finally snapped. What a sad way end up.