24 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Very true. As a general rule of course if a girl is in a relationship with you she needs your resources. If she does not need anything from you there is little reason for her to be in a relationship at all.

My penis and sperm 

7 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I view women more like a beer, to be enjoyed and then discarded.

That is a very sad outlook. I would never, ever discard a beer - even if I was on the verge of puking. 

1 hour ago, MalcolmB said:

Having a Thai male friend give advice is the best way, farangs have no idea.

One said the best way is to ask them to lend you money.

The way they talk in Thai is another good indicator as well as their job and the way they dress.

Obviously if you are looking for marriage a hymen should be part of the package otherwise it is just your turn and use it then lose it is the best way forward.

 

A virgin is a true gift. If a virgin loves you. She will really love you. Because she has no other point of reference. If you are lucky enough to have a rel with a virgin it is the best chance to have a 20 year rel with a woman who is devoted to you. Failing that a 19 year old who had one, two or very few boyfriends. The earlier you get her, the better it is, and the greater the chance she will be loyal if she has good character, and if you have the resources consistently to keep her satisfied.

 

 

When my Thai and expat friends realised I really liked the (very beautiful) girl who managed a local backpacker hostel, they decided to 'vet' her. 

 

We'd had a few dates and I was talking enthusiastically about her at work ... so without telling me they decided to check her out.

 

One male friend, who used to indulge in Bangkok nightlife to epic excess decided to see if he could temp her for a 'short time' with some serious cash ..... she was understandably shocked, then politely refused his generous offer.

 

A female Thai friend then met her at the hostel and grilled her about family, jobs, boyfriends etc.

 

They both told me she'd passed their vetting process.

 

14 years together and she laughs about it now, but she did think I had some strange friends.

 

But with hindsight it was a good process .... when lust and desire takes over you may not be very wise, but a couple of friends can give an objective view about a potentially life changing choice.

Vetting a tarty piece is easy, just spend 30 minutes going through her phone

36 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

When my Thai and expat friends realised I really liked the (very beautiful) girl who managed a local backpacker hostel, they decided to 'vet' her. 

 

We'd had a few dates and I was talking enthusiastically about her at work ... so without telling me they decided to check her out.

 

One male friend, who used to indulge in Bangkok nightlife to epic excess decided to see if he could temp her for a 'short time' with some serious cash ..... she was understandably shocked, then politely refused his generous offer.

 

A female Thai friend then met her at the hostel and grilled her about family, jobs, boyfriends etc.

 

They both told me she'd passed their vetting process.

 

14 years together and she laughs about it now, but she did think I had some strange friends.

 

But with hindsight it was a good process .... when lust and desire takes over you may not be very wise, but a couple of friends can give an objective view about a potentially life changing choice.

 

The honey trap is a superb way to test her loyalty.

24 minutes ago, proton said:

Vetting a tarty piece is easy, just spend 30 minutes going through her phone

 

One of the sure fire ways to test a girl is to ask to see her phone. If she immediately gives you her phone, it's a good sign, but you should still review it carefully (she may be bluffing, I actually found something in this scenario once).

 

If she disappears to the toilet or quickly has to delete a "game" before she gives you the phone, you should break up with her immediately.

 

The girl knows if she refuses to show you her phone it will make her look as if she is hiding something, and most girls will show it.

 

Any girl who refuses to show her phone, I would not even be interested in seeing her again. Immediate break up.

Actions speak louder than words. Be smart. Do a number of small tests along the way. Leave some valuables around. Does she ever offer to pay for her own things? Does she give you any gifts? Does she hide her phone from you? etc etc.

 

Not difficult!

8 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

Very true. As a general rule of course if a girl is in a relationship with you she needs your resources. If she does not need anything from you there is little reason for her to be in a relationship at all.

Not quite, if she has a good non sex worker job she won't need extra money from you

18 hours ago, Cameroni said:

Character is destiny. There are two kinds of women, those women who will stay loyal to you provided the material framework is solid and she is kept away from other "options"; and then there are those women who will cheat on you regardless of the material framework you provide, in fact she will create "options" to cheat.

 

So, whilst we men, often talk about looks, it would be more important to talk about how to vet the character of a Thai woman.  In particular because there are greater difficulties in Thailand 1) broken and disfunctional family life creating impaired or missing integrity 2) financial disadvantages being an incentive to gouge a partner and adopt the gold digger strategy 3) the ability to date highly attractive women who, unfortunately, are often the ones with the least integrity.

 

Therefore let's talk about this. How do you vet for character in a Thai woman?

 

First off, I pay my tab and leave the bar.

4 hours ago, proton said:

Vetting a tarty piece is easy, just spend 30 minutes going through her phone

You must be a whiz at reading Thai ?

 

 

17 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

I have so many friends, who come here, and from the very start, make the same mistakes they made back in the West. Except here, they do not need to make those mistakes. The environment does not dictate that they behave like lambs. Many do not know, or realize that, or they succumb to "force of habit". Every ship needs a captain. If the man is not willing to be the captain of the ship, the woman will take over, here in Thailand. Most women here seem to want a strong man. But, if they end up with a wimp, they will take over. They have to. Someone needs to be the captain!

 

Many Thai women are very clever at making it appear that they really care for "their guy". And on many occasions, that is true, especially in long term relationships. But, for short time gals, it is just a game, and they play it well. Many Western men who come here are emotionally vulnerable, or an emotional wreck, having endured years of near torture by uber-feminists. 

 

My advice would be to take your time, okay you've already invested an extraordinary amount of time into chatting with somebody online, which is something I would never do, but all that is said and done. So once you get here take your time. Don't move fast, don't move in with her, don't live with her, date her for 6 months to a year and see how you like her.

 

When you meet a girl in person that you have met online, there is a possibility that you won't even like what you see, and that there will be zero chemistry. So, keep your expectations low, and come here and really really take your time getting to know her. What this means is consistent pushback from you, because she's going to want to step up the timetable, she's going to want it to move fast, she's going to want everything to happen right away, and you're going to have to be man enough to say sorry but I need a lot of time to determine whether or not you're the right woman for me, and I need a lot of time to get to know you.

 

Always remember if it's good it's only going to get better, and if there are problems they're going to manifest themselves over time. So the worst thing you can do is rush headlong into this thing. Man up and do your gender justice. Make us proud. 

 

The best chance any man has is to really be patient and really take his time. The woman is usually going to push to move things forward because she has an agenda, and the man always has to push back. If you're not willing to be patient, if you're not willing to abide by my timeline then I'm just going to walk. Time is your ally, if it's good it's only going to get better if there are problems they're going to manifest themselves over time. Always be willing to walk, plenty more fish in the sea, especially here. 

 

Good Lord! That "uber-feminist" messed up your head real bad. Must have been torture.

 

But not as much torture as reading your "advice".

17 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

Great post Mike, really.

 

You touched on one of the greatest difficulties with vetting a woman: They will pretend that they really care for you. Indeed that is one of the greatest difficulties, to gauge her real, actual and truthful level of attraction to you. 

 

You meet her and she smiles, you end up going to bed and have sex, as a man you automatically think she cares for you and is attracted to you. However, this is aboslutely wrong. She can have many reasons to have sex with you, spend time with you, smile at you, that actually have nothing to do with her having genuine attraction to you or caring for you. So the question becomes, how can you be sure if she is attracted to you in a genuine way or not?

 

Thankfully, you can fake many things, but you cannot fake "connection" in the long term. IF you pay attention, you will pick up on little signs. For instance, though you have great sex you will notice in bed she is not truly physically affectionate. She does not grab your hand out of herself in loving way. She does not initate sex a lot. She does not spend a lot of time talking with you about you, is not curious about you, but instead is glued to Youtube or Tik Tok. She does not watch films with you, because she does not like the same films as you. In truth a girl who really likes you will pretend she likes the same films as you, it is a small thing to her.

 

If she does post on Tik Tok, then only herself looking pouting and seductive, but she never posts about you or mentions you. 

 

In short there are small, but obvious signs, that whilst a woman deems you worthy of spending time with, she is not actually filled with burning desire for you.

 

This is a crucial part of vetting, because you should only invest in girls who have this desire for you. Or you will enter a hell of suffering. Because the person who cares less has all the power.

 

Do not make excuses for a girl who shows signs that she is not wildly attracted to you. I did this before. You try to make excuses because the gir is so incredibly hot. But in the end, if she is not truly attracted to you, she will text her ex, text other guys and cheat on you. You will enter your own personal hell. These girls are only good as fbuddies, never as serious main girl material.

 

Amazing. What's that term I'm looking for again?

 

Yes!... self flagellation. That's it.

17 hours ago, save the frogs said:

no need to be overly critical of the OP

some people have some negatives experiences with women and it's part of the learning curve

as though you guys have never had a bad experience? trusted someone you shouldn't have, unrequited ... etc ..

I have and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

 

 

I've had my share, including the one whose gun jammed as she was about to shoot me in the head.

 

But that hasn't shaded my opinion of other women as potential life partners in the least. It starkly illuminated my poor judgement and stupidity way more than her being a raving psychopath with above-average amounts of toxic, emotional baggage.

 

She was a great shag mind you. My mate reckons she still is.

17 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

I would like to address one more of the points in Mike's excellent and on-topic post. Vetting the character of the Thai woman should not be confined to the first conversation or the first week. In fact much like for women the dating never stops, for men the vetting never stops. 

 

ideally you should vet a woman for 10 years at least. Even then it is too short a time. Why? Because women change over time.

 

The number one characteristic to vet is always - is she loyal? However, there are so many others:

 

Can she be led? Does she follow your lead? Is she happy to do so or does she resent it?

 

Is she lazy or hard working? Does she make your life better, does she do housework or does she resent it?

 

Is she honest or is she a habitual liar?

 

Does she have integrity? If you agree something can you rely on her doing what she agreed to? Or does she always break any agreement unilaterally?

 

Does she have any neurotic behaviours, is she mentally ill to a level that is unacceptable? Does she cry a lot, move in her dreams or tell you she had a satan sitting on her chest (don't laugh this actually happened to me with a Filipina). Does the slightest stress cause her depression? Or does she have a sunny and happy disposition?

 

It will take a long time to truly vet a woman.

 

 

Can you recommend a good vet?

 

Asking for a friend.

16 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

All very good points, and all very well thought out. Too many guys are just in way too much of a hurry, and I think sometimes they're more in love with the idea of being in love, than they are in love with the person. 

 

It's somewhat understandable as many men come here in a very vulnerable state emotionally, due to the years of abuse by women in the West. However it's all the more reason to take your time. 

 

Is this the voice of personal experience? The falling for Mrs Right Now instead of Mrs Right?

 

Or is it all anecdotal?

14 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

This is not a satisfcatory solution. You don't want to keep chasing women, because just like with women YOU too will be getting older, so there will come a time when you can no longer persuade a 25 year old Thai girl to stay with you for 8000 Baht.

 

The only solution is to find a woman of good character who will stay with you long term and is loyal. That is the only solution that could work.

 

I have managed several times to find a young beautiful woman who was madly in love with me, so whilst it is very difficult, it is certainly not beyond the realms of the possible.

 

Ain't that the truth? I had to fork out almost double that last night for a mostly unsatisfactory short-time.

16 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

There are some guys on here who have wifed up a hooker and it worked out for them. However, those are the very few fortunate incidents when he was lucky to find one of good character, which needless to say in the oldest profession in the world is very rare.

 

The problem with the bar girl dynamic is that you automatically create a framework of pay for happy, which will be very difficult to break if she is a priori conditioned to only give the best of herself for cash.

 

Sadly this is now pervasive not just in the bar girl scene, but even many "normal" young girl on ThaiFriendly will put "looking for sugar daddy" or the first question they ask is "can you support". 

 

It is certainly a good idea to avoid these kinds of women who are only focused on money.

 

In case it's skipped your attention, the Thai economy from the average Thai person's perspective is a basket case. The "Can you support?" imperative isn't unique to the gogo dancer demographic or the "desperately seeking a farang" sort infesting the dating sites and apps.

 

Fishing in the wrong fishing hole usually results in no fish. Those repeatedly fishing in the same fishing hole badly need a slap.

15 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Now you're just repeating Fredwiggy nonsense.

Is that a more polite way of saying he's speaking bawlicks?

7 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

A virgin is a true gift. If a virgin loves you. She will really love you. Because she has no other point of reference. If you are lucky enough to have a rel with a virgin it is the best chance to have a 20 year rel with a woman who is devoted to you. Failing that a 19 year old who had one, two or very few boyfriends. The earlier you get her, the better it is, and the greater the chance she will be loyal if she has good character, and if you have the resources consistently to keep her satisfied.

 

 

I had a virgin while I was working in America. It was bloody awful after the cherry had been popped. Cloying, clingy, soppy....I had to join the French Foreign Legion to get shot of her.

 

Way overrated IMHO.

5 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

One of the sure fire ways to test a girl is to ask to see her phone. If she immediately gives you her phone, it's a good sign, but you should still review it carefully (she may be bluffing, I actually found something in this scenario once).

 

If she disappears to the toilet or quickly has to delete a "game" before she gives you the phone, you should break up with her immediately.

 

The girl knows if she refuses to show you her phone it will make her look as if she is hiding something, and most girls will show it.

 

Any girl who refuses to show her phone, I would not even be interested in seeing her again. Immediate break up.

 

The gorgeous strumpet that willingly hands over her phone to Inspector Clousseau probably knows more about 'privacy' apps and how to use them than the clever farang inspector will ever know.

21 hours ago, Cameroni said:

Character is destiny. There are two kinds of women, those women who will stay loyal to you provided the material framework is solid and she is kept away from other "options"; and then there are those women who will cheat on you regardless of the material framework you provide, in fact she will create "options" to cheat.

 

So, whilst we men, often talk about looks, it would be more important to talk about how to vet the character of a Thai woman.  In particular because there are greater difficulties in Thailand 1) broken and disfunctional family life creating impaired or missing integrity 2) financial disadvantages being an incentive to gouge a partner and adopt the gold digger strategy 3) the ability to date highly attractive women who, unfortunately, are often the ones with the least integrity.

 

Therefore let's talk about this. How do you vet for character in a Thai woman?

Working, not in a bar. No children, no parents, that's what I wanted and received. 

You think too much buddy. Life’s too short for a comprehensive vetting process which may fail anyways. Do what DJT does. Grab them by the PU…. and see where it leads. That’s your first step in vetting. If she laughs and pushes your hand further in, she’d be a great short timer. The other extreme would be she’d kick you in the nuts Muay Thai style in which case you just run. And there’d be a host of reaction in between in which you gotta figure out if that’s good or not. 

The majority of ex pats in Thailand have at least one failed marriage in  their own country. Hardly a source of reliable expertise  to ask on this subject. 

 

 

 

 

Meet her parents. No matter the time or cost, go see where she grew up and how the people interact with each other. Look at her mother's interaction with father --This tells you how she will treat you.  My wife didnt say she was bringing a farang guy to meet them, but they were very kind to me. None of her relatives were smoking, gambling and the place was well kept. The interactions were pleasant and caring. The next day we had the engagement ceremony.  18 years later still married and in love.

False premise. 

 

Using any standard for vetting a woman's character is like measuring distances with a thermometer.

 

An art of self delusion.

23 hours ago, Cameroni said:

Character is destiny. There are two kinds of women, those women who will stay loyal to you provided the material framework is solid and she is kept away from other "options"; and then there are those women who will cheat on you regardless of the material framework you provide, in fact she will create "options" to cheat.

 

So, whilst we men, often talk about looks, it would be more important to talk about how to vet the character of a Thai woman.  In particular because there are greater difficulties in Thailand 1) broken and disfunctional family life creating impaired or missing integrity 2) financial disadvantages being an incentive to gouge a partner and adopt the gold digger strategy 3) the ability to date highly attractive women who, unfortunately, are often the ones with the least integrity.

 

Therefore let's talk about this. How do you vet for character in a Thai woman?

 

 

Just don't marry women from the peasant class. 

 

5 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

Not quite, if she has a good non sex worker job she won't need extra money from you

 

Yes, true, but she may need your attention, validation, status, physical desirability. It's not always money, but if they enter into a relationship with you they want something from you they don't have. Otherwise there is no reason for her to enter into a relationship with you.

12 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

A virgin is a true gift. If a virgin loves you. She will really love you. Because she has no other point of reference. If you are lucky enough to have a rel with a virgin it is the best chance to have a 20 year rel with a woman who is devoted to you. Failing that a 19 year old who had one, two or very few boyfriends. The earlier you get her, the better it is, and the greater the chance she will be loyal if she has good character, and if you have the resources consistently to keep her satisfied.

 

 

The urge to SIMP is strong in this one!

1 hour ago, Colabamumbai said:

Working, not in a bar. No children, no parents, that's what I wanted and received. 

Yeah, but you didn't realise it was a guy until after the engagement!