Older Retirees and Younger Partners in Rural Thailand: Accepted or Not?

[norsurin]

5 hours ago, Bannoi said:

Must send our daughters to Bangkok and Pattaya to find falang husband

Right.And they have the fast learn English class on the bus because almost every girls just started work in a bar.

[ronnie50]

8 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

Apparently, quite a few older foreign men have retired to rural Thai villages where they marry local women who are often much younger than them. The retirees are said to often speak limited Thai, and typically settle in areas with few other foreigners. To outsiders, these relationships might appear imbalanced due to differences in age, finances, or life experience.

 

I’m curious how local Thai communities perceive these relationships. Are these foreign retirees accepted and viewed as a normal part of Thai village life now, or do they spark gossip or social tension? Do locals see them as providing security and opportunities for the women, perhaps admiring the foreigners for their contributions, or do they view these relationships as exploiting economic disparities?

This is a politely, but deliberately, written misandry questionnaire (e.g. opposite of mysogyny), with a pre-conceived bias. I could post similar questions on why young plain-Jane-looking Western women marry Moroccan, Turkish or Latin American waiters or busboys and bring them back to live in Europe, the U.S. or Canada (until the latter get permanent residence status/citizenship - then they separate).

[norsurin]

25 minutes ago, ronnie50 said:

This is a politely, but deliberately, written misandry questionnaire (e.g. opposite of mysogyny), with a pre-conceived bias. I could post similar questions on why young plain-Jane-looking Western women marry Moroccan, Turkish or Latin American waiters or busboys and bring them back to live in Europe, the U.S. or Canada (until the latter get permanent residence status/citizenship - then they separate).

Ur right.Older woman often go to turkey and find the young bf After get married and when the guy get permanent stay they divorced and bring their Turkish gf/wife to my country.That said many thais here doing the same.I mean girls who brings their thai bf after permanently stay is in order.

[atpeace]

9 hours ago, Hummin said:

It is a high percentage of women vs men many places, and think about it, winning the lottery ticket they imagine some western men are, vs a Thai boy/man who cheat, drink, use drugs and spend their money. 

 

I do not say western men who search out Pattaya are better, but the chance to make some decent money is real for little effort. 

 

Smart girls often succeed 

Very few smart girls apparently. Most of the smart girls that manipulate the much older fool are a sorry lot.  Thais really don't respect them and make many assumptions about them.  They seem driven to compensate for their perceived low status by flaunting whatever wealth they have and spiral into a pathetic existence.  It would suck to waste a life with an old person you don't even really like if it wasn't for the money and upon leaving him they just stumble into the next sad situation.

 

Not all age weird relationships in the village are a reck but you know, having lived in villages, almost all eventually become pathetic.

[Yellowtail]

Only people in the West believe "love is all you need". 

 

Everyone else know you need food and shelter as well. 

[transam]

12 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

Usually the younger woman has children to other Thai guys in the village or near by.

 

Quite often the were what is known as the “Town Bike”. Everyone had a ride.

 

Mostly these couples didn’t meet in the isolated village up in Nakon Nowhere.

 

The villagers will all know they met in Pattaya or Bangla Phuket etc.

 

So there will be zero jealousy as no men in the village wanted these girls anyway.

 

The Farang if he can not speak the local lingo will be treated pretty much as the village idiot.

 

The Thais are not big on causing the Farang or his little teerak to lose any face and the Farang won’t understand any of the sleazy jokes about his teerak anyway. Teerak knows what’s going on but mostly just ignores it.

 

The Farang will think he is popular smiling and making hand gestures and pulling faces when in shops etc trying to explain himself which will just re-enforce his image of being The Village Idiot.

 

Ignorance is bliss. The wife won’t really help the Farang with language skills because it is easier to hide her affairs, her gambling and other issues and she keeps him in the dark like a mushroom and feeds him sหเt.

More nonsense from the girlie bar guru................😂

[transam]

11 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

 

Beer bar girls usually marry older.

What is your point?

Not everyone that runs a ma & pa shop that sells beer comes from one of your sleaze hangouts.

 

You should travel around a bit, give the school gates a miss for a while, you may find something different from your questionable hobbies........

[transam]

11 hours ago, frank83628 said:

Jesus, you actually said something on topic and with a genuine opinion... 

Sorry, there was nothing about Putin in it for you................😂

[henryford1958]

I am sure the villagers are happy. They know you will be contributing big money to the area.

[spidermike007]

The first thing that comes to mind is why on earth would any man marry a woman his own age if he can afford a younger one? 

 

I don't think people are particularly judgmental in Thailand about age, in the West they are highly critical. 

 

I am with a woman quite a bit younger than myself and she's also quite attractive, and I remember when we used to live on Samui the looks that we would get from foreign women would be quite amusing. Almost as if to say what you're doing is not right, it's not fair, it's against the rules, and you should be made to jump over considerably higher hoops that you have been subjected to! At the same time the men would look at me with a great deal of envy, walking around with these rather unattractive, and unappealing older Western women. 

[sherwood]

I haven't had any problems in the ten years I've been in the village.

The wife is 32 and me, going on 67.

I get along fine with the locals and my Thai is very poor.

Ignorance can often lead to bliss.

[NanLaew]

19 hours ago, VocalNeal said:

If you are 75 and your partner is 50 I don't think anyone cares. As long as you are both friendly and sociable. 

 

Talking as an old man with a stunningly beautiful, incredibly smart, amazingly talented and much younger wife of almost twenty years, I love it when a younger farang moves to the moobahn with his 'fresh squeeze', and shares his plans for the future with all of us older 'been there, done that' sort of chaps. We get fantastic insights into the expectations of the younger generation and what they perceive as important in a dynamically changing world. However, when it comes to marriage and family, it's notable that their desires and expectations aren't too much different from what ours were over 40 years ago. They just move faster.

 

18 hours ago, short-Timer said:

Most foreigners in those situations probably assume their neighbors genuinely like them because villagers can seem very friendly on the surface. But they often have no idea what those neighbors are actually gossiping about behind their backs.

 

And neither of us cares about what they think nor what they gossip about.

 

As my maternal granny used to say, "If they're not talking about you, they'll be talking about someone else."

 

Why do you assume so much about anonymous people on an internet forum that you will never meet?

 

[grain]

15 hours ago, Yellowtail said:

If a man is 20 and a girl is 15, the difference is staggering  

If a man is 30 and a woman is 25, the difference is almost insignificant. 

If a man is 40 and a woman is 30, the difference is almost insignificant. 

If a man is 50 and a woman is 35, the difference is almost insignificant. 

If a man is 60 and a woman is 40, the difference is almost insignificant. 

I've heard of stories about guys my age group getting 18yo or 23yo TGFs. For me that would be a nightmare. 😂

[Yellowtail]

14 minutes ago, grain said:

I've heard of stories about guys my age group getting 18yo or 23yo TGFs. For me that would be a nightmare. 😂

If it floats, flies, or fu*ks, rent it. 

[Hummin]

13 hours ago, ronnie50 said:

This is a politely, but deliberately, written misandry questionnaire (e.g. opposite of mysogyny), with a pre-conceived bias. I could post similar questions on why young plain-Jane-looking Western women marry Moroccan, Turkish or Latin American waiters or busboys and bring them back to live in Europe, the U.S. or Canada (until the latter get permanent residence status/citizenship - then they separate).

It is not more common than older men go to Asia to find younger men. 

 

For me it have always been, I find women where I stay or live, no matter where I have been. Do not necessarily have to be one type, color or shape, which you often hear some claim, the women have do be less than 45, 48 and not above 50 kg, which I find stupid. Who wants to make love to a girls with a body of a little boy 😉 

 

just saw in my feed, maybe a reminder for some 

 

https://www.facebook.com/reel/661065326706841?fs=e&fs=e

 

Flame on, I know you spineless C is out there being offended. 

[transam]

2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

It is not more common than older men go to Asia to find younger men. 

 

For me it have always been I find women where I stay or live, no matter where I have been. Do not necessarily have to be one type, color or shape, which you often here some claim here, the women have do be less than 45, 48 and not above 50 kg, which I find stupid. Who wants to make love to a girls with a body of a little boy 😉 

Weeeeell, I could post a username, but I might get into trouble..............🤣

[Cameroni]

Thais even accepted transsexuals and gays who strap dildos to their motorbike, so if you're a heterosexual male with a female partner and don't push girls around in public like that Swede, or kick women, like that Swiss guy, then odds are you'll be fine.

[StandardIssue]

21 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

Apparently, quite a few older foreign men have retired to rural Thai villages where they marry local women who are often much younger than them. The retirees are said to often speak limited Thai, and typically settle in areas with few other foreigners. To outsiders, these relationships might appear imbalanced due to differences in age, finances, or life experience.

 

I’m curious how local Thai communities perceive these relationships. Are these foreign retirees accepted and viewed as a normal part of Thai village life now, or do they spark gossip or social tension? Do locals see them as providing security and opportunities for the women, perhaps admiring the foreigners for their contributions, or do they view these relationships as exploiting economic disparities?

 

I commend you for visiting AN. You have found a great the source for research and understanding of Thai culture, language and how to exist within.

 

Most of the expats who frequent this forum have taken the time to learn Thai and are fluent. Have done extensive study into the culture and made every effort to abide by cultural norms. Most also have a deep understanding of how to have a meaningful relationship with a girl from Thai culture.

 

So make sure and heed all feedback and answers here for it is a fountain of knowledge from upstanding individuals who frequent places like Soi Cowboy and Soi 6 to fulfill their function as ambassadors and representatives from their respective home countries.

 

 

[Hummin]

20 minutes ago, transam said:

Weeeeell, I could post a username, but I might get into trouble..............🤣

You are already in trouble of speaking your mind to often 😏😂

[Hummin]

6 hours ago, atpeace said:

Very few smart girls apparently. Most of the smart girls that manipulate the much older fool are a sorry lot.  Thais really don't respect them and make many assumptions about them.  They seem driven to compensate for their perceived low status by flaunting whatever wealth they have and spiral into a pathetic existence.  It would suck to waste a life with an old person you don't even really like if it wasn't for the money and upon leaving him they just stumble into the next sad situation.

 

Not all age weird relationships in the village are a reck but you know, having lived in villages, almost all eventually become pathetic.

 

Smart girls do not necessarily being a bad girl with bad intentions. Smart girls learn how to get out of the business, learning language and find the right man who will contribute to her future plans and dreams. 

 

So you empathize with older fools who let them being fooled by younger prostitutes? Or you speaking of experience? 

 

Prostitution is an evil circle where many girls comes to Pattaya to work, and being used and abused by men who promise them a golden future, and exploits their yuth, but leave them behind, one by one, and of course smart girls learns the game and becomes professionals. After all what could be a ticket out of poverty, becomes a lucrative profession for some. Most girls just wasting time in bars and becomes stuck there. 

 

It is not just black and white, and excuses are just excuses nothing else. There is a few women’s «experts» here who continuously sharing their experience of bad women, but the very same members loves free girls and pick them up one by one and just using them for fun because they can. 

[sqwakvfr]

What do rural Thai residents think when they see a 70+ year old foreigner with a bride in her 20's and a baby? 

[VocalNeal]

Just now, sqwakvfr said:

What do rural Thai residents think when they see a 70+ year old foreigner with a bride in her 20's and a baby? 

Stupid <deleted>

[sqwakvfr]

3 minutes ago, VocalNeal said:

Stupid <deleted>

it was serious questioin and I asked a Thai girl in her 30's in CNX and she said "it's weird" .  This is just one opinion from a city girl.

[save the frogs]

11 hours ago, Hummin said:

Smart girls do not necessarily being a bad girl with bad intentions. Smart girls learn how to get out of the business, learning language and find the right man who will contribute to her future plans and dreams

 

Well, I met a girl. Not a hooker. She worked at 7-11 and she wanted me to help her transition into having her own business. In retrospect, maybe I should have considered taking her on and helping her out. But I got a bit nervous that she would hit me up for a lot of startup capital. She wanted to start a restaurant. 

 

But I did speak to a bar girl. I'm not sure she has any plans and dreams other than to keep working the bar until she can pay off her home in Isaan. Or find a foreign husband/sponsor. But I'm guessing not all bar girls have any ambitions other than to keep making money in the bars until they have enough or find a sponsor. They have no ambitions for any other career, at least some of them it seems. 

 

 

[Hummin]

8 minutes ago, sqwakvfr said:

What do rural Thai residents think when they see a 70+ year old foreigner with a bride in her 20's and a baby? 

There is many reasons why a girl will be with a man 70+, but what reasons and intentions do a 70 year old man have? 

 

Honestly seeing some girls where they coming from and what kind of family they have, you start to understand why a girl need economical safety, and also maybe a man she can trust will not leave here behind. Young men do tend to use them and run, same as foreigners we often see commenting here. 

 

But a 70 year old man, what is he thinking when establish a relationship with a 20 year old? 

 

 

[atpeace]

5 minutes ago, Hummin said:

 

Smart girls do not necessarily being a bad girl with bad intentions. Smart girls learn how to get out of the business, learning language and find the right man who will contribute to her future plans and dreams. 

 

So you empathize with older fools who let them being fooled by younger prostitutes? Or you speaking of experience? 

 

Prostitution is an evil circle where many girls comes to Pattaya to work, and being used and abused by men who promise them a golden future, and exploits their yuth, but leave them behind, one by one, and of course smart girls learns the game and becomes professionals. After all what could be a ticket out of poverty, becomes a lucrative profession for some. Most girls just wasting time in bars and becomes stuck there. 

 

It is not just black and white, and excuses are just excuses nothing else. There is a few women’s «experts» here who continuously sharing their experience of bad women, but the very same members loves free girls and pick them up one by one and just using them for fun because they can. 

I agree and I don't empathize with older folks with younger prostitutes.  To each his own but what are the odds of success? It can happen and I have actually seen it work for both parties.  Exponentially more failures though but always the dream that my young lady is different keeps them lining up to be taken advantage of and in my opinion both parties suffer.  Very few happy older prostitutes compared to the general population and that goes for the ones driving nice cars and living in big homes.  

[Hummin]

17 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

 

Well, I met a girl. Not a hooker. She worked at 7-11 and she wanted me to help her transition into having her own business. In retrospect, maybe I should have considered taking her on and helping her out. But I got a bit nervous that she would hit me up for a lot of startup capital. She wanted to start a restaurant. 

 

But I did speak to a bar girl. I'm not sure she has any plans and dreams other than to keep working the bar until she can pay off her home in Isaan. Or find a foreign husband/sponsor. But I'm guessing not all bar girls have any ambitions other than to keep making money in the bars until they have enough or find a sponsor. They have no ambitions for any other career, at least some of them it seems. 

 

 

 

I can tell you one thing, living a few places long enough, you see these business minded clever girls houls in man after man for new ideas and trap them until they finely figure out they was taken for a short ride, and an expensive ride. 

 

Bar girls and freelancers comes in all shapes and forms, and I believe most members here who are in a relationship are not married to an decent educated woman who works in the government. Girls who seeks out foreign men do so with intentions. I do not say all of them, but many have a plan for the future, because they where let down by a man or men in their past. 

 

There is good girls, and bad girls, and girls who where bad to one, can be good to another, same as us, we come in different shapes and forms, as well with luggage from earlier experiences. 

[save the frogs]

11 hours ago, sqwakvfr said:

What do rural Thai residents think when they see a 70+ year old foreigner with a bride in her 20's and a baby? 

there's pros and cons.

child may not have a father much longer, but will inherit a lot and be set for life maybe, assuming he's not broke which he probably isn't if the 20 year old is with him. 

and a lot of fathers are horrible anyway. so some kids are better off without one. 

 

[transam]

1 minute ago, atpeace said:

I agree and I don't empathize with older folks with younger prostitutes.  To each his own but what are the odds of success? It can happen and I have actually seen it work for both parties.  Exponentially more failures though but always the dream that my young lady is different keeps them lining up to be taken advantage of and in my opinion both parties suffer.  Very few happy older prostitutes compared to the general population and that goes for the ones driving nice cars and living in big homes.  

Let's not think all farangy marriages are with a working girl, eh.  🤗

[Hummin]

4 minutes ago, atpeace said:

I agree and I don't empathize with older folks with younger prostitutes.  To each his own but what are the odds of success? It can happen and I have actually seen it work for both parties.  Exponentially more failures though but always the dream that my young lady is different keeps them lining up to be taken advantage of and in my opinion both parties suffer.  Very few happy older prostitutes compared to the general population and that goes for the ones driving nice cars and living in big homes.  

 

A luxurious facade cant hide yourself from yourself,