Got the tee shirt, and they were only 100 baht for 5 in those days. Lived in a shoebox......

When you've had the majority of stds on the menu.

No longer have any heart left.

Have no friends but know 200 people.

Complain about everything.

Eat 10 chillies in your pad gaprow and think it's not spicy enough.

Experienced the joys of managing a thai workplace.

Prefer Leo or hongthong (debatable). 

Witness 20 different traffic infringements and the odd death on your daily commute and it's normal. 

Speed limit? What's that?

Use of domestic air travel as if it's a bus service.

Start to feel cold when the weather dips to 25°. 

Hide in man cave during songkran. 

"Mr where u from" "where u hotel" elicits a tired emotion of complete detachment. 

Can eat vendors food that's been hanging in the sun all day and not get sick.

No longer hear or see taxi touts trying to get your attention, they got tuned out 15 years ago.

Check asean now each morning. 

Able to carry a truckload of goods on a scooter + a token dog if u want to be that guy. 

 

On 7/19/2025 at 7:59 AM, SoCal1990 said:

What qualifies someone as a real old-hand in Asia, particularly in Thailand? Years in-country, experience with visas and immigration, half a dozen failed romances, knowledge of local culture, language skills, or merely staying long enough without going home?

 

Personally, I’d say if you haven’t done at least 20 years here, you’re still a mid-level newbie. It’s only after the two-decade mark that you can claim true “old-hand” status. That's when you’ve seen governments change multiple times, witnessed street protests, department store fires, coups, tsunamis, currency crashes, floods, bar scenes rise and fall, and you’ve been through at least a couple cycles of Thailand reinventing itself.

 

And for those who hit 30 years? I don’t even know what category that is… ancient relic? Museum piece? Or maybe just “part of the woodwork.” Either way, at that point you've seen it all, and none of it surprises you anymore. Not even a soi full of ladyboys. 

Frankly the distinction of being considered an old hand shouldn't be defined by the number of years one spends in a particular country.  Case in point I spent several years in the Philippines courtesy of the US Navy and learned how to speak the language semi-fluently, learned the culture and many other aspects of life in the Philippines; not to mention various other SE Asian countries which I've visited, enjoyed and learned as much as I could about them.  In summation I would say that I qualify (not by your definition) to be called an old hand.  Ya think?

On 7/20/2025 at 3:15 AM, SoCal1990 said:

After 20-30 years, you should at least be able to speak it with a 4th grade proficiency. No excuse not to. 

After 30 years of coming to Thailand I reckon that you have achieved old hand status when you are walking down soi 6 and a lovely young lady approaches you and says hello hansum man and you can tell if she really thinks you are hansum or she wants the hansum money that's in your wallet.

On 7/19/2025 at 12:45 PM, Yagoda said:

If you have had screaming chili sh*ts in a roadside squat in Isaan, then gotten back on the bus, you are an old hand.

Been there, done that.

To be a Thailand old hand you need to know Trink's favourite brand of beef stew.

On 7/19/2025 at 2:59 PM, SoCal1990 said:

What qualifies someone as a real old-hand in Asia, particularly in Thailand? Years in-country, experience with visas and immigration, half a dozen failed romances, knowledge of local culture, language skills, or merely staying long enough without going home?

 

Personally, I’d say if you haven’t done at least 20 years here, you’re still a mid-level newbie. It’s only after the two-decade mark that you can claim true “old-hand” status. That's when you’ve seen governments change multiple times, witnessed street protests, department store fires, coups, tsunamis, currency crashes, floods, bar scenes rise and fall, and you’ve been through at least a couple cycles of Thailand reinventing itself.

 

And for those who hit 30 years? I don’t even know what category that is… ancient relic? Museum piece? Or maybe just “part of the woodwork.” Either way, at that point you've seen it all, and none of it surprises you anymore. Not even a soi full of ladyboys. 

Been coming here for 37 years and have stayed 5 years in Pattaya and 5 years on Koh Samui and more. I do, however, always go back to my birth country once in a while for a longer period of time to not get stuck in a hole of no meaning and boredom! Boredom is a bitch and will kill you slowly but surely! Alcoholism, obese, bad healt follows. Sad to see too many ending up like that.  🙄

2 minutes ago, harryviking said:

Been coming here for 37 years and have stayed 5 years in Pattaya and 5 years on Koh Samui and more. I do, however, always go back to my birth country once in a while for a longer period of time to not get stuck in a hole of no meaning and boredom! Boredom is a bitch and will kill you slowly but surely! Alcoholism, obese, bad healt follows. Sad to see too many ending up like that.  🙄

 

Baffles me how one can become bored here, plenty to see and do and if you run out of that buy some toys to play with (I bought a CRG Shifter cart on the weekend, can't wait to get it cleaned up and start ripping around Bira ).

On 7/19/2025 at 9:48 PM, Lacessit said:

Ability to speak, understand, read and write Thai with fluency.

 

That would be a small percentage of foreigners living here.

Reading and writing are optional. The ability to engage in a serious conversation in Thai takes time and creates insight. Being an old-hand means very unlikely to be taken for a ride by a local. If you don't understand the language, you can't gain insight.

58 minutes ago, Bredbury Blue said:

To be a Thailand old hand you need to know Trink's favourite brand of beef stew.

Had to owl stew, not beef 'cause he don't give a hoot!

On 7/20/2025 at 7:09 AM, Peter Crow said:

Nam.

Smokey this isn't 'Nam 🙂

14 minutes ago, DualSportBiker said:

Reading and writing are optional. The ability to engage in a serious conversation in Thai takes time and creates insight. Being an old-hand means very unlikely to be taken for a ride by a local. If you don't understand the language, you can't gain insight.

I can converse in Thai, and AFAIK I have not been taken for a ride by a Thai.

 

Been here 15 years, I don't consider myself an old hand.

 

On 7/19/2025 at 7:59 PM, SoCal1990 said:

What qualifies someone as a real old-hand in Asia, particularly in Thailand? Years in-country, experience with visas and immigration, half a dozen failed romances, knowledge of local culture, language skills, or merely staying long enough without going home?

 

Personally, I’d say if you haven’t done at least 20 years here, you’re still a mid-level newbie. It’s only after the two-decade mark that you can claim true “old-hand” status. That's when you’ve seen governments change multiple times, witnessed street protests, department store fires, coups, tsunamis, currency crashes, floods, bar scenes rise and fall, and you’ve been through at least a couple cycles of Thailand reinventing itself.

 

And for those who hit 30 years? I don’t even know what category that is… ancient relic? Museum piece? Or maybe just “part of the woodwork.” Either way, at that point you've seen it all, and none of it surprises you anymore. Not even a soi full of ladyboys. 

 

And for those who hit 30 years? I don’t even know what category that is

 

 

Possibly JURASSIC?

On 7/19/2025 at 7:59 PM, SoCal1990 said:

What qualifies someone as a real old-hand in Asia, particularly in Thailand? Years in-country, experience with visas and immigration, half a dozen failed romances, knowledge of local culture, language skills, or merely staying long enough without going home?

 

Personally, I’d say if you haven’t done at least 20 years here, you’re still a mid-level newbie. It’s only after the two-decade mark that you can claim true “old-hand” status. That's when you’ve seen governments change multiple times, witnessed street protests, department store fires, coups, tsunamis, currency crashes, floods, bar scenes rise and fall, and you’ve been through at least a couple cycles of Thailand reinventing itself.

 

And for those who hit 30 years? I don’t even know what category that is… ancient relic? Museum piece? Or maybe just “part of the woodwork.” Either way, at that point you've seen it all, and none of it surprises you anymore. Not even a soi full of ladyboys. 

I would rate as a relic by your standards, but came in my early 20s so I'm not actually ancient.

I am unwilling claim any expertise, but i certainly don't struggle under most circumstances  

On 7/19/2025 at 11:25 PM, Patong2021 said:

There are no "old hands". Most AN members were old when they arrived and after a few years were ready to die. If I look at the members listing from when I first started to read the forums, 80%+ are either dead or were forced to move back to their homelands. I can think of multiple members who are long dead. The CM forum had a nice in memoriam page. That's where you can find the old hands.

First arrived on these shores in 1962. Business visits in the 70s, lived and worked here In the 80s, married my lovely Thai wife in Taiwan in 1990, and retired to Thailand in 1993. Still living in Thailand, and still happily married to the same lady in 2025, dividing our time between our house in Bangkok and our country place in Rayong province where we have a host of cats, dogs and other animals. No idea if this makes me an 'old hand' or, at 83, merely old. Wife now 70, btw, and still an excellent cook, driver, and companion.

 

On 7/19/2025 at 6:45 PM, Yagoda said:

If you have had screaming chili sh*ts in a roadside squat in Isaan, then gotten back on the bus, you are an old hand.

I would just call that "incontinent"

On 7/19/2025 at 11:25 PM, Patong2021 said:

There are no "old hands". Most AN members were old when they arrived

I think you meant "some" not most!

7 hours ago, chondan said:

Been there, done that.

I should have added "with a yadom up your nose"

6 hours ago, Bredbury Blue said:

To be a Thailand old hand you need to know Trink's favourite brand of beef stew.

Dinty Moore. 

2 hours ago, kwilco said:

I would just call that "incontinent"

 

Is that like "incountry"?

There has only ever been one real Thailand old hand, the deceased night owl, the legendary Bernard Trink. 

There have been many pretenders over the decades, exposed by the legend as fakes in his weekly column. He maintened the most stringent criteria for admission to the exclusive club of genuine old hands. 

On 7/19/2025 at 8:33 AM, connda said:

First came here in the early 80s.

As did I.  A very different place back then.  

7 hours ago, madone said:

I would rate as a relic by your standards, but came in my early 20s so I'm not actually ancient.

I am unwilling claim any expertise, but i certainly don't struggle under most circumstances  

 

Your Avatar looks familiar, I just cant place it.

1 hour ago, thecyclist said:

There has only ever been one real Thailand old hand, the deceased night owl, the legendary Bernard Trink. 

There have been many pretenders over the decades, exposed by the legend as fakes in his weekly column. He maintened the most stringent criteria for admission to the exclusive club of genuine old hands. 

 

And what was the criteria?

12 hours ago, sikishrory said:

When you've had the majority of stds on the menu.

No longer have any heart left.

Have no friends but know 200 people.

Complain about everything.

Eat 10 chillies in your pad gaprow and think it's not spicy enough.

Experienced the joys of managing a thai workplace.

Prefer Leo or hongthong (debatable). 

Witness 20 different traffic infringements and the odd death on your daily commute and it's normal. 

Speed limit? What's that?

Use of domestic air travel as if it's a bus service.

Start to feel cold when the weather dips to 25°. 

Hide in man cave during songkran. 

"Mr where u from" "where u hotel" elicits a tired emotion of complete detachment. 

Can eat vendors food that's been hanging in the sun all day and not get sick.

No longer hear or see taxi touts trying to get your attention, they got tuned out 15 years ago.

Check asean now each morning. 

Able to carry a truckload of goods on a scooter + a token dog if u want to be that guy. 

 

 

I wonder if any forum members meet that criteria? Hmmm...

On 7/19/2025 at 11:49 PM, kwilco said:

 

 Certainly longevity alone doesn’t equal insight....and what does "old hand" even mean - it's a sort of self congratualtory phrase to try and justify their embedded bigotry?
I know people who’ve lived here for decades and still don’t geddit.
That’s the Expat Paradox in action: years in Thailand, yet culturally tone-deaf, socially isolated, and clinging to outdated superiority complexes. 
Why are they here? Not for Thailand, that’s for sure.
They’re here for an “affordable” lifestyle:
•    A pension that stretches
•    Cheap beer and cheaper rentals
•    Casual sex well past their expiration date
•    And a wife who functions more like a live-in maid than a partner.
They never worked in Thailand.
They never engaged with Thai society beyond surface-level transactions.
They don’t speak the language, they don’t trust the locals, and often don’t even like them.
So what does 30 years here really mean… if you’ve spent it drunk, bitter, and surrounded only by other expats?
Being “part of the woodwork” isn’t a badge of honour —
It’s often just code for being stuck, irrelevant, and unaware that Thailand moved on without you.
 

 

Sounds a tad bitter, time to go home?

5 hours ago, DezLez said:

I think you meant "some" not most!

 

I genuinely believe that most are older age group , age 60+.  When I first arrived as a young visitor, there were was still a vibrant expat community of  people  working for foreign based companies like Ford, Toyota. Deloitte, Siemens etc.  Those people were in their mid 30's to 40's.  25-35 years later they are now in their  60's 70's or older if still here.  I think the shift  away from foreign managers expert came at the end of the 1990's.  Companies, scaled back.  Even the hotels have reduced the number of foreign employees. Maybe a chef or a manager, or F&B person, but the large numbers of Thais who had gone to the Gulf and returned to Thailand after some time, brought back a wealth of skill and knowledge such that the hospitality sector could source internally. Foreign operated small business  go through so many hassles now, that it just isn't worth the effort. The labour issues, the shakedowns, the market swings, all make the operating environment much more difficult than it was 25 years ago.

 

Yes, there were old hands 20+ years ago, but I believe Covid and the natural aging process changed it such that the generation of old timers is mostly gone, and those who are left either are returning to their homelands for healthcare, or are simply dying off. When I lived in patong, I could recognize the foreign residents owned businesses and foreign residents as they were everywhere. Many of the favourite shops/restaurants have sold off or closed. My condo, which used to be filled with so many westerners, has had a visit from the grim reaper. The old timers were replaced by Russian and Chinese absentee unit holders who rent them out to  countrymen.

7 hours ago, Thingamabob said:

First arrived on these shores in 1962. Business visits in the 70s, lived and worked here In the 80s, married my lovely Thai wife in Taiwan in 1990, and retired to Thailand in 1993. Still living in Thailand, and still happily married to the same lady in 2025, dividing our time between our house in Bangkok and our country place in Rayong province where we have a host of cats, dogs and other animals. No idea if this makes me an 'old hand' or, at 83, merely old. Wife now 70, btw, and still an excellent cook, driver, and companion.

 

 

I'd say it makes you fortunate, and/or lucky, and/or the envy of many people.  May you enjoy many more years of happiness and good health.

9 hours ago, Patong2021 said:

 

I'd say it makes you fortunate, and/or lucky, and/or the envy of many people.  May you enjoy many more years of happiness and good health.

Very kind.  Thank you. I have been lucky. If I not had the good fortune to, over time, get to know, and later partner, a good and caring lady it could all have turned out very differently. 

31 minutes ago, Thingamabob said:

Very kind.  Thank you. I have been lucky. If I not had the good fortune to, over time, get to know, and later partner, a good and caring lady it could all have turned out very differently. 

Not the way you use your hand. 👋