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Winston: How might Churchill have battled haemorrhoids?

Featured Replies

Dear Folks,

 

As you know, I have just watched, for the third time, Albert’s film impersonating Winston.

 

And, while watching this film, I was impressed.

 

In fact, I was so impressed, I asked myself…..

 

How might Winston attack his piles, if he had them, which is almost certain, even though I cannot find any links to his piles in his diaries.

 

Sometimes, during idle hours, it is just these kinds of questions which occupy my mind, and with good reason.

 

I doubt that this is a “health Topic", and so might you.

 

More, I would say that this Topic is a curiosity, which, I hope, will encourage members to be curious about all things, in order that you, too, can become scientists and statesmen.

 

So, I do wonder, would Churchill have written a great speech about his piles, similar to the stirring one, of many, he wrote when Britain was in peril?

 

Will we fight the piles on the beaches?

 

Truly, Finney is a Fantastic actor.

Finney will be dearly missed, for centuries, and I have no doubt.

 

Someday, maybe not tomorrow, I will visit Winston’s house….

 

It’s on my bucket list.

 

What about you?

 

Best regards,

Gamma

 

Note:  Any pertinent (or impertinent) thoughts?

 

Note2:  Winston just got on with life, no matter what…..And there is a nice speech in the Finney film, if you might have time to watch it.

  • Author
Just now, save the frogs said:

you're begging for thumbs downs, boy

 

I am begging for a thumbs up, or a like.

But, you must first see the humor in it.

 

  • Author
2 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

downs, boy

 

 

I think you meant....."Down boy!"

 

 

13 minutes ago, GammaGlobulin said:

How might Winston attack his piles,

Ladyboy?

  • Popular Post

He may well have been heard to say.......

 

We will fight them on the beaches—
And in the bathroom seats,
We will fight them in the doctor’s chair,
We will fight them on the sheets,
We will never surrender—
Though the itch may not cease.

 

We shall fight with creams and ice packs,
With fiber and with stool,
We shall fight with cautious wiping,
And seats that give some cool.

 

We will not yield to pain or burn,
Nor bow to swollen grief,
For though hemorrhoids may come and go,
We'll stand—on our own brief relief.

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Piles of what on the beaches? Foreign bodies that are a pain in the arse? 

12 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

 

I am begging for a thumbs up, or a like.

But, you must first see the humor in it.

 

 

Churchill  was a giant man now being mocked by mere mortals. 

 

Did u know he spoke French? You did not.

 

 

Wire brush and Dettol

 

No creams or magic potions for Winston

 

Both Blenheim Palace and Chartwell are worth a visit.

I had piles once and I went to a doctor. He gave me some large white tablets, but for all the good they did I may as well stuck them up my ar*e.

He would have put a mirror against a wall, laid on his back and lifted up his legs on the wall spreading his cheeks seeing the hemm. Then,  snip it off with scissors.   That is what a real man like him and I do.

What happened to the other two spammers? they seem to have thrown the towel in

  • Author
1 hour ago, save the frogs said:

 

Churchill  was a giant man now being mocked by mere mortals. 

 

Did u know he spoke French? You did not.

 

 

 

i presumed that he did.

 

  • Popular Post
3 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

I am begging for a thumbs up

 

Thumbs up is probably how he managed his hemorrhoids 

Just now, lamyai3 said:

 

Thumbs up is probably how he managed his hemorrhoids 

 

 

Been there, done that.........

 

 

  • Author
4 minutes ago, lamyai3 said:

 

Thumbs up is probably how he managed his hemorrhoids 

 

Strangely enough, I was thinking exactly the same thing.

 

  • Author
59 minutes ago, proton said:

What happened to the other two spammers? they seem to have thrown the towel in

 

Have you contacted Albert Finney, to ask him?

No doubt, both are up in heaven, with Finney.

Is not heaven where all good spammers go, when they have reached their final comment?

 

"How might Churchill have battled haemorrhoids?" 

 

Mrs Churchill affectionately referred to her husband's struggle with haemorrhoids as "the battle of the bulge" 

5 hours ago, bkk6060 said:

He would have put a mirror against a wall, laid on his back and lifted up his legs on the wall spreading his cheeks seeing the hemm. Then,  snip it off with scissors.   That is what a real man like him and I do.

 

He'd have had Clemmie do it.

 

17 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

 

i presumed that he did.

 

 

Here, check these books out.

Revised editions.

 

image.png.850b00f2fb67eebdd95f61d7e7148fb3.png

 

image.png.b67edc78df3db37e8ba4ff0df46af4bc.png

 

 

 

He would fight them on the beaches, he would fight them on the landing grounds, he would fight them in the fields and in the streets, he would fight them in the hills; he would never surrender!

He probably had them in mind when he said this; "Evils can be created much quicker than they can be cured."

Wire brush and dettol , I think that's what he used 

 

regards worgeordie

I knew an older man  who was a brilliant mathematician who had this problem. He eventually worked it out with a pencil !

On 8/9/2025 at 10:15 AM, GammaGlobulin said:

 

I am begging for a thumbs up, or a like.

But, you must first see the humor in it.

 

But, too many members here will not see the answer as funny, as he would have called the US and France for help again! 😂🤣

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